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LongLiveLife

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I generally pride myself at keeping out of situations where I have to choose an evil, but it seems seven hours ago my vigilance has fallen short.

I have an exam in two days, and in this exam you are given a case to research a month before. On the day you are allowed to bring in twenty sides of research. The research you bring in will inevitably be your answers to the questions in the exam, so the better your research the better your grade.

I agreed to share my work with Friend A and Friend B.

Two weeks ago Friend A and I worked on some notes, which he consented for me to give to Friend B; today he gave a set of notes which are prettier, more thorough and more concise, which he explicitly told me not to share with Friend B.

Friends A and B are my closest friends in university, and I am stuck at a crossroad. Share the notes and I betray Friend A's trust; keep them and I knowingly 'condemn' Friend B.

From a strictly utilitarian standpoint, keeping the notes incurs the least consequences. If Friend B finds out I'm using different notes in the exam (which he more likely than not will; we all gather outside the exam hall before the exam, and if he wants to discuss something beforehand, I'm screwed), only our relationship gets damaged. If I share the notes (and if I do, I have to tell Friend B not to tell Friend A about it), Friend A and Friend B's relationship will be strained, and when Friend B figures out why (he's a smart kid; he'll work it out), my relationship with him will be damaged also. That's two damaged relationships.

Either choice is a betrayal. Now the question is who do I betray?
 

CaptainMarvelQ8

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can't you reason with friend A?
if i were in your situation where im screwed both way's,i'd go with friend A since he did all the work and he's the one giving you the notes,so without him neither you nor friend B would get anything
 

LongLiveLife

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He's just the sort of uber competitive person who wants to win. I don't know. A never gave me a reason; A just said, don't share this with anyone, not even B.

I thought they were tight. Two weeks ago B also thought A had his back; B probably still does.

can't you reason with friend A?
if i were in your situation where im screwed both way's,i'd go with friend A since he did all the work and he's the one giving you the notes,so without him neither you nor friend B would get anything

It was an effort the first time round; if I push my luck, I might not get future help from A.

Not totally true. We all chipped in our bit, me more than B and A more than all of us; but the point is that the latest doc has some of B's ideas in it, too.
 

Professor Ven

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In this situation, I honestly wouldn't give a flying catastrophic word of colorful notoriety about it. Friend A said not to share it, but if Friend B chipped in as well, then B needs to be on the down low too. Otherwise Friend A really isn't a Friend, and smells like a rank sewage drain in the heat of summer, and needs to understand teamwork is more effective in the medical field than 1v1ing peeps.
 

Klom89

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In this situation, I honestly wouldn't give a flying catastrophic word of colorful notoriety about it. Friend A said not to share it, but if Friend B chipped in as well, then B needs to be on the down low too. Otherwise Friend A really isn't a Friend, and smells like a rank sewage drain in the heat of summer, and needs to understand teamwork is more effective in the medical field than 1v1ing peeps.



I agree 100%. Giving B the notes WILL make Friend A mad, but if all three of you get a good grade on this assignment, I'd say it's worth the risk.

Besdies, if you guys really are as close as you say, then I doubt notes from a school project of all things will be enough to damage such a strong bond.
 

LongLiveLife

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needs to understand teamwork is more effective in the medical field than 1v1ing peeps.

Agreed completely. However, I should make it clearer that, of the twenty pages, maybe about a paragraph came from B. He contributed something to the work, but that was when we were discussing the old document. Essentially, they say the same things; they're just presented differently and in more detail in the later one.

I agree 100%. Giving B the notes WILL make Friend A mad, but if all three of you get a good grade on this assignment, I'd say it's worth the risk.

Besdies, if you guys really are as close as you say, then I doubt notes from a school project of all things will be enough to damage such a strong bond.

The problem is that this isn't just a school project. The way the UK education system works is that you have soul-determining exams that determine your entry to the next year (or more appropriately for high achievers like A and myself) the difference between a Merit and a Distinction. This is one of those exams and contributes something like 20% of my final grade.

If we really were that close, we wouldn't be hiding notes from each other in the first place. Recent events have made me realize I'm close to both of them, but they aren't as close to each other. Unless this is all just a ruse and they've got things they're hiding from me, too.

I'm just not cut for all this circles-within-circles, stab-your-friend-in-the-back nonsense.


I'm giving counterarguments for everything because I want to be a hundred percent sure when I make that decision. I appreciate any and all views because I have about 24 hours left to decide to share the notes.
 

Zero

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Share the notes, if A really is your friend then he wouldnt care in the end and B needs your help, if it was me I would help out my friend especially on something like that.
 

Klom89

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Agreed completely. However, I should make it clearer that, of the twenty pages, maybe about a paragraph came from B. He contributed something to the work, but that was when we were discussing the old document. Essentially, they say the same things; they're just presented differently and in more detail in the later one.



The problem is that this isn't just a school project. The way the UK education system works is that you have soul-determining exams that determine your entry to the next year (or more appropriately for high achievers like A and myself) the difference between a Merit and a Distinction. This is one of those exams and contributes something like 20% of my final grade.

If we really were that close, we wouldn't be hiding notes from each other in the first place. Recent events have made me realize I'm close to both of them, but they aren't as close to each other. Unless this is all just a ruse and they've got things they're hiding from me, too.

I'm just not cut for all this circles-within-circles, stab-your-friend-in-the-back nonsense.


I'm giving counterarguments for everything because I want to be a hundred percent sure when I make that decision. I appreciate any and all views because I have about 24 hours left to decide to share the notes.

Well, even if there's negativty between the two of them, it shouldn't interfere with schoolwork. They are taking this exam just as you are....so ALL three of your grades are on the line. I'm afraid this is one of those times where you have to think with your'e brain and not your Heart.

Weigh your consequences: Is it better for A and you to pass, but for B to fail? Or for A to be mad, but all of you pass? B's effort doesn't matter. The consequences for faliure apply to all three of you.

Share the notes, if A really is your friend then he wouldnt care in the end and B needs your help, if it was me I would help out my friend especially on something like that.

Exactly. If an exam like this is so important, these two aren't looking at it in the right light if theyr'e letting a petty rivalry (that is or isn't there) get in their way.

I hate backstabbers, too....I've had it done to me one too many times....

The counterarguments help. The point of this thread is to help....Whatever gets the job done. :)
 
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Dexel

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Hmm...as much as you've made a point that you and Friend A are both high achievers, what about Friend B? You said yourself that Friend B contributed maybe one paragraph out of twenty pages worth of research, even if you did state earlier he was smart, though that might not necessarily mean he's on the same "level" as you and A. Frankly, I'd say giving such notes to a man who would be unable to fend for himself at a higher level of thought/function/however you say this than he can manage later, whether through laziness or genuine dim-wittedness, would be a little counter-productive.​

Regardless, I would have to agree that keeping the notes would incur the least amount of consequences unless Friend B somehow figures out that you and Friend A kept notes from him. If things turned out like that, then it'd be just as well to give Friend B the notes and ruin the friendship between you and Friend A as well as between them to ensure all three of you pass. Also, just to clarify, do you get graded as a grade or individually?​

Sorry in advance if I don't turn out much help here.​
 
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Banishing Blade

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Keep the notes. If B finds out, tell him to stop being a little bitch and imply that he should have done his own work if he was not satisfied with what you provided him with.
 

LongLiveLife

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Share the notes, if A really is your friend then he wouldnt care in the end and B needs your help, if it was me I would help out my friend especially on something like that.

I'm about to convolute the story even further. A made a third, inferior set of notes before the first pack I gave to B, which he circulated to me and a few others. Someone leaked, and he was furious. He made it clear then that he would 'destroy' (to use his word) anyone who leaked in the future, and he's the sort who would. He then took to keeping tabs on who has which version (there are a few others which, for the sake of simplicity, I'm leaving out). Now, if anyone leaks, he'll know who.

Weigh your consequences: Is it better for A and you to pass, but for B to fail? Or for A to be mad, but all of you pass? B's effort doesn't matter. The consequences for faliure apply to all three of you.

Save for the one that was leaked, all the notes are very comprehensive. It's likely that none of us will fail, but it's also likely that B will get a lower grade than A and I.

You said yourself that Friend B contributed maybe one paragraph out of twenty pages worth of research, even if you did state earlier he was smart, though that might not necessarily mean he's on the same "level" as you and A. Frankly, I'd say giving such notes to a man who would be unable to fend for himself at a higher level of thought/function/however you say this than he can manage later, whether through laziness or genuine dim-wittedness, would be a little counter-productive.​

Also, just to clarify, do you get graded as a grade or individually?​

He hasn't shown himself to be on the same level as A and me on paper -- far from it -- but in a conversation when we were discussing the research, he held up his end, and he is as smart as me, if he just bothered to put in more effort.

The pass-fail mark is absolute, but Distinctions and Merits are awarded on a curve. The top 20% of the year get Distinctions, then the 10% under them are the Merits.

Keep the notes. If B finds out, tell him to stop being a little bitch and imply that he should have done his own work if he was not satisfied with what you provided him with.

I think I may just do this and just make sure he doesn't find out, because I only have to keep being sneaky until after the exam tomorrow and be done with it forever.

Problem is that B uses OpenOffice and he can't edit the Word document. What is meant to be 20 pages spans 44 pages for him. OpenOffice handles textboxes poorly.

Doesn't friend B already have a packet? If so, why would you need to share with him?

I just feel like B already has some information, and he can go on what he's got.

This is a silly exam. It doesn't test your knowledge (evidently; you're allowed to take in 20 sides of answers); it doesn't test your ability to research (you could have researched EVERYTHING but cut out things you need when trying to get it to fit 20 sides); it tests your ability to format with Word (how much you can fit onto one page) and the speed of your writing.

Having neater notes means you can find information easier and fit in more potentially relevant details.
 

LongLiveLife

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Double posting.


Thank you to all who have contributed advice.

For those of you interested, I ultimately decided to call A, and he was more understanding than I ever imagined. I spent about 10 minutes thinking about what to say; I even wrote bullet-points; but he never let me finish my speech. He apologized for his selfishness, said to share the notes, and we all lived happily ever after. I won't lie, though: mentally preparing myself for the call was a trial of determination and courage, and I must have stared at my phone for a decent five minutes before finally going through with it.

I'm glad I did, because, as far as I know, zero relationships were strained with this approach, and it was a lot easier than I expected.
 
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