Regardless of whether or not it is a "private" issue really doesn't matter. Maybe you haven't noticed yet, but bringing issues with another member out in the open doesn't get you much more than ridicule.
While you may have changed from before, that doesn't seem to have been enough. I understand that you feel that you've done your part and that Sam needs to do his, but both of you being stubborn isn't going to get anything done. Both of you think you are in the right and are not going to just roll over for the other. If you want to stop being abused like you constantly whine about being, then try to compromise. I honestly don't think Sam would be so unreasonable as to not at least consider that if you did it right. If not, this shit is just going to keep happening.
As far as your access to chat is concerned, Sam has been stripped of his power there, so you won't have to worry about that, at least for a little bit anyway.