A Candy Man & Chosen Again Collab

[Candy Man]

"Heroes get remembered, but legends never die."

An enchanted sword is nothing new, though their powers and strength have given birth to musings and quests of the young and restless for hundreds of years. Each mystical blade will succeed the next, until only one remains.
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Karde and his horse were akin to one another. Throughout any danger and challenge, they would persevere. And this adventure would be no different. He stopped along the dirt road at a small shack, a small girl morosefully sat in front of it.

Karde smiled and inquired triumphantly."I say, young girl, would you be able to tell me how to reach yonder castle?" He indicated the dark and powerful struture on the horizon. She looked up to him. "No more than you would know. This path wil lead you straight to it." With that he began to continue forward. "Sir?" He turned around, but made sure the horse was still looking forward. "Yes?"

"Would you happen to be able to spare a coin?" He raised his eyebrow. "And why is that?"A tear began to form in her eye. "Because, sir, I... am an orphan. My parents died long ago, in a tragic wolf-related incident. Being only 14 at the time, I was helpless to stop them. We raised those wolves like our own children, and they betrayed us. And now, all I have left is this little shack." Karde could only blink at the clearly false story.

But he regained his composure, smiled his shining teeth, and flicked asmall copper piece to the girl. He then whipped his reigns and rode north to he castle.

She watched until he had gone over the closest hill, and out of sight. "Cheap bastard."
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*Swordsman!*​

 

[Thor.]

Kamala wandered her imposing home with detached disinterest. Today was not the first day that she had spent wandering the halls, and it would likely not be the last. It was a large home and it offered some small distraction from the gloomy boredom that she spent her life in. Purple and gold tapestries hung in the halls adorning the dark stone walls. The Royal Banners that flew from the castle tops wore the same colors. As did every servant, guard, and piece of clothing in the castle. To say that she'd tired of them was to say that the sun provided light. In the plainest form she was tired of the colors but that was the surface. Her dislike of the royal arms went far beyond the colors. The way that they glistened in the sun. How they menaced in the darkness. Every nuance of the colors bored her. She had lived many years under those colors and she was tired of them.


As she walked down the darker, less traversed halls, she could almost see the members of the Castle Guard tense when she came near them. The Guards in this part of the Castle were not used to seeing actual royalty. Except for Salem. Who spent many hours in parts unknown. As such they were not accustomed to the way Kamala would acknowledge them. Or in even worse moments actually speak to them. Her exploration of the castle had reached this wing of the castle only days before and so, each Guard would freeze in anticipation of any possible unpleasentries.

Kamala had lived for twenty six years in this castle. She was the middle child. Her brother Salem was an unfortunate, brooding, man who spoke little, and when he did it was unsettling. He was the Senior Commander of the Sanctim. A group of women who had remarkable skills in weaponry and assassination arts. He had been their one and only trainer from the begging. The number of Sanctim had never been clear. Salem's official duty was head of military. He was in charge of anyone in the castle who held a weapon.

Meidara was the youngest and in charge of defense of the Castle. She was a cold calculating girl who had been raised by their cold father with only the malice of Salem and cold indifference of Kamala for company. Meidara was only twenty two and she was the second most ruthless in the family. Which, to Kamala meant she cared enough to have surpassed her. And was soft enough to still be less of a cruel bastard than Salem


Kamala was second born. Her duty was to prepare to uphold the crown as ruler of their small city. With the firstborn's job in the military and the third in defense the second is the one who is preparing to rule with an iron fist. Coincidentally Kamala had spent most of her life with no duties, no interests, and far too few books. As such she had become bored.


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Meidara ran the Eyeless through another fool. She could feel the surge of power that she had gained from his death. Eyeless was the singles greatest aide in her inevitable rise to power. She'd been guarding the throne room for years. Since she had been sixteen she had been warding off so-called heroes all dying to rescue peasants from the "iron grip" of her family. Why being ruled by her father was considered a fate worse than death she would never understand. The Guard could sometimes get a little rowdy when released into town and she shuddered to think what Salem did when he took his excursions. But they were no worse to the population than any other monarchy.

She rolled her eyes as she wiped the Eyeless on her dark silk blouse. She turned to Captain Helm. An unsettlingly large man with a voice to match that spent all of his days in the throne room. He had watched as Meidara quickly disposed of the newest "hero" without a word. Meidara thought maybe he resented her doing his job but she needed the power.

"Dispose of the fool." She said to Helm "Make sure his weapon disappears."


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Salems eyes were dull as he whipped the last of the life out of the woman.

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[Nyangoro]

It's got potential, but I'll hold off any comments on the story until it actually gets going.

Just a couple things:

1. Except for dialog, try not to start sentences with "and" or any other conjunction. Those words combine sentences, not start new ones.

2. Please, format dialog correctly (this seems to be a real problem on this site, lol). Basically, just start a new line for each speaker.

Other than those quibbles, it's very well done! Looking forward to more

EDIT: Read Chosen Again's entry. I must admit, I'm very impressed with your description, and didn't see anything structurally wrong. Keep up the good work!