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Help/Support ► a not-so big problem



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Aqua13

麿 恋仲 麿DYING OF EMBARRA
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Re: (updated) a problem that might need help from those with alot of expirience

Honestly, the situation got out of hand. Maybe its best that you guys don't get married until everyone involved is okay with it. I mean, you could give them that at least. If you and you guy are still in love, than marriage is just another way of expressing it. Wait it out, save money first because it ain't cheap afterwards and if in another year or two, you guys feel the same way about each other, than by golly do so. Love isn't blinded by age so if the mom still cannot take it, than find someone who will approve of you guys and go forth with it. im thinking the mom is stressing right now with the thought of another woman taking her place as your guy's leading woman. It's a natural thing for most mothers to go through, in my opinon

yeah i know...but now he broke up with me and theres nothing i can do since he doesnt even live near me or have a regular contact with him...
 

Iridium

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Re: (updated) a problem that might need help from those with alot of expirience

im trying, i mean....we don't live in the same state anymore, and i tried to keep the relationship alive, even with us being apart.

Somehow I missed that tid bit of information, guess I got too wrapped up into it I missed that @_@ Well then I can see the severity of the problem now..A long distance relationship can work but considering the previous issues you had with each other it's going to be pretty hard for it to work.


but now....guys have been really perverted around me, and focus there attention at me when im walking by and there been some incidents that happened with guys i dont ant to mention.


Tell them to buzz off (if you haven't already tried that.) and don't pay any attention to them; they're basically trolls. And being trolls they do things to get your attention, and the more attention you give them the more they tend to bother you.

If ignoring them doesn't work quite well do you best to ignore them.


im trying but i dont know how i can find this guy anymore, and this other guy that likes me is using every opportunity he can get.

Oh that friend who keeps making passes at you?
Hmmm... well he's a possible candidate but I'm not so sure.


i want to move away and see my x, but my baby brother is living with me, and he wants to live near his mom. idk what to do

How old is your brother if you don't mind me asking?
 

Aqua13

麿 恋仲 麿DYING OF EMBARRA
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Re: (updated) a problem that might need help from those with alot of expirience

Somehow I missed that tid bit of information, guess I got too wrapped up into it I missed that @_@ Well then I can see the severity of the problem now..A long distance relationship can work but considering the previous issues you had with each other it's going to be pretty hard for it to work.





Tell them to buzz off (if you haven't already tried that.) and don't pay any attention to them; they're basically trolls. And being trolls they do things to get your attention, and the more attention you give them the more they tend to bother you.

If ignoring them doesn't work quite well do you best to ignore them.




Oh that friend who keeps making passes at you?
Hmmm... well he's a possible candidate but I'm not so sure.




How old is your brother if you don't mind me asking?
idk, i see my friend nothing more than a brother, and im not the actual type to yell at anyone anymore.

there have been some incidents, with those guys i really wish i could have done something, but i feel so stupid and pathetic


my brother is 4, i have custody over him since my mom isnt capable of taking care of kids his age, and my brother wasnt treated very well with her anyways.

lol one time my brother accidently called me mom...
 
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Rabello

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Re: (updated) a problem that might need help from those with alot of expirience

my brother is 4, i have custody over him since my mom isnt capable of taking care of kids his age, and my brother wasnt treated very well with her anyways.

lol one time my brother accidently called me mom...

To him you are probably going to be his mom. This is something for you to get used to.


At first I was thinking "fucking hell, another stupid thread about how bad someones life is going to be", but this didn't annoy me as much as I first thought it would. First of, your ex is a pussy. I'm not talking about the fact the he moved. I would have moved as well. Thinking of going to work and educating myself is a bad thought that I try to avoid.
What I am talking about is the fact that he didn't really talk to you until you demanded some kind of an answer. That was a pussy move.

Now what I don't get is that his mom was ready to MOVE out of a state because his babyboy was having a relationship? Apparently you aren't too fugly because guys seem to be intrested in you. This would mean probably your dude wasn't a retard either (except he was, but you know...), so he is going to have another GF at some point. Are they going to move again? Shit, the mom is stupid.
 

Aqua13

麿 恋仲 麿DYING OF EMBARRA
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Re: (updated) a problem that might need help from those with alot of expirience

To him you are probably going to be his mom. This is something for you to get used to.


At first I was thinking "fucking hell, another stupid thread about how bad someones life is going to be", but this didn't annoy me as much as I first thought it would. First of, your ex is a pussy. I'm not talking about the fact the he moved. I would have moved as well. Thinking of going to work and educating myself is a bad thought that I try to avoid.
What I am talking about is the fact that he didn't really talk to you until you demanded some kind of an answer. That was a pussy move.

Now what I don't get is that his mom was ready to MOVE out of a state because his babyboy was having a relationship? Apparently you aren't too fugly because guys seem to be intrested in you. This would mean probably your dude wasn't a retard either (except he was, but you know...), so he is going to have another GF at some point. Are they going to move again? Shit, the mom is stupid.

i know, his mom moved because she didnt like me dating her son, maybe he'll move back or find another girl out there.

which sucks for me the most.

i probably do act as another to my baby brother. i do feel a bigger bond than just brother sister when im with him.


im glad u didn't get so annoyed by it, i was thinking this problem would be too big and people might see me just whining about it so i tried to be a little more detailed.

but thanks alot. i dont know if im decent looking or ugly, but i guess the guys looking over me shows signs, so thanks for the compliments.
 

Driveshaft23

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Re: (updated) a problem that might need help from those with alot of expirience

Hey, time for my two cents here. As hard as it will be, you need to let this guy go. Waiting for him is gonna suck even more than it hurts right now. As stated before, he's a pussy. I understand that his mom was over protective and he didn't want to lose her love, but he KNEW the consequences when he proposed. He couldn't stand by that commitment anymore and ultimately chose her over you. The sad truth is, he's not coming back, and I hate to have to tell you that. It really sucks that this happened, and I'm really sorry for you. You really need to move on, and that doesn't mean find a guy and date him. Being single might be the best thing right now, especially considering your brother, which is also a difficult topic.

Your brother looks at you as his mom right now. You do everything a mom is supposed to do, so that makes you mom to him. If you're serious about taking care of him and raising him, then do that and focus on doing that well. Let him take the place of your ex. All the pain and hurt and loneliness that you have from your ex, you need to take that and turn it into love for your brother. I promise you that if you focus on raising this little boy, if that's what you really want to do, that you'll be filled with happiness by him. It will also help with understanding why your ex's mom is a psycho over protective witch... But seriously, if your little brother is that important, make him the "man of your life" for right now. A lot of guys are like wine, we get better as we get older. At 19, we're still at the mental capacity of a 16 or 17 year old girl.

Also, if your little brother isn't something that you're ready for right now, then you need to make that known. If you don't want to be his mom right now, you shouldn't have to be. I don't know what the options would be for that, but there must be some. The way you speak though, I don't think this is what you want, I think you want to take care of him, so if I'm wrong, let me know.

Finally, the guy situation. First off, if this friend is only a brother to you, don't try to make it into something more unless you're sure you don't see him as just that. If you try to be boyfriend/girlfriend and it doesn't work, it's really goning to hurt the friendship. You also need to let him know how you feel, because sometimes us guys are idiots and can't tell that a girl doesn't like us like that.

The other guys, you really do need to either stand up to them, or just accept them being idiots. It's true that the more attention you give them, the more they'll do it. I don't know what they're doing, if you want to tell me in a private message or something, you can, but in most cases, giving a stern "stop!" normally does the trick. We're cowards on the inside most times and when we get told off, we normally stop. It could also create them to do it more, in which case you'd need to tell someone. I don't know where they're doing it and what they're doing, so I can't really give a good example of who to ask for help.

But seriously, you seem like a nice girl with a lot to offer. You have a job, you're in school and you're being a mommy at 19. That's a big load, and you haven't killed yourself or gone insane (at least not totally... kidding, you're not insane) and you still have the ability to love someone after they've ripped your heart out. You're strong, and it's going to get better, I promise. Let me know if you need anything and if you wanna tell me what they're doing.

Hope you're having a better day today and hope this helped, at least a little.
 

Aqua13

麿 恋仲 麿DYING OF EMBARRA
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Re: (updated) a problem that might need help from those with alot of expirience

wow, thanks, i think i feel better now.

i will try to get over him, i know i haven't made the best choices with him and i need to work on how i handle things and how i should take situations as well.

also, i so realize i should be a mother figure to my baby brother, and if it wasn't for me, he would still be abused.

thanks for everything, i think ill get over this problem soon.

ill just focus my love on my brother and not my ex.
 

Driveshaft23

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Re: (updated) a problem that might need help from those with alot of expirience

Glad to hear you're doing better. It'll get easier with time. And as far as your english, it is quite good. I'm happy to see someone with a different language learning English in USA, it's not super common these days.
 
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