Help/Support ► Am I a horrible person?

[Ehres]

(Disclaimer: I am Sol. Skarsgard. You probably know me, hah.)

This has been bothering me for some time. Usually it doesn't weigh on my conscience but I feel -- no matter what I do -- that I drive people away and I can't help it.

I really do give my all to people when I care. I don't care very often but when I do, I'll do anything. People have told me I'm really up-front and brash, which is fine, yet when I do things for people -- literally run around for them, do things for them when they're ill or upset or just in general, buy things for them because I want to give them something nice, support them emotionally and financially, give my spare time to them -- it just comes back on me like bad karma.

I'm pretty much indifferent to most problems most of the time. Not uncaring, just... aloof, I guess? Not to individuals, but to issues (that don't involve me) that go on because it's really very trivial and I think everyone should just relax, right? But apparently I'm rude for that. And yet it's fine when other people come to me for advice because they say it's honest advice. I don't try to sugarcoat anything and I think this bleeds through to when I do try to give advice to people I care for even if they may not want it.

It's like, even on here. I mean, I know my reputation isn't exactly great and it's just the Internet, right? Maybe I'm just being paranoid but I feel as if no matter what I do here -- things that most people don't even notice -- I get treated like shit for it. I really have no grudges against anybody here, but people are so damn rude to me a lot of the time and I really wonder what I've done to warrant it.

I don't know. Tell me? How can I improve? Am I a horrible person? Have I personally offended you? An honest opinion? Anything at all?

 

[Dentim]

From what I read you don't seem horrible to me, but that could be because I'm biased and pretty much in the same situation myself. I've been thinking about that for myself just this weekend and imo when you do the right thing, people shouldn't be bitching at you and generally be hypocrites. You can't ask people for help and later on admonish them just because they didn't catch on something else. In a sense, don't feel bad because others are pretty much making you for no reason.
I know this is pretty crappy advice (not actually advice more like criticism on others) but it's the best I could come up with since I haven't completely worked it out myself.

 

[Finland]

You're cool to me. I like honest people. And people see me as indifferent when they come to me for problems as well, sometimes, and give me crap for it, so I know how it feels.

But yeah, just dropping by and saying that I have nothing against you. You're fine.

 

[WilliamTheWise]

I don't know you, though it's hard to tell with everyone changing names since I left. But if you're taking the time to reflect on your action and really think if you are a horrible person, chances are you're not one. Horrible people never realize they are and if they do they enjoy it. You don't seem to want to be that kind of person which shows you're not self centered. Now you can accidently hurt people, I know I've screwed up with tons of people. That doesn't make you bad, just human. It's what you do afterwards, like self reflection and see how your actions effect others. Kind of what you're doing now. If it really is bothering you, I'd take some time and asking those people close to you in real life and see what they say. If you find a common opinion, consider it and maybe try and change.

 

[Lanydx reborn]

You haven't ticked me off and if you try and better yourself then no. Your okay.

 

[Enchanted Rose]

I doubt that you're a horrible person.

Some people naively have a sense of entitlement, an expectation that they should be treated with politeness and respect, and this just doesn't happen on the Internet where people are always more brash. Many people aren't on forums/discussion boards to form relationships with each poster they encounter, and you should not feel obliged to sugarcoat your words just so you don't accidentally upset someone. If you were deliberately going out of your way to be nasty, that would be another thing.

 

[Ehres]

Thanks, guys, for all your support. Just to clarify, I'm not actively looking to be recognised for what I've done and never have done -- it just grates on my nerves because I happen to notice that despite trying to do my best in any way that I can I find people being rude to me a lot; it sort of makes me wonder if I rub people the wrong way unintentionally. Which is fine, you know, because we can't all get on but I've had people in real life and on these forums who I've never even spoken to before -- never even heard of -- say nasty things to and about me. It's sort of shocking, and when I try to defend myself it makes me look like an asshole so I'm sort of like "what do".

 

[Ðari]

I'd measure your capacity as a person soully based on the strength of your character, and your actions that reinforce that.

I don't know you, but if you're honest enough to put yourself and your feelings out there, then clearly whatever prejudice exists without getting to know you further is already debunked.

 

[Chuman]

Let me say this bluntly: I don't know you very well. At all. However, what I do know of you seems to be a fine impression. You're a good person from what I've seen. You like to joke, which paints you as a more comedic person (obviously), so I think you're a cool person. Hell, even though you left me creepy messages on Xbox Live and gave me colorful (at least one) a username a while back, it's all in the past and does not effect you today.

 

[Ehres]

Let me say this bluntly: I don't know you very well. At all. However, what I do know of you seems to be a fine impression. You're a good person from what I've seen. You like to joke, which paints you as a more comedic person (obviously), so I think you're a cool person. Hell, even though you left me creepy messages on Xbox Live and gave me colorful (at least one) a username a while back, it's all in the past and does not effect you today.

Hah! Thanks... chihuahuaman? I think that's who you are. I could be wrong. Sorry about the name change. Sort of a dick move.

 

[limeadelily]

No, I don't think you are a horrible person at all! I don't know you very well, but I do know one thing. Horrible people do not think they are horrible, nor do they even consider the idea that they're doing something wrong. The fact that you looked inside yourself and are wondering if you need to make improvements tells me that you are a great person. Not a lot of people can do that...trust me. In this world, our good deeds go unnoticed, but I don't think that holds any reflection on yourself. It's just what happens at times. Keep it up.

 

[Ehres]

All right, guys, thanks for your support. Over and out.