Long story short, some very bad things have happened in my life.I simply do not trust people. I've dealt with a lot of it by myself. I also have social anxieties; I get severe panic attacks to the point that I can not breathe. I have tried to cut the harmful people and things from my life. (Which is not always easy.) I sometimes avoid my foster family during holidays. (It took a lot for me to be able to get over this.) I can't even hug my real siblings without freaking out. I have tried to build healthy relationships with them, but can only do so much. For a long time, my older sister teased me. Every time I wanted to talk to my sister, I felt like she never listened. Now we don't even speak to each other. I stayed a few days to visit last summer, something I do every couple of years. We barely spoke, even sitting across from each other. I only feel normal when I am around her. When we're apart, it feels like a huge part of me has been ripped out. I understand that she needs her own time, and time for her family.
A few weeks ago, I finally told my other sister about a lot of things that I've kept to myself. Secrets that even my best friends didn't know. Things she never knew. We regularly stay in contact, but we have only met once. For most of my life all I ever had of her was a photograph.
For a long time, both of them hated each other. It took a lot of work to get them to talk to each other.
Now I don't know what I can do to be closer to them.
I have tried so hard already, but don't know what else to do.
A few weeks ago, I finally told my other sister about a lot of things that I've kept to myself. Secrets that even my best friends didn't know. Things she never knew. We regularly stay in contact, but we have only met once. For most of my life all I ever had of her was a photograph.
For a long time, both of them hated each other. It took a lot of work to get them to talk to each other.
Now I don't know what I can do to be closer to them.
I have tried so hard already, but don't know what else to do.
