Fanfiction ► Cloud's Story -please tell me how you like it :D

[Bear]

Please tell me how you like my story

This is a fanfic of course,but please say what you think,dont be afraid to hurt my feelings,i think i might not be that good anyway,but please read this and see if im worthy of keeping it up here,thanks ;]

This story takes place 1 year before kingdom hearts,all the way up to kingdom hearts,its going to be about 10-14 chapters total,but we'll see how it goes first
and im going to wright it in parts of 3,so you guys get a chance to rate it better :]

It's about cloud,and how he got to Olympus Colliseum,and why he lost his memory,all of that =D

oh and 'me' is cloud



Chapter 1-Part 1-Where am I?

professer:Ah! your waking up!

me:Huh? Where am I?

professer:Well,your in my lab,at my home,Hollow Bastion

me:Wha? what's Hollow Bastion? Wait....Where's everyone?!

I get up slowly,and look around the dazed room

me:What did you do with them!

I reach for my sword,but it isnt there

professer:Hey! Your alright! you can move! Good. I will be needing your help!

me:Tell me where they are!

professer: ( confused look on his face) Who is 'they'?

me:Barret! Vincent! Yuffie,RedX! Cid! Tifa....

professer:Ah! you mean Cid and Yuffie!Oh,you knew Tifa...I'm sorry she didnt make it..We lost her two days ago.

me:What do you mean you lost her?!

Cloud goes to grasp his neck.

me: TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED TO HER

professer:Kimahri!

Kimahri:You no disobey!

A strange creature grabbed my arm before

my first reached the professer's mouth

me: (Struggling to get free) Let go!

A sharp needle went into my left arm,and I dozed off,and colapsed.

Kimahri:Where he go,Ansem?

Ansem:Take him to the others,before he wakes up and kills me!

Kimahri took Cloud into the main library where Cid,Yuffie

and two other figures wait patiently

Cid & Yuffie:Cloud!

Cid:I knew he was alive,I told ya didnt I!

Yuffie:Umm,no you didnt,but what ever ya ol'geaser

Cid:Hey! Shut up with that geaser business!Cloud you okay?HE'S SLEEPING?!

Kimahri:Let him sleep,he needs rest for tommorow.

Two hours later I wake up,to find a scar faced figure looking down at me

Figure:He did all of that? pfft.No big deal I saved the world too,stop bragging.

me:Who...are you?

Figure:Ah.Blondie is awake.Me? My name is Leon.

me:Now someone please tell me what the hell happened!

Leon:Ansem saved you.like the rest of us,he rescued us from our dying worlds,from creature called Jenova.

me:Jenova? I dont remember anything except,a man in a black coat...and someone named Tifa..

Figure2:Cloud,do you remember me?My name is Zack,I was with you on the mako reactor mission.

me:What the hell are all you talking about!

I look around,and see a man with a red sash hanging from his right leg,and a big J like tatoo on his chest...


__________________________________________________ _______________Alright please tell me how you liked it,i think it went on too long,lol but that wont happen again,this will be the longest part in any chapter ;] and it will get alot more interesting

 

[Bear]

Chapter 1-Part 2

Where am I?

By BHKX






me : Tell me exactly what im doing here again?

Leon : A professer named Ansem found you in the Outer Life Stream,its almost like a worm

hole of energy in space.Me and you we're thrown into it somehow when our worlds were

destroyed,thus Ansem finding us during his field exercise.

me : Would the energy a cause of memory loss?

Ansem : Precisely what I was thinking,even though you have amnesea,you still remember

bits and peaces.Everything should come back over time.

me : And what am I supposed to do until then? This so called 'Sephiroth' has to be stopped.

If he destroys other worlds,then what would the result be? He could end up finding this

one,and destroying it as well.

Ansem : Well,just stay here and maybe we can speed up your recovery! I don't think it

would help much if you left,we could use a hand or two around the mansion.

me : Fine. I will stay for three months,then if you don't help me,then I'm gone you got that?

Ansem : Oh! this is so exciting! I will get to test many machinary!

me : Exciting is hardly the word,innocent people died.

Ansem : Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. I just want to help.

me : Whatever.I need some rest,where can I sleep?

Ansem : Yes,we should all sleep,everyone go down the hall,turn two rights,and pick a room.

Please make yourselves at home.


That night cloud had a very horrible nightmare.

A man in a black coat walking away,laughing,from a inflamed town.

Flashbacks from the man,and a deformed creature in a capsule.

The man was saying 'cloud...cloud.....I'm coming for you!'

Cloud woke up.

me : (yelling) Sephiroth!

Cloud got out of his bed,and walked down the hallway into the library.

Ansem : Where are you going?

me : He is still alive...Sephiroth.

Ansem : Well thats good new,and bad I suppose.

me : What do you mean?

Ansem : Good that my hypothasis is some what correct,that you will gain back you memory.

But bad ,your first one being a memory of the man who destroyed everything you came to

love and adore.

A memory flashed through clouds mind,very fast - Sephiroth was chanting,to somthing,a

creaturel,he was saying ''mother...awaken!Come jenova,let us be rulers of all living!''

me : Jenova! I must go,you must understand,I remember what he did to me.He will pay

with his currupted life.

Ansem : But remember that he was once like you..Huh? what is that on your neck? take off

your shirt,let me examine it!

me : Huh? Okay...

Cloud took his shirt off,find a stange purple substance on his chest and back,with a black

hole in the right side of his loser shoulder area.

me : What the hell?!

Ansem : Were you enjected with anything... do you remember?

me : no...wait..I...remember somthing about...

Another memory flashed through his head-A scientist enjecting a purple fluid into his arm.

scientist : Jenova cells injected.He will be just like sephiroth!!!

cloud came back around.

Ansem : What is it?

me : That bastard..He enjected me with Jenova's cells...

Ansem : This could be bad..If jenova is such a complex creature,maybe the cells cannot

withstand such a long period of the Outer Life Streams energy...It's having a reaction,let

me see it.

Ansem grabbed a needle from his lab coat,and stuck it in clouds back,where the black hole was.

Ansem : There,a sample. Now come,we will see what is happening with the cells.

me : Next time warn me,or i'll hurt you.

Cloud followed Ansem down the hall,down some stairs,another hall,then in a big door.
It was a lab.

Ansem : (as he walks over to a microscope) Okay,not we will see.

me : What is it doing?

Ansem : It's....I'ts dying..No! It's...Evolving!!!!

_____________________________________________________________________________Thats it for the Part two,hope you guys like this one,I'm not into action yet,there will be action in Chapter 1- Part 4,please tell me how you guys like it,thanks ;]

 

[Bear]

Oh and the thing I said about the 'longest part' I figured that I could do it like that all the time,so I could get it done faster,thanks

 

[Bear]

I will submit part 3 after people post what they think,if its mostly good,then I will continue

 

[NJMIgnatio]

Jenova Cells, huh? Nice Touch! Very interesting. Can't wait, must read pt.3!

A little sidenote: There is a button on the bottom-left of your posts. I't's called the "EDIT" button, and it lets you go back to your posts and annotate. The Mods get Pissy if you don't use it, and double post.

Keep up the Good Work! PM me for the next installment.

 

[Bear]

Alright I'll try to keep the Edit thing down,Thanks NJMIgnatio

Since I have had private messages about this thread,to keep going,then I will :]

Oh and remember that 'me' is cloud =]

Chapter 1-Part 3

me : Evolving?

Ansem : Yes! Evolving! I have never seen anything like this!

me : Well what ever it's doing,is it threatening? cause I have things to do.

Ansem : No,not for now,but in time it could become threatening.

me : How long?

Ansem : Could be,3 years from now

me : Ansem...How long was I in the life stream?

Ansem : Oh,about eleven months.

me : Why didn't you say so! I have to stop him now!

Red Sashed Figure : I'm going with you.

me : No,no one is coming with me,no one else dies.

Red Sashed Figure : I have a score to settle also,he didn't destroy only your world.

me : Fine. Ansem,How do we get out of here?

Ansem : So..You really are leaving?

me : Yes,Sephiroth will never stop untill he is dead. He might not even have a heart

anymore...

Ansem : So you knew him before the World Destructions?

me : Yes,but I will tell you about it later,right now me and...I'm sorry I didn't catch your

name?

Red Sashed Figure : The name's Jecht.

me : Ansem how do we leave?

Ansem : Down the hall...turn two lefts..and go threw the big red door,thats where my ship

is.

me : Thank you Ansem.

Jecht : C'mon let's go already!

Cloud and Jecht start towards the hallway.

Ansem : Wait,There is a world,it is writtin down in the control pannel of the ship,it's a place

called Twilight Town. Go there,I heard that there was survivers found there too.

me : Alright.

Cloud and Jecht head down the hallway and make their way to the red door,they open it to find a ship

me : This must be it.

Jecht : Well..since its the only ship here,I guess so..

me : Alright Lets go.

Cloud and Jecht hop in the ship.

Jecht : Hey! That's my seat,theres no way in hell im letting you drive!

me : Fine,drive just hurry up.

Jecht : Alright! eh cloud?

me : Yes?

Jecht : Which button do you errr...suppose is go?

me : .....Just press the green one I guess.

Jecht pressed it,then a voice started speaking.

Computer : Hello,Where would you like to go?

me : Twilight town.

Computer made some beeping noises and lifted off the clamps elevating the ship from the ground.

Computer : Co-ordenance found,Departure in five...four....three...

me : Hold on..

Computer : Two...One...Life off.

A huge door opened in front of them,and the ship glided past,they were in space.

Computer : Destination will be reached in T-minus 2 hours.

me : Alright,I didnt get much sleep so I'm going to doze off for a bit.

Jecht : Heh..Night.

me : Jecht do me a favor..

Jecht : And whats that?

me : Don't touch anything.

Jecht : Pfft. Fine.

Cloud dozed off. About half hour later He started having flashbacks again.

Sephiroth : You can't defeat mother. She is superior.

Cloud : Sephiroth! Please! Why are you doing this?!

Spehiroth : Your people ruined the Ancients lives,now they will pay with their lives!

Cloud : No!!!!

Cloud was awoken by Jecht.

Jecht : Hey you okay? You were squirmin' around like a worm. Bad dream?

me : No,not a dream..A memory.

Jecht : Oh,your remembering things already? Well thats good,but what kind of memory was

it?

me : It was about sephiroth and myself.

Jecht : You knew him?

me : Yes. I was working with him when he went crazy.It turns out he was from a bloodline

of an Ancient race,called the Cetra. And they all died. He blamed the people of earth for

that. He blamed their ancestors for killing off the race.

That's when he decided to make Earth pay,and kill everyone on it.

Jecht : I guess thats why he destroyed our planet too. Was to kill us off.

me : Yes,I guess so.

Jecht we're almost there,another twenty minutes or so!

me : Alright,I'm ready.

Jecht : Yeah,I can't wait to get my hands on this guy ''Sephiroth''

me : He is strong.dont underestimate him,he almost killed me.

Jecht : Don't worry about that,I think I've learned my lesson.

me : I don't want to hear the story right now,but maybe later. We're here.

Computer : Landing preparation engaged.

The ship Hit the worlds atmosphere,and began to land.
The doors opened up,then Cloud and Jecht climbed out

me : be quiet..do you hear that?

Jecht : What? What?!

me : shh...

A woman crying for help

Woman : Help!!! The monster is killing everyone! Help!!!

me : Sephiroth!!!!

Cloud started to run after the voice.

Jecht : Wait up!

Cloud found the woman,barrely alive.

Woman : It...Killed every...thing..uhh

She passed in clouds arms.

Jecht : Is she..

me : Dead.

Cloud looked around the corner of a building,the world was covered with them.

me : It's not Sephiroth! It's Jenova!

Jecht : Wha? Whatever it is,Let's kill it!

Cloud pulled out his sword. Ansem kept it safe for him,it was cracked all over,But Ansem raped it in bandages,for it to hold.

me : We meet again Jenova.

Jecht grabbed his sword.

Cloud jumped at Jenova,holding his sword above his head,about to strike.

Jecht : You hit him high,I'll hit him low!

me : This time nothing of you willl be left!

Cloud Slashes at Jenova,his sword sticking in its one of two heads.

Jecht : My turn!

Jecht stabs jenova in the chest.Blood spurted out onto Jecht.

Cloud Pulled out his sword,and climbed up to the main head,He Stabbed him in the forhead,
Blood Spraying everywhere.

me : Feel it?! The pain you caused my planet,and it's people! Do you!?

Cloud Twisted his sword,pulled it out,and cut the head off,jumpin down to the ground,Jenova Falling behind him.

Jecht : ( Wiping blood off of himself ) You okay?

me : I'm fine.

Jecht : Nice work! A little bloody,I'd try to avoid that next time eh?

me : Whatever,let's just find sephiroth.

Cloud looks up to see a man that looks exactly like sephiroth,except with shorter,and even more silver hair.

me : Sephiroth!





Alright thats the end of part-3,thanks for reading,please post what you think,I would appreciate good or bad ,Thanks : D

 

[Niwa]

I like it now post more