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Help/Support ► Confusing girl issue



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Sacred X

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EDIT: This is a long shitstorm. The last couple of paragraphs are what matter most I guess.

I was debating with myself if I should post this or not, but decided to go along with it. This might be long, but please bear with me.

I was looking at KHI threads and threads at another forum I go two revolving around various girl issues. I enjoy reading these sentimental threads. Well on one of them, involving how to ask a girl out, one of the guys said something along the lines of
Divest (other forum) said:
Just ask her on a date. Just make sure you make it clear it's a date so none of you waste time trying to figure out what it is when you're together. . .
or something like that. What I got from this, and I'm not sure if he said this, was "Want to go out on a date?" or something along those lines.

I was surprized when I heard that because I was thinking "Does that work? That doesn't work. But this guy usually seems to be so accurate. Yet, he might be being sarcastic." This guy was a very reputable member, and after reading more posts I realized he was serious. Still in disbelief, I decide to try it out.

At work (I work at Target and I'm a Cashier), I was luckily placed next to a girl whom I occasionally talk to. Not much, but occasionally, and I was also one of her Facebook friends. Thing is, this girl is attractive. From what I noticed, not just to me, but just generally attractive. Trying not to be a pessimist, but I think I'm a nerd. I've played MMORPGs in the past, play videogames, spend lots of time on the computer. You know, not your average jock. Anyway whenever I talk to her, she usually pays attention, contributes, smiles, laughs, et cetera. Basically the talks aren't bad. You know, bash how crappy the job can be and yadda.

Anyway after a while when I found an opening, she was telling me how she's going back to CT (different state) to return to college. I asked her something along the lines of "You're leaving on Sunday, right?" She says yeah, and I say "Want to go out on a date before you leave?" And she casually says "Sure. Do you have my number?" I tell her I don't, and she gives it to me. We talk a bit more after, not about the date, but just of other random crap, and we leave.

At first I'm happy. I'm like "Wow, did that just happen?" If you hadn't noticed, I'm not used to asking out girls. I've tried maybe a few times in the past couple of years, and dated one or two as well, though that was only because I knew them in pretty forced situations. This girl, although a co-worker, wasn't as forced since we both work at random times and random places, so it's never definate we'd see eachother. Anyway, I'm happy at first. Then I begin to think "Wait, I'm just some random guy. She's an attractive girl. People like me aren't supposed to get such attractive girls when we know so little about eachother" and related. I know one date doesn't mean boyfriend-girlfriend or anything close to it, just surprized I got that far. Was expecting to fail.

Anyway I get home, and I call her around the time I told her I would. She doesn't pick up. I leave her a message. Few minutes later, I send her a Facebook message asking her if I got the phone number right, since she verbally gave it to me over noise. She messaged me back saying it was right, but her phone was downstairs charging. I tell her to call me back when she's ready or something. About 10-20 minutes later, I realize I have her AIM too and I've talked to her on AIM before. After debating with my friends if I should IM her or not, I did.

I IM her, short small talk, ask her what she wanted to do. She's like "i dont care whatever lol", I ask if there's any movies she wants to see, she said she wasn't sure and she'd check. I told her what some of the current top movies were, and told her to tell me if anything catches her eye, and she agrees. Now here's the fun part. About 20 minutes later, I decided that was enough time, and I IM her. The second I IM her, I see that she is typing. If you don't know what that means, it means either she X'd out of my box and I interuppted her typing to someone else, or she just happened to start typing when I did. I'm going with the prior. The IM was "I was thinking Gran Torino", and she says "lol yea thats fine". I ask her if she think she'll be free on the days I told her (Thursday Friday) and she said she was going to a party on one day and may babysit on the other so she wasn't sure. At that moment I confirm she's playing with me and probably won't even show up. My friends pressure me to not give up. I then realize I do have some time after Saturday, so I tell her I'm free after 6pm Saturday and wait for her to make an excuse. Except she doesn't. She says that's fine. Eventually the convo ends with me saying I'll talk to her Friday night.

What do you think, is this girl just going to make me arrive and not show up, or is she just not putting emphisis on it yet being truthful to her words?

Also to note, I recently received a Friend Invite from one of her friends on Facebook whom I have NEVER met before. I have no idea why I'm getting this request as this girl doesn't know me and I don't write on Ashley's wall. (Ashley = girl I asked out) The only way she could have gotton my name is if Ashley told her about me. What do you think this means? I left a comment on her wall asking who she was, though no responce yet.

Anyway I know I typed up a shitstorm, so the last 2 or 3 paragraphs are the only ones that matter I guess.

Thanks to anyone who bothered reading a thing and responds with their interpretation.
 
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Taylor

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I don't exactly understand where you're reaching a troublesome problem. Like you said, it isn't mean to be a serious "boyfriend-girlfriend" relationship, and she's probably viewing the date in the same way as you. I think you're just worrying a little too much, brah. It's expected, as you appear to have somewhat low self-confidence and you think she's attractive, so it's only natural. Don't worry about it, man. I'm sure she'll show up. And if she doesn't, she's leaving for college on Sunday anyway, so if she does ditch on you, there's absolutely nothing you can really do unless you AIM her.

My overall advice? Just calm down. I realize you're probably very nervous about the date, whether you recognize it or not. It'll be just dandy. =D
 

Sacred X

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Yeah, I am putting a lot of emphasis. I'm still in shock, you can say. I just hope it's not too noticable to not freak her out or anything. I believe I kept my cool towards her so far.

What puzzled me most was if she's going to show up, and what the deal is with this unknown friend of hers.
 

Taylor

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Well, I would assume that if she told her friend about you then you have absolutely nothing to worry about it. Maybe she's just as nervous as you and she just hides it better?
 
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Kegluneq

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I was stood up at my first concert. I guess it wasn't really a date because she was bringing her guy friend with her but turned out that very girl who did stand me up I would have numerous complications with in the future. All I wanted was a one on one relationship, that's all. Proof that those who stand you up aren't worth the time to begin with.
 

Sacred X

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I was stood up at my first concert. I guess it wasn't really a date because she was bringing her guy friend with her but turned out that very girl who did stand me up I would have numerous complications with in the future. All I wanted was a one on one relationship, that's all. Proof that those who stand you up aren't worth the time to begin with.

Ouch. Well yeah, you guys are right in saying just go for it, and if she doesn't show up then she's not worth it. Wasn't planning on talking to her again if she does that anyway.
 

Lycanthrope

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You just gotta play it cool. You're overreacting as if she hates you or something. Usually if a girl wouldn't want to go out with you, she'd say so.

As for the friend request, it likely means the girl was just talking about you, which usually is a good sign.
 

Gatorade

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Just go. What's the worst that'll happen? You'll decide that she won't show up and then you go home. Not a big deal.

But I think she'll show up. I recently had a girl like that who was very uncaring and indecisive and everything worked out. Just keep working your mojo.
 

Aegis

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Dude, slow down on the talking to her. Leaving the message should've been the last thing that you did. I know how someone can get panicky, but trying to get to her so much can be odd. Slow it down.

Also, don't' think "a guy like you" can't get a "girl like her". That's bullshit. There is no true boundaries. Horrible fabrications. If you want her, go for her, it's as simple as that. It's scary, but sometimes the best things in life are. Also, try not to worry too much about it all. It's not a huge deal; you're only making it out to be.
 
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