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Desire



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ZanexChaos

New member
Joined
Apr 11, 2009
Messages
175
Age
29
This is a song I wrote recently.

Why did you lie?
You said you tried to cool the fire
But really just fed your desires

Said you'd be with me
But you're not here
Going insane
As you strive for personal fame
Bright eyes, innocent smile
It was all fake
Trusting in you was a mistake

Why did you lie?
You said you tried to cool the fire
But just fed your desires

Nothing could ever be the same
Hurt on the inside, watching you gain
What you think is special, so unique
Gaining it all through impressive little sneaks
Trying to create a perfect mental state
Perhaps all of this pain was simple fate

Why did you lie?
You said you tried to cool the fire
But just fed your desires
 

Annoyance

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Song lyrics now go in Poetry, by the way.

I'm having trouble seeing the emotion in these lyrics without an actual voice. What I see is good but seems to be missing something. I can't put my finger on it. I'm just bad at reading lyrics. I apologize.
 

pwninator

New member
Joined
Oct 27, 2006
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178
Good lyrics structure, not too complicated or drawn out. I'm also trying to work on some songwriting, do you play an instrument?
 

Reverie

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This is a really good song; the lyrics flow very well. Nice job!
 

Kiwi +

Push Ethan Page!
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Pretty great song...be cool to hear it...
 

Professor Ven

The Tin Man
Joined
Jun 12, 2006
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Slothia
I think it's NOMMY! :D; I too would also want to hear an audio of this, since it seems free-flowing, and fits together very nicely.
 
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