lol thats hilarious!
Fanfiction ► Destiny Islands Reality Show!
- Thread starter Don Patch
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CS Episode: 2; The Weakest Link Round 2.
Namine: *british accent* Welcome back to the Weakest Link, in a ten second round, Sora has been eliminated. Now... in the last round, you have banked an astoundingly high total of... zero dollars and zero cents. Now here's round two.
me: Marluxia!
Marluxia: Yes?
me: Now... if the slope of a ramp is 3/8cm, what are the measurements of the x-axis?
Marluxia: Um... uh... wait... um...
me: I'm sorry, um... uh... wait.. um... is not the correct answer. As punishment...
Marluxia: Wait... *is then grabbed by mechanical arms and is strapped to a chair* What are you going to do to me!
Kisaragi: I'm going to try out my invention: 'Mr. Instant Comfort Massager Test Model. *presses the evil button*
Marluxia: Phew... that's a relief.
Boxing gloves attached to mechanical arms then start punching Marluxia in many random places especially in the back.
Kisaragi: Now stay still and relax...
Marluxia: Augh!! Ow! My spleen!
Kisaragi: Relax and you will feel .45347261957281652847265826482618% less of the pain.
*After the treatment*
Marluxia: I'm still alive...
Namine: *british accent* Now... due to unknown circumstances, and the fact that we need to end this show quickly... we will knock out everyone but two people. Now... to settle this, we will play...............Rock Paper Scissors!
Everyone: *anime fall*
Namine: But don't worry, you will still get to test Ms. Kisaragi's new inventions!
Audience: Yay.
After minutes of rock paper scissors, acid baths, plushies, and... um... let's see... where are my lines? Oh here they are...
*wind blows by*
Oh god! My lines!! Oh dear oh dear oh dear! I'm sorry Mr. Director, I'm sorry Mrs. Producer, I'm sorry all those families watching this at home! I'm So SO-
BONK! CLANK! BASH! GOOGLE!
Kisaragi: Nuisiance Annihilator Device Ver. 5.4
me: You hit her with a basin...
Namine: Now... after the quick eliminations... KH Tifa and Cloud are left.
Cloud: What why me!?!?!
Namine: Well... your question was: What is the next thing you would say?
Cloud: Wait... *points finger at me* You did this didn't you!?!
me: *sticks tongue out* Just you wait Cloudy-kun... win or lose... I still get to hunt you down.. *brandishes axe and laughs evilly*
Namine: Now.. whoever buzzes in first and gets the question right will win the amount of... $50!
me: Here's the question! What game is the character... Barrett from?
Cloud and Tifa: *slow motion dive towards the buzzer*
Offstage
Kaze *who was conviently removed from the show because of a certain someone's kind donation of $200,000*: Why are they moving so slow?
Yuffie *who was also conviently moved because she's hot... uh I mean... ah dammit*: Hey! Move faster!
*Both move faster, but someone on the sidelines casts slow on Cloud causing Tifa to get it right. Right now I'm too lazy to go into details because who cares who wins this dumb gameshow*
After the show...
me: Cloudy-kun... where ARE you?
Commentary
Tifa: You know I sorta feel sorry for Cloud, being hunted down and his life being made a total hellhole by a 14 year old boy... but who cares~! Cuz I just won $50 baby! WHOO!
End of commentary
Cloud: *runs down a hallway and opens the door to find a room where Riku is in front of a TV... watching spanish soap operas*
Riku: *holding a box of tissues* Esmerelda no! That man only wants you for the money you inherited from you father who tragically dies in a car accident which was actually caused by your evil twin sister by hired a hit and run driver. Thus causing the money to pass on to you, and she uses Jack, her boyfriend, to marry you then divorce you, allowing the money to flow into her hands!
On the TV
Preacher dude *in spanish*: Will you, Esmerelda, take this young man as your lawfully wedded husband.
Esmerelda *also in spanish*: I d-
Axel: *His car barges into the set and he comes out of a car wearing... a ski mask and a sign that says "I'm not Axel" written on it* MUAHAHA!
Axel bashes Esmerelda over the head with a whiskey bottle.
Esmerelda: *on the floor... twitching*
Narrator *still spanish*: Esmerelda has fallen! Who is this mysterious assailant? What will happen to the inheritence now that Esmerelda has fallen? Who will be the new main character for this soap opera? Find out next week on <insert title here>
Out of the TV
Riku: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! *finally notices Cloud* W-wait! Cloud this isn't what it looks li-
SLAM! The door was slam as Cloud has a disturbed look on his face, forgetting about...
me: Cloudy-kun...
Cloud: Someone save me...
????: Fear not! I shall save you!
To be continued.
Preview!
Dark: Okay then! Next time on DIRS! I will be taking the spotlight on this episode!
Kairi: So what happens to Cloud?
Dark: Well... yeah we'll find that out too...
Kairi: Anyway, since Kisaragi was only a one-day teacher, she'll be leaving and we'll be having a new teacher!
Everyone: Thank god!!
Kisaragi: But remember... I'll be back *falls out of the window backwards and lands Matrix style*
Dark: Yup she will be. But now... I'll be putting on my tutor outfit and being teacher for the day!
Fangirls: *perk up and pay attention to this fic*
Yuffie: Next episode: Happy! Cloud's Savior and Teacher Dark!
Sora*who is alive*: Hey! You're ending this on a cliffhanger!
Kisaragi: Cliffhangers are for weenies. *falls out window again*
Dark: Now repeat after me... I will watch the next episode.
____________________________________
Well that's it for today! And guess who I'm using as his savior!
C'mon guess!
Namine: *british accent* Welcome back to the Weakest Link, in a ten second round, Sora has been eliminated. Now... in the last round, you have banked an astoundingly high total of... zero dollars and zero cents. Now here's round two.
me: Marluxia!
Marluxia: Yes?
me: Now... if the slope of a ramp is 3/8cm, what are the measurements of the x-axis?
Marluxia: Um... uh... wait... um...
me: I'm sorry, um... uh... wait.. um... is not the correct answer. As punishment...
Marluxia: Wait... *is then grabbed by mechanical arms and is strapped to a chair* What are you going to do to me!
Kisaragi: I'm going to try out my invention: 'Mr. Instant Comfort Massager Test Model. *presses the evil button*
Marluxia: Phew... that's a relief.
Boxing gloves attached to mechanical arms then start punching Marluxia in many random places especially in the back.
Kisaragi: Now stay still and relax...
Marluxia: Augh!! Ow! My spleen!
Kisaragi: Relax and you will feel .45347261957281652847265826482618% less of the pain.
*After the treatment*
Marluxia: I'm still alive...
Namine: *british accent* Now... due to unknown circumstances, and the fact that we need to end this show quickly... we will knock out everyone but two people. Now... to settle this, we will play...............Rock Paper Scissors!
Everyone: *anime fall*
Namine: But don't worry, you will still get to test Ms. Kisaragi's new inventions!
Audience: Yay.
After minutes of rock paper scissors, acid baths, plushies, and... um... let's see... where are my lines? Oh here they are...
*wind blows by*
Oh god! My lines!! Oh dear oh dear oh dear! I'm sorry Mr. Director, I'm sorry Mrs. Producer, I'm sorry all those families watching this at home! I'm So SO-
BONK! CLANK! BASH! GOOGLE!
Kisaragi: Nuisiance Annihilator Device Ver. 5.4
me: You hit her with a basin...
Namine: Now... after the quick eliminations... KH Tifa and Cloud are left.
Cloud: What why me!?!?!
Namine: Well... your question was: What is the next thing you would say?
Cloud: Wait... *points finger at me* You did this didn't you!?!
me: *sticks tongue out* Just you wait Cloudy-kun... win or lose... I still get to hunt you down.. *brandishes axe and laughs evilly*
Namine: Now.. whoever buzzes in first and gets the question right will win the amount of... $50!
me: Here's the question! What game is the character... Barrett from?
Cloud and Tifa: *slow motion dive towards the buzzer*
Offstage
Kaze *who was conviently removed from the show because of a certain someone's kind donation of $200,000*: Why are they moving so slow?
Yuffie *who was also conviently moved because she's hot... uh I mean... ah dammit*: Hey! Move faster!
*Both move faster, but someone on the sidelines casts slow on Cloud causing Tifa to get it right. Right now I'm too lazy to go into details because who cares who wins this dumb gameshow*
After the show...
me: Cloudy-kun... where ARE you?
Commentary
Tifa: You know I sorta feel sorry for Cloud, being hunted down and his life being made a total hellhole by a 14 year old boy... but who cares~! Cuz I just won $50 baby! WHOO!
End of commentary
Cloud: *runs down a hallway and opens the door to find a room where Riku is in front of a TV... watching spanish soap operas*
Riku: *holding a box of tissues* Esmerelda no! That man only wants you for the money you inherited from you father who tragically dies in a car accident which was actually caused by your evil twin sister by hired a hit and run driver. Thus causing the money to pass on to you, and she uses Jack, her boyfriend, to marry you then divorce you, allowing the money to flow into her hands!
On the TV
Preacher dude *in spanish*: Will you, Esmerelda, take this young man as your lawfully wedded husband.
Esmerelda *also in spanish*: I d-
Axel: *His car barges into the set and he comes out of a car wearing... a ski mask and a sign that says "I'm not Axel" written on it* MUAHAHA!
Axel bashes Esmerelda over the head with a whiskey bottle.
Esmerelda: *on the floor... twitching*
Narrator *still spanish*: Esmerelda has fallen! Who is this mysterious assailant? What will happen to the inheritence now that Esmerelda has fallen? Who will be the new main character for this soap opera? Find out next week on <insert title here>
Out of the TV
Riku: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! *finally notices Cloud* W-wait! Cloud this isn't what it looks li-
SLAM! The door was slam as Cloud has a disturbed look on his face, forgetting about...
me: Cloudy-kun...
Cloud: Someone save me...
????: Fear not! I shall save you!
To be continued.
Preview!
Dark: Okay then! Next time on DIRS! I will be taking the spotlight on this episode!
Kairi: So what happens to Cloud?
Dark: Well... yeah we'll find that out too...
Kairi: Anyway, since Kisaragi was only a one-day teacher, she'll be leaving and we'll be having a new teacher!
Everyone: Thank god!!
Kisaragi: But remember... I'll be back *falls out of the window backwards and lands Matrix style*
Dark: Yup she will be. But now... I'll be putting on my tutor outfit and being teacher for the day!
Fangirls: *perk up and pay attention to this fic*
Yuffie: Next episode: Happy! Cloud's Savior and Teacher Dark!
Sora*who is alive*: Hey! You're ending this on a cliffhanger!
Kisaragi: Cliffhangers are for weenies. *falls out window again*
Dark: Now repeat after me... I will watch the next episode.
____________________________________
Well that's it for today! And guess who I'm using as his savior!
C'mon guess!
lol thats great!
Ooh, lemme guess!!
...
*suspense*
ME!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! *glomps Cloud* CLOUDY-WOLF!! I SHALL SAVE YOU!! NEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!! *twitches spazzmatically*
*ahem*
Updart, Poptart. =D
...
*suspense*
ME!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! *glomps Cloud* CLOUDY-WOLF!! I SHALL SAVE YOU!! NEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!! *twitches spazzmatically*
*ahem*
Updart, Poptart. =D
- Joined
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Me: Poor... Cloud.. 
... but on other news, YAY!!!! TIFA WAS IN IT!!! =^_^=( I had a VERY bad obsession with her for just awhile )
... but on other news, YAY!!!! TIFA WAS IN IT!!! =^_^=( I had a VERY bad obsession with her for just awhile )Shinta: HOW MUCH LONGER IS HE GONNA SULK!
Atnihs: Who?
Shinta: HIM!*pointing at me in the corner while kicking me*
Atnihs: Oh him.No clue.
Atnihs: Who?
Shinta: HIM!*pointing at me in the corner while kicking me*
Atnihs: Oh him.No clue.
By the way... most of the ideas and quotes I got from the anime Happy Lesson... so just wanted to show a disclaimer. And wait...
Sora: *notices Atnihs' group and notices a sulking person* Hey what's wrong with him?
Shinta; No idea really...
Kairi: So... somethings wrong with Antihs...
Other Atnihs: But I'm right over here...
Kairi: No not you Atnihs, I mean Atnihs...
Other Atnihs: But I'm over here... kicking Atnihs... *continues kicking*
Mini (Or not so mini) Episode 1: Daijoubu? What's Wrong with Atnihs?
Atnihs 1: *sulking*
Atnihs 2: He's been like this for hours...
Riku: *pokes Atnihs 1 with a stick* So... what's wrong?
Shinta: Don't know, but I'm guessing he's just sulking...
Kairi *in a doctor's outfit*: My diagnosis as a professional doctor says that he has a case of FFSS.
Everyone: FFSS?
Kairi: Fan Fiction Sulking Syndrome... a classic syndrome that occurs after hreading a fanfic and feeling dangerously high amounts of emotion.
Everyone: Oh...
Kairi: The cure is comepletly random... *changes out of outfit* So let's keep trying!
Remedy 1...
Kisaragi: I think I'll apply... this medicine... *holds a vial of mystery silver liquid and forces it down Atnihs 1's throat*
Atnihs 1: *falls over, still sulking, and now unconscious*
Kairi: Great... now we need to wake him up... NEXT!
Remedy 2...
Namine: A nice ice cold bath always makes me feel better when I'm down!
Minutes later...
Everyone has a hairdryer and is trying to defrost Atnihs...
To be continues later in the mini-series.
Preview!
Kairi: Sorry! About avoiding the episode of the previous preview!
Riku: We just felt like doing this one, or rather... CS did..
Kairi: Hey... where is CS anyway?
They find CS watching downloaded fansubs of Naruto this whole time... mouth stuffed with popcorn.
me: Waff?
Riku: Resuming next episode: Cloud's Savior and Teacher Dark!
????: Cloud my darling... I shall save you!!!
___________________________
Sorry... felt like doing that... it's short... Well... see ya tommorow!
Sora: *notices Atnihs' group and notices a sulking person* Hey what's wrong with him?
Shinta; No idea really...
Kairi: So... somethings wrong with Antihs...
Other Atnihs: But I'm right over here...
Kairi: No not you Atnihs, I mean Atnihs...
Other Atnihs: But I'm over here... kicking Atnihs... *continues kicking*
Mini (Or not so mini) Episode 1: Daijoubu? What's Wrong with Atnihs?
Atnihs 1: *sulking*
Atnihs 2: He's been like this for hours...
Riku: *pokes Atnihs 1 with a stick* So... what's wrong?
Shinta: Don't know, but I'm guessing he's just sulking...
Kairi *in a doctor's outfit*: My diagnosis as a professional doctor says that he has a case of FFSS.
Everyone: FFSS?
Kairi: Fan Fiction Sulking Syndrome... a classic syndrome that occurs after hreading a fanfic and feeling dangerously high amounts of emotion.
Everyone: Oh...
Kairi: The cure is comepletly random... *changes out of outfit* So let's keep trying!
Remedy 1...
Kisaragi: I think I'll apply... this medicine... *holds a vial of mystery silver liquid and forces it down Atnihs 1's throat*
Atnihs 1: *falls over, still sulking, and now unconscious*
Kairi: Great... now we need to wake him up... NEXT!
Remedy 2...
Namine: A nice ice cold bath always makes me feel better when I'm down!
Minutes later...
Everyone has a hairdryer and is trying to defrost Atnihs...
To be continues later in the mini-series.
Preview!
Kairi: Sorry! About avoiding the episode of the previous preview!
Riku: We just felt like doing this one, or rather... CS did..
Kairi: Hey... where is CS anyway?
They find CS watching downloaded fansubs of Naruto this whole time... mouth stuffed with popcorn.
me: Waff?
Riku: Resuming next episode: Cloud's Savior and Teacher Dark!
????: Cloud my darling... I shall save you!!!
___________________________
Sorry... felt like doing that... it's short... Well... see ya tommorow!
Somehow, I don't see myself as saying...'darling'. o.-; So, if it's Tifa and/or Aeris/Aerith, I WILL shoot something.
Preferably Sora. >.>;
Updart, Poptart.
Preferably Sora. >.>;
Updart, Poptart.
cool.
Atnihs:KILL RIKU!
HaHa that was great, i was really into it...then it ended...MORE!
Why hasn't Don Patch been doing the stories?
Not that I have a problem with your stories Clouds Shadow, yours are good too.
Not that I have a problem with your stories Clouds Shadow, yours are good too.
Well... Mr. Patch asked me to err... help for a while.
But why hasn't he been on here? I dunno... Sorry I can't be much help...
But why hasn't he been on here? I dunno... Sorry I can't be much help...
Well update soon, I'm getting bored of waiting.
Fine i'll guess i'll have to save the day...AGAIN. It gets so troublesome
Tidus: Ok guys your going to have to babysit my little brother for the night
Kairi: How old is he?
Tidus: Two
Sora: Well babysitting cant be to hard, you just throw them in bed and build up their parents cable bill.
Riku: Yep its like watching paint dry, Completley Fun and Completely free
Tidus: Yep but you'll have to watch him in your house
Kairi: Is everyone cool with that?
Everyone: yeppers
-the next night-
Tidus: Alright heres my little brother and, LATER!!!! -runs off- HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH
Everyone:?
Little Junior: He He He
Kairi: Arent you just the cutest little thing!
Riku: Girls, always falling for babies.
Sora: Yeah, im gonna get some soda.
-in the kitchen-
Sora: -grabs a full two liter of 7-up- Come on open! -twists the cap and it doesnt budge- COME ON!! -he holds it up to his eyes and finally opens it and the fizz sprays in his eyes.- AHHHHHHHH -he falls on the ground- MY EYES!!
Little Junior: -crawls on top of Sora- Go Go ga! -grabs a rolling pin off the ground and starts hitting Sora with it-
Sora: AHHHHHH THIS BABY IS KILLING ME!!!
Riku and Kairi: -They run in- Whats going on!
-Sora is hideing in a corner and Little Junior is rolling on the ground-
Riku: Sora your such a wimp
Sora: BUT HE HE!!
Little junior: ga ga gouey
Kairi: Shame on you Sora, blaming the baby for your wounds on your head because of a rolling pin that was set down near the baby to make it seem like he did it. Shame, Shame....
Riku: Yeah i cant believe your jealous of a baby.
Sora: YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME!!!
Everyone besides Sora: Hmph!
-later that night-
Riku and Kairi: -sleeping on a couch with the t.v on-
Sora: -is awake watching the t.v-
Little Junior: -holds up a toy Yoda Lightsaber-
Sora: ?
L J: -presses a button and it lights up-
Sora: ? ? ?
L J: -hits sora in the head with it-
Sora: OW! Thats it baby! -grabs a Count Dooku toy lightsaber and presses a button-
-they start having a lightsaber duel like the one in AotC, L-J's jumping around like Yoda and Sora is fighting cool like Dooku-
L-J: -hits Sora in the knees, and he falls down and starts wailing on him-
Riku and Kairi: -they wake up- Wha Wha? -they see L-J wailing on Sora- Little Junior! How dare you wail on Sora!
-a few seconds later-
L-J: -is tied together with tape and is shoved in a cannon- Gu Gu?
Sora: -fires the cannon and the baby flies away-
Riku: Sorry we didnt believe you before
Kairi: Yeah were sorry we didnt realize that Little Junior was out to get you.
Riku: But man you got beat up by a baby! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Kairi: HAAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH
Sora: Hey that baby was tough!
Kairi: Then that must mean your a weakling! AHHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHA
Tidus: -comes in- Alright im here for Little Junior
Sora: Sorry Tidus, but we launched him out of a cannon
Tidus: phew!
everybody: Wha!
Tidus: That baby kept beating me up so i couldnt get the chance, so you did what i wished to do! Well i guess that what happens when your mom dates a proffesinal hitman
Sora: HA I KNEW THERE WAS A EXPLANIATION!!
Riku: still, you got beat up by a two year old
everbody: -laughs at sora-
THE END
Tidus: Ok guys your going to have to babysit my little brother for the night
Kairi: How old is he?
Tidus: Two
Sora: Well babysitting cant be to hard, you just throw them in bed and build up their parents cable bill.
Riku: Yep its like watching paint dry, Completley Fun and Completely free
Tidus: Yep but you'll have to watch him in your house
Kairi: Is everyone cool with that?
Everyone: yeppers
-the next night-
Tidus: Alright heres my little brother and, LATER!!!! -runs off- HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH
Everyone:
?Little Junior: He He He
Kairi: Arent you just the cutest little thing!
Riku: Girls, always falling for babies.
Sora: Yeah, im gonna get some soda.
-in the kitchen-
Sora: -grabs a full two liter of 7-up- Come on open! -twists the cap and it doesnt budge- COME ON!! -he holds it up to his eyes and finally opens it and the fizz sprays in his eyes.- AHHHHHHHH -he falls on the ground- MY EYES!!
Little Junior: -crawls on top of Sora- Go Go ga! -grabs a rolling pin off the ground and starts hitting Sora with it-
Sora: AHHHHHH THIS BABY IS KILLING ME!!!
Riku and Kairi: -They run in- Whats going on!
-Sora is hideing in a corner and Little Junior is rolling on the ground-
Riku: Sora your such a wimp
Sora: BUT HE HE!!
Little junior: ga ga gouey
Kairi: Shame on you Sora, blaming the baby for your wounds on your head because of a rolling pin that was set down near the baby to make it seem like he did it. Shame, Shame....
Riku: Yeah i cant believe your jealous of a baby.
Sora: YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME!!!
Everyone besides Sora: Hmph!
-later that night-
Riku and Kairi: -sleeping on a couch with the t.v on-
Sora: -is awake watching the t.v-
Little Junior: -holds up a toy Yoda Lightsaber-
Sora: ?
L J: -presses a button and it lights up-
Sora: ? ? ?
L J: -hits sora in the head with it-
Sora: OW! Thats it baby! -grabs a Count Dooku toy lightsaber and presses a button-
-they start having a lightsaber duel like the one in AotC, L-J's jumping around like Yoda and Sora is fighting cool like Dooku-
L-J: -hits Sora in the knees, and he falls down and starts wailing on him-
Riku and Kairi: -they wake up- Wha Wha? -they see L-J wailing on Sora- Little Junior! How dare you wail on Sora!
-a few seconds later-
L-J: -is tied together with tape and is shoved in a cannon- Gu Gu?
Sora: -fires the cannon and the baby flies away-
Riku: Sorry we didnt believe you before
Kairi: Yeah were sorry we didnt realize that Little Junior was out to get you.
Riku: But man you got beat up by a baby! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Kairi: HAAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH
Sora: Hey that baby was tough!
Kairi: Then that must mean your a weakling! AHHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHA
Tidus: -comes in- Alright im here for Little Junior
Sora: Sorry Tidus, but we launched him out of a cannon
Tidus: phew!
everybody: Wha!
Tidus: That baby kept beating me up so i couldnt get the chance, so you did what i wished to do! Well i guess that what happens when your mom dates a proffesinal hitman
Sora: HA I KNEW THERE WAS A EXPLANIATION!!
Riku: still, you got beat up by a two year old
everbody: -laughs at sora-
THE END
Yay! The return of Don Patch!!!
That was great, update soon!
That was great, update soon!
WEEEEEE! That babie was ten times worse than my little bro, and the lightsaber fights are very painful.
For me. o.-;
Awesomeness! :3
For me. o.-;
Awesomeness! :3
kaze_krazy said:
Ditto
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That was hilarious. I love it.
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