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Ðari

Look at you, armor-less
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In the heat of the moment I stand alone
Loved ones dead, passed away and gone
Felt the weight of world, messed up n wrong

I fought through a sea of what felt like endless tears
Suffered for what scaled up through countless tiers
Swam through it all before I let myself drown in fear

Sad day in these times when your race is under fire
Protect & serve just another lie thats mete my ire
Don't need this anger but it's a constant reminder

[#TurnUp]

Because oh! I think it sucks, I think the world that we live in is pretty fucked
Wish that I could say that things are just, but justice doesn't work and I've had enough
I'm tired of crying, I'm tired of fear, I'm tired of false hope and losing people dear
I'm only twenty-seven I'm pretty geared, to drop a harsh truth on your little ears


[Headphones out, Eyes Up~]

You know something that I can never justify?
When people talk about how their afraid to die
My pasts is full so many lows, woes, and whys
Took so long to finally see some highs

But I mean hey I think I understand, maybe you should suffer at the hands of man
that work so hard but can never withstand, the sins of their actions that were never planned
How many more will we kill? How many more bodies left to satiate this ordeal
We're dealing with devils and its pretty real, bombs ready with Koreans, "big deal?"

I mean seriously man what the fuck
finally get to a point in life where i'm unstuck
Flash report a mass shooting in nevada and it's revving my gears
Praying desperately for the safety of my friends and family near



Author's Notes: This normally isn't my thing, but I couldn't stop writing recently, and there has been a lot of controversial shit going on, both in the media as well as several lives both lost and many injured. Here even in my state we had kids in a town over get abducted, and more and more incidents like this are becoming common, and I refused to be desensitized to shit like that in particular. Theres a lot of my own experiences in, whatever it is I was trying to write independent of whatever structure or scheme in play here, but I needed some kind of platform to speak on it. I hope it's not a complete mess, because after reading it over it sure as hell felt like a mess, because it was twisted leaving my fingers lol.d
 

Ðari

Look at you, armor-less
Staff member
Joined
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Messages
9,611
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Age
33
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Beyond the Final Destination
My Egregious Sins

If my sins were so egregious then I wouldn't be the person I am
If I hid my ferocity, lack of tact, and poor listening from this stance
As I stood up to many atrocities that hit me like the weight too heavy
Parents divorced, my nephew and grandparents passed and I wasn't ready

I felt nothing for many years, self destruction was all I knew
What more could I do? Love was all I never knew and turned shrewd
As prudently prude and arbitrarily I was quite rude
Insensitive to many pensive responses like "dude..."

My life collapsed on me, all I had was the internet audience and graphic talent
My facade behind a screen was a single face but my soul remained absent
I felt lifeless and hollow, my circumstances were destroying my self-esteem
I couldn't stomach a relationship, my own failed just like my early dreams

I'm a gemini, I'm multi-skilled, play CoD getting multi-kills instead of doing the work
I justified my pain by past trauma, added grievances and further prolonged my hurt
My suffering was bottomless and some say how I could you possibly bottle this?
I wear the darkness on the outside at all times and no one acknowledged it

I poured my heart into a woman I obsessed with for many years, only to fail
Years later she's still a trampoline bouncing other men through her sails
I find it petty to that I even held so much animosity but I sorted through that sea
Took a year too many before the burdens I carried were finally dissolved on me

When you learn to love yourself, never stop, become the hope you seek in others
become the God that abandoned you or never met, whichever's easier to bother
My sins are deep as the sea of pain I swam through to get here today
Heart relieved, fear still intact, this anxiety of whats next is here to stay

Authors Notes: Now...peer into the mind of Healing Vision! A lot has happened in about 11 years or so.
 

Ðari

Look at you, armor-less
Staff member
Joined
Dec 15, 2005
Messages
9,611
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Age
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Beyond the Final Destination
PSA:
I just want to make a note, that if you got something you want to say, say it here in a poetic form. You aren't being judged here, you aren't being criticized, it's perfectly OK to bleed. I want this thread to be an open forum for people to talk about something on their mind they couldn't divulge, or assess alone. Take it from a guy thats dealt with depression for about 4-5 years of his teens into early 20s. A divorce, several funerals of my own family some immediate and others distant family, and media deaths, and still remains empathetic and kind towards all walks of life save for certain few. For whatever you deal with, the simple fact that you continue to draw breath, push yourself hard, train, or even keep yourself up everyday says A LOT when compared to the many that gave up, quit, or allowed their circumstances to dictate the ebb and flow of their everyday lives.

P.S. I'm looking at you @Annoyance. You should write more too!

#SayWhatYouWantTo
 
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