Help/Support ► Eye Contact

[XIII Heartless]

I find it damn near impossible to look people in the eye....apparently, I've always been like this, but I've really only recently taken notice of it. Just seems weird to me. Any ideas why?

 

[Lancelot]

Do you worry about what said person may be thinking when you look at them?

 

[Unabomber]

serious face on.

Difficulty with eye contact

Some people find eye contact more difficult than others. For example, those with autistic disorders or social anxiety may find eye contact to be particularly unsettling.

i read into it a tad, and it seems that your inability to maintain eye contact may have something to do with earlier life experiences. maybe your parents never looked at each other, never looked at you or when they did they were angry. causing you to have some sort of problem with looking into peoples eyes.

on the social anxiety side.. maybe you've had issues with bullies in the past, and you fear people judging you.

eh whatever, i dont really know. just some ideas.

 

[XIII Heartless]

Do you worry about what said person may be thinking when you look at them?

Well....I'm extremely self-conscious. So that's a HELL YES. =/

serious face on.



i read into it a tad, and it seems that your inability to maintain eye contact may have something to do with earlier life experiences. maybe your parents never looked at each other, never looked at you or when they did they were angry. causing you to have some sort of problem with looking into peoples eyes.

on the social anxiety side.. maybe you've had issues with bullies in the past, and you fear people judging you.

eh whatever, i dont really know. just some ideas.

Well, my parents didn't get along, so that might be it....I'm over their failed relationship though (as over it as someone can be anyways), so somehow I don't think so.

 

[Mistearea]

Well, you could always just look the person right between the eyes. It's generally considered rude not to look into the eyes while talking to them, but doin' this will give the illusion that you are.

It's also a good place to start to work your way to the eyes. I had the same problem until shortly after I started doin' this.

 

[Crystal]

I had the same problem too last time.
But my solution would be try to communicate with peoples more, it can help you to gradually adapt in look into the eyes while talking.

 

[Silverslide]

It means that you lack confidence. If you can't look someone in the eye, and or it makes you uncomfterble, than that is why.

 

[Danica Syer]

Hmm.....my advice/suggestion that is if you're uncomfortable or don't have self-confidence, maybe you should look at their eyes but not for too long to the point it creeps the person out (if you get what I mean) and then look away. Kind of like how some people do so in a conversation. I do that too and it helps, you know a bit of both if that makes any sense. Hopefully that helps! Sorry if it doesn't.

 

[ROXAS_32]

Hmm.....my advice/suggestion that is if you're uncomfortable or don't have self-confidence, maybe you should look at their eyes but not for too long to the point it creeps the person out (if you get what I mean) and then look away. Kind of like how some people do so in a conversation. I do that too and it helps, you know a bit of both if that makes any sense. Hopefully that helps! Sorry if it doesn't.

^^Do this^^

i used to have a problem with eye contact too. i wasnt really self-conscious it was more that i found it rude to just stare into someones face while having a conversation. i broke the habit eventually, by just doing what's said above. you can always practice in the mirror too.

 

[CaptainMarvelQ8]

well if you mean you can't stare at people you're talking to,then that may be a problem
but if you mean you can't stare at people passing by,that's ok, because it would be creepy to do so

 

[XIII Heartless]

Hmm.....my advice/suggestion that is if you're uncomfortable or don't have self-confidence, maybe you should look at their eyes but not for too long to the point it creeps the person out (if you get what I mean) and then look away. Kind of like how some people do so in a conversation. I do that too and it helps, you know a bit of both if that makes any sense. Hopefully that helps! Sorry if it doesn't.

I can't even bear quick glimpses into someone's eyes, especially when they're looking at me.

well if you mean you can't stare at people you're talking to,then that may be a problem
but if you mean you can't stare at people passing by,that's ok, because it would be creepy to do so

I can't do either.

 

[Leonard]

That's just a very common part of human behavior. It's this "imaginary barrier" people build up around themselves because they're too afraid of negative impressions that might arise from how they interact with each other.
There are some who are over self-conscious, but I also know many people who don't give a rats ass around others. The latter normally come across as more natural and self-confident people. They are (from my experience) also the ones who manage to bond more easily with their friends.

I suggest you stop caring too much about what other people think of you and take the risk of doing something stupid now and then. You can do that in small steps, like trying to talk more naturally with others whenever you're outside shopping or grabbing something to eat from McDonald's. Then you try it with closer people, like friends or classmates, etc.
The point is, that if you never learn to kick that barrier, you'll forever be awkward around new people (and especially girls) that you meet, and never get beyond a certain distance to them. You'll never feel truly comfortable with anyone and they probably won't with you vice-versa.

Oh, and for the eye thing in particular, I've heard it also helps to look at their nose instead. People generally don't notice it, and it's probably less irritating for you. : )