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Help/Support ► Feelings for a Friend (advise?)



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Relix

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Ok. I never thought I'd have to ask for advise on this but the truth of the matter is...I really don't know what to do.

This girl has been my best lady friend for almost three years now and we've been ok friends for a year before that. We both just recently graduated from high school and during the last few weeks of school I realized that I have strong feelings for her. Really strong. I'm known for being blunt and speaking my mind but when it comes to things like this i'm a clam in a cage. Anyways, as the last day came around I tried desperately to tell her how I feel but I couldn't get my point across because of her friends crowding her like a pack of crying wolves. When we got our yearbooks she wanted to keep mine's till the end of the day so she could "write how she felt" in it and not another good bye, congrats, we made it comment. I asked her for hers so I could do the same.

I told her that i'd always be there for her, no matter what. that i would be what ever she wanted me to be and a whole bunch of other things but no actual line of "i love you".

When I get my yearbook back in the end of the day this is what she wrote:
It started out with how we met and how she thought I was a self righteous jerk back then but then she writes the following:
"You are so different from everyone else. When I catergorize people in my life you have your own catergory. your real and your not afraid to tell people how you feel...which i love. Don't change because you are fine the way you are. Just promise me you'd get more sleep (she knows I have insomnia). P.S. No one got me like you did."

I didn't share this with anyone because I don't want anyone talking about her or anything and I really didn't know what she meant.

I didn't know what to make of it all really. I am bad with stuff like this because I was in an unhealthy relationship and was emotional destroyed because of it. She was the one who helped me get my foot out of the grave and we've been close since. But after graduation, she's been ridiculously busy with college and work. We're going to different colleges and she lives in the town next to me. I take classes in the summer and she works like crazy. We haven't seen much of each other and text like once a day.

I really don't know what to do. I don't want to scare her off. I've done this about half a year ago when I began to flirt with her uncontrollably and was a total ass. But she forgave me and opened up to me again. I fear we may be growing apart and this has happened with many people, but I dont want it to happen to her. We have a lot in common even though she is way out of my league. She's wise, book smart, quiet, and shy, while I'm (according to her) deep, nice, and blunt. She's also open to my religion (Christianity). I know she can do better than me but what can I do?

I wouldn't have posted this if I wasn't serious about her so what do you guys think? should i just man up and dive head first into oblivion or take it slow? She's never been in a relationship before. :/
 

Princess of KH

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well you don't sound like you've just recently been flirting with her, so i wouldn't worry so much about it coming across wrong. if you really like her this much, i'd say tell her. even in a text, if that's all your lives will allow right now. my older brother confessed his feeling for his girl friend through texting because that's all his schedule would allow, and they're together now. shoot, he even told her he loved her through a text. she didn't care that he sent it in a text and didn't say it in person, because she knew they'd both be too busy with jobs and college to be able to talk alone. i'm sure your lady friend will get it too.
just be open and honest, however you tell her. personally, i think that if you're going to confess, you should choose a phone call over a text, but whatever you decide on wil be fine i'm sure.
even if you guys don't start 'dating' right away or even if she's not sure how she feels about you, i'd advise to just take things one step at a time. however things turn out, take it at a pace you're both comfortable with.
 

Relix

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well you don't sound like you've just recently been flirting with her, so i wouldn't worry so much about it coming across wrong. if you really like her this much, i'd say tell her. even in a text, if that's all your lives will allow right now. my older brother confessed his feeling for his girl friend through texting because that's all his schedule would allow, and they're together now. shoot, he even told her he loved her through a text. she didn't care that he sent it in a text and didn't say it in person, because she knew they'd both be too busy with jobs and college to be able to talk alone. i'm sure your lady friend will get it too.
just be open and honest, however you tell her. personally, i think that if you're going to confess, you should choose a phone call over a text, but whatever you decide on wil be fine i'm sure.
even if you guys don't start 'dating' right away or even if she's not sure how she feels about you, i'd advise to just take things one step at a time. however things turn out, take it at a pace you're both comfortable with.

Thanks for this. I guess I'll just tell her how I feel. I don't think she'll be to surprised. @ SoCrazyWoahYAH! Well you're pretty much saying the same thing so I'll go ahead and tell her. Thanks again
 

Princess of KH

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make sure to tell us how it goes, ok?
and coming from another Christian (that'd be me lol) make sure you're a good example of our religion/lifestyle (whatever you want to call it)! ;)
 

Norpthalomus

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You should just tell her. If she's as good a friend as she sounds like, even if by some chance she wasn't into you she would be nice about it.

I think she will definitely fall for you. Go for it, don't make the same mistakes myself and others have made. Do what feels right.

As some others have said, "The Truth will set you Free."

Let us know what happens. Hope my advice helps you.
 

Reflection

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that was so sweet I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit. LOL.

be honest, take it easy :3 I think it sounds like you guys are gonna be okay, if you get into a relationship. good luck!
 
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