Help/Support ► Friendly Problem

[Destiny's End]

Well, it's like this.

I have a lady friend that I really like. I've known since October when school started and I wanted to ask her out, but she had a boyfriend for most of the year. Then in late April, she broke up with her boyfriend and I both loved and hated it because she just broke up with her boyfriend and I can make my move, but she just broke up with him and getting her on the rebound isn't my style.

Here is where I think I messed up. My roommate offered to help me out, so he talked to her on Facebook that I liked her and whatever. Thing is, she doesn't know that I know she knows.

I got a Facebook to keep in touch with her over the summer and I don't know how to think. I don't know where to go from here. We already started chatting on Facebook, but where do I go from here.

Any advice on what to do next so that I don't mess up and not ruin our friendship?

 

[Lancelot]

First of all, do you actually live near her/go to school with her?

 

[Destiny's End]

First of all, do you actually live near her/go to school with her?

Yeah, we go to the same College and we're on the same Dance Team. I'm mad cool with her. We're good friends. I just wouldn't know how to deal with this.

As far as living, she lives in Jersey and I live in Long Island.

 

[Lancelot]

Well the fact that you're good friends always helps... All I could really say is perhaps just gradually make some little "moves" per ay, even though you know she knows... lol this will become a good tongue twister. But yeah, also because she doesn't know you know she knows, she might begin making hints/moves on you, so it's sort of a thing you should play by ear for now

 

[Danica Syer]

Hmm....well that's good that you guys are friends and talk on Facebook and all but if you don't like the rebound style why not wait awhile? I mean until your sure when to move or she is over the guy she borke up with. I would recommend keep trying to talk to her and get to know her better. You know, give it sometime to make sure she's comfortable with you and all. Not to mention that if your slower but not too slow, maybe she'll have time getting over the guy she broke up with. Good luck! That's all I know of right now. If I have anything else, I'll add to it.

 

[Shadow Soldier]

Good friends? Don't bother then. Girls who are good friends with guys always say the same thing "I don't want to ruin what we have and lose our friendship".

 

[Thor.]

Good friends? Don't bother then. Girls who are good friends with guys always say the same thing "I don't want to ruin what we have and lose our friendship".

Or worse, they DO go out with you.

 

[Shadow Fenix]

Good friends? Don't bother then. Girls who are good friends with guys always say the same thing "I don't want to ruin what we have and lose our friendship".

Exactly. Can't stand when they say that bullshit excuse, or worse, lie.
^That's not always a bad thing, just most of the time.

But my advice is actually talk with her in person. Friendships aren't the best if you guys never talk in person. That's why I rarely text people, I usually talk on the phone. But if you really wanna be more than friends with her, hang out with her more (in person) and see where it goes from there

 

[Aullen]

It's good that you're friendly but be careful not to wander into the "friend-zone" with her. Once you're there you can never get out -_-

 

[Destiny's End]

It's good that you're friendly but be careful not to wander into the "friend-zone" with her. Once you're there you can never get out -_-

Houston, we have a problem. That could be my problem.

 

[Shadow Soldier]

Houston, we have a problem. That could be my problem.

If it, then what you do is pick up some kleenex, go to a shop, pick up some lube.. and make yourself happy because if you're in that "friend only" zone, you're fucked.

 

[Shadow Fenix]

If you're really desparate, then you could just never give up hope and see how things turn. You never know what could happen

 

[Devious]

Be persistent. I was somehow able to go from the eternal friend zone into a form of friends-with-benefits. It wasn't intentional is the thing. Just harmless flirtation here and there. If you show that you have an intense interest then you can just keep up the flirtatious attitude. Keep it up and she'll come around man. Just don't agree to "I love our friendship" if it comes up. That has a possibility of deepening the corridor out.

 

[Destiny's End]

If you're really desparate, then you could just never give up hope and see how things turn. You never know what could happen

I'm not really desperate. I just us to be together. Is that asking too much maybe? Nowadays, all people do is hook-up.

Be persistent. I was somehow able to go from the eternal friend zone into a form of friends-with-benefits. It wasn't intentional is the thing. Just harmless flirtation here and there. If you show that you have an intense interest then you can just keep up the flirtatious attitude. Keep it up and she'll come around man. Just don't agree to "I love our friendship" if it comes up. That has a possibility of deepening the corridor out.

How do I be persistent without coming off as annoying? I don't want to scare her off.

 

[Lancelot]

^ He kinda answered that in his own explanation. Flirting here and there

 

[xenos24]

Hmm....well that's good that you guys are friends and talk on Facebook and all but if you don't like the rebound style why not wait awhile? I mean until your sure when to move or she is over the guy she borke up with. I would recommend keep trying to talk to her and get to know her better. You know, give it sometime to make sure she's comfortable with you and all. Not to mention that if your slower but not too slow, maybe she'll have time getting over the guy she broke up with. Good luck! That's all I know of right now. If I have anything else, I'll add to it.

DO THIS^

 

[Destiny's End]

Hey guys, I just thought I'd update everyone on the situation.

Ok, I took some advice from my people and I texted her one day and said my brother was planning a trip to Six Flags this summer and invited her along. She said she has season passes and was down to go whenever, so all I need to do is make a date and we're set. But the other part figures she's gonna cancel on me when I ask, so I'll throw a date to and if it ain't cool, I'll ask her when is good for her.

I had to take some hefty advice and did some things I'm not particularly proud of, but I'm doin what I can here.