Fanfiction ► Froad's Crap poems

[Candy Man]

Ultimatum
The choice to make now isn’t clear.
All the ways the boat may steer.
What it is, I find confusing.
Talents I may be abusing.
All the prowess of a sow

What is it I must do now?

Golden fleece, unto the slaughter.
Mother, Brother, Twin, and Daughter.
All the Fates that can be altered.
Narrow path that can’t be faltered.

Is this what’s to come?

Puppeteer once bathed in light.
New made beast without its sight.
Questions running through the night.

What’s left to be done?​

 

[Darkness Princess]

Froad, why did you title it Crap? Thats horrible...
The poem is pretty good.

 

[Daniel Faraday]

Does it mean anything? The meaning is just as important as the phrasing, and as far as I can tell all you did was piece together some words that sounded good together.

~Dorian Gray

 

[Miss Murder]

Schitzophrenia.

No wait.

Anyway ... it really doesn't have that much of a meaning. If only you can understand the meaning of your poems, then you'll never become a successful poet.

Your readers have to be able to both understand and relate to the meaning of your poems.

Other than that important tidbit, it's not half bad.

 

[Daniel Faraday]

I, uh, don't see anything you mentioned in the poem.

It sounds like a Tool song >>

~Dorian Gray

 

[Blue]

.....It's quite nice imo,and I do see a meaning.

 

[jazznam89]

I can see slight meanings though try practising writing poems that people might have an easy time understanding with different tones/themes.

 

[Miss Murder]

I was just trying to give constructive criticism.

Really, that's the best kind of way to support people.

If I just said, "OMFG!!! DIS IZZ UBER HAWWT AND AWESUM!!!!!!!!1212@!@!@" then you would never get any better, or even progress in the slightest.

But keep it up. Try to have meanings that people can understand and relate to. You can be a great poet if you do that.

 

[Candy Man]

Well, every diamond used to be a pile of shit.

I <3 constructive critisism.

 

[Thor.]

Schitzophrenia.

No wait.

Anyway ... it really doesn't have that much of a meaning. If only you can understand the meaning of your poems, then you'll never become a successful poet.

Actually lots of sucessfull poets are very very confusing and the true meaning can only be theorized. . . . .

It probably has a meaning. . . .Though knowing Froad it's meaning is probably so hidden in metaphors that it would take an hour of research and several hints. to understand. . . .

Also I disagree that you should umb-sown the poems.

If everyone could relate to and understand it then they could probably write it.

That's one reason I like to write about psychopaths. No one in their right mind relates. . . . .

Anyway my 2 cents. . . . .as it were. . . .

 

[Miss Murder]

But for most people, it's better to start with poems easily deciphered and related to by the reading audience.

... prolly.

 

[Thor.]

Well I disagree but. . . . . we're all entitled to opinions. . . . .

 

[jazznam89]

Well keep it up with the poetry Froad, find whatever suits your writing and thinking.

 

[Candy Man]

In my opinion, what suits my thinking sholdn't be near the general public.

Come into my Parlor

A flash of green,
and field of white
The star on my hand appears this night.
Tried to find out all that's right.
An existance cannot bloom.

All one purpose,
too many goals.
Can't return the love we stole.
Unsuccessful, young and old.
Sure we'll all know soon.
​

 

[Blue]

That one is quite well done I think.

 

[Thor.]

Wow. . . . . . .now you should know what you're talking about. . . . .

 

[Darkness Princess]

You're weird...
The first stanza makes almost no sense at all...

 

[Darkness Princess]

Care to explain ?

 

[Candy Man]

*rolls eyes*
Gotta repost my little poem.

Screaming voices in my head
will burn better when they're dead.​

STAY!!!!!

 

[Darkness Princess]

Meow ?
I still want an explanation of the other poem...