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Help/Support ► Girl Trouble (I think this is the 5th one today lol)



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khphantom97

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Ok, I'm in a dilemna. You see, there is this girl that I know. Her name is Ashley (I'm telling you her name for arguement's sake). We did the drama club earlier this year, and I got her phone number, and I found we have so much in common! Then, earlier today, her friend told me "Oh, by the way, Ashley likes you." You see, I'm the kid who is always like, "Nobody likes me! I'm gonna die alone!", so when I found this out, I was so excited! But, there's a problem. When school starts in the fall, I will be in 8th grade, and she will be in 9th grade. I have learned from past experiences that relationships where we only talk on the phone, on Facebook, etc., are doomed to fail. Plus, it would be awkward going to her dances, seeing as I wouldn;t know anybody, exept for my sister, who will be a senior where Ashley is going.

What should I do!?
 
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Nutari

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Dude. What the hellcakes r you smoking?! Ask her out! it shouldnt matter if your schools apart there are such things as hanging out after school. You dont have to see her every second of your life. SO my advice is ask her if she likes you, if she says yes than tell her how you feel.
 

O a t h keeper

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How about you, y'know, spend time together after school..? Seems like an easy solution to me.
 

khphantom97

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Yeah, but, I'm not that kinda guy who "goes out" regularly. I find it awkward to be alone with a girl. I find it awkward when I'm alone with one of my friends. But then I get over it.
 

O a t h keeper

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Then spend time together as friends until you get over the awkwardness, then try asking her out. Besides, if you get to know each other better beforehand that'll probably just give the relationship a better foundation if you do start dating.
 

khphantom97

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Then spend time together as friends until you get over the awkwardness, then try asking her out. Besides, if you get to know each other better beforehand that'll probably just give the relationship a better foundation if you do start dating.

Yeah, but should I tell her this? We are going to a movie together with a bunch of friends, and everyone is pressurring me to ask her out.
 

Walkway

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Yeah, but, I'm not that kinda guy who "goes out" regularly. I find it awkward to be alone with a girl. I find it awkward when I'm alone with one of my friends. But then I get over it.

Gotta get over the awkwardness, dude. Just find a place to meet up and meet up! Like a mall or something. A place where you can just walk around and talk.
 

Optimus Rhyme

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You're questioning what to do when an older woman wants you? You have more serious problems, bro.
 

Nutari

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You're questioning what to do when an older woman wants you? You have more serious problems, bro.

Haha thats true. Ive found that older girls are liking me more and more. Dont get yourself into a situation you dont know how to say no to. as far as peer pressure goes. dont listen to them until you know that they are actually right. try some cause and effect stuff.
 

Optimus Rhyme

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In my school there are sophomores dating freshman, and juniors dating freshman. It's not a big deal. If you like her, and she likes you, then go for it.
 

Nutari

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Yeah but you know its forbidden in my school to go for and 8th grader for some reason. Its only okay if your one of the cool people
 

Shadow Key

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Heh, don't worry, I know EXACTLY what you're going through. To be honest, we have more in common than you think. I'm in Drama club, there was an older girl a grade above me who liked me, we only talked through MSN and always felt awkward being alone with her! Plus, I'm the "I WAS BORN ALONE, I'M LIVING ALONE, AND GOING TO DIE ALONE!" type too!

*shifty eyes* You don't happen to have glasses and have a name that starts with an A, do you? Because if you do, I'd be deathly afraid...

*cough* ANYWAY... this is what I did in that situation. Drumroll, please!

NOTHING!

Seriously! Just do nothing. Most of the time in these situations I just lay low, even if I had feelings for her. You're probably going through enough stress as it is, so why add another task? Wait until you're older to actually take a relationship seriously. I'm not telling you to ignore her or not be her friend, just don't do anything that initiates a dating situation. That's my advice. If you got any questions, I'll be in the corner hissing at the world if they try to make me socialize. s1seafoodsoup
 

Callaghan

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Only ask her out when you feel it is right. Don't listen to your friends.
Spending lots of time together is just as damaging to a relationship as not spending lots of time, so the fact you're apart doesn't matter.
Bring friends with you and meet up after school, get her to bring her friends, so that you know more people her age and don't feel lonered at their dances and other such events.
Think of it this way, if you can get through this year apart, then the next year together shall be easy =)
Also one thing you should keep in mind about being awkward alone, you said you have plenty in common, talk about that! Or before hand, think of 5 things you could discuss, each time you run out of things to say, move on to the next one (tactfully). but don't be afraid of silence!
Movies are good to go to, because you don't need to talk during, but are spending time together, and then have something to talk about afterwards if you go for a walk or get something to eat together =)
Hope that helped..


EDIT: On a side note, I find unless you're 16, and with a job, your relationship is generally doomed, that and statistics say relationships that begin under 18 years fail o.o
 

Aqua.

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if you really like her, and you two mix, there shouldn't be any awkwardness when you two are alone..iv learned from experience lol

if you're worried about you being looked at funny for being an 8th grader w/ a 9th grader girlfriend, think about her pov.

she'll be in high school going out w/ a middle schooler. sucks for her too, but she seems to like you enough to go for it w/o carrying about that.

don't think too much about "aw only the cool kids do that" cuz like it's not that weird really. if they're teasing you about that then just stand up for you and your gf and stuff cuz at least you're w/ someone you like who likes you back and love each other enough to go out even if it's like in different schools.
that is IF you go out w/ her and you're being teased.. you probably won't as long you're not "HEY COOL KIDS GUESS WHAT IM GOING OUT w/ A NINTH GRADER GREAT HUH!?"
 

E.J.

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I know how you feel. I'm in 7th grade, and feel like I have absolutely no chance in life. If a girl likes you, I say go for it. I would. If you're friends say something about it, fuck them, at least you HAVE a girlfriend.
 

khphantom97

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*shifty eyes* You don't happen to have glasses and have a name that starts with an A, do you? Because if you do, I'd be deathly afraid...

Hahaha, no, my name doesn't start with an A, but I do wear glasses :/ Anyway, thanks for your advice, everybody. This really helps. Really, we have only known each other, in reality, for like 2 weeks. So, I think we need to get to know each other.
 
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