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Mason Stark

TICK TOCK, KID!
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Well... maybe not, but I'm tempted to. I already did that today. And cursed. And listened to loud music, which only made me ticked off more. I love Paramore's songs, but SHOOT. D:

I do NOT like my dad. I want to say hate, but it's horrible to hate, so... instead, it's dislike. And do not like. Anywhooooo~ It's because he's incredibly lazy and that laziness puts a HORRIBLE amount of strain on my mom. Considering he's moving out (though I have no clue when), I probably shouldn't care. BUT his laziness is part of the reason why he's moving out. That, and he's incredibly selfish sometimes. But, I'll tackle trying to fix his laziness first. If I can. .-. Maybe, if I help him stop being lazy, things will get better and my mom won't be so stressed out. It's worth a try...

I want to tell my dad that he's lazy. Except the last time that happen when my mom didn't even say he was lazy (he just took something the wrong way and screamed 'I AM NOT LAZY! >:[' at the top of his lungs and slammed the door after he cursed. Heavily.), he... did just what is written in those parenthesizes. He got so ANGRY about it and he has a horrible temper. Being horribly sensitive, I will probably burst into tears and look like a whiny little brat OR look incredibly stupid if I tell him that he is lazy. I'm also horribly timid and shy, so shy that I'm scared to talk to my dad a lot of times. He's not mean, but... his temper scares me. A lot.

On top of that, I have a decently bad temper myself that I'm NOT proud of, though I mostly keep it to myself more than anything. I will get angry, but it's hard to see it sometimes. I really just want to throw all of his stupid crap across the room and watch it break. If that was how things got fixed, I would do that... but it doesn't, so I have to resort to my worst skill: speaking.

How do I tell my dad that he's lazy? And how do I do it without making things worse and do all of that in a nice, calm manner? I'm absolutely terrified, but I have to do SOMETHING. :[

Thank you very, very much in advance!
 
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Shadow Soldier

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Next time you go over to your friend's place or whatever for a couple days, write a letter, leave it somewhere where he will find it. Explain why you can't say it to his face.
 

thisisthebeat

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Well, maybe you shouldn't call him lazy. You know like don't say "Hey Dad, you're a lazy ass!"
But maybe just talk to him and let him know that his actions are creating problems and that it makes you sad because you would like for your family to get along.

Oh yeah! the letter idea is good ^^
 
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Seeshinamaru13

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Wow... you're kind of a lot like me...

Your goal is to improve his behavior, correct?... then the best thing may not necessarily be telling him he's lazy persay... what you should try to do is make him more active. Also it might not be a bad idea to try an intervention type thing... you might not want to spin it as him being lazy but instead something like you and your mom need more help... but your mom needs to be apart of it as well... if he thinks that it is something that only you come up with then he might not take it as seriously.

When you are doing chores or something... you should ask him to help you... and if that doesn't work... find something that he is interested in like sports and try to get him to do that stuff with you... hopefully it will make him a more active person.

Good Luck <3
 

New2Ya

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Wow, I feel for you. Nine years old and dealing with this stuff.

The letter is a good idea, but I'd suggest talking to your mother first. Maybe write that letter with her, or write it yourself but give it to her and let her deal with it with your dad.

You're nine years old and you should enjoy your childhood. Another suggestion would be your grandma (mother of your father) and keep her in trust.

Look, I don't know how the situation is. If he's violent, if your mother is scared of your father, if your grandmother is dead, etc. But I hope this advice helps you in a certain direction. Good luck.

ps. Go ask him if he wants to do some sports with you. Hang out or something. Have some quality time together. He might enjoy it and you could even consider bringing up this topic when you're alone with him.
 

Gildragon

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The letter is the best idea.

but don't do it like its an accusation make it more an area of concern. if he cares about you he will pay attention to it. whether he will change is really up to him in the end
 

Lancelot

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The letter would only be a good idea for the one time, imo. As the others said, it's definitely the best way to express how you feel, without confronting him, but don't let that become the only means of communication in the end. At least with starting off in that manner, hopefully he'll realise that you find it hard to speak face to face, and try to make it a bit easier on you too, yeah? Baby steps are all that's required
 
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Shadow Soldier

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Shinkirō;4683614 said:
The letter would only be a good idea for the one time,

Well duh, why would you constantly say "you're lazy" to him?
 

Lancelot

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I meant for the issue of communication
 

New2Ya

I'm lost...
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ahaha oh wow yeah she joined these forums when she was 4
LMAO. Okay, never mind...

I thought it was a bit of a mature way of writing anyways... But hey, you have hyper-intelligent children, so you never know...
 
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