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Help/Support ► hi, i need some help



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Aqua13

麿 恋仲 麿DYING OF EMBARRA
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hi, some of u may know me, i didnt know this section existed lol.

well i knew this guy that is a year younger than me for practically my whole life, and we started dating in the beginning of HS,

anyways....his mom doesnt aprove of me, and at first i thought that she knew me and him were going out, but then he tells me, that we have to keep it a secret to everyone,

its been a few years, and i have been sneaking into his room sometimes, one time, we almost got caught together

but the thing is....i want his mom to aprove of me...i mean, i dont want to regret anything while still being with him.

should i tell his mom and i are dating? or maybe its just me and should keep it on the down low (i know its weird saying that) from his family?

idk...maybe this isnt even a real problem compared to you guys...
 
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Aqua13

麿 恋仲 麿DYING OF EMBARRA
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well that is a bit of a problem...
so tell me this do you love him
cuz if you do then idk maybe try and get in good graces with his mom
and talk to him about telling his parents

welli met his parents, we were about to state that we were engaged (i think i should have mentioned that) and that in a few months we were going ot move away.

i really do love him, and i want to be in good terms with his parents, but my short black hair, and black make up makes them think im some kind of emo girl (the mom thinks so)
 

dawn seeker

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O_O wow engaged lol i have to say... you both have a lot of comitment to keep it sectret this long...
ok so im gonna give you an example of 2 of my best friends who have now been going out for about 6 months and had been keeping it a secreat from (almost) every1 but when they told every1 they were supprised to see that people were ok with it and there relaitonship had gotten better by it


oh and the girsl dad did hate the guy but has since made peace with him

so yeah idk were i was going with that but if you truly do love each other then i say no matter what happens you can both work through anything
 

Aqua13

麿 恋仲 麿DYING OF EMBARRA
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O_O wow engaged lol i have to say... you both have a lot of comitment to keep it sectret this long...
ok so im gonna give you an example of 2 of my best friends who have now been going out for about 6 months and had been keeping it a secreat from (almost) every1 but when they told every1 they were supprised to see that people were ok with it and there relaitonship had gotten better by it


oh and the girsl dad did hate the guy but has since made peace with him

so yeah idk were i was going with that but if you truly do love each other then i say no matter what happens you can both work through anything

so what ur saying is that, if i confess our relationship and engagement, they might not react as bad as i think.

u may be right, i would definetly try that in a day or two, but for now, i would also like to hear other suggestions from others, just to get more of a background check.

but thank you, that helped me, it got me more confident
 

dawn seeker

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so what ur saying is that, if i confess our relationship and engagement, they might not react as bad as i think.

u may be right, i would definetly try that in a day or two, but for now, i would also like to hear other suggestions from others, just to get more of a background check.

but thank you, that helped me, it got me more confident

no worries hope i did some good ^_^ but yeah someone else talk now...
 

BirthByMom

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Well.. If you want to be with the guy and I mean REALLY want to be with him, at some point you HAVE to tell his mom. That simple eh? Results may not be the best possible ones but do you have a choice?
 

Iridium

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Wow would have never expected to see you in here.

Anyway, things come out to the light eventually so it's not worth keeping it a secrete.
Talk to the parents of his house hold and see how it goes.

However I'll tell you this much, she doesn't have to like you but at least accept you.
Personalities blend and diverge so some people will like you, some won't; it's common knowledge.
So don't think it will be an easy conversation and she'll welcome you all willy nilly, it takes time but acceptance is all you need.
 

Marly

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I say keep it a secret, you dont want to go behind your own boyfriends back
 

Aqua13

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oh ok guys, thanx i think i can work this problem out.

oh and yes, i never thought i would be in this section eighter.
 
C

Colours

Guest
The fact of the matter is that you like someone a whole lot, and
it should make a differences in someones life. Try talking to your
BF about his mother, telling her to except you, for who you are.~
 

Siren

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He's 18 now, if you were honest about your age when you joined. When he moves out he can tell his mom to fuck off, he'll date who he wants.

Who cares if she approves anyway? You like him, not his mother.
 

Crimson Jazz

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You're only 19 and already engaged?
All I have to say is wow.

Like Roulette says, it doesn't matter if his mother doesn't approve of you, and you really shouldn't care.
You're "engaged" to him, not his mom.
 

Aqua13

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You're only 19 and already engaged?
All I have to say is wow.

Like Roulette says, it doesn't matter if his mother doesn't approve of you, and you really shouldn't care.
You're "engaged" to him, not his mom.

yeah i know...i guess it was just some little ideal, i mean,

i mean what happens when they invite him to christmas or thanksgiving?

im afraid that they still might treat me the same way as before even if i was married to him.
 

dejah

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hmm.

i think you're all going about this the wrong way.
the both of you telling his mom to basically "fuck off" would definitely not make things any better right?

and regardless of whether or not you are engaged to him, his mother comes along with it.
family is always a package deal thing.

personally, i think you should just be yourself and take the initiative to always be nice to them.
that way they can't put you in the wrong, saying you're a horrible person and what not
because you're always nice to them.
keep on trying to get to know them. and let them get to know you. and maybe they won't judge you so much.. and will be more accepting of who you are.

as for the "secret relationship" thing,
i'm dating my best friend.
i've known him since january and we've spent everyday together since then.
we only unofficially officially got together about two weeks ago...
i'm head over heels in love with him, as he is with me.
but we insist to everyone else that we're just best friends and so nobody ever suspects that we're together.
they only know that we're just that close. one never without the other.
i was so scared of his parents. they seemed like the super fierce no-nonsense type.
and my parents haaaaated him because they thought we were dating(daddy's the overprotective sort)
but we insisted to all of them that we were just best friends.
and they all believed us.

i got to know his parents, and they're actually really cool.
they recently went for a holiday and stocked up extra food in their house for me too!
and they even brought back a gift for me.

and my mom got to know him a little better. even helped him make his halloween outfit.
and asks how he is and all that. she never used to before..
my dad's still a bit of a tough shell... but no matter.

and we're happy that it's like this.
because people knowing about us and disapproving would just make shit complicated.
unnecessary arguments. unncessary expectations and other complicated shit.


maybe this won't work for you, but i'm just sharing my experience in the matter.
could help you somehow. *shrugs*

good luck!

ps. definitely don't start out by telling them that you're both engaged.
slow and steady yo.
let them absorb everything bit by bit.
 

Sa?x's Ducky x)

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errr...sounds like a rather tricky situation ^_^
but no worries, maybe you could try and figure out what the mother likes for example: Cooking or summin...Then you could ask if you could come around and cook together...And ask your bf then what she likes and talk about them when your cooking and afterwards when you get to know eachother better then you could tell...Just a idea..i dunno, might work. Might not...I'm still so young so i dont really know these kind of things XD

But good luck and congratulations anyway about the engagment ^^
 
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