Help/Support ► I attempted suicide today

[Muke]

I'm really glad you didn't go through with it all the way because, you'd also be throwing what talents you have away too. The artwork you've done isn't something anyone else could repeat, so it'd be a shame to see that disappear from the world too. And you're a good kid too, who doesn't deserve this treatment at all. So hang in there!

And considering the injuries you've recently gotten, they'll most likely bruise. So that's solid evidence to give to police, if you want to report your father for abuse. I've never been in this situation, but usually any kind of evidence should help further your case.[Although, take this bit with a grain of salt, cause I don't know if it'd work.] Anyways, just don't give up, and get help!

Aww, thank you, KitKat!
I will get help, but not from the police. I'll call my uncly if anything like this happens again (he has no clue yet).

It's cool.

's good that you're considering changing things. Fear of the unknown is what keeps us from taking steps that can make us far happier because we fear it could get worse instead.
Like I said before, if you need help or encouragement in contacting child/teen support or your uncle, let me know.

Okay, thanks again, Void! I will keep that in mind.

They will believe you. Those kinds of hits leave bruises. Does he touch you with his bare hands on your skin? They could possibly do fingerprinting as long as you don't try to clean yourself off after he hits you or holds you. There are very clear signs of abuse (footprint marks on body, defensive bruising from you putting your arms to up shield, bruising from aggressive holds, etc.)

Have your phone set to record every time you are around him. Just have it hidden in your back pocket or something if you can.

What you need is somebody in your court. Somebody you can go to. I know you don't want to put more on your Uncle but it is important to do so. He's the adult. You're the child. You need protection.

I also know you do not trust your teachers but is there nobody at your school who you are somewhat comfortable with? An administrator? They all undergo sensitivity training and they must report these things if they are told or notice (but then again idk about the laws in your country). What about them makes you not trust them?

I don't mean momentary "in the moment" but rather in the grand scheme of how ever many years you would live naturally. This pain is only a small moment out of the 60-100 years you'd live. This will always affect you, but that shouldn't take away from the joy you can gain in life now and later on. You will be an adult one day who is in charge of your own life.

If you don't want to report him, nobody can make you. But start making your plans for when you are old enough to leave. Call that hotline. Talk to a counselor if you can. If you don't think your teachers will believe you, a counselor certainly will.

I'm glad this a place you feel comfortable visiting

About the teachers… School has just started. Tomorrow's the second week of school and it's a new school. I don't know anybody there.
Okay, I will consider recording stuff. I could send them to my Uncle, right?

I don't want to reiterate too much of what everyone has said, and it seems Victor already gave you the important links to go to, but after going through suicidal thoughts and attempts myself, I always feel an obligation to speak up when these situations arise, especially after Robin Williams' passing helping to bring depression even more into the public eye. As what's been said, get the word out to police or someone of importance about your father. Abuse, physical or mental, is absolutely not okay in any way shape or form and does not belong in this world. And to start healing for yourself, I absolutely recommend seeking out a counselor or someone you feel comfortable in confiding in (or even someone to stay with too, if you deem that an option; I feel you shouldn't have to live under the same roof as that man). I've had two when I was at my absolute worse about two years ago and can personally say they were a life saver; just getting everything out in the open does a lot more than you'd think instead of just bottling it up. I was against going to one when I first started feeling signs of depression but once it all began to boil up years later, I regret not going to one sooner.

I know we've never really talked before but I am available to talk to if you ever deem it necessary. Just know you aren't alone and there are people on your side.

Sorry about the suicidal thoughts :S
I could stay with my Uncle in Hanover. If I tell him, I am sure he would do something. Talk to my mom and then get me out of here.
Yeah, it's… been boiling up for years now. Thank you!

wait why are you even still living with him? If he is that much of an asshole?

Also, just yet karma catch up to him. Its going to punish him big time, whether it be jail time or a more morbid way of karma

What do you expect me to do? Get my 'suitcase' and run away? I did that 2-3 times already (just without the suitcase).
Thanks for reading through my post!

Yes to what everyone has already said regarding hotlines, counselors, and contacting whatever version of Child Protective Services you've got in your neck of the woods, Muke. No one should have to deal with abuse like what you are describing. Especially a child.

Thank you, Laeril!

Just like everyone else said, get on the phone to child services and a Prevention hotline. Though I haven't commented on them, but I have read some of your writings in the Creative Writing section and enjoyed them. If anything, I'd like to see you write more. We're all here for you and want you to get past this.

Thank you! I know you guys are here, and it at least makes me feel better.

I hate that you feel this way Muke, and I'm sorry that you don't have anyone to closer to talk to. You're special and you're strong, remember that. Also, while I've seen you around, I don't think we've ever talked; but if you need someone to talk to (what am I saying? You've reached out to us for that fact) you can just send me a PM or VM and I will respond to it ASAP. As others have said, you're not alone and you've got people on your said.

Thanks, Skitty Cat!! I will keep that in mind. =D

Damm Muke sorry I just found this thread. I know you've been through some stuff lately and not much I can say to fix that other than saying your dad is just one person in your life and you aren't define by him.

You are your own person and need to look after yourself. Report to authorities and don't pay mind to what will happen to your dad. Your dad doesn't deserve your sympathy and you need to look after your own safety. Things will get better but only if you try to make it better by assuring your safety.

You have to trust some authority to protect you. I know giving trust to strangers is tough but you have to understand people are willing to help.

Hope you are able to read this message amigo.

Yeah, I am able to.
Ugh, I don't know about contacting any authority other than my Uncle. I completely trust him (and he doesn't like my dad), so I know he'd do something. I am even sure that he'd buy me a ticket for the plane.
Thanks, Divine!

 

[Story Keeper]

Thanks, Skitty Cat!! I will keep that in mind. =D

You're welcome Muke. ^_^ Just remember to keep your head up.

 

[Shadow Fenix]

Sorry about the suicidal thoughts :S
I could stay with my Uncle in Hanover. If I tell him, I am sure he would do something. Talk to my mom and then get me out of here.
Yeah, it's… been boiling up for years now. Thank you!

Hey, don't apologize ha. Not trying to compare pains here, as they're completely subjective to the person and cannot be compared between two people. But I appreciate the sentiments nonetheless ^-^

That sounds like the start of a good plan to me. ~

Then I would truly suggest seeking someone trusted to confide in and let out those bottled feelings (not all at once, or at least in a pace you and your confident are comfortable with haha). When something is this heavy, you shouldn't have to carry it alone. I started having those thoughts when I was your age, and that was almost ten years ago for me I think? I turn 23 soon. And it may not happen overnight, these things do take time, but they do get better. I just wish it hadn't taken me until a couple years ago to see that. Keep your head up, man (I mean that literally too, it really does help as opposed to looking at the ground all the time), you got your whole life ahead of you now. And you are most certainly welcome, anytime! B)

 

[Dreaded_Desire62]

Aww, thank you, KitKat!
I will get help, but not from the police. I'll call my uncly if anything like this happens again (he has no clue yet).


Okay, thanks again, Void! I will keep that in mind.


About the teachers… School has just started. Tomorrow's the second week of school and it's a new school. I don't know anybody there.
Okay, I will consider recording stuff. I could send them to my Uncle, right?



Sorry about the suicidal thoughts :S
I could stay with my Uncle in Hanover. If I tell him, I am sure he would do something. Talk to my mom and then get me out of here.
Yeah, it's… been boiling up for years now. Thank you!



What do you expect me to do? Get my 'suitcase' and run away? I did that 2-3 times already (just without the suitcase).
Thanks for reading through my post!


Thank you, Laeril!


Thank you! I know you guys are here, and it at least makes me feel better.


Thanks, Skitty Cat!! I will keep that in mind. =D


Yeah, I am able to.
Ugh, I don't know about contacting any authority other than my Uncle. I completely trust him (and he doesn't like my dad), so I know he'd do something. I am even sure that he'd buy me a ticket for the plane.
Thanks, Divine!

I hope you can contact your uncle. The sooner you get away from your father, the better. Nobody deserves to be abused! I really hope your father can get some counseling, but more importantly, I hope you can get far away from him. He can do a lot of damage by hitting you and it's just not right.

Please, don't kill yourself over that man! I hope you're doing better.

 

[Master Exin]

Blimey Muke, pretty damn harsh what he did to you. Is your mother around?

 

[DefiantHeart]

Pretty much anything I could suggest, has been suggested in this thread. I think of suicide all the time, personally... ever since I was 13. I just try to block out everything with looking forward to video games and such. I just feel since we're going to die anyways, might as well endure as much as possible until we can no longer take it. Hope things get better for you somehow...

 

[xiaojen7]

I think many of us agree that you should report your father for child abuse. The police will believe you, especially if you have hit marks anywhere on your body. Please don't kill yourself, just call a suicide hotline or find someone very close to talk to about this.

 

[VoidGear.]

Re: So this Clown threat business...

Because my awesome, responsible parents thought I was sleeping in the car and left the gas station without me and now nobody's answering my calls. I blame my dad because he probably didn't let them or something. I can imagine him doing that.

I'm sure this isn't the right place to discuss this but w h a t t h e f u c k it's time to get away from those people I'm sorry.

 

[Muke]

Re: So this Clown threat business...

I'm sure this isn't the right place to discuss this but w h a t t h e f u c k it's time to get away from those people I'm sorry.

It's time to get away from my dad*, yeah. They will divorce sometime in November so that's something

 

[Grizzly]

I'm so sorry about all of this, Muke. I can't imagine what it is like to be in such a situation, but everyone here has provided you with some excellent advice. I know it can be hard to trust authorities, but they are there solely to protect you. They have every reason to believe the things you have to tell them, and being with them or your family somewhere else is obviously much safer than where you are now. I don't necessarily want to retread ground, but use the sources everyone else gave you and get yourself out of this situation. You're a good dude and this stuff isn't your fault, but it's important to get yourself in a safe situation as soon as possible. I'm really sorry you have to go through all of this.

 

[Elysium]

Re: So this Clown threat business...

It's time to get away from my dad*, yeah. They will divorce sometime in November so that's something

Will you be able to live with your mom? I'll be so happy for you if that's the case and you can at least get away from someone who physically abuses you.

 

[Muke]

Re: So this Clown threat business...

Will you be able to live with your mom? I'll be so happy for you if that's the case and you can at least get away from someone who physically abuses you.

I think here you can decide whether you want to live with your mom or dad. So, yeah, I hope I will be able to. =)

I'm so sorry about all of this, Muke. I can't imagine what it is like to be in such a situation, but everyone here has provided you with some excellent advice. I know it can be hard to trust authorities, but they are there solely to protect you. They have every reason to believe the things you have to tell them, and being with them or your family somewhere else is obviously much safer than where you are now. I don't necessarily want to retread ground, but use the sources everyone else gave you and get yourself out of this situation. You're a good dude and this stuff isn't your fault, but it's important to get yourself in a safe situation as soon as possible. I'm really sorry you have to go through all of this.

Thank you, Grizzly, for the advice. ^^