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I hate Eastern European immigrants

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Blackest Night

High Priest of Sloanism
Apr 15, 2004
Depends upon the day and if there is free pizza.

But not for the reasons you might expect. I have nothing against Eastern Europe. However, the people they send over here need to die. I work as a cashier, and these people are so relentlessly rude that I am curious as to how they have not yet been killed. Their women also age horribly. I thought she was going to suck out my soul and feed it to her winged children.

It is not the purpose of the customer service department to royally screw you over. In truth, we want you to be as happy as possible, so that you do not come and irritate us with your "problems." "I don't mean to sound rude but.." Then stop talking. You're a bitch. You were not over charged for grapes. Those are not grapes, those are cherries, and yes, you need to bring your receipt with you in order to get money back instead of store credit. Furthermore, we are not psychics, though we relish the opportunityto mess with your mind. Therefore, I cannot read your thoughts and you need to tell me what's wrong when you slam your 3/4 eaten apple pie on my counter. I just cleaned that, asshole.

If I ask you kindly to repeat yourself, it is not because I am being an ass. You are not speaking clearly and my inability to understand you is no one's fault but your own. Don't slam your fist upon my register and scream "I SAID CREDIT." I will punch you in your kidney.

Don't get all pissy with your school board for assigning a summer reading list. It is for your own damn good. You should read these books so that when the time comes for university, you're not staring fearfully at your professor as he asks you about Shelley's Frankenstein: The Modern Prometheus. Read the damn books. Christ, the average teen reads at what, a third grade level nowadays? Better yourself.

I hate laptop keyboards.

I will not forgive you, no matter how many times you apologize. You stole a copyrighted work of mine, which means you have stolen something that is legally mine. You can say you're reforming yourself all you want, I will not believe you. Do not get your vag all pissy because you think I'm being an ass to you. I have no reason to be pleasant and cordial. I'm not suing you. Be happy with that.

I feel better now.
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