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Zen

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I still think you should try to avoid her whenever you can.
 

雨子供

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Hmm, I don't know if my advice is any good, but I'll try. ^^

I think you should open up to her and tell her how you feel and see how she takes it. If you don't find her attractive and things like that, then may be it's time to break up, regardless if it hurts her. Sooner or later it'll fade away and she won't be as upset she was before. I mean, she can't keep crying, possibly she'll realize that she needs to move on, too.
 

MESMAR_RISING

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This may be just my opinion, but it sounds like more than anything else she's comfortable around you and doesn't necessarily feel that she needs to do all that crazy shit to impress you anymore. Considering the fact that it seems like you've been going out for a while (at least over three months) I wouldn't necessarily say that any of that is out of the ordinary.

If you want her to try a little bit harder stop being her bitch. It's as simple as that. If a month passes and you're still not happy, break up with her and move on. Ya she'll be sad and all that craziness, but she'll move on. Don't talk about it with her, because it sounds like your only problem is that she's not making you feel ~*special*~. I've seen shit like this before, just deal with it or break up.

EDIT:

Actually, forget everything I just said and follow Silh's advice instead.
 

Aqua.

ichimaru gin~ <3
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well, maybe try to like iuno "set the standard" higher, like dress more like, dont dress like shit or like iuno act more higher or soemthing. make yourself look better then her. like a LOT. then she'll probably feel bad for looking like shit around you... or acting like shit.. then if she's like most girls, she would probably try to look as good or better than you. iuno but thats just me..im a girl btw.

and if she does cry everytime you say what you really think about her, just dump her dude. if she's trying to play the victom role to make YOU feel bad and not let her go, then yeah she is using her. and you dont deserve that. you have a whole life ahead of you.

no reika.
"What would you do to prove how much you love me?"

if Antlion says that it's going to sound like he just wants sex or something. well, the girl would probably think that Antlion wants sex or something.

if your 15 iuno if your like "happy happy go lucky" kind but eh IDK.
 
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KeyMaker

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You should tell her mother...
It may seem weird, but it would actually be more effective, the mother understand more than the daughter and she can give a subtle hint or talk to her own daughter about equality in the relationship.
Of course you have to tell her that you aren't looking for sex or anything like that...
You're girlfriend may or may not talk back to you about it...
Or you can just be honest and tell her to do her fair share.
 

Reika Noko

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no reika.

if Antlion says that it's going to sound like he just wants sex or something. well, the girl would probably think that Antlion wants sex or something.

if your 15 iuno if your like "happy happy go lucky" kind but eh IDK.
I'm very aware of the double entendre behind what I said. I said I wondered about a what if situation. Read the whole sentence again before saying something like that.
 

Darkness Princess

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Talk to her. If she starts crying tell her to suck it up and listen for once in her life. If she starts going on about how she understands tell her that its a lie, if she understood you wouldn't still have this problem. Seriously, girls use tears as emotional blackmail, its effective and since you're such a nice guy; its affecting you. Explain to her that its good to be comfortable around her and that you do love her lots but it would be nice if she tried once in a while and to at least treat you with a little respect, she wouldn't act like a fool in front of her peers since she cares about what they think of her, ask her to do the same with you.

If you talk it out and things still aren't the same, I say its time to dump the girl and move on.
 

Spic Steve

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fuck and leave. when you break up say the sex was horrible.
 
K

Kegluneq

Guest
According to this one website my brother was looking at women see men who constantly try to please them basically as a game.
I honestly thought at first she was comfortable with you but...not anymore. I think you should tell her not to take the things you do for her for granted.
 

xenos24

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just break up with her its for the best the spark is gone with its gone its gone
 

Angel

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This is a really unhealthy relationship for you.

In all honesty, if guilt is the only thing tethering you to her, the sooner you end it, the better.
 

Chris

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fuck and leave. when you break up say the sex was horrible.

The most I'm getting out of her is an unfinished handjob because her arm gets tired
(see: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)


Well, I think the general consensus is it's time to enter douche bag mode for the next month.
 

Aqua13

&#40639; &#24651;&#20210; &#40639;DYING OF EMBARRA
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So uh, I usually don't post anything serious in H&S, but I figured I have nothing to lose.

To put it simply, I put an extremely large amount of effort into my relationship with my girlfriend. She says I am the best thing that has ever happened to her. Lately, I haven't really been happy. All the effort I put into making her life happy is only returned to me through verbal gratitude. In other words, instead of going out of her way to make me as happy as I make her, she just tells me how thankful she is that I'm a good boyfriend. It was cute for about a month, now it is just annoying.

She stopped putting effort into looking attractive, because she assumes now that she has a boyfriend I will love her no matter what. Almost every day is no makeup, hair up, sweats, all the stuff guys get sick of.

She doesn't care about horribly embarrassing herself in front of me, because she assumes I will just find it cute.

It isn't very cute.

So basically, she just annoys me now. I thought about breaking up with her, but I feel too guilty. I am the first boy she claims to ever have been in love with, and the only guy she has lasted with for over three months, and she just constantly tells me that I'm the most amazing thing that has ever happened to her and she would die without me. Her mom loves me, which makes it even more awkward.

It seems like all of the feelings that I used to have for her are slipping away, because she stops trying to be the person she is, and just waits for me to do things to make her life better. I'm more her slave than I am her boyfriend. So, there are definitely things I love(d) about her, but she just isn't the same person anymore. I don't feel the same spark when I see her, and everything is too perfect and boring.

I had a conversation with her about a month ago where I said I wasn't really happy and everything was too boring, and all she did was start hysterically crying, and I ended up apologizing for things I didn't feel like I should have apologized for, only because I felt bad that I made her cry. She ended up saying "Just try to be happy, okay?" which really ate away at me. I do SO much to make her happy, but she just magically wants me to make myself happy? Eventually we both just dropped it, because I realized I hated seeing her sad when I made her cry. I assumed it was just a phase that would go away, but it hasn't.

So, my question to KHI is, how can I make her try harder to actually earn my affection, instead of assuming I will keep living to please her? I don't want to just be a dirtbag or a jerk to her, because that isn't the type of person I am. I am a genuinely nice boyfriend, but it seems like it's biting me in the ass because my affection is taken for granted. I just want her to remember that she should be keeping me happy too, and I don't consider that to be a selfish thing to say.

Has anyone encountered a problem like this before? I don't want my niceness to actually be the thing that causes me to stop loving my girlfriend, but it seems like that is the case. I either want to be able to feel secure about breaking up with her (which I doubt will happen because of the guilt) or, preferably, find a way to fix my relationship and reignite my feelings for her. The latter, though, can only be done if I make it clear to her that she isn't keeping me happy and has to continue to put effort into the relationship like I am.

Any input is appreciated.


tl;dr Just read it, please.

to me it seems you want something to show that she loves you, but then i keep reading and it just seems like its just her appearance that bugged you the most and how that wasnt an effort. can you be more specific on how she doesnt show her affection towards you?


just be yourself and try to influence her to do the same.
 
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