I waited for the bus today (Dec 18, 2017)

[SorasTwilight]

Today I waited for the bus.
Scratch that.
Today I waited to be hit BY the bus.
My girlfriend named depression
has been bumming me out
as of late.
I figured that I could run away.
Run away into a different universe
just to get away from her.
The bus read "knoxville".
It was my bus.
But my second b*tch named
Survival
Made me miss my bus.
F*ck.
Now what?
I guess I will go rent a room
And look out the window.
Instead of taking the bus
I could just fly.


--------
Hello,
I am not SorasTwilight, I am her friend. SorasTwilight wanted me to post this piece for her as she is in a very dark place right now. She loves this forum as it was her only way to truly express herself and for her to actually feel loved. I am still trying to talk her out of it, but she has been suffering for 10 years now. I know she would hate me for saying this, but please send your prayers or your thoughts. I want to remind her that she is loved so much by this world.

Thank you.

 

[Veevee]

Hey,
even though I never talked to your friend personally, I want to send her lovely thoughts and good wishes. Suffering from depression is a hardship that I can understand too well, but please don't give up. There are also a lot of good things in this world, even though they might seem little in comparison. Getting a tip with a smile by a stranger. Receiving an unexpected compliment. Waiting for a game to finally come out. Seeing the first snow in winter and touching it. Having a friend like you who cares so much about your friend. Please tell the real SorasTwilight to continue being strong, to believe and to come back to the Forum whenever she feels like it.

 

[SorasTwilight]

Hello,

This is SorasTwilight. I may not get a lot of response for this, but I am still going to explain anyways.
For 10 years (like my friend has stated), I have been suffering through seasonal depression. This means, my depression really starts to show more in the winter time. I wrote this piece on a day I found out that someone very close to me has passed away. I will share how I got the inspiration for this poem:

I was at work and during my breaks I like to take walks outside. This was on the day that my friend had died as I feel as if the work place was too suffocating for me and I needed to get out to get some air. As I was walking, I did not realize that I shouldn't have walked where I did as a bus that actually had the location "Knoxville" was coming at me very fast. I thought this was a sign for me to go, but at the last moment, my subconscious and a stranger yelled at me to move.

I am kind of in a better place now after that and have been slowly recovering, but I do not think my depression will ever go away. I want to share my piece to the people out there who are going through the same things that I'm going through, maybe to provide some insight for them. If this, and all my other pieces, got viewed, I think I would be the happiest person alive. But again, I'm not expecting anyone to read this. I still would love to hear your feedback and always open to new ideas. If you still would like for me to write a piece for you, let me know. I am not good at fanfiction, so please do not ask me to do that. Other than that, have a good day.

Thanks again

 

[AtDuskIThinkofU]

Hey! So reading this made my heart hurt for you(even tho I don't know you), and I felt I needed to respond. I know depression is hard. I've watched friends go through it, going so far that they hurt themselves. And it's scary when you can't do anything. But I've also watched friends rise above it. You say that you're not sure if you'll ever get rid of it, but there is always a way out.

I don't know the extent of your situation. I do know hard stuff is going to happen to us, like how you lost a friend. And I know how that feels too. Trust me. We can't let it drag us down tho. That doesn't mean we shouldn't mourn, not at all. But we also have to move on.

I'm no expert, but I do have a little advice on how to keep yourself from feeling too down.

--never try to handle it on your own. Your friends/fam will always be there to help you through anything that you go through. They want absolutely the best for you and are genuinely concerned for you.
--focus on positive things. Only thinking about negative things is going to make you negative. Think of the happy things in your life. Little things, like how beautiful the sky is, or how your coffee was great this morning. Maybe you can start writing things your thankful for in a journal, so whenever you start getting down you can go back and look on what you have.
--don't do things that will bring you down. This corresponds with the previous tip, but do things that make you happy. Going to the beach, listening to music, reading, drinking coffee, hanging with your pet. The Sky's the limit.

I think you get the idea. If you want to try it, I have this playlist that I listen to to lift my spirits. https://open.spotify.com/user/ze5u8ckoagrpjnnr98hw7wniw/playlist/3O9PxHVYK6aJ6yq2e6gILx

Here's some memes to make you feel better.