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Help/Support ► I wanted to ask you guys about something.



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Okay well I dont really know where to start and i suppose a lot of the following story might not be relevent to the problem but it matters to me so here goes: I used to have a large group of friends. One friend was my best friend and we did everything together and I told her everything and we talked all the time and relied on eachother for everything and would do anything for eachother. And she started to drift away from our large group of friends and I almost felt like she thought that she was superior to them or more mature perhaps. While I still wanted to hang out with them she felt sort of left out. So I started hanging out with her and I got sort of disconnected from my former group. I'm still friends with them but not nearly as close as I could be. And then a new year began and we met older kids and they asked me if I wanted to do drugs sometime and I didnt want to and well I told my best friend cause we were close and she is boy crazy to be plain and simple and she idolized those boys. So she took it into her own to arrange a time to "try it" know ing that I dont want to and then not even telling me about it at all and being all secretive. Finally the day before the actual event shall we say she tells me about it saying I should come.

Well I dont want to go but I care about her and I dont want her alone with these older boys. I tell her no and that i dont think she should go and she says I dont care what you think Im going whatever the case. ; (

Before last period the next day she looked at me with a kind of nervous face and said pleaseee go. And just seeing her all worried like that I felt obligated to go no matter whether I wanted to or not. So I went to the kids house and at first I passed up the stuff they were offering me but then I just felt stupid sitting there and the pressure got the better of me I guess.

That visit was followed by more little get togethers and I grew farther and farther away from my original group of friends and even though I didnt want to go she would guilt me into going and finally I said I'm done I dont want anything to do with this anymore. And I just put my foot down which I am very proud of, I'm glad I did.

Anyways my friend continued to go and she actually bought maurijauna and came to school high everyday so when I would meet up with her I couldnt even talk to her. It was jsut really sad for me. Cause I was just losing my bestest friend in the whole universe. everything she did was for drugs and those boys, I think she was trying to impress them. She got really messed up one night and just totaly put herself out there I guess and ended up fooling around with one of the older boys. I felt somewhat responsible because if I was there that wouldn't have happened but since then I glad I wasnt there.

At that point I hadnt talked to her for the entire weekend and it was just like bam all this stuff that I didnt agree with for one thing and now she was kind of with this boy. And she told me it felt awkward and she didnt like it and that she would have to tell him that she doesnt want to be with him and it was just not what she wanted to do.

since this point I havent really really (i mean like how we used to) talked her. Because she was with this boy and she never did tell him what she wanted to originally but I guess shes okay with him now if not great. Now they are always together. And i can never just have my best friend cause hes always around and even when we planned a day to hang out together she called him and talked to him on the fu**ing phone right in front of me or just says things like oh I just want to go home and see ___ I just want to be with him all the time. Sometimes she just makes me feel like shit cause i hadnt seen her for a month and she sees her boyfriend almost everyday and talks to him on the phone everyday anyways. And then when we have an event to go to he tags along and then I dont even end up getting to hang out or talk to her. I just wish she would tell me shes bring ing him along but instead I think oh this will be nice I will get to spend some time with her and then she shows up with him. Also after getting together with him all my trust in her is gone cause she'll say things about me I dont want her to tell people and its just rude.

I put her in front of my other social life and now its like she doesnt have any fu**ing time for me.

I usually just stay home, work out and play video games. Ive noticed that Im kind of an angrier person now too.. and I just feel sad a lot. Luckily I love my family and my home life is good but with the new school year starting.. i dont know.

i forgot what im trying to say...

-megan.
 

Morning Twilight

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Hey. Well I'm proud of you for putting your foot down. Good job. The problem with your friend, there's nothing you can do. You can't force her, you can't change her. She has to do that. The only thing you can really do is just be there for her, be there when she needs you. I suggest just making some new friends, hanging out with some new people. Hopefully your friend will realize a few mistakes and come back, but there's nothing you really can do for her except not aid her bad decisions and support her good ones.

If you ever need to talk to someone. Go to www.freewebs.com/helmofsalvation
They have tons of people who just want to help, so post in the forum ur question or problem and they'll get back to you.

The anger and stuff sounds a bit like minor depression to put it bluntly, but most people go through something like this in their lives, so it really is not uncommmon. You have nothing to worry about.
 
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thank you very much.

i forgot to mention she doesnt do drugs anymore but it is still apart of her life being that her boyfriend does do them even when he tells her hes quiting.

but thank you again i appreciate it. really.
 
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no im glad she has a boyfriend. its made her alot happier its just i wish she wouldnt just forget about me. When she first started getting together with him she would just ditch me when we usually met somewhere after school and she wouldnt even tell me she wouldnt be meeting me after school. I just felt totally replaced in a matter of days. We had a rough patch of time because she was wondering why I wasnt coming up to her and him in the halls anymore and the reason was I was sick of being harrassed because he has this awful stereotyping thing for people who play video games. So I would be playing my DS and then Id have to hear a load of crap from him passive aggressively patronizing me to my face and having my best friend sit there and laugh. And she just totally told him something private about myself right in front of me that I told her not to tell anyone, so i dont know.. the trust is just gone and I have no one really to talk to about stuff.

so sorry i guess that was a longer explanation then you probably asked for.
 

XigbarGun!

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I would confront her, tell her you had drugs to be with her, tell her about it, if she doesn't care, how the hell is she your best friend? Just leave her, move on to other friends. make sure they aren't druggies.
=]
 

Zesty

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yeah it was definately a good thing u stopped
my older brother did that stuff and he looked like an ass more than half the time
as for your friend
tell her how you feel and if she doesnt listen or doesnt care you might want to let go
if she doesnt want to hang with you and spend time with you the best thing you can do for your sake is break what little friendship with her u have left and just move on
it may make her release that what she's doing is sick more than likely if it keeps going on she'd OD
but for ur sanity i suggest that u break ur friendship with her


EDIT- dont worry about the lenght
the main thing is that u got ur problem out in the open
 

XigbarGun!

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or you could stop being so self-centered

I severely hope that wasn't aimed at me.
I don't think that having drugs just to be abandoned means being self-centered. it means that the poster is a great friend, but this other girl IS self-centered.
 

XigbarGun!

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Yeah. XD

Just hopefully, this will all be better for you! Feel free to pm me if you want me to talk about it with you more!

KeyToDestiny, can I be your friend XD.
 

Athletics Legend

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Shes not a very good friend then if she forgets about you...Say no to drugs, what ever you do...Hope everything works out for you...
 
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thanks guys

actually i was kinda wondering if i was being kind of self centered.. i mean i suppose i am in some ways but its hard. It was such a fast transition.

its weird because she still wants thinks we are the best of friends and she acts like she wants to hangout with me and then when we get together she doesnt use the time to connect with each other like friends do. she literrally called her boyfriend two hours after we had gotten together to spend the day shopping and what not. I was like wow. you cant even go the morning and afternoon without talking to him after not seeing me or talking to me for over a month? i mean am i over reacting or is that just ridiculous? then she called him at least two more times that day.. and complained how she just wanted to go home and spend time with him. it just made me feel terrible.

i wish i could tell her that but i just feel restricted because we dont see eye to eye anymore and i dont even feel like getting into a big fight when we dont get to hang out that much.

well thanks guys, its just good to let some steam off. Im going to try to get back in with some other friends or new ones.. its just hard to become comfortable and close with someone else because i was the most comfortable and close to her than anyone i have ever been in my whole life. School starts in a couple days. Im optimistic.

thanks again.
even violent_anger.
 

XigbarGun!

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^ You're not helping!

No, you're not being self-centered. It's natural. Although, maybe, just maybe, you and her "boyfriend" can become friends? Then it wouldn't be half as bad. If she acts like your her best friend still, tell her if she is, she'd spend some time with you. If she fights, she isn't worth it.
 
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