- Joined
- May 28, 2015
- Messages
- 1,712
- Awards
- 13
I mean thinking JK Rowling isn't a transphobe IS stupid and ignorant *shrugs*
General ► I'm better now
- Thread starter WaltK
- Start date
|
REGISTER TO REMOVE ADS |
|
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2012
- Messages
- 3,772
- Awards
- 37
With family, I've generally come to the same place that I have with people in general. It's not my job to change somebody else's mind, God is the one who has to open somebody's eyes or prick their heart. I don't bring subjects up, but will give my opinion when asked and that's all. I try not to do the whole back-and-forth anymore, most of the time it becomes about ego than anything else.
Plus, in this age, there's this whole mentality of "owning the libs" which is a great deal like online trolling in real life. Responding to it or feeding it is just giving people what they want, there's no way to "win" with trolling because baiting people into arguments is the only goal, not sincere conversation.
Plus, in this age, there's this whole mentality of "owning the libs" which is a great deal like online trolling in real life. Responding to it or feeding it is just giving people what they want, there's no way to "win" with trolling because baiting people into arguments is the only goal, not sincere conversation.
For starters, EP, you have my deepest condolences regarding this exchange with your family. Thats a tough place to be and I wouldn't wish this kind of discourse with immediate family on anyone.
Regarding Rowling; Timeline is important. Surviving domestic abuse prior to her career as a writer and any philanthropy that followed that, just gets muddied with a back track record even up to recent years with her deplorable comments and opinions towards the trans-community.
For you big guy, I'll say this, you're not here to convince or change anyone's minds (in the family) at the end of the day. You brought information about Rowling that they loosely chose not to consume, research, or dive into as thoroughly as the works she's created with an evident bias. Justifications, excuses, dismissive behavior towards (in your family's eyes) a notable individual with an "impactful vision" kinda difficult to open your eyes to the bullshit you encroach upon their true character.
I sincerely hope this doesn't get you down on them for too long, save for your losing you shit in this instance they don't seem like a terrible bunch. Calling them stupid, ignorant, or vice versa isn't where I would've expected they attempt to crucify you, thats extremely light considering the wide variety of vocabulary at our disposal to because say the same thing and sound alarmingly worse (lol).
Regarding Rowling; Timeline is important. Surviving domestic abuse prior to her career as a writer and any philanthropy that followed that, just gets muddied with a back track record even up to recent years with her deplorable comments and opinions towards the trans-community.
For you big guy, I'll say this, you're not here to convince or change anyone's minds (in the family) at the end of the day. You brought information about Rowling that they loosely chose not to consume, research, or dive into as thoroughly as the works she's created with an evident bias. Justifications, excuses, dismissive behavior towards (in your family's eyes) a notable individual with an "impactful vision" kinda difficult to open your eyes to the bullshit you encroach upon their true character.
I sincerely hope this doesn't get you down on them for too long, save for your losing you shit in this instance they don't seem like a terrible bunch. Calling them stupid, ignorant, or vice versa isn't where I would've expected they attempt to crucify you, thats extremely light considering the wide variety of vocabulary at our disposal to because say the same thing and sound alarmingly worse (lol).
I'm grateful to all of you for the kind words of advice. I just wanted to let you all know that much, if anything else.
Sadly, my relationship with my family since that day has only improved to the point that I’m being civil, but otherwise distant toward them.
Any words between me and my mum have just been the bare minimum ("what do you want for dinner"), without any of the pleasantries that would normally come naturally to us: I no longer say goodnight to her, I no longer compulsively say "I love you" before I leave the house, I no longer just have spontaneous chit-chats with her, and she hasn't even tried to challenge me on it. Normally, she would try to break through for a reconciliation, to better understand me. But no, she just seems to be letting me get on with it, which, to be honest, is alarmingly unlike her.
I'm here, meanwhile, out of the house, and down the pub (not drinking alcohol, no need to worry about that), just so I can get away from them, with the anger and underlying guilt just swirling around my mind. Anger at my family's ignorance, guilt at how strained my relationship with mum is, despite everything she’s done for me, despite that big sack of Christmas presents she lovingly gave me just a week ago, which reverts to anger at how my brother had the gull to use that against me, displaying the very same attitude that my family use in regards to JK Rowling: that any good one has done in the past gives them a free pass to being called out on their bullshit. (EDIT: recycling straight back to guilt over how I even just typed that last part).
I still, perhaps foolishly, hold out a slither of hope that maybe, just maybe, during this distant period, my mum has secretly been using this as an opportunity to educate herself, but the longer it gets, the less I feel inclined to hope.
Sadly, my relationship with my family since that day has only improved to the point that I’m being civil, but otherwise distant toward them.
Any words between me and my mum have just been the bare minimum ("what do you want for dinner"), without any of the pleasantries that would normally come naturally to us: I no longer say goodnight to her, I no longer compulsively say "I love you" before I leave the house, I no longer just have spontaneous chit-chats with her, and she hasn't even tried to challenge me on it. Normally, she would try to break through for a reconciliation, to better understand me. But no, she just seems to be letting me get on with it, which, to be honest, is alarmingly unlike her.
I'm here, meanwhile, out of the house, and down the pub (not drinking alcohol, no need to worry about that), just so I can get away from them, with the anger and underlying guilt just swirling around my mind. Anger at my family's ignorance, guilt at how strained my relationship with mum is, despite everything she’s done for me, despite that big sack of Christmas presents she lovingly gave me just a week ago, which reverts to anger at how my brother had the gull to use that against me, displaying the very same attitude that my family use in regards to JK Rowling: that any good one has done in the past gives them a free pass to being called out on their bullshit. (EDIT: recycling straight back to guilt over how I even just typed that last part).
I still, perhaps foolishly, hold out a slither of hope that maybe, just maybe, during this distant period, my mum has secretly been using this as an opportunity to educate herself, but the longer it gets, the less I feel inclined to hope.
Last edited:
I hope things will be better this year!
Hey. So, I’m good.
I’m all good now. Thanks guys. Really.
I’m all good now. Thanks guys. Really.
Another soul whose existence has been affected by the WASP that is J.K Rowling, a veritable witch in every sense of the word. You have my sympathy, if that's any consolation.
Woah this is such a good perspective to anyone with a similar situation. I had been barely realizing this these past months. During these past holidays I too was in a tense situation with my family where now it's been weeks where we cut all communication, without getting into many details yep, I had been noticing that the root of my rage always tend to go beyond the actual topic was taking place when angry comments sparked......... *sighs* new year new resolutions and I guess I need to address whatever is inside me that causes tense emotions and stop having them apparently on cue for when things go south
