Help/Support ► i'm disgusted at myself...

[Allister Rose]

What? Should've talked to him about it before you did anything? "Hey Imma go have some sex with this dude", "Ok hun, cya later tonight." If talking to him about it before you did it would've prevented this then you guys have some weird-ass relationship going on.

you're right. i have no idea why i said that. ugh i'm so stupid...

 

[king_mickey rule]

you're right. i have no idea why i said that. ugh i'm so stupid...

Look what you did was wrong, you know it, I know it, but don't be too harsh on yourself. Ok, you made a mistake but your obviously very sorry for it and he wants to talk to you. Say him the exact same thing you said here.

And mistakes are made to learn from them, so (not trying to sound harsh here, that's not what I'm trying to do) instead of acting like your a piece of dirt who doesn't have the right to be forgiven etc. start learning from this situation.

He wants to talk to you, you even thought he wouldn't talk to you et voila there he is, he wants to talk. So as I said before, don't be too hard for yourself, say the exact same thing to him as you said here and if he listens it's a good sign (he wanting to talk is also a good sign).

But don't think it will be solved with one talk. With this talk he'll probably try to 'understand' your point of view. After that you have to rebuild your relationship by going somewhere (fun) or maybe the place where you first met (kinda a symbolical meaning of starting over), you'll have some ideas.

Hope I helped you out a bit

 

[Esso]

Look what you did was wrong, you know it, I know it, but don't be too harsh on yourself. Ok, you made a mistake but your obviously very sorry for it and he wants to talk to you. Say him the exact same thing you said here.

And mistakes are made to learn from them, so (not trying to sound harsh here, that's not what I'm trying to do) instead of acting like your a piece of dirt who doesn't have the right to be forgiven etc. start learning from this situation.

He wants to talk to you, you even thought he wouldn't talk to you et voila there he is, he wants to talk. So as I said before, don't be too hard for yourself, say the exact same thing to him as you said here and if he listens it's a good sign (he wanting to talk is also a good sign).

But don't think it will be solved with one talk. With this talk he'll probably try to 'understand' your point of view. After that you have to rebuild your relationship by going somewhere (fun) or maybe the place where you first met (kinda a symbolical meaning of starting over), you'll have some ideas.

Hope I helped you out a bit

I second this. When you realize that what you've done was wrong and feel repent for it, it's best to try to set things straight. And since you mention you have some Christian religious views try to see what advice the Bible can give you too.

 

[Ip Man]

Move on, find someone else. And let him move on, and find someone else. Once trust is broken, it's never the same again (speaking from personal experience).

Quite frankly, if I were him, I'd probably forgive you. But like someone said, it doesnt mean I'd get back with you.

Move on, start over. There's plenty of fish in the sea.

 

[king_mickey rule]

Move on, find someone else. And let him move on, and find someone else. Once trust is broken, it's never the same again (speaking from personal experience).

Quite frankly, if I were him, I'd probably forgive you. But like someone said, it doesnt mean I'd get back with you.

Move on, start over. There's plenty of fish in the sea.

Well I don't agree with that, there are people who actually come out stronger out of a situation like this one (sorry if this confuses you allister). Really it depends on the situation, it can be like you said but allister and her friend can also have a stronger relationship after this.

You never know, and that's why (talking to allister now) you really have to talk to him and say what you said here, you may be happy you did afterwards

 

[Prajna]

Re: i'm digusted at myself...

lrn2capitalizeletters.

Kthnxbai.

Again, another very off topic post. You're on a roll with these.

I'm not really one for relationships, Allister, but you should just grow the guts, call this guy up and tell him you're sorry. You won't feel good unless you do and the longer you wait the worse it's going to be when that moment actually arises. Most importantly you need to take this mistake of yours and learn from it. Mistakes are always forgivable if one has the courage to admit them.

 

[Allister Rose]

IN an hour i'm going to his house and talk it over. I will try. I know putting me down isn't the bet thing, but i really can't help it sometimes.
EDIT:actually i'm just going to go now

 

[king_mickey rule]

IN an hour i'm going to his house and talk it over. I will try. I know putting me down isn't the bet thing, but i really can't help it sometimes.
EDIT:actually i'm just going to go now

OK, tell us how it went 'kay? n.n

 

[Memory Master]

IN an hour i'm going to his house and talk it over. I will try. I know putting me down isn't the bet thing, but i really can't help it sometimes.
EDIT:actually i'm just going to go now

Good luck Allister, i'm going to be praying for you. I know you'll do the right thing.

 

[Weeaboo]

IN an hour i'm going to his house and talk it over. I will try. I know putting me down isn't the bet thing, but i really can't help it sometimes.
EDIT:actually i'm just going to go now

Good luck.

Hope it works out.

 

[Allister Rose]

thanks for the help and support. I went to his house and he was angry/sad at me. I just let him talk and i started to cry too...after an hour of listening to him and me trying to explain myself, he forgives me and doesn't want our relationship to end just yet. We talked for a few more hours than went out and went back to his house. I stayed at his house for the night, so that's why i wasn't able to answer until now.

I grew m uch closer to him. He seem to be just like my other ex. but it seems that he lost some feelings for me....so i think overall it worked out. i know i'm not suppose to but this hate for myself, is still with me, and i'm sure i'll get over it soon

 

[tangerine]

You deserve to feel guilty. I'm surprised he forgave you, because I certainly wouldn't.

Yeah, I know this post doesn't help and it's mean. Too bad. That's how it is.

 

[Allister Rose]

You deserve to feel guilty. I'm surprised he forgave you, because I certainly wouldn't.

Yeah, I know this post doesn't help and it's mean. Too bad. That's how it is.

well he didn't forgive me so easily. he did yell at me, and i took it and said sorry in between the spaces.

EDIT: i know i deserve to feel guilty and for the rest of my life. But it's more to it than that. i feel like a total whore even after being forgiven....and friends are trying to convince me that i'm not.

 

[nicoleohbugga]

Re: i'm digusted at myself...

Again, another very off topic post. You're on a roll with these.

I'm not really one for relationships, Allister, but you should just grow the guts, call this guy up and tell him you're sorry. You won't feel good unless you do and the longer you wait the worse it's going to be when that moment actually arises. Most importantly you need to take this mistake of yours and learn from it. Mistakes are always forgivable if one has the courage to admit them.

I agree. It's not your choice if the guy talks to you after or not, but you should still apologize and just hope for the best.

 

[Max]

something kinda similar happened to me a while back, but i was the first guy who got hurt. uh, its a really pooty feeling and you should probably call and say youre sorry and try to talk about it, because if hes like me he'll probably start to resent you and what youve done.

EDIT: well that was my input, but shortly after i posted i saw your post with the updated story, and all i have to say is you are damn lucky that guy is so forgiving.

 

[Memory Master]

thanks for the help and support. I went to his house and he was angry/sad at me. I just let him talk and i started to cry too...after an hour of listening to him and me trying to explain myself, he forgives me and doesn't want our relationship to end just yet. We talked for a few more hours than went out and went back to his house. I stayed at his house for the night, so that's why i wasn't able to answer until now.

I grew m uch closer to him. He seem to be just like my other ex. but it seems that he lost some feelings for me....so i think overall it worked out. i know i'm not suppose to but this hate for myself, is still with me, and i'm sure i'll get over it soon

Allister I am very proud of you, you did the right thing and it looks like it's turning out for the best. You said you grew much closer to him and that is a wonderfull thing.

And Allister it's okay if you still hate yourself. Look, I know that feeling, I feel that hate toward myself when I mess up with my girlfriend. I mean she has schizophrenia and sometimes I say something that hurts her or makes me feel bad and I hate myself for it, and I keep that self hate for a couple of weeks and I always try to make things upto her, sometimes going further than what she would expect. Doing the things I know make her happy. And in the end she and I grow closer.

So Allister, keep things up, eventualy this self hate you have, if it doesn't go away then if this guy really loves you, I know he'll try to do what he can to heal your hate, atleast that's something I know I would do.

So i'm still praying for you and I hope everything turns out well.

 

[king_mickey rule]

thanks for the help and support. I went to his house and he was angry/sad at me. I just let him talk and i started to cry too...after an hour of listening to him and me trying to explain myself, he forgives me and doesn't want our relationship to end just yet. We talked for a few more hours than went out and went back to his house. I stayed at his house for the night, so that's why i wasn't able to answer until now.

I grew m uch closer to him. He seem to be just like my other ex. but it seems that he lost some feelings for me....so i think overall it worked out. i know i'm not suppose to but this hate for myself, is still with me, and i'm sure i'll get over it soon

I'm really happy for you that he forives you! But I also hope you've learned a valuable lesson here. And you don't need to hate yourself for this forever, that's the whole point of he forgiving, he wants you 2 to move on from the past. As I said before don't be too harsh on yourself even though what you did was wrong.

 

[KeyofEvil'sBane]

Allister, the fact that you feel so bad for what you did really only proves how much you love and care about this guy. Congrats on the good outcome

 

[Allister Rose]

well thank you everyone...i gre a bit more confidence just reading your comments. I think everything worked out now.

 

[Memory Master]

well thank you everyone...i gre a bit more confidence just reading your comments. I think everything worked out now.

I'm happy for you Allister. Remember, you ever need anyone to talk to or advice or anything, i'm here for ya. I'll keep you in my prayers.