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You keep losing me. X__x
Maybe, at the beginning, you could give us a sort of prolouge to what the Keyblade Wars is about?
'Cause I don't understand what Leader has to do with ANYTHING. =O
Blindfolded-Unknown said:((WARNING KINGDOM HEARTS SECRET ENDING SPOILERS))
WARNING THERE WILL BE GRAMMAR ISSUES. (Sorry, my grammar sucks)
Chapter 1: Epilogue
The Leader be approaching soon." said the female knights approaching the Male knight ontop of the Gummi Ship. Her armor being made of pure iron with muscel figure build into it making her look stronger then she appeared her, helmet was also made of pure iron only it had a black visor going welded into it that she could see out of but, nobody could see in.
"How long?" Asked the Male Knight he letting his large keyblade fall from his shoulder to the gummi ships metal surface taking a few steps towards her letting sparks fly behind him. He wore similar armor to her, only it was made for a male and it was bigger. The big diffrence was on his helmet there were two shafts going from his ears to five inches in the air.
"He will be here soon! It doesn't matter how long!" Cried the female knight turning away disgusted as if he had just insulted everything she cared for in life.
The male knight stepped off the gummi ship starting down the path, sorrounded by keyblade. The female turned around and noticed him already walking she shocked for a moment but, began to walk a few feet away from him. The Male Knight's keyblade was trailing behind him in the sand leaving a trail that soon dissapeared from the wind blowing sand over it.
They approached the crossroads three keyblade sticking out in the middle of the feild. The female knight began to walk quicker to get ahead of the male as another knight came into sight. The female nodded toward him and the new male nodded back as they all approached the three keyblades.
"Are we ready?" Asked the new male his armor being the same as the other male's. Only his armor seemed to have been in more battles then the other's it being rusted and the two shafts sticking from his helmet have been cut off most likely in battle.
"With the War, we have little choice." Said the female gripping hold of the keyblade with brown flowers all around it, having color in it prime most likely but now it was rusted and old.
The two males nodded and gripped the other two keyblade. The one that was standing on the Gummi Ship before pulled his keyblade out first letting his large one fall into the sand next to him. The male looked it over, it having a very simple yellow hilt with a metal blade in the form of a key. Two words filled the knights head as he pulled it from the ground. "Kingdom Key"
The other male pulled his keyblade from the ground, it being more intresting. Having a batwing on the end of the black shaft, and since it was black didn't show the rust as must. The hilt was full of spikes pointing out of it. A name also filled his head "Way to the Dawn."
The female took a deep breath and gripped the last keyblade pulling it from the ground, it having flowers at the end for the key. She looked it over it being yellow she could just make it out from the rust and the hilt was filled with brown flowers as she had noticed before. But, when she drew it, the Keyblades name did not fill her head, instead a girl's name. "Kairi."
At the exact same moment they noticed what made these keyblades diffrent from all the other keyblade in the massive feild. These three had chains. "The Kingdom Key" had a silver mouse head dangling off its chain. "The Way to the Dawn" had a black batwing dangling from the chain. And the unamed keyblade had a poupo fruit paper figurine. They all seemed to be untouched by time being in perfect condition.
The knights then all looked up to see a glimpse of someone coming down one of the roads. He had a black cloak on and looked like he had his hood on. The cloak looked as if it was burning through the blowing sand with peices flying off then returning to the cloak. The knights all looked at eachother knowing that this must be the man, that had told them so much but they had never met. "The Leader"
To be Continued...
Alright, everybody. Give me some feedback please.
Destiny_Seeker said:wow sorry man dont mean to hate but im just not liken this fic i really see where that one chick was coming from about you maybe practicing some more then coming back and writing a new fic. i mean you seem like an okay guy and all and ive seen a lot worse but this is pretty awful especially that last chapter, hey but atleast your trying and i gotta say i respect you for that
Destiny_Seeker said:complete chapter? or complete story? both sound like good ideas i mean youve got more hope then a lot of guys who try this but i dont kno i think starting with a whole new plot thats more original might gain you more intrest but its just a suggestion you took what i said really well tho so i respect ya even more for that, and if you did decide to write a new fic id give u some pointers if you needed an idea or something
Mr. said:You're not the worst, dude.
Far from it.
Ziphiroth isn't that good, either. =/ Worse than you, in fact.
But I've seen worse than that, too.
Blindfolded-Unknown said:Yeah, but I think my plot is sinking me. Im gonna attempt to rack my brain to think of a plot.
Destiny_Seeker said:yeah hes right i mean even though this fic is pretty bad at least its some what literate that ziphiroth dude doesnt make any sense what so ever but sure ill totally review your idea for your new fic when you send it