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kh/kh2 jokes again!!!!



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UsagiOkami

The Random Rabbit
Joined
Mar 23, 2005
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Noting that sanity is a point of view... Mine is s
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH*laghs uncontolable with kero nxet to unkonw212*hahhahahyahahahahhahahahahahah uh man I wish KL saw these joke's
lol you know i'm not sure thats such a good idea! LOL!! he might not take to it!
sora:why is it that now the members on this thread are beating me up?
BHK:i know, and i'm no theft!
sora: oh well it's ot like we are not used to it right?
BHK: oh so true.
sora:yeah like the whole pick up sticks thing.
kairi: oh yeah, and the whole diary thing!
riku:hee hee!
kairi:i'm going to cream you riku!
sora:you know, speaking of the whole diary incedent, when is hidden going to make the ansem thing on opera?
ansem:grrrrr!
 

black acid

Heros need Villains
Joined
Apr 26, 2005
Messages
1,413
Location
in some other forum, pissing people off
kerobaroes said:
lol! i love it when people make geiko comercials! there just so silly!
kero:and now for a story, today we will hear the tale of the three little fools and the big bad ansem.
kero:sora kairi and riku all went out to see who could hide from ansem the longest.
riku:now why would we do that kero?
kero:be quite and let me finish the story.
sora:someones grumpy.
kero:well as i was saying, riku hid under a rock and-
riku:hey! i don't hide under rocks!
kero:be quite! as i was saying! riku hid under a rock, and then ansem found him and that was that, riku lost the game.
riku: *grumble*
kero:then kairi hid under a stick and-
kairi:hey!
kero:be quite i'm trying to tell the story! dang i hate it when the story people can hear the narorator!
kairi:i hate it when you narorate!
kero:why you little! anyways, kairi hid under a stick and ansem found her and that was that, kairi lost the game. now sora had to stay away from ansem and he won the game.
sora:uh oh, i'm in trouble!
kero:sora hid under a table in ansem's HQ.
sora: oh crud!
kero:yeah crud indeed, you know how the story goes sora. ansem finds you and you lose the game! and they all lived happily ever after because they were hiding from him but ansem never killed them!
sora kairi and riku: YAY!!!
ansem:kero that wasn't in the script! i was to pay you to let me take them out!
kero: well if you wanted to take them out, why didn't you just ask them to go out on a date!
ansem: this is what i get for working with teenagers!
kero:no this is what you get for being out bid.
ansem:?
*kairi sora and riku hand over payment*
kairi sora and riku: HA!!!
ansem: ok that's it! i'm going home and plotting all of your demises! and it shall be called kingdom hearts 2!! bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
kero: and that is why ansem is plotting revenge! the end......do i get payed now?


ok now i have a question, why is it that when i posted it, two of my Os turned into this? >:eek: why is that, did i trigger something?







HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


OH GOD *DIES AND LAGHS IN HEVEN*HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA


UUH HUH UH....HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA


OH MAN THAT WAS FUNY:)
 

rikubaka67

Member
Joined
May 17, 2005
Messages
221
Awards
3
thanks.....i'm actually starting to put jokes up! to my surprise.

ur jokes r pretty funny, unlike mine!!

*Sora, Riku, and Kairi are getting ready 4 something. Sora is about 2 take a shower. He gets the water ready and starts 2 get in, then stops*
Sora: hey! do u guys kno if i was getting out or going in?
*Kairi is going upstairs 2 get dressed, then stops*
Kairi: hey, do either of u guys kno if i wuz going up or coming down?
Riku: im glad that im not as stupid as they r!
*he knocks on wood, just to make sure*
Riku: ill help u both as soon as i c whos at the door!

that wuz a varation of a joke i heard, but its funnier in its original context!
 

fantasygurl1227

I'm not normal, thanks for noticing
Joined
Apr 16, 2005
Messages
2,147
Age
32
Location
In a world where anything is possible
i didn't get that one
**goofy is acting very strange**
sora: hey donald
donald: yeah
sora: i know goofy has a problem but technically he is a dog right
donald: yeah but he still shouldn't be scooting his a$$ around the floor and howling like an idiot
sora: yeeeeeeaaaaaaah
sora: well ducks sh*t everywhere and u do seem to sh*t like every 2 hours so mabey its just his instinct
donald: i do not sh*t every few hours.......can u hold that thought
sora: yeah sure:rolleyes:
**BHK comes in**
BHK: does goofy always do that
sora: neeeeewwp
BHK: u guess are F*cking weird
donald: ok i'm back
**goofy stops**
sora: gg-g-oofy u okay?
goofy: hyuck my a$$ itched and i couldn't get my hand down my pants
BHK: ewwwwwwww
BHk: that could be because your hands are the size of watermelons
sora: well i am glad thats settled
donald:yeah me too
sora: glad i don't have any weird habits
donald: sora u meen the habits besides reading the back of cereal boxes, collecting different kinds of jackets, and playing with rubber bands
sora:.........heheeh
BHK:....this is akward
 

rikubaka67

Member
Joined
May 17, 2005
Messages
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sora u meen the habits besides reading the back of cereal boxes, collecting different kinds of jackets, and playing with rubber bands

hey, i play w/ rubber bands and read the backs of cereal bokes!!! LOL, IM JK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That wuz funny!!!
 

Hidden

A boy named Crow
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Hah! I found it! Hoping to actually have a good and funny joke thread this time fantasy girl? Well give up now- Hidden has returned, bringing all those boring stories and unfunny jokes that made me oh-so-popular on the last thread! I still have no idea why the last thread was trashed (heh, was it something I said?)- a shame really, it had some good stuff.

If no one minds, I might over the course of the week repost my two "The Embarrassing Truth" stories (sorry to those of you who didn't like them, but to write any farther I would have to have everyone know the background). I'm actually going to attempt to write up to 3 stories this week (that'll be fun) because after that chances are fairly good that I won't be able to visit any of these forums, at least for a very good while. Until that time, please refrain from cheering and celebrating in anticipation of my abscence. I know it's tempting, but the time will come soon enough, and there are only 3 more stories to put up with (if I'm even able to write that many so quickly).

So, since I have such limited time, I'm actually going to put up my original "The Embarrassing Truth- Real Good Buddies" right now without asking anyone's opinion (what, you thought I might actually listen to what you people had to say? Hah!). Here it is folks, the story from its sad, twisted beginning. "Dear Diary" probably comes up Sunday, and if I'm feeling really productive (which would be the first time in my entire life that I have) you might even see "I Feel Like a Woman" by sometime late Monday. Laugh out loud. Or cringe in horror. Whichever works for you.
 

Hidden

A boy named Crow
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The Embarrassing Truth
“Real Good Buddies”

Riku, wearing the blindfold (he thought it made him look sexy) walked on the beach. Sora and Kairi were kissing.
“OH MY-! Can’t you two get a room!?!” Kairi and Sora shot apart. “…can’t leave you two alone for two minutes…” Riku mumbled.
Kairi fumed. “Maybe if you weren’t following us around and spying all the time!”
“Yeah! You’re always acting as if you’re our mother…er, mothers…umm.” Sora trailed off, unable to find a way to make what he just said not sound sick and wrong.
Kairi knew why Riku really was upset though (and why he was always shadowing them… or more specifically- Sora). She decided that it was time to expose Sora’s close friend.
“Actually, what you’re really acting like is a jealous lover.”
Sora- “Hah! Yeah! You follow us around, complain when we want to be alone, make fun of us when you see us even sitting together, I mean…Wait a second, that really is what you act like!”
Kairi- “You know Sora, I don’t think Riku really likes the fact that we’re dating.”
Sora moved a bit closer to Kairi. “Hey man, you’re not jealous that I’m going out with Kairi are you?”
“Oh, I don’t think I’m the one he’s jealous about,” she said lightly. Sora’s blinked. Seeing this was too much for his simple mind, Kairi switched tracks. “That’s not the only strange thing about you, is it Riku?”
“What do you mean?” Riku managed to ask in an almost steady voice, his face pale.
“Oh, it’s nothing, just a few odd details about you. Like the fact that you always seem to keep up with all the latest fashion trends,…”
“I like to look good.”
“…you’re really emotional,…”
“Guys have feelings too!”
“…and you follow Sora around practically everywhere.
“That’s only ‘cause Sora’s… a good friend!” Riku blurted out, entirely too loud. Sora thought a moment.
“Then there’s all those slumber parties…” he began,
“What’s wrong with slumber parties?!?”
“…that you only invite me and the guys to.”
“Well … er… um…” Riku was floundering horribly for an excuse, “My mom doesn’t allow me to invite girls over!!”
“Then why do you invite at least 5 over during the day where you all gossip and giggle? Oh, I see! You’ve got a posse!” Kairi said sweetly.
“THEY ARE NOT MY POSSE!”
“Yuh-huh.” Riku started to get up, trying to escape, but it was too late.
“…always watching those soap operas…” “My mom makes me!!”
“…favorite movie is the Titanic…” “It’s a good movie!”
“…and that hair…” “It makes me look sexy!” “…yeah, to guys maybe…”
“…and what about all those posters of Ernest Borgnine you’ve got hanging in your room?”
Er…!” Riku didn’t have a response to that one. “ALL RIGHT! I’m gay! And I’m in love! With SORA! Is that what you wanted to hear?!?”
Sora (now sitting very close to Kairi) said, “Well… you know… it’s still cool and all… right? I mean, you and me, we’re still friends.” (big emphasis on the word “friends”).
Riku looked straight at Sora (or at least, Sora thought he was looking straight at him. Hard to tell with that stupid blindfold he always wore). “I’m better for you, you know.” Sora blanched, scooting even closer to Kairi, practically glued to her side now. “It’s true. Kairi there, sure she plays the sweet innocent little girl well enough, but she’s got some secrets too.” He was grinning now. He probably also had a maniacal gleam in his eyes, but again- the blindfold. “And you’d never even guess it! Heck, I never would have guessed some of the things that go on in sweet, loving, gentle little Kairi’s mind! But it’s all just a part of her act you see! And there’s only one –heehee- one person that she tells all of this stuff to.” Riku started giggling uncontrollably as he now stood over his two friends. Sora thought he had just completely lost it, but looking over, he saw that Kairi’s face was a mask of horror.
“You- you don’t know what you’re talking about!” she stammered at Riku. “You’re deranged!”
“Deranged? Me? Hee-hee, no, we’ve already been through this. I’m gay. You’re the deranged one Kairi.”
“Where’s your proof?!?”
“Proof? Oh yeah, I’ve got plenty of proof, trust me. A whole book’s worth of things!”
Kairi paled. “You didn’t.”
“Of course, it would have taken me years to write all the stuff down. So imagine my pleasure when I found you already did it for me!” With a flourish, Riku brought out a small pink book. On it were the words “Kairi’s Diary”. Kairi made a small choking sound and fainted, but Sora’s ears perked up. Riku grinned seeing this, knowing his audience was caught. He flipped the book open to a random page. “Let’s see what’s really on Kairi’s mind, shall we?...”

Alright! It's over! And if the author of the story is glad about this news, I can't imagine the relief the readers must be feeling right now. But, if you did happen to like it (there might be one person out there) then stay tuned to the terrifying sequel diving into the depths of Kairi's dementia- The Embarassing Truth Part 2 "Dear Diary"
 

GTX

Gee Tee Ecks
Joined
Apr 21, 2005
Messages
2,145
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W/ Headphones On.
GTX: Welcome to that one show with that long @$$ name. For the weakest link special. With Sora, Donald, Goofy, and the king.
Goofy: Gawrsh theres a problem, the king isn't here.

Mickey: Does anyone else get pimples! Bohoo. Wheres my make-up.

GTX: Fine in this version I ask you all the same question. What is the name of THAT DUDE.
Sora: I don't understand your question? You need to..
GTX: Times up. Donald.
Donald: Umm, GTX.
GTX: Goofy.
Goofy: Garwsh I don't know. Hummm that dude?
GTX: Times up. Now whos the weakist link. Sora nevered answer, Donald guessed wrong, and Goofy...... was right! That dudes name is that dude. Sora you are the weakist link goodbye.
Sora: This is so f***** gay.
GTX: The last question. Why does Sora suck so much.
Donald: Suck what, you mean he sucks ...
GTX: Times up. Goofy?
Goofy: So many reasons. Oh, he peed in my sheild. Fantasygurl told me in that interview she had.
GTX: Correct. Goofy is the smartest guy. Wohoo. She you next time on this show on the copycat show week. Next, family fued. FF vs. KH series.
 

Monkey master

The master of all Monkahs
Joined
Jun 4, 2005
Messages
738
Location
In the basment playing KH or at my computer postin
When the players leave the game at hollow bastion battle

Sora:Lets beat eachother up Riku
Riku:Sure
[After a long devistating battle Riku only has one arm and no legs atached to his body and Sora has a leg and an arm]
Riku:This prooves nothing
Sora:Suuure
Riku lets attatch are limbs before he gets back
Me:Wow!
Sora/Riku:Aw crude
Riku:He was there the whole time wasnt he
Sora:Yep
THE END
 

squirrellyizaac

New member
Joined
Jun 5, 2005
Messages
13
Age
33
Location
In a bin.
OK I am new at this and aren't usually the one to say anything. This has somehitng to do with Kingdom hearts and my IST Lesson

I had finished my work on the spreadsheets and my database. after about five minutes of tlkin to jarrad my fat enemy i decide to download the Jump Feista 2005 trailer. It took about 5 minutes for it to download. i had my headphones so i could listen to it. I was quite content with the trailer until i saw Kairi. I stood u and yelled " Kairi's Gots Boobs". I then put my hand over my mouth to block any more comments from coming out of my mouth. Mrs Davis was at the door and was in a converstation luckily.

my whole class of about 16-20 ppl looked at me funni. I was so Embarrased. not only that but shocked and horrified. How could Kairi have boobs like that in only a year? Mustr have eaten alot of chicken. She was Parcticly falt chested when we last saw her. then it was at lunch when i realised that everyone haad heard, i was asked about it from a few game fans and most the guys......I Can't live like this......I have more stories similar but even mor eembarrasing..


If you have Hotmail add me
angel_just_barely@hotmail.com
 

rikubaka67

Member
Joined
May 17, 2005
Messages
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But, if you did happen to like it (there might be one person out there)

i LOVE ur stories!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't wait until the 3rd one "The embarassing truth: i feel like a woman"

I had finished my work on the spreadsheets and my database. after about five minutes of tlkin to jarrad my fat enemy i decide to download the Jump Feista 2005 trailer. It took about 5 minutes for it to download. i had my headphones so i could listen to it. I was quite content with the trailer until i saw Kairi. I stood u and yelled " Kairi's Gots Boobs". I then put my hand over my mouth to block any more comments from coming out of my mouth. Mrs Davis was at the door and was in a converstation luckily.

my whole class of about 16-20 ppl looked at me funni. I was so Embarrased. not only that but shocked and horrified. How could Kairi have boobs like that in only a year? Mustr have eaten alot of chicken. She was Parcticly falt chested when we last saw her. then it was at lunch when i realised that everyone haad heard, i was asked about it from a few game fans and most the guys......I Can't live like this......I have more stories similar but even mor eembarrasing..

man, thats worse than my embarassing story on i think its on pg 1 of this thread!!!!!!!!!!
 

twilightdarkness

New member
Joined
Mar 17, 2005
Messages
373
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34
Location
In the bed
Even tho im not in the joke off anymore i got one...don't think its that funny

*on top of the building in deep dive*

Blindfolded riku:Whats taking this guy so long to throw this stupid keyblade, i gotta go take a piss..

*BHK appears on the roof*

Blindfolded riku: WTF I thought u were gonna throw me a keyblade from down there..

BHK: Are you serious there are heartless down there...im still trying to run from the dusk..and u want me to fight heartless...please

Blindfolded riku: I thought you were chasing them...

BHK: no i was chasing one and there was 50 other ones behind me...

Blindfolded riku:.....

*King mickey walks in*

mickey: i thought u were supposed to be down there BHK

BHK: *whispers* o great the stupid mouse boy is here...Your majesty i would be down there but Blindfold over there told me to come up here..

Blindfolded riku interupts: what...

*BHK pushes riku down the building*

BHK: hey atleast he jumped...

Mickey: yea but what about the oblivion key

BHK: I dunno what happened to it..but i think that queer Sora is using it

Mickey: Do u mind seeing if Riku is still alive..

*BHK looks over the side and Mickey pushes him down*

Mickey: Who is the stupid mouse boy now B****
 

black acid

Heros need Villains
Joined
Apr 26, 2005
Messages
1,413
Location
in some other forum, pissing people off
HERE i AM

riku:kairi!! where are you
kairi:in fornt of you!!!
riku:I can't see you
kairi: hey dumba$$ why don't you try taking off the blindflod
riku: cause I'm blind
sora: then why don't you get like lazer-eye surgery
riku: and get more blind I don't think so man!!!
laxerene:eek:hh phouy *walks away*
namine: then go get some glasses
riku: f*ck u!!!
bhk: well what know guys
sora: let's waych a movie
namine: let's go watch the longset yard
*namine and kairi walk with each other talking.while sora and bhk talk about keyblades*
riku: well this suckzz
mickey: f*cking nerd
unknown212: you tell'em king!!! ^_^
 

sasuke 189

Member
Joined
May 15, 2005
Messages
213
okay good joke
"I've been having these weird thoughts lately." The words flashed across the screen. "Like, is any of this for real, or not?" Naruto was floating through the air. "Hey, there are words floating up there!" He moved his body around in an attempt to reach the words, but it was over before it started. Sora continued to float helplessly, then fell to the ground. More words told him how to move. (By the way, Naruto is a 12-year-old boy who lives on an island, there are three boys and two girls. Sora has a orenge shirt and huge sandles.) After more words told him how to do more stuff, like throwing boxes and barrels at stuff, (for all those times you have to throw boxes and barrels at stuff) three pedestals rose out of the ground. One of the pedestals had a sword on top, one of them had a shield on top, and the last one had a magical staff on top. Naruto, being a crazed maniac, jumped onto the pedestal with the sword almost immediately. Words floated above Sora's head. "The big sword. It's big. Really big. And shiny, too! Oooh, ahhhh." narto decided to wait to see what the other ones had to say. He jumped onto the pedestal with the magical staff. "It's a magic staff. The blue Mickey Mouse head on top has NOTHING to do with Mickey Mouse. But the other green color, the whole staff, really complements your outfit." Naruto didn't want anything to do with a gay green staff, so he walked over to the shield pedestal and jumped onto it. "This is a shield. It's black and red. Really somber colors. Not very happy, not happy at all. But, I can tell that happy is.what happy. oh, just choose me, because happy is what happy does!" Naruto looked at the words, confused. "I,want ramen." Sora said. "Yeah," the words replied. "You kinda can't help it, me being some mysterious words and all." In the end, Sora decided to choose the sword. The other two pedestals still remained, so Sora jumped on top of the shield pedestal. "This is a shield. It's blac"- "Yeah, yeah,"naruto interrupted. "I've heard all this before, just gimme the shield." "No, you have to give something up this time." "Oh," Naruto said, and ran, rather quickly, over to the pedestal with the staff. "It's a mag"- "Yeah, yeah." Naruto picked up the staff, and looked at it questionably. "Good riddance!" He lifted the staff up behind his head and threw it off into the distance. "So, you have chosen the power of the sword, and given up the power of the staff." "Yeah, that's what I did, wasn't it?" "Fine," the words said. "Just gimme a break, I have to read off a script here, that's very hard work, you know." Then, a light swirled around Naruto and he next saw himself on his island. There were three little kids sitting there, TenTen, Lee, and Neji. Naruto walked over to TenTen, and she proceed to ask him a question. "Ok, Naruto. You have three lifelines left. What year did Michael Jackson eat the liver of a kangaroo?" "Um, what are my choices?" "Your choices are: 1987, the year between 1986 and 1988, or being number one." "I'm gonna go with being number one, ." "HE'S RIGHT! You know why? KANGAROOS DON'T HAVE LIVERS!"Naruto turned around and walked up to Wakka. "Hey, sexy," Neji said with the gayest voice. "Here's your question, you hot hunk of a boy. How many bricks are in the lower left section of the Great Wall Of China? Your choices are 34, 900082, or to see rare sights." "I think, hmm. I think, I think it's to see rare sights." "HE'S RIGHT! YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A WALL!" Neji walked over to Tidus. (There's something you should know about Tidus. He has big eyebrows .) "Hey, Naruto. Here's your question: How many nerve endings are there in the brain of an ant? The choices are: 7, 8473937, gai sensei or getting old." "I choose. getting old." "HE'S RIGHT! YOU KNOW WHY? 'CAUSE ANTS DON'T HAVE BRAINS!" Naruto walked to the center of the platform. The words hovered above him. "So, you have chosen "being number one", "to see rare sights", and "getting old". Naruto then appeared back in his dream world place. "Ok, this is getting pretty gay. Someone pinch me. PINCH ME!" Three little black creatures, called Shadows, popped up from the ground. "Now we're talking!" Naruto drew his sword and hacked the crap out of them. Stairs appeared off the ledge of the platform he was standing on, and lead to a new platform. Naruto walked up the stairs to the new platform. "You know," he said, as he was walking up the stairs, "this staircase is impossible because it has no support from the ground." Naruto, standing in the middle of this new platform, noticed that his shadow was growing bigger. "Whoa, this is some crazy @#$%!" The shadow grew and grew and grew and grew and grew until it was a big black monster, not that I'm racist or anything.
 

Hidden

A boy named Crow
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Once again, for those of you fortunate enough to miss my first two "The Embarrassing Truth" stories in the previous joke thread, you've run out of luck because I'm reposting them. I'm gonna see if I have time to start writing the 3rd today, maybe get it up by Monday. But don't hold your breath people (especially considering that would be one heck of a long time, even if I did manage to get it up by sometime Monday).

So here's the sequel that I already wrote. I'm running out of old material, guess I'll actually have to come up with something new soon.

Oh yeah, and sorry for the double post I'm about to commit.

*edit- nice story/joke Sasuke, or whatever your name was again (I can't see previous posts on the "edit" screen).
 

Hidden

A boy named Crow
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*note to reader- do not attempt to read unless already familiar with The Embarrassing Truth "Real Good Buddies", found on page 13 I believe.
The Embarrassing Truth Pt. II
“Dear Diary”
April 18- I got 2 new dolls today! They’re names are Betty and Jane. They’re so much fun! Jane has pretty long hair. This made it easier to rip her head off, and her fluffy white insides flew everywhere! I laughed. The same thing happened with her two arms and one leg. I left her last leg on in case I get bored and want to play more later. I still wonder, is this what happens when you do this to a real person? I plan to find out some day. I haven’t hurt Betty yet. That’s because she has short brown hair, and if I shape it just right, I can make it look like Sora’s! Then I’ll dress it up like him, take my set of needles, and start jabbing it to see what happens to Sora. Hee-hee, what fun! I can’t wait!
- Riku stopped reading, looking over to see what affect this was having. Sora had turned a very light shade of green, and was a bit farther from Kairi now. Riku smiled slightly to himself, and skipped forward a few pages to where things got… interesting.
May 7- I got mad at Sora today. When I do, I like to imagine taking a choke chain, the one we got for our old dog Skip, putting it on him and yelling, “Bad Sora!” I would then slowly squeeze it tight and watch how many colors his face turned until he lost conscious. Or maybe I would take that coil of barbed wire (the one I got for Christmas), tie him up with it, then push him into the sea to see if he could swim with it! Or maybe, I would take some of those really long needles, the ones I use to pin all my dolls up on the wall, and when he was asleep I would sneak up really quietly and…
- “Ooookay then,” Riku said, having to look away from the small pink book in his hands. He hadn’t remembered that part. Sora’s face had turned a much richer green, and he was watching Kairi uncertainly. Kairi was still just lying there with a small smile on her face. Riku guessed she must be dreaming of killing little puppies. He decided to skip to a part he hadn’t read yet.
May 23- I finally got it! It’s every young girl’s dream! My very own George Foreman Butcher’s Knife! It’s beautiful! I can just imagine what this could do to an actual person! Next time Sora is acting stupid around me, I’m gonna just sweetly invite him into my house, walk into the kitchen, take my George Foreman Butcher’s Knife, and [EDIT- the following excerpt from Kairi’s Diary has been judged too violent and grotesque to be shown on a public forum. It has been taken out for the comfort of the readers].
- Sora was now on all fours puking his guts out on the sand, and Riku, who had flung the book away, was staring at it as if afraid it might jump up and attack him.
“We have to get rid of this.” Riku said. Sora, now just shaking with dry heaves, nodded slowly.
“But where can we put it?” he asked. Riku took a deep breath, then whispered.
“Kairi’s room.” Sora blanched and heaved the rest of his lunch out on to the beach. Riku helped Sora up, gingerly picked up the diary, and they headed down to Kairi’s house, leaving her on the beach.
*10 minutes later*
They stood in front of the door. Neither of them had ever ventured into Kairi’s room before. Who knew what horrors awaited them behind that bright pink door? Suddenly they didn’t want to find out. They looked at each other, then back to the door. Sora took a deep breath, closed his eyes, put his hand on the doorknob, and…
“Hi guys. Whatcha doin’?”
“AAUUGGHH!!!!” Riku and Sora screamed in perfect time (and harmony), and the two boys jumped into each others’ arms. Sora realized whose arms he had jumped into, and quickly backed away. Riku sighed inwardly. Slowly, so as not to awaken her predator instincts, they turned to face Kairi. She was holding her George Foreman Butcher’s Knife.
“I was just wondering what you guys were doing at my room?” Kairi asked. Sora attempted to give what he thought might sound like a fairly natural and not I’m-so-terrified-I’m-about-to-pee-my-pants answer.
“NOTHING!!! NOTHING AT ALL!!! WE’RE JUST… ADMIRING YOUR DOOR!!! HA HA HA! YEAH! PRETTY DOOR!!! HOW ABOUT YOU!?!” Riku flinched. So much for “natural”.
Kairi stepped forward. “Riku, what are you holding?” Riku squeaked and tried to hide the diary behind his back. Then Kairi remembered… “How much have you read?” she asked dangerously.
“Now Kairi… think about what you’re doing here… we’re your friends… Kairi?… put down the knife…”
“How… much… have… you… READ!?!” Kairi screamed, brandishing the knife. They were backed against her door. Desperate for escape, Sora’s saw a small clock.
“Look Riku! It’s 7:00 pm! Oprah’s on!” Riku’s eyes shot open. Oprah! His favorite show! And nothing, not even an angry deranged Kairi wielding a butcher’s knife, was going to stop him from seeing Oprah! Bowling over the surprised girl, he dashed to her living room and turned on the T.V. Sora followed quickly. Kairi stalked into the room after them. However, not even she could resist the lure of watching Oprah, so she decided to kill them after the show, and sat down to watch. With Lover-Boy Riku on one couch and Killer Kairi on the other, Sora was left in an awkward position. He decided to stand.
Oprah walked on to the stage. “On today’s show we will be talking to some soon-to-be transsexuals. These men have done everything they could to let their feminine side out, and today they will be speaking for the last time as men. Would you please welcome our first guest!” And then, walking out to thunderous applause strode the king of all darkness… Ansem!

Yep, long, boring, and weak on the humor- this is definately a Hidden story. But hey, you were the people crazy enough to let me keep on writing, and it certainly doesn't stop here! Stay tuned to find out what Ansem's really like on the inside in- The Embarrassing Truth Pt. III- "I Feel Like a Woman".
 
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