• Hello everybody! We have tons of new awards for the new year that can be requested through our Awards System thanks to Antifa Lockhart! Some are limited-time awards so go claim them before they are gone forever...

    CLICK HERE FOR AWARDS

Fanfiction ► Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 68 posted)



REGISTER TO REMOVE ADS
Status
Not open for further replies.

Kiwi +

Joined
Aug 30, 2009
Messages
1,341
Awards
6
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 21 posted)

Sorry I'm so late! Things have surely been slow as of lately, with no one coming on as much as before... Busy, busy, busy. >W<

Any who, I really liked the chapter as per usual. It's always great to see what directions you put all the characters in, and it really makes me think what is the next plan of action and to see what develops.
As for that "somebody", I also do not know who it might be! I always been a horrible guesser anyways, but correct me if I missed something utterly unmissable as to who it might be. For now, it will just have to wait.

You been busy, so I'll await patiently for your next chapter and for answers hopefully. :D
 

D.D.D

New member
Joined
Jan 23, 2011
Messages
860
Location
Stuffed in a sack and being thrown through a magic
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 21 posted)

Y u no update for an entire month? D.D.D is a sad panda... D.D.D wants to read her favorite fanfic's next chapter...
:(
Anyways, sorry to beg. I just wanna read the next chapter soooo bad! I hope you're gonna update soon, because this is a really great fanfic. Millions of times better than the rest of the KH3 fanfics I've ever read anywhere.
 

Sephiroth0812

Guardian of Light
Joined
Oct 22, 2010
Messages
10,531
Awards
37
Location
Germany
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 21 posted)

...I've no clue who that is. I ruled out Larxene's somebody for obvious reasons, but hmmm...

Great chapter! Although now you've got me wondering what Aeleus is up to in the Land of Dragons. ;D Lea seems to be in an interesting predicament that I didn't see coming; I thought he'd figure everything out after the initial confusion of being thrown back into the RoL with a heart. It will be interesting to see where he goes, if he remembers Roxas, and how he's going to be important. (You said you had everything set up to connect somewhere, so I'm assuming he'll be pretty important. ;) )

And I'm liking the sarcastic interactions between Isa and Braig, and Merlin and Cid. Although the fact that Braig has a serious side is also news to me as well! D: Great job again, Sephiroth! :)

I also never said it would be easy, lol. It's a Final Fantasy character, that much I can already say. ;)

Heh, what Aeleus is doing there is actually not that big of a deal. It's not shown in-story, but his task there is actually the same task that Rudol was fulfilling on Destiny Islands in chapters 15 and 16.
Lea's main problem right now is that he can't really connect the Axel-memories and the Lea-memories in his mind. He does have the memories of Axel but he can't really sort them out and associate them with himself yet (This has of course to do with Axel apparently gaining more emotion as he spent time with Sora and Roxas).
He does also remember Roxas, as one of the first things he saw in these memories when he awoke way back in chapter 8 was a picture of Roxas sitting on the clock tower in Twilight Town, but since he's so messed up at the moment he doesn't really pay much attention to this.

I just can't resist letting Isa sometimes snark back at Braig and give him some traits similar to the behaviour of the Isa we see in Birth by Sleep when he mocks Lea for losing to Ven.

This serious side of Braig shines only through in very special circumstances...and this new woman is one of those. Let's just say she's not really someone Braig wants to mess with for now.

Ah, Lea didn't remember his life being a nobody but i'm sure you will give him an interesting and surprising development :D
I'm liking the interaction between Braig and Isa lol.. Braig is always acting weird and funny...and Ienzo's illusion effect is just brilliant :D
Great chapter,Seph :)

That's not entirely correct, as Lea does have Axel's memories, remembers Roxas and can also access them all, but they are flooding disconnected into his main chain of memories as Lea, causing his confusion and headaches.
Lea needs to sort out the Axel-memories and arrange them into a memory-chain as well that doesn't interfere with his old Lea-memories, which is exactly what he slowly starts to do in the last scene he appears in the last chapter.

Braig and Isa are meant to be somewhat funny, but also still somewhat menacing villains, as they are truly up to no good in Radiant Garden.
Yep, Leon and co. have still no clue of them and as long as no one touches them physically Braig and Isa will remain unnoticed.

Sorry I'm so late! Things have surely been slow as of lately, with no one coming on as much as before... Busy, busy, busy. >W<

Any who, I really liked the chapter as per usual. It's always great to see what directions you put all the characters in, and it really makes me think what is the next plan of action and to see what develops.
As for that "somebody", I also do not know who it might be! I always been a horrible guesser anyways, but correct me if I missed something utterly unmissable as to who it might be. For now, it will just have to wait.

You been busy, so I'll await patiently for your next chapter and for answers hopefully. :D

Yea, I know, busy busy is the correct way to say it literally. <__<

Thanks, I also try to build up the character arcs with caution as to not rush into things to hastily. I want the readers to get a "feeling" of the atmosphere before I throw in the hard stuff. ;)
There aren't really any hints towards her identity in former chapters, only the description about her appearance in this chapter.
So if you have not played the Final Fantasy title she originates from or at least know decently about it you won't be able to guess her.
;)

I'm just answering this right now since I already feel it's been to long. Real Life is really eating me up.

Y u no update for an entire month? D.D.D is a sad panda... D.D.D wants to read her favorite fanfic's next chapter...
:(
Anyways, sorry to beg. I just wanna read the next chapter soooo bad! I hope you're gonna update soon, because this is a really great fanfic. Millions of times better than the rest of the KH3 fanfics I've ever read anywhere.

Sadly because of RL, my friend. It's not only me alone but also my trusted proofreader November Rain who is very busy right now and the last month with RL stuff (you'll also notice she hasn't commented on the last two chapters yet).

I feel very honored you want the next chapter this badly, <3. I hope I can comply with the new chapter this weekend, but I can't make a definitive promise for that. :(
 

D.D.D

New member
Joined
Jan 23, 2011
Messages
860
Location
Stuffed in a sack and being thrown through a magic
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 21 posted)

Sadly because of RL, my friend. It's not only me alone but also my trusted proofreader November Rain who is very busy right now and the last month with RL stuff (you'll also notice she hasn't commented on the last two chapters yet).

I feel very honored you want the next chapter this badly, <3. I hope I can comply with the new chapter this weekend, but I can't make a definitive promise for that. :(
<3 Da'aww... Well, just take your time. As a fanfic writer myself, I know that things come up or writer's block settles in, yadda, yadda... Don't feel rushed. Writer's need their time to write and if a beta reader doesn't proofread or you just can't write for any reason, I understand. But keep up the good work! This fanfic is amazing!
 

Sephiroth0812

Guardian of Light
Joined
Oct 22, 2010
Messages
10,531
Awards
37
Location
Germany
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 22 posted)

<3 Da'aww... Well, just take your time. As a fanfic writer myself, I know that things come up or writer's block settles in, yadda, yadda... Don't feel rushed. Writer's need their time to write and if a beta reader doesn't proofread or you just can't write for any reason, I understand. But keep up the good work! This fanfic is amazing!

Thanks, but for me it's really the missing time right now as writer's block is not an issue. I only write on one story at a time and this story is already written up to chapter 42. ;)
It's going finally on though right now. ^___^

---

Yep, I apologize for the long delay, but now chapter 22 is finally here:

#####

XXII. The Rose of May

The woman's stern look softened a bit. "Of course, where are my manners; I am Beatrix, once the head of the castle guards of Radiant Garden, under the direct command of the Sage Ansem the Wise himself."
Cid slammed his left fist into the palm of his right hand.
"Now I can remember clearly, I knew that you were familiar somehow."

"Head of the castle guards!? Whew...so in short, this means that actually you should be in charge?" Yuffie pondered.
"Rank-wise, this could be actually true." Leon said in a low tone, somewhat unsure. "After all, I'm only an ordinary citizen."

Beatrix shook her head with determination. "No, the old ranks don't mean anything anymore. Those times are long over. I just recently returned here and needed over 3 months to finally settle in again. Furthermore, I would never step so low to hijack the good work of someone else. All of you put much effort in reviving this world and bring back survivors, I won't intrude in that just because I once held a high position."

"3 Months? Does that mean you were already here when the second heartless invasion took place a month ago?" Merlin asked.
"I was, but still recuperating from my odyssey, so I could only lent limited assistance to defend the hospital."

"Odyssey?" Cid mumbled.
"It's a long story...and surely not that important now. You said there's something odd in the secret laboratory down there, right?" Beatrix answered, turning back to Leon.

At the back of the room, Braig had gotten visibly paler, with Isa shooting him an amused side-glance.
"So that's the amazon you talked about once. She surely looks interesting."

"Interesting? AS IF, she's a monster. Ever since Ansem took in Xehanort and started his experiments and research on the heart she was broadly against it, fearing for the safety of the world and the people."

"A dutiful knight devoted to protecting her kingdom and citizens, it's not really surprising." Isa concluded, examining the female General from afar.

"Oh yeah, dutiful she is. She almost discovered our secret experiments twice and wholeheartedly supported Ansem as he ceased the research after befriending that King from the outer world. Xehanort was very pissed about her continuous interference. In the end, as she also won't give in to darkness, we had to banish her into the Realm of Darkness as well as Ansem before her."

"She didn't prevent you from banishing Ansem?" Isa raised a brow.
Braig let out a small laugh. "Nope, she couldn't. Dilan and Xehanort created a diversion by setting a pack of heartless free in the castle gardens, causing many casualties and she was so busy keeping the threat at bay we had free hands."

Isa snorted. "So if you banished her as well afterwards, why do you get that white like a sheet and worried? She should not be that much of a problem then."
Braig turned fully to him, his cocky tone totally absent. "As if blueberry, she would be a big problem. Underestimate her and you'll end up impaled on her holy sword. We banished her, yes, but it took the combined efforts of Dilan, Aeleus, Ienzo and me to beat her into submission first. She is not someone to take lightly. As a Paladin, she has a good balance of powerful physical and magical attacks, as well as high defense."

Isa eyed Beatrix with a more thoroughly glance at hearing this, before speaking again with unwavered confidence. "Shouldn't we already start the diversions then?"
"Screw the different time frames, start ALL of them at once. We need to get them away from here...and especially preoccupy Beatrix!" Braig answered, determined.

Leon in the meantime nodded at Beatrix' question. "Indeed, it seems there's a lifeform that suddenly appeared down there."
"We guess it could be another survivor who found his or her way back home." Yuffie added.
Beatrix made a thoughtful expression. "Possible, although it would then be quite interesting to find out how that person got there, as the main computer said it can be detected now if a dark corridor is opened."

"The main question would be how do we get there?" Cid Highwind interjected in a grumpy tone.
Leon raised a brow, turning to the computer. "Tron, can you open up a way down there?"

"There exists a set of routines that leads to the opening of the secret floor, but it is protected by six passwords and the form to enter those passwords is only reachable by putting in another password." Tron's voice answered over the speaker.

To that Leon rolled his eyes, Cid gave away some really heavy words while Yuffie made some annoyed sounds.
"Seems like more unnecessary troubles ahead." Merlin mumbled, seeing his dislike of computers and technology proven yet again.
"Oh old loon, having something locked by passwords or magical seals is not that much of a difference." Cid barked, fuming.

Merlin choose to ignore it this time.

"Tron, can't you just hack the routines and bypass the passwords?" Yuffie asked impatiently.

"I can search the files for a way to circumvent them, but that may take a while and I can't promise it will be possible." Tron answered.

Yuffie made another annoyed sound, while Leon put his hand against his forehead deep in thought.
Seven passwords!? That's quite a big deal of security, which is no wonder if that floor really contains the laboratory where Ansem's apprentices conducted their immoral and dangerous experiments on darkness and hearts.

Isa moved now towards the computer, paying attention not to bump physically into one of the Committee members or Beatrix, as this was not covered by Ienzo's illusions. Braig took a position directly before the Digitizer, ready to move into the data world of Space Paranoids.

With a devious smirk Isa snapped his fingers three times. Time for some action.
Alert beeping sounds immediately started as the sensors detected several dark corridors opening in the town and the castle.

"Several groups of heartless and lower nobodies have entered the town perimeter!" Tron warned.
"Damn it! Now of all times?" Cid Highwind yelled.

As a confirmation one corridor even opened in the computer room, to which Braig raised a brow questioningly.
Isa just shrugged as a big Large Body and two Soldiers appeared in the computer room.

"Tron! Try to bypass those passwords, we'll destroy the heartless." Yuffie shouted, brandishing her big shuriken.
"Aerith, trouble is on the way." Leon spoke into the small head-phone-esque communication device he was wearing, his Gunblade appearing in his hand.

"Already noticed it...I'll take the kids to safety, Tifa's going to hold them off at the town square." Aerith's answer was only barely heard through the noise of screaming kids and static due to a bad connection.

"Agh-it's one of those fatso's..." Yuffie grunted, slashing one of the Soldiers with her shuriken.
The other one leaped at Leon, got blocked with the Gunblade and then stabbed by Cid's spear.

The Large Body took two steps nearer as Beatrix stepped between Leon and Cid, cold fury in her visible eye.
"Not this time, not again will Radiant Garden be ravaged by the likes of your ilk! This time around, I'll eradicate all of you I can get a hold of!"

Her holy sword Save the Queen quickly drawn out of its scabbard, Beatrix held it upright before her face gathering energy.

"Take this!" Beatrix released a big blue-white energy blast, her "Shock"-technique, which blasted apart the Large Body in one stroke.

Yuffie whistled impressed. What an attack...

"No time to gape, let's move out to protect the citizens!" Beatrix shouted, already running out of the computer room, the blade of her sword shining.

"Right!" Yuffie and Cid agreed, running after her.
"You coming too? Merlin?" Leon asked, turning around shortly.
"I'm already on my way, I'll meet up with Tifa on the central square." Merlin answered winking, already in the process of teleporting away.

Seeing them running away, Braig got in a fit of cocky laughter.
They're so easy to distract.
"Now then blueberry, get that thing up and digitize me...time to travel to another world."
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT] "What about this "Tron"-Program...looks like it can detect our interference immediately." Isa asked, his hands stopping a few centimetres over the keyboard.

"I will erase its memory banks when I disrupt the OS, as well as the videos recorded by the cameras, no issue. Maybe I'll even grant myself the pleasure and burn all buses so no data transfer will ever be possible again." Braig answered, grinning evilly.

Meanwhile Leon, Beatrix and the others rushed through the corridors, slaying dozens of emblem heartless which had spawned in there. Yuffie threw many smaller shurikens while keeping her big one for close range battle, enhancing its sharpness with magic. Leon alternated using his Gunblade and a plethora of fire and ice magic while Cid was proficiently aiding with his spear at mid range.

Beatrix already was quite a bit more ahead, concentrating on eliminating the bigger heartless like Large Bodies, Morning Stars, Defenders and Crimson Jazzes with her "Seiken"-sword arts.

Meanwhile at the central town square the kids who had helped Aerith with the flowers where gathered together in a group in fright, Aerith trying to shield them to her best ability, wielding her iron staff which also served to channel her magic.
That's not going to work...I can't shield all of the kids at once but I also can't let Tifa facing them all alone.

Tifa jumped backwards dodging the slash of an Armored Knight, then charged forward tackling it with her shoulder, felling two Soldiers and a Hammer Frame with a round-house kick afterwards.
As a Surveillance Robot started to swoop down she met it with a heavy uppercut, sending the heartless back trundling into higher air.

"They're far fewer in number, but still annoying as heck!" She shouted to Aerith, blocking the strike of another Armored Knight, blasting it with a Blizzara-spell.

In a swirl of golden sparkles Merlin appeared beside Aerith. "Now my dear, I can take over the protection of the children." He exclaimed, raising a dome-like energy shield around the group of kids.

"Thanks Merlin. Tifa! Let's do a combo-attack!" Aerith said with her voice raised quite some bit, a rare occurrence.
"Okay!" Came the answer from the martial arts expert, kicking another Hammer Frame away with a backflip-kick.

Aerith stepped three steps forward, raising her staff.
"Magnega!"

A big magnetic field was created amidst the heartless, drawing them in and immobilizing them while doing slowly damage.
Tifa gave away a knowing smirk at this, jumping high into the air.
"That's the end for ya: Final Heaven!"
Loading up her right fist with condensed neutral magical energy in a blue hue, Tifa dived right into the gathered crowd of heartless, causing a big energy explosion destroying all the heartless of this group in one strike.

#####

So, there we are. Time for the FF characters to do some work. ^__^
 

Key Wielder

New member
Joined
Apr 7, 2012
Messages
885
Awards
1
Location
Traverse Town
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 22 posted)

Another excellent chapter, Sephiroth! I don't feel so bad about not knowing who Beatrix was now; I've never played FFIX, but she definitely seems to be an appropriately tough addition to the Radiant Garden gang. Oh, and thanks for teaching me the word "ilk"--I had no clue that word existed, but I love it! 8D

Your battle details are great like before, and I'm glad to have seen this crew get a piece of the action. It's reminiscent of KH2 and a great way to keep the more exposition-based chapters like this one interesting. I'm looking forward to seeing the next chapter! Thanks for posting this one even though you've been so busy. :)
 

D.D.D

New member
Joined
Jan 23, 2011
Messages
860
Location
Stuffed in a sack and being thrown through a magic
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 22 posted)

Me...
LOVES IT!
Gah, I'm glad you brought in Beatrix! In fact, I started playing IX just a few weeks ago and I love it. In fact, it might just be my favorite FF behind X. I hope Nomura actually does start incorporating IX characters besides Vivi. Zidane would fit perfectly in the KH world, IMO. So, I see that Braig is up to no good (as usual) and that the Restoration Committee have their hands full. Your battles are wonderful to read, too.
I'm glad that you updated. :) It was a great chapter to read, and I can't wait for the next one!
 

Kiwi +

Joined
Aug 30, 2009
Messages
1,341
Awards
6
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 22 posted)

Well...It certainly has been a long time since I posted on here! I'm so sorry, Seph! ^^; You probably are too busy anyways, to update and Nov being busy too. Oh real life. xD

As you know, I don't really know much about FF anything so I might need you to explain who and who some people might be. I'm glad Key Wielder and D.D.D said where she is from, though! Definitely comes in handy. :D
Battle imagery is by far one of my favorite from you too. It just might be up there with your emotional scenes you do all so extravagantly. <3

Again, sorry for taking so long. Uh, I guess I'll wait until your next chapter! It's worth the wait. >:)
 

Sephiroth0812

Guardian of Light
Joined
Oct 22, 2010
Messages
10,531
Awards
37
Location
Germany
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 22 posted)

Another excellent chapter, Sephiroth! I don't feel so bad about not knowing who Beatrix was now; I've never played FFIX, but she definitely seems to be an appropriately tough addition to the Radiant Garden gang. Oh, and thanks for teaching me the word "ilk"--I had no clue that word existed, but I love it! 8D
Many thanks, it's really great to see that my efforts pay off when readers enjoy it. ^___^
No worries, since the next chapter isn't ready yet (as I assume that Nov is still in Amsterdam, lol) I thought about something different this time. ;)
Oh yes, Beatrix is definitely a very tough addition to the gang, she's exceptionally strong, in fact so strong that whenever you face her in FF IX it's always only a battle of endurance and no matter what you do in the end she always defeats your party.
Hehe, due to Beatrix' background the use of such "higher" speak is normal for her.
Another example would be her addressing your main characters in FF IX right before she kicks their asses the second time:
"Then allow me to shatter your delusions of grandeur."

Your battle details are great like before, and I'm glad to have seen this crew get a piece of the action. It's reminiscent of KH2 and a great way to keep the more exposition-based chapters like this one interesting. I'm looking forward to seeing the next chapter! Thanks for posting this one even though you've been so busy. :)
Seems I am improving with battle scenes, hehe. It is the best opportunity to give the FF-gang of Radiant Garden some action and focus since all other "parties" are occupied with rather "secondary stuff" right now.
Rudol is at the moment travelling through a frozen, spooky wasteland, that while surely creepy isn't that much interesting. Ventus is sleeping to recover from the horrid pain seizures he had and Roxas just sits beside him, so there's also not much to cover right now, Aqua has much to think about and Sora, Donald, Goofy, Riku and Kairi are still flying with the Gummi Ship towards Disney Castle.
Next chapter will built upon the turmoil in Radiant Garden some more, with some more surprises if I may say so, lol.
The busy stuff in RL really gets somewhat in the way as of the last three months <__<.

Me...
LOVES IT!
Gah, I'm glad you brought in Beatrix! In fact, I started playing IX just a few weeks ago and I love it. In fact, it might just be my favorite FF behind X. I hope Nomura actually does start incorporating IX characters besides Vivi. Zidane would fit perfectly in the KH world, IMO. So, I see that Braig is up to no good (as usual) and that the Restoration Committee have their hands full. Your battles are wonderful to read, too.
I'm glad that you updated. :) It was a great chapter to read, and I can't wait for the next one!
Glad you like it, lol, in fact, I have to admit that Beatrix is one of my favorite FF characters and I would love to see her incorporated into the canon KH...maybe as another secret boss.
The Vivi of KH is really more a glorified cameo rather than a true inclusion in my book. Not to mention he doesn't really act in character as the FF IX-Vivi would probably never follow a guy like Cifer.
Yep, Braig has some nasty plans up his sleeve right now and the consequences won't be so pleasant for the RG computer system, and therefore by extension for Tron.
Not to mention when Isa finally gets down into the Laboratory and comes face to face with the just reborn Lea. But that's far in the future. Next chapter will have some more focus on the FF-characters and after that we'll be back with Sora and co.
When the next chapter comes down depends on when I get notice from November how far the proofreading has gone. ;)

Well...It certainly has been a long time since I posted on here! I'm so sorry, Seph! ^^; You probably are too busy anyways, to update and Nov being busy too. Oh real life. xD

As you know, I don't really know much about FF anything so I might need you to explain who and who some people might be. I'm glad Key Wielder and D.D.D said where she is from, though! Definitely comes in handy. :D
Battle imagery is by far one of my favorite from you too. It just might be up there with your emotional scenes you do all so extravagantly. <3

Again, sorry for taking so long. Uh, I guess I'll wait until your next chapter! It's worth the wait. >:)

Heh, I don't see what there's to be sorry about, as you're one of those who posts here the most frequent ever since the thread was started. ;)
Still busy, yep. And Nov seems even more busy <__<.

Good for you then that instead of the new chapter (which cannot be brought up here right now) I decided to give out a bit environmental information and explain a bit who Beatrix is in both her original role in FF IX and inside Hearts in Unison. ;D

There will be more battle stuff in the next chapter, in fact I might even say that chapter 23 is a complete battle chapter.
Hah, emotional scenes, I am really thankful you like them so far as these are really difficult to write. As I am now working on chapter 43 which is a real heart-wrenching one I hope the practice I have from earlier chapters really helps me making this better.

Like said, the next chapter's arrival depends on when Nov contacts me about the proofread. ;)
Until then, take a good read at the information I give away about Beatrix. ^___^

-~-~-~-

-----------
Intermezzo: Supplementary information about the newly introduced character: Beatrix:
-----------

Some data:
Name: Beatrix
Age: 28
Role: Top General of the Alexandrian Army (in FF IX), Former head of the castle guards in Radiant Garden (in HiU, KH Universe).
Jobclass: Paladin
Weapon: Holy Sword "Save the Queen"
Abilities: Excellent swordmanship, "Seiken"-sword arts, White Magic, Holy Magic

This is a picture taken from the ending FMV of Final Fantasy IX, showing Beatrix in CGI-graphic:
Beatrix2.jpg


On to her background in the original setting in FF IX:


In the FF IX world of Gaia, Beatrix is known worldwide as one of the best warriors available and she serves the royal family of the Kingdom of Alexandria as their commander-in-chief and top General. It should be noted that the army of Alexandria is nearly completely made up of female soldiers as there is only one batallion of male knights and they're more or less the butt monkeys of the forces (at least at the beginning of the game). When the Queen of Alexandria succumbs to her greed (secretly manipulated by the main antagonist of the game) she becomes a warmongering tyrant and attacks neighbouring countries. As the commander of the Alexandrian army Beatrix of course follows her duty and leads the invasions, which makes her an antagonist of the main player party for the first half of the game and you have to fight her three times (and always lose!)
Beatrix continues to oppose the party and even commits some acrocities in the name of her Kingdom until she realizes that the Queen has gone way too far (even ordering the execution of the Princess, to whom Beatrix also has an oath to protect) and finally switches sides.
In the second half of FF IX there are then two short segments where you can control her as a temporary party member.

To see how strong she really is take a look at these three Youtube-videos which show all three battles against her in FF IX, you can even see her special "Seiken" sword arts which she also uses in my story to fight the Heartless in the current (and next) chapter:

The music played in the first two battles against her is "Mystery Sword", sometimes also called "The wavering blade", Beatrix' battle theme.
Her actual character theme is called "Rose of May", just like the current chapter. ;D
I'll put that one in a Spoiler-tag since there are already three videos, lol.
Spoiler Spoiler Show


First battle against her in Burmecia, Final boss of Disc 1:
(also introduces Kuja at the end, the main antagonist of Final Fantasy IX (and yes, that is a man, lol)


Second battle against her in Cleyra, Disc 2:


Third and final battle against her in Alexandria Castle, Disc 2:


That should give a small overview for the character for those who don't know her. And just for clarification, while she is an antagonist at start and may come across a bit aloof (or even arrogant) she really isn't a bad person, that shows pretty much during the second half of FF IX, but I don't want to spoil everything, *ggg*.

Now on to her setting and role in the KH Universe and inside Hearts in Unison:
Here, while she remains a General and retains much of her might, she doesn't serve the royal family of Alexandria but rather Ansem the Wise. Braig already explains much to Isa in the current chapter and why he's so wary of her.
That is also because before the apprentices were manipulated by Xehanort and started their immoral experiments Braig was, as vice-head of the guards, practically Beatrix' right hand-man and second in command.
While they were never friends or something, they at least worked together as friendly colleagues and Braig therefore knows exactly how dangerous she really is.

That's the general premise of the character in KH and while I know it can't replace a true chapter of the story itself I do hope it eases the wait and gives those who don't know who Beatrix is a general overview of her character and abilities. ^___^

-~-~-~-
 
Last edited:

Kiwi +

Joined
Aug 30, 2009
Messages
1,341
Awards
6
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 22 posted)

Until then, take a good read at the information I give away about Beatrix. ^___^

-~-~-~-

-----------
Intermezzo: Supplementary information about the newly introduced character: Beatrix:
-----------

Some data:
Name: Beatrix
Age: 28
Role: Top General of the Alexandrian Army (in FF IX), Former head of the castle guards in Radiant Garden (in HiU, KH Universe).
Jobclass: Paladin
Weapon: Holy Sword "Save the Queen"
Abilities: Excellent swordmanship, "Seiken"-sword arts, White Magic, Holy Magic

This is a picture taken from the ending FMV of Final Fantasy IX, showing Beatrix in CGI-graphic:
Beatrix2.jpg


On to her background in the original setting in FF IX:


In the FF IX world of Gaia, Beatrix is known worldwide as one of the best warriors available and she serves the royal family of the Kingdom of Alexandria as their commander-in-chief and top General. It should be noted that the army of Alexandria is nearly completely made up of female soldiers as there is only one batallion of male knights and they're more or less the butt monkeys of the forces (at least at the beginning of the game). When the Queen of Alexandria succumbs to her greed (secretly manipulated by the main antagonist of the game) she becomes a warmongering tyrant and attacks neighbouring countries. As the commander of the Alexandrian army Beatrix of course follows her duty and leads the invasions, which makes her an antagonist of the main player party for the first half of the game and you have to fight her three times (and always lose!)
Beatrix continues to oppose the party and even commits some acrocities in the name of her Kingdom until she realizes that the Queen has gone way too far (even ordering the execution of the Princess, to whom Beatrix also has an oath to protect) and finally switches sides.
In the second half of FF IX there are then two short segments where you can control her as a temporary party member.

To see how strong she really is take a look at these three Youtube-videos which show all three battles against her in FF IX, you can even see her special "Seiken" sword arts which she also uses in my story to fight the Heartless in the current (and next) chapter:

The music played in the first two battles against her is "Mystery Sword", sometimes also called "The wavering blade", Beatrix' battle theme.
Her actual character theme is called "Rose of May", just like the current chapter. ;D
I'll put that one in a Spoiler-tag since there are already three videos, lol.
Spoiler Spoiler Show


First battle against her in Burmecia, Final boss of Disc 1:
(also introduces Kuja at the end, the main antagonist of Final Fantasy IX (and yes, that is a man, lol)


Second battle against her in Cleyra, Disc 2:


Third and final battle against her in Alexandria Castle, Disc 2:


That should give a small overview for the character for those who don't know her. And just for clarification, while she is an antagonist at start and may come across a bit aloof (or even arrogant) she really isn't a bad person, that shows pretty much during the second half of FF IX, but I don't want to spoil everything, *ggg*.

Now on to her setting and role in the KH Universe and inside Hearts in Unison:
Here, while she remains a General and retains much of her might, she doesn't serve the royal family of Alexandria but rather Ansem the Wise. Braig already explains much to Isa in the current chapter and why he's so wary of her.
That is also because before the apprentices were manipulated by Xehanort and started their immoral experiments Braig was, as vice-head of the guards, practically Beatrix' right hand-man and second in command.
While they were never friends or something, they at least worked together as friendly colleagues and Braig therefore knows exactly how dangerous she really is.

That's the general premise of the character in KH and while I know it can't replace a true chapter of the story itself I do hope it eases the wait and gives those who don't know who Beatrix is a general overview of her character and abilities. ^___^

-~-~-~-

Ah, thank you Seph! <3

This was quite nice of you to inform us readers that quite don't know about Beatrix to get the premise of her character. Going the extra mile, I quite enjoy it. :D
I hope you do this other times just in case we don't know. Time permit of course. Now I await with this new found knowledge I didn't know before. Should make things easier to understand!~
 

Sephiroth0812

Guardian of Light
Joined
Oct 22, 2010
Messages
10,531
Awards
37
Location
Germany
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 23 posted)

Ah, thank you Seph! <3

This was quite nice of you to inform us readers that quite don't know about Beatrix to get the premise of her character. Going the extra mile, I quite enjoy it. :D
I hope you do this other times just in case we don't know. Time permit of course. Now I await with this new found knowledge I didn't know before. Should make things easier to understand!~

No issue, as the chapter took a bit longer this time around and I had some time, I thought it'll be a nice option to bridge over the wait. ;)

Glad it came over useful, if time permits it I'll surely give something similar if the need arises.

Now, let's get on with the next chapter and see Beatrix in action against some nasty Heartless (those who played Re: Coded may recognize them, lol).
Not to mention that two more FF characters join the fray!

#####

XXIII. The ensuing battle

A Sergeant-Heartless tried in the meantime to break through Merlin's protect-dome, scratching away at it with its claws to reach the children. Merlin swung his wand with astounding speed, hitting the Sergeant with a round of gold sparkles which froze the dark being solid.
"Monster-popsicles...again you're very much creative, Merlin!" A new voice interjected with an amused tone.
"Well, how about sending the trash back into the litter bin?" A second, female voice added.

A buzzing sound was heard as an arrow glowing with red energy flew at the frozen Sergeant, obliterating it.

"Excellent shot Fran, let's see if there are any monsters good enough to be felled by the leading man." The first voice said calmly as a man in elegant clothes came into view from a side street, brandishing a gun.

Another Surveillance Robot and two Red Nocturnes turned at the newcomer, shooting lasers and some fireballs.
"Now now, that's quite a rough welcome." The man smirked while dodging aside, shooting one of the Red Nocturnes with two energy blasts of his weapon in the process.

Tifa, Aerith and Merlin looked on with a mix of excitement and wonder.
"Balthier! So you made it back here as well!" Aerith said with a small giggle.

"Took us long enough, but we and our bunch of evacuees only recently heard that this world is getting rebuilt." Fran answered, standing on the top roof of a building, her shining silver Sagittarius-bow resting in her hand.
"Good enough to see you both survived the fall of the world 11 years ago." Tifa added, jumping over a third Armored Knight kicking it in the back.

Fran only gave a satisfied nod to this, her rabbit ears twitching a bit.
"The leading man won't die..." Balthier exclaimed in a somewhat dry tone, blasting the Surveillance Robot and the second Red Nocturne before kicking aside a hopping Crescendo.

"Watch out! That type of Heartless can call reinforcements!" Tifa yelled as she recognized the Crescendo.
"What? This little...? Balthier turned to see the Crescendo getting up, hopping around again and starting to make honking noises with its horn-like mouth.

As Balthier aimed to shoot the thing he got tackled by a flying Heartless swooping in.
"Dammit..."
"It's a Windstorm..." Aerith shot an Aero-spell at it, but it easily dodged midflight.
Fran loaded another red glowing energy arrow in her bow, but her shot also missed.

Four Soldiers charged, two of which got blocked and kicked back by Tifa while the other two got frozen by Merlin.
The honking Crescendo had by now opened a dark portal with its noises.

"Looks like here comes trouble." Balthier said with a wry expression.
With a mighty roar a Behemoth stepped out of the portal, surprising the gathered Radiant Garden defenders.

"Take the kids away from here, Merlin!" Aerith yelled, blocking the first energyball shot from between the Behemoth's outer horns with a Reflect spell.
Nodding, Merlin teleported himself and the kids away from the town square.

"You pesky honking nuisance." Balthier snarled, shooting the Crescendo with three well-aimed shots before dodging another attack of the Windstorm.
"You want some too?" He fired three more shots at the Windstorm, the flying Heartless dodging all three of them as the Behemoth executed a stomping attack, causing an earthquake.

Some rockspikes shot out from the ground and the shaking let Tifa, Aerith and Balthier first tumble and then fall to the ground.
Fran managed to hold on to a chimney on the roof as the Behemoth roared again, forming another energyball between his outer horns, his central horn steadily adding more power to it.

The Windstorm saw its chance and dived at Balthier, who rolled out of the way before taking aim shortly blasting a shot right through the draconian Heartless's right wing.

Crippled, the beast thudded on the ground as Aerith regained a good standing position, blasting the Heartless with a mighty Thundaga spell.

"That sphere gathers more and more energy!" Tifa warned alarmed, cloaking her right leg in magical water-energy kicking away another Sergeant-Heartless.
"Not good..." Aerith swirled around, whacking the heavily damaged Windstorm with her staff in the process.
Balthier also got up again now, hitting a small switch on his gun.
"First things first..." Instead of repeated energy shots the gun now fired a steady beam of electrical energy, finally eliminating the Windstorm.

Dusting his clothes with his free hand a bit Balthier turned then to Aerith. "Now, how do we get rid of this big baby here without too much collateral damage to the town?"
Aerith gave him a worried glance. "First we need to disrupt it charging that energysphere; the more energy it gets the less probable it can be blocked."

"Agreed, but how to do...direct shots at it don't seem to work...sorry..." Interupting himself Balthier took a side step to dodge the tackle of a Hammer Frame, frying it with the electro-beam from his gun before continuing. "...and neither does most elemental magic."

"Its most important part is apparently the central horn on the forehead." Fran's voice cut in from the roof.
"Great observation, can you hit it from above there?" Balthier shot back, grinning.

Fran smirked and instead of an answer, a new red colored energy arrow formed in her hand. "I'll try something bigger this time! Stay away from the monster!" She ordered with a sturdy calmness.
"Got it, Tifa! Aerith! Take a safe distance!" Balthier yelled, switching back to repeated gunfire and blasted two Armored Knights out of the way. The Behemoth in the meantime continued to charge its energyball attack as Fran poured more power into the formed energy arrow, white lightning bolts emanating from it.

Taking aim at the Behemoth's central horn, Fran raised her bow, the arrow now nearly overflowing with energy.
"This shall disrupt your charge: Manablast!"
The charged energy arrow flew directly into the Behemoth's horn, causing a red-white energyfield to explode, effectively absorbing the energy from the charged sphere and stunning the beast with a kinetic backlash.

"Splendid work. Now you three concentrate on eliminating the big guy. I take on the rest of the smaller critters." Tifa exclaimed, running over to a group of Soldiers starting to smash them with her martial arts skills.

As Tifa engaged the remaining smaller adversaries, Aerith and Balthier took battle stances before the stunned Behemoth, Fran remaining on the roof to provide long range support.
"Alright, let's send that thing back to the abyss it came from." Balthier stated calmly.
Aerith nodded, loading her staff up with magical energy.
Yes, we need to end this...more small packs of Heartless and also lower Nobodies have appeared in different parts of the town.

Further up, at the postern of the castle, Beatrix stormed out from the corridors, slashing Heartless apart with cold efficiency, Cid, Leon and Yuffie now right behind her.
The last Large Body charged at them, got stunned by Beatrix performing her "Thunderslash"-technique and then torn to shreds by a short combo attack of Leon's Gunblade.
"That should take care of those in the basement area...but Aerith and Tifa are alone in the town, and I bet in the upper layers of the castle there also appeared Heartless!" Cid shouted.
"Probably. Let's split up and search for more fiends. Yuffie and I go up into the castle while Beatrix and you go help Tifa and Aerith." Leon answered.

"Before that we have still a problem here..." Beatrix interrupted as three bigger Heartless popped up at the platform leading to the postern.
"Defenders...? No..." Cid wondered.
They looked like Defenders, but where red and black colored instead of the usual purple.

"I take care of them. Cid, you go to the town already and you other two in the castle. I don't want the people of Radiant Garden to suffer even more casualties after all those years." Beatrix raised Save the Queen, going into a battle stance.

"Be careful Beatrix, those Heartless are Eliminators, a stronger variant!" Yuffie warned.
"Thanks, but don't worry, I can handle them!" The Paladin retorted, signalling them with a head movement to hurry up to help the others.

One of the Eliminators immediately swung its shield at her, which Beatrix dodged elegantly with a small side step, slamming Save the Queen into the monster's side.
Unimpressed, the Heartless swung its shield back around, forcing the female Paladin to dash backwards.
The other two Eliminators now fired three energy orbs at her from the face of their shields.
Dodging the first three shots with an elegant side dash Beatrix blocked two of the second barrage, swatting the last orb back to the first Eliminator with her sword.

The Heartless also blocked it with its shield, then started a third shield swing while the other two now teleported right beside her, surprising her with a double charge attack that sent her flying.

"Gnn...pesky idiots." After using aerial recovery Beatrix conjured up a Cura-spell before landing on the ground again. Two of the Heartless charged right again while the third fired another three energy orbs.

Pointing her sword at the charging enemies her hair started to flutter a bit as she charged up another spell.
"Sanctus!"
An enourmous sphere of blue-white light energy materialized between the two charging Heartless, exploding into multiple shockwaves of light energy in several directions as Beatrix used an advanced form of the Holy-spell, blasting both Eliminators seemingly apart.

Sidestepping again to avoid the energy blasts of the third enemy she noticed, as the blinding light of Sanctus finally faded, that both of the other two were heavily damaged but still not defeated.

Tough nuts, aren't we?

Charging forward, Beatrix let her blade swirl around once before setting it up in a diagonal upwards angle.
The third Eliminator teleported again, but this time she was prepared, performing a somersault over its charge attack.
Ignoring the third one the Paladin brought her sword down in a diagonal arc, unleashing 'Climhazzard', a red-orange energyblast that radiated outwards in several circle-like bursts.

"Finally, two down, one remaining." Beatrix exclaimed, turning around to face the last Eliminator.
As it attempted another shield swing Beatrix met it head on with her sword, causing them both to stagger.
Recovering, the Heartless started another charge, which she countered with another "Shock"-attack, blasting the shield to pieces.

"And now DIE you horrid monster!"
Slashing it first across the chest, she swirled the blade of Save the Queen around again ending with a powerful lunge stabbing right through the Heartless, eliminating it.

"So much for these critters, now it's time to move into the town." Quaffing an Ether to load up enough energy for repeated use of her Seiken-techniques again, Beatrix started to charge through the restoration site, offing more smaller Heartless on the way.

I will not let this world suffer a tragedy yet again...never. I didn't wander through the darkness for several years and then countless other worlds before coming back seeing it crumble right before my eyes a second time!

Increasing her pace, Beatrix did not stop even for a small group of lower Nobodies, who seemed not overly interested in attacking her, but rather a group of other emblem Heartless.
She was befuddled a bit by this behaviour, but paid it no more attention as she didn't even fully knew what these white creatures are, it counted now to rid the town of known enemies, the Heartless, first.

#####

The battle for Radiant Garden is on now, yet next time, we will take a look at our main crew arriving at Disney Castle. ;)
 
Last edited by a moderator:

D.D.D

New member
Joined
Jan 23, 2011
Messages
860
Location
Stuffed in a sack and being thrown through a magic
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 23 posted)

Another great chapter, Sephi! I totally love your battle scenes and this one made me love Beatrix even more. :) Adding Fran and Balthier to the fray makes this story even greater. I'd have to say those two are my favorites from FF12. I absolutely love the focus you put on the FF characters, which is a lot more than in the actual games. It makes the story feel...tighter and closer-knit, I'd say. I can't really describe it.

The description in this newest chapter is splendid as well. The most vivid parts that stood out to me were when Fran let off that Manablast arrow and in the beginning with Merlin and his 'popsicles', lol.
Well, keep up the good work! I'm totally excited for the next chapter!
 

Key Wielder

New member
Joined
Apr 7, 2012
Messages
885
Awards
1
Location
Traverse Town
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 23 posted)

I cheered when I saw Balthier and Fran were in this. FFXII wasn't my favorite of the Final Fantasy series, but I absolutely adore those two. Balthier in particular is absolutely spot on, and this right here:

"The leading man won't die..." Balthier exclaimed in a somewhat dry tone

This, Commodore, is pure, unadulterated win.

The chapter was wonderful, as always, and your fight scenes are just as gripping as ever. You had me flashing back to those, "Caution! A strong enemy is near!" warnings in re:Coded when the Eliminators showed up.

I'm sorry I have so little to say, but it's difficult to articulate new praise when I've covered everything in previous reviews! Excellent job, and I really look forward to seeing what's new with the main crew. :)
 

Kiwi +

Joined
Aug 30, 2009
Messages
1,341
Awards
6
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 23 posted)

Haha, I haven't been on in a few days, thanks to other distractions. I'm glad I popped in to find a new chapter from you! This time really wasn't a long wait, really. Other times it seemed longer. xD

As I don't know most of these FF characters, I'm just relying on what you put into them, and what the other readers might describe as well. I think I get some idea as to how they really are in their universe, though. That just goes to show how rich you are in descriptions of such characters and scenario. Very, very well done! :DD
They seem kick butt, that's for sure. *3*

Next time, I'll look forward to what the main gang will face! I await thee. c:
 

Nov

New member
Joined
Sep 25, 2011
Messages
592
Awards
2
Age
32
Location
Finland
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 23 posted)

First of all, I'm terribly sorry for all the delay that I've caused because of my overactive real life. Hopefully we will be back on tracks as soon as possible.

Finally I am really able to comment these 5 past chapters that I have yet to comment on. And now, let's get down to business...

The Aqua chapters were definitely one of the most intense chapters that this story has had so far. As far as I can remember, they were not easy for me to proofread but as a reader I truly enjoyed the pace and action that the chapters included. I also liked the slight twist of Aqua and Sephiroth first fighting against each other and then ending up fighting together against a bigger threat even if they didn't end up becoming bffs. The describing made it very easy to imagine what is happening. I enjoyed the atmosphere of the chapter in general as well. I also think that you captured Sephiroth's character well. You definitely have done your homework in that department~ ;3

I liked the Lea part very much. I think he is little by little becoming one of my favorite characters in this story. You have a nice way (in the lack of better words) of writing him.
Whoopsy, that blasts through.
Haha, I can so imagine him saying that. In any case, I can't wait to see when he gets to interact with other characters and then possibly with SRK later on? Mm, just speculating.

To be perfectly honest, I was surprised when Beatrix was introduced to the story. I didn't recognize her when you wrote her in chapter 21 as an unknown character. The reason probably being that she is a quite unknown character for me when, unfortunately, I haven't had the privilege to play Final Fantasy IX. Therefore your character introduction came very handy and I'm grateful for it. It made it so much easier for me to picture the character (I'm still perplexed a bit that she is actually an antagonist at first). On the other hand, it's really fresh to see more unknown Final Fantasy characters in Kingdom Hearts fanfics. I think she adds a nice touch to the story.

I absolutely loved, loved, loved the introduction of Fran and Balthier (my favorite Final Fantasy XII characters and they actually might be on my all time favorite list as well). It was very easy for me to picture them and the lines for Balthier were top-notch. I hope to see them a lot more in the future as well. All in all, I enjoyed chapter 23 very much.

In general I still love the way you describe things. I appreciate the details that you add. I must also appreciate (and detest) your ability to make annoying cliffhangers, lol. For example the cliffhangers in chapter 21 and especially in, to be posted chapter 24. Argh.

Speaking of chapter 24, I'm happy to say that it is fully ready and just needs one more read through and then I will be able to send it. I won't say more that I enjoyed the change of pace that the chapter brought after 5 quite action packed chapters~ c: I can't help but drool at the thought of chapter 25.
 

Sephiroth0812

Guardian of Light
Joined
Oct 22, 2010
Messages
10,531
Awards
37
Location
Germany
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 23 posted)

Another great chapter, Sephi! I totally love your battle scenes and this one made me love Beatrix even more. :) Adding Fran and Balthier to the fray makes this story even greater. I'd have to say those two are my favorites from FF12. I absolutely love the focus you put on the FF characters, which is a lot more than in the actual games. It makes the story feel...tighter and closer-knit, I'd say. I can't really describe it.

The description in this newest chapter is splendid as well. The most vivid parts that stood out to me were when Fran let off that Manablast arrow and in the beginning with Merlin and his 'popsicles', lol.
Well, keep up the good work! I'm totally excited for the next chapter!

Thank you, I've contemplated for a while which enemies I should let face Beatrix, as most of the ordinary Heartless are just cannon fodder for an exceptional warrior like her.
I first thought of either a Darkside or the Guard Armor, but the former we already had in Aqua's and Sephiroth's path and the latter, while a boss, is still somewhat on the weaker side.
That's when I remembered the Elimininator from Re: Coded, who's a pain for many players. Letting her face three of them made it a bit more of an even battle which she wouldn't just win with some swordswipes, lol.

Glad you like the inclusion of Balthier and Fran. For this entrance amidst a battle I needed a dynamic duo, background being another group of refugees that escaped the devastation of Radiant Garden.
During planning stage last year I thought of using Ashe and Basch first, but realized that while Ashe may be suited as a leader-figure, she has no airship/gummi-ship, lol, so Balthier was the better choice.
That we have so much focus on the FF-characters right now is due to me not really following the usual formula of KH games. Sora & co. will soon have to deal with much grittier stuff and have no time to do a happy tour around the worlds. There will be travelling, of course, but only later when the first main antagonist is defeated.
There will be also some chapters from the view of members of Xehanort's party in the mix.

Tighter and closer-knit is a good way to put it as I aim exactly for that, keep the narrative knit together despite there being several different plotlines running.

Heh, nice you mention that. The "Manablast"-arrow is actually a new attack I made up for Fran in order to give her importance as a support unit who is capable of disrupting charge attacks from enemies.
Yep, Merlin fights by freezing the opponents. ^___^

The next chapter is already in preparation, it will come out this weekend. ;)

I cheered when I saw Balthier and Fran were in this. FFXII wasn't my favorite of the Final Fantasy series, but I absolutely adore those two. Balthier in particular is absolutely spot on, and this right here:

This, Commodore, is pure, unadulterated win.

The chapter was wonderful, as always, and your fight scenes are just as gripping as ever. You had me flashing back to those, "Caution! A strong enemy is near!" warnings in re:Coded when the Eliminators showed up.

I'm sorry I have so little to say, but it's difficult to articulate new praise when I've covered everything in previous reviews! Excellent job, and I really look forward to seeing what's new with the main crew. :)

Seems my decision for the two skypirates wasn't only better in terms of story-background, lol.
I hit a nerve here.

Gehee, many thanks. I'm happy I managed to get Balthier that good in your eyes. I found him very entertaining in Final Fantasy XII so I remember his speech patterns somewhat, as well as Fran's often a bit more stoic behaviour.

Hehehe, that means my intentions worked out. I did include those enemies for Beatrix to fight in the hopes readers would recognize just which breed of Heartless she has to face there, and even three of them.

Aww, it's ok. <3
You already covered much of the content of the current chapter in your review, so no worries about "too short" texts.
It's definitely worth it I dare to promise, as the pace is picking up now there will also be stuff to theorize about in short order as well as some intriguing issues revealed which will serve as a small preview of what to expect in the future of this grand tale. ;D

Haha, I haven't been on in a few days, thanks to other distractions. I'm glad I popped in to find a new chapter from you! This time really wasn't a long wait, really. Other times it seemed longer. xD

As I don't know most of these FF characters, I'm just relying on what you put into them, and what the other readers might describe as well. I think I get some idea as to how they really are in their universe, though. That just goes to show how rich you are in descriptions of such characters and scenario. Very, very well done! :DD
They seem kick butt, that's for sure. *3*

Next time, I'll look forward to what the main gang will face! I await thee. c:

I hope it were positive distractions. ^___^
Yeah, this time it was faster, also because Nov isn't so totally busy right now. This weekend chapter 24 will already arrive.

It's not that problematic, really, Balthier and Fran are, like the most FF-characters, important support characters, not really main protagonists. ;)
I'm glad though that my descriptions are good enough so you can make yourself a small picture of them and their personality.
I haven't got the time for an essay this time around, but I'll at least show you two images so you'll know their appearance as well.
Uh yeah, well, they're skypirates in their original setting and as a Viera (a humanoid race with rabbit-ears) Fran is a weapon expert and skilled mechanic.
Here they are:
Spoiler Spoiler Show


Spoiler Spoiler Show


The next chapter will finally detail the arrival of our main crew at Disney Castle, a bit more comedic stuff, but also more mysteries and Sora having made a plan by himself regarding the events of chapter 6.


First of all, I'm terribly sorry for all the delay that I've caused because of my overactive real life. Hopefully we will be back on tracks as soon as possible.

Finally I am really able to comment these 5 past chapters that I have yet to comment on. And now, let's get down to business...

The Aqua chapters were definitely one of the most intense chapters that this story has had so far. As far as I can remember, they were not easy for me to proofread but as a reader I truly enjoyed the pace and action that the chapters included. I also liked the slight twist of Aqua and Sephiroth first fighting against each other and then ending up fighting together against a bigger threat even if they didn't end up becoming bffs. The describing made it very easy to imagine what is happening. I enjoyed the atmosphere of the chapter in general as well. I also think that you captured Sephiroth's character well. You definitely have done your homework in that department~ ;3

I liked the Lea part very much. I think he is little by little becoming one of my favorite characters in this story. You have a nice way (in the lack of better words) of writing him. Haha, I can so imagine him saying that. In any case, I can't wait to see when he gets to interact with other characters and then possibly with SRK later on? Mm, just speculating.

To be perfectly honest, I was surprised when Beatrix was introduced to the story. I didn't recognize her when you wrote her in chapter 21 as an unknown character. The reason probably being that she is a quite unknown character for me when, unfortunately, I haven't had the privilege to play Final Fantasy IX. Therefore your character introduction came very handy and I'm grateful for it. It made it so much easier for me to picture the character (I'm still perplexed a bit that she is actually an antagonist at first). On the other hand, it's really fresh to see more unknown Final Fantasy characters in Kingdom Hearts fanfics. I think she adds a nice touch to the story.

I absolutely loved, loved, loved the introduction of Fran and Balthier (my favorite Final Fantasy XII characters and they actually might be on my all time favorite list as well). It was very easy for me to picture them and the lines for Balthier were top-notch. I hope to see them a lot more in the future as well. All in all, I enjoyed chapter 23 very much.

In general I still love the way you describe things. I appreciate the details that you add. I must also appreciate (and detest) your ability to make annoying cliffhangers, lol. For example the cliffhangers in chapter 21 and especially in, to be posted chapter 24. Argh.

Speaking of chapter 24, I'm happy to say that it is fully ready and just needs one more read through and then I will be able to send it. I won't say more that I enjoyed the change of pace that the chapter brought after 5 quite action packed chapters~ c: I can't help but drool at the thought of chapter 25.

Agh, no need, RL is RL, sometimes it can't be helped. ;)
Looks good so far with 24 already in preparation.

That I can only confirm. The chapters with Aqua and Sephiroth are surely the most fast-paced up to now where very much happens in very short time. Yeah, I know I used some iffy wordings in the first draft, lol.
It also serves to show off a bit of their power levels. Aqua is after all a full Keyblade Master, and while she isn't as fast as Ventus, her speed is nonetheless nothing to scoff at and while Sephiroth may be overall more powerful (if he would go on full power), she can go toe-to-toe with him.
It's also the very first "true" one vs one duel as Roxas vs Ven in chapters 2 and 3 cannot really be counted as a fight on a same level due to Ven's horrible state and Roxas deliberately holding back.
To be honest I wasn't too sure if that twist would sit well with the readers, although the Heartless Army giving a very good reason for a temporary team-up Sephiroth post-Crisis Core is normally not a Team player. It was delicate to balance, but just like Aqua says herself, it's a small alliance of convenience and they also don't cease to exchange insults and sarcastic remarks as before. ;)
I think I managed it just well so that they didn't got too friendly with each other.
Ah thanks, I'm always relieved when people say that I got a character written well, proves that researching into their behaviour is worth it.

Lea is always another field of difficulty to write since I try to somehow mix the more smug, ironic personality of Axel (and his more ruthless tendencies) with the more carefree, funny and loyal Lea we get to see in Birth By Sleep.
As for Lea's further role in the story, his memories now a total mess and him being confused because the Axel-memories being unordered and interfering with his Lea-memories I already brought up once before, that will be a point of interest later on for sure. In terms of characters, I can ensure that he will meet the main crew eventually, yet his first encounter with another character has already been foreshadowed in chapter 21. Lea has awakened down in the secret laboratory as he's the "lifeform" the main computer has detected, and Braig is already concerned about that, so...

I actually did not expect anyone to deduce who Beatrix is in chapter 21 because FF IX isn't really the most famous title in the franchise.
The essay was mainly to acquaint the audience with the character, as she isn't really the most famous character of that game as well.
Well, she's an antagonist at first because she has an oath to the Royal House of Alexandria and her loyalty is unwavering. So when Queen Brahne starts her conquest campaign the commander-in-chief has of course the duty to lead the nation's armies. It takes Cleyra being obliterated by Odin and the Queen ordering to execute the Princess for Beatrix to finally realize that Brahne has gone totally mad in her greed and lust for power.
That's when she finally switches sides and in order to atone for the crimes she committed by blindly following orders she holds off an army of monsters sent by the Queen in order to allow the main party to escape.
Heh, thanks. Beatrix' role won't be as big as some main characters, yet she still will influence some things.

Haha, I really made a good decision by choosing Balthier and Fran. ;)
Good to see that I once more managed to cater to your taste, hehehe.
Be ensured I haven't just introduced them as cameos, they will do some more later on, although they are, just like Beatrix, support characters whose won't get as much coverage as the main characters.

On my ability to describe things I am actually really a bit proud. When I write myself I have often a clear image of the scene happening in my mind.
Oh yeah, that cliffhanger is another mean one, like the chapter 5 cliffhanger with Ven's pain-seizure.

Yup, pretty many thanks, I already have it saved and started to improve it.
Glad you like 24 already, hehehe.
Ahahaha, so that's a subtle demand to get chapter 25 for Proofread, yup?
I'll see if I can send it tomorrow. ;)
 

Sephiroth0812

Guardian of Light
Joined
Oct 22, 2010
Messages
10,531
Awards
37
Location
Germany
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 24 posted)

Alrighty, the formatting took some time due to Word deciding to be a prick (or me failing in operating it correctly, lol), but here we are now with chapter 24.

Let's take a look what's up with Sora, Riku and Kairi arriving at Disney Castle:

#####
XXIV. The arrival - Darkness returns?

Mickey Mouse was walking up and down the main platform in the Gummi Hangar with Pluto sitting there, his eyes following the King's every movement.

I wonder what's taking them so long. Donald, Goofy, hurry up, the sun's already setting around here again.

"Your Majesty, don't you think you're jumping the gun too much? Taking things too hasty always invites making glaring errors." Scrooge McDuck spoke, having silently taken a stand beside Pluto.

Mickey sighed, ceasing his walking before facing Scrooge. "I know haste isn't a good companion when making important decisions, but that's not the case now. Sora and Riku need to be briefed at least on some elemental things before I can account to send them to Master Yen Sid for taking the Mark of Mastery exam. Then there's the issue of all those poor existences suffering, the 'things' Ansem the Wise apparently hid inside Sora and on top also our greatest enemy returning."

His face turning determined again, he clenched his fist while keeping his eyes locked on Scrooge.
"There's just too much to take into account to waste time."

Mickey to let out a relieved hum as he heard Chip's voice announcing the descent of the new gummi ship which had finally arrived.

Scrooge lowered his head with a small sigh. "Oh grace, if ye only had informed me of the whole importance earlier I'd sure given more thoughts on the funds for that digitizer."

Mickey dismissed it with a wave of his hand. "It's not changeable anymore, Scrooge. Since you got some business rights now it should come around to a, although delayed, success as well, right?"

Scrooge nodded. "So we might not get complications in this field after all?"
"That depends on if Gyro Gearloose and little Helper get it up by tomorrow." Mickey answered, turning around again as the main doors opened and the gummi ship landed.

As Donald and Goofy disembarked first with the three teens from Destiny Islands in tow Mickey immediately noticed something odd.

Both Donald and Goofy were trying hard to suppress some laughter while Riku looked like he had the urge to continuously let his hand meet his forehead, somewhat annoyed.

Sora and Kairi on the other hand had both somewhat pouting expressions, apparently upset.

"Gosh, I'm glad you finally made it here. Goofy, Donald, what's the fuss?" Mickey greeted them as they came to a halt before him, Pluto rushing from one to the other sniffling before settling down beside Kairi.

"Oi, oh, eh, nothing really!" Goofy was clearly out of words.
Mickey tapped his foot. "Seriously, I know the engines are too weak for the new model so it's slower, but taking the whole day is a bit stretching it."

"Talk about taking a detour." Riku groaned with a sour expression.
"It was not my fault that you forget taking our luggage with us." Kairi retorted, shooting an annoyed glance at Sora who snorted dismissing at this.

"It's not like we take our luggage everywhere with us as we didn't know we would get a ride this fast." Sora answered instead of Riku, pouting.
"Not to mention you don't need tons of stuff when going on an adventure, jeez...girls!" The brunette continued annoyed.

Kairi rolled her eyes at this. "I could say the same thing with you always taking everything too easy. Do you expect to run around for several weeks in the same clothes? jeez, boys."

"For that there are showers or lakes to bathe in. No problem!" Sora shouted back.

Now Riku really facepalmed, shaking his head. "Would you two stop it please? You sound like a bickering old couple!"
That caused both Donald and Goofy to burst out giggling while Scrooge and Mickey stood there baffled.

Both Sora and Kairi got flaring red at the notion, turning to Riku. "We're NOT an old couple!" They shouted at him.

"But you act like one, seriously, you're getting upset over the wrong issue. Fetching the four pieces of luggage didn't cause the main delay." Riku answered, shooting a fiery side glance at Donald, who gulped.

"It has cost us at least thirty minutes." Sora said in a grumpy tone.

"Pals, pals, could someone speed me up to what happened, it's not like we have all time in the universe." Mickey interrupted, on one side glad over the loosened up atmosphere while on the other annoyed about the late arrival.

All eyes wandered to the King, both Sora and Kairi looking a bit ashamed as Riku let out a sigh.
Goofy now had found the courage to speak.

"Gawrsh, I'm sorry your Majesty. But apparently we really did take a wrong wormhole and nearly ended up at Twilight Town."

"Hah? How did that come to pass!?" The mouse looked quite surprised.
"Waak, the navi-gummi started to act all wacky and I had to plot a course manually without any fixed values to base it on." Donald added sheepishly.

"Don't forget it only started to act wacky because you started pounding on it with your fist in your hot temper when it flickered a bit." Riku cut in, snorting.

As if only realizing that now, both Sora and Kairi sighed. "So that was the main reason!"

"Of course, didn't you notice?" Riku raised a brow.
"I slept most of the time." Sora admitted, sporting a wide grin.
"And I, was too much in thought to notice." Kairi looked aside, still a bit ashamed about her less than optimal performance before the King of another world.

Donald by now had lowered his head in a genuinely sorry manner.
"While the luggage caused some delay, the main cause was in all regards my fault, waak. I'm truly sorry, your Majesty."

Seeing this, Mickey's expression softened quite a bunch and he even let out a small chuckle.

"Well, everything's well that ends well, right? The most important thing is that you're here now. It's already late and you're probably too tired for an important briefing, so we'll move that to after a good breakfast tomorrow."

"Sounds reasonable, your Majesty. I apologize for any inappropriate behaviour." Kairi answered in a formal tone, making a curtsey before the King, causing the surrounding others to look on in surprise.

"Wha, wha? Oh." Realizing he had also not made the best figure, Sora also added a short bow towards Mickey himself.

"Gosh, now now, my friends, it's all ok now. I ordered Duchess Daisy to set up three comfortable rooms in the north wing of the castle for ya, all adjacent to each other and with a light meal for dinner. I sincerely hope all preparations will be done by tomorrow morning. Just follow me, pals."

With those words, Mickey gave an approving nod and started to turn around, four of the magical brooms entering the hangar intent on fetching Sora's, Riku's and Kairi's luggage.

Riku made a move to get closer to the King, actually wanting to bring something important to his attention.
Sora, fearing for what Riku intended quickly grabbed his best friend at the shoulder, stopping him.
"Riku, please, no. Don't inform the King yet!" He whispered, some of his brown hair strands falling in his view.
"Are you nuts Sora? The King is a true Keyblade master. He might know what exactly is wrong with you at the moment." Riku countered, somewhat angered.

The brunette shook his head determined. "No, not yet! Please let me try something else this night. I got an idea during the flight as well. If it doesn't work you can inform him tomorrow, alright?"

Riku frowned, all his worries about Sora intensifying yet again. "Why? What for an idea? I thought you took a nap?"
Sora sighed, now raising his head to fully meet Riku eye to eye.
"Some ideas come only to you through sleep, I have a suspicion now and I'm going to check it.
Look, I really do appreciate your concern and worries, but please leave me the chance to investigate it on my own. I don't want to involve any more people in my weird problems right now and let them worry about me, not when everyone is counting on me to help them."

Sora's entire face had changed to a more serious expression than Riku had ever seen before, making him gulp.

"But that's exactly the point!" Riku stressed after regaining his composure, who will help all those poor people in torment if you fall out of the picture or end up becoming one of them yourself. You are the key that connects everything!!!"

"That won't happen! I will learn to shoulder the torment, so let me at least try. If it doesn't work, we'll tell the King tomorrow, ok?"

With a sigh the silver-haired teen nodded in defeat, Sora was really stubborn on this and any attempt to convince him otherwise would be meaningless now.

"Ok then, let's go inspect our rooms. Kairi, Donald and Goofy are already looking suspiciously at us."
"Hmmhmm, I hope I have a big, really fluffy bed to cuddle in." Sora added, his voice now normal volume and cheerful again.

Riku was simply amazed, every time again he wondered how fast Sora managed to regain his positive outlook.
Must be in his nature I guess.

They now followed Mickey and Scrooge, who went first, followed by Kairi, Donald and Goofy in the middle through the courtyard, heading to a part of Disney Castle Sora had not seen before.

As he walked beside Riku, hands behind his head again humming a melody, Sora played his plan through again in his mind which he intended to realize this night.

When I concentrate enough and free my mind of all distracting things I should be able to reach into my own heart, coming to that place with those weird glass pillars.
I don't know if it's a dream or not, but I have to try it at least. Ever since I came to know he exists I wanted to meet him, I just could and still cannot figure out exactly how.
If my suspicions are correct it is he who is suffering so much which also affects me, I need to find out why, and then find a way to help him.

Returning his thoughts to the physical world he noticed Kairi, Donald and Goofy turning around to Riku and him, the duck and the dog jumping in surprise and Kairi squeaking.

"Riku, your arm!?"

What? Sora took down his own arms, turning aside to Riku, who held his own left arm away from himself with a disgusted expression.

"What the heck!? Why is Darkness seeping from your arm, Riku?" He cried surprised.
"I thought you can control it now!?" Kairi added in confusion as Mickey also turned around, alarmed.

"It's not my Darkness!!!" Riku answered in a pressed tone, flailing his arm around.

#####

Heh, another mean cliffhanger, I know. ;P
But I never shy away from putting in more suspense, *ggg*.

Nonetheless I'd like to thank all the readers who follow the tale and those who take the time to comment on it. It really means much for me. ;)
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Key Wielder

New member
Joined
Apr 7, 2012
Messages
885
Awards
1
Location
Traverse Town
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 24 posted)

This was an awesome chapter as usual. Let's take it step by step, because there is a ton I could say on this one to make up for my last review:

1. The comedy was brilliant. Donald doesn't really drive the gummi ship anymore since Sora has taken the wheel, so him having a fit over the controls is just too hilarious. I was also able to hear Riku's comments spoken with his voice in my mind, which just made it even better. He has that dry sense of humor and it comes across very well in that part.

2. I love Sora's rather characteristic show of bravado and being able to (or at least trying to) take care of himself without worrying anyone else. That's something that you see in the games but is often considered just Sora being an idiot, so it's nice to see that really fleshed out here as him caring more about keeping everyone happy than worrying them needlessly. I'm sure you won't spoil the surprise, but I'm thinking Sora will be having a little conversation with Roxas and, if he's capable, Ventus very soon. :D

3. Riku's situation was a "gasp!" moment. He just can't seem to catch a break, can he?

Suspense is part of what makes a great story, so I'm loving these cliffhangers! They are evil, but the waiting is part of the fun. ;D Thanks so much for updating so quickly this time, and I'm looking forward to the next one!
 
Last edited:

Nov

New member
Joined
Sep 25, 2011
Messages
592
Awards
2
Age
32
Location
Finland
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 24 posted)

Once again I must say that I love the change of pace that this chapter brought into the story. Especially when it involves Sora, Riku and Kairi, whom I've missed quite a lot, I'm one happy reader. I liked the way you added humor in it although it has some serious elements as well. A really nice, versatile chapter I must say. All in all I enjoyed this chapter very, very much~

I actually noticed this time that it's totally different for me to read the chapter in Word than here, in the thread, haha. Most likely because of the fact that I can read this freely without searching for mistakes and errors, lol. Even though I don't mind the latter, I get to read the chapters in advance, hoho. c:<

Anyway. First of all, I liked the way you wrote Riku in this chapter. I really like dry (side note: and sarcastic and cynical type of humor even) so I definitely enjoyed his remarks. Especially when he calls Sora and Kairi an old couple. Loved also their reaction to that, haha. I can imagine it very easily. I also like the way that he is worried about Sora (and I also like how Sora is worried about him, as he should be).

I'm not the biggest fan of Mickey in the world. I don't really care for him in KH as a character in general (shame on me~ ´3`) but I really do like the way you write him in your story. To be honest, he has really grown on me.

And need I say more about the, yes, indeed, evil cliffhanger? That was so unexpected that I considered it almost mean.

Can't wait that you post chapter 25 as that's a great chapter as well.
 

D.D.D

New member
Joined
Jan 23, 2011
Messages
860
Location
Stuffed in a sack and being thrown through a magic
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Hearts in Unison (Chapter 24 posted)

Evil, evil, evil, evil cliffhangers. ;) But despite that, (which makes me want to read the next chapter even more), this chapter was great to read. I have to say that the dialogue really made it shine. It was lighter hearted, it was cute (in some parts), and it was a joy to read.

Donald was seriously hilarious in this chapter; lol, hitting the console just because it was flickering. Riku's sense of humor is always nice to read, just because he's so serious and then BAM! he hits everyone with a dry-humored joke.

I like the way this story is going. It's great that you're taking it a little bit slower, because in a lot of fanfics they're like, "Sora passes the MoM. Finds Aqua like a day later. Finds Ven about a week later. Beats the crap out of all the big enemies during that time. And then Roxas and Xion are freed with basically the amount of time it takes to snap your fingers. And then they have Terra coming in and being like, "Well, I was stuck with Xehanort but I freed myself and yeah, it was hard, but I'm free now."

And I'm like:
no.jpg


Anyways, great job! I look forward to the next chapter. :)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top