- Apr 28, 2007
LMyLife.com - Because life is awesome
Today, my girlfriend says she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach. She got mad and dumped me. Either way its not my problem anymore. LML!!
Today, I got home from my 2nd tour in Iraq. My girlfriend broke up with me for another soldier while I was still there. Five minutes ago I found out that the same guy she dumped me for died in Iraq. LML
Last week, I was at the bar and there was this really drunk girl. I told her I was the bouncer and needed to see her ID. She gave me her whole wallet and I said thank you and I took her wallet and left, she didn't even notice! I'm still destroying her credit score today! LML
Last week I told my girlfriend she should wear her skirts shorter, she said ok I will if you wear your pants shorter. I pulled up my pants to my knees thinkin' she'd play fair and put on a really short skirt. But instead she just looked at my pants around my knees and said "ok, I get it," and put on a skirt that came down to her knees. I got mad, and raped her.
I have been stealing from my company. The management finally caught on, but blamed the wrong guy, who ended up getting fired. This guy was my supervisor, who I hated very much, and I ended up getting his job.