Help/Support ► Lonely

[snowdog]

Exactly what it says on the tin. :<

Essentially, my friends don't want to know. We talk a little at school, but I'm somewhat of an afterthought. It's like, if there's no-one else around for them to sit with, then they'll sit with me, and begrudgingly talk to me. Although I try to talk to them outside of school - not looking too desperate though, just the occasional friendly 'hi' on MSN, or the odd text message - I don't really get much response other than they're doing fine, or whatever.

It's Spring Break right now and beforehand I mentioned we should do something, but so far, nothing has happened, despite me asking a few people what they thought.

Found out through a - very short - conversation with one that they've been doing lots of stuff already.

Needless to say, I'm tired of it. u_u Recurring problems are coming back as a result, and if I can avoid those progressing, I will. Unfortunately they're already setting in. I know I can't force someone to be friends, but it'd be nice to just have someone to talk to, or at least know where I stand with them.

Do you think I should bring it up with them, or just accept they don't want to spend time with me? Thanks.

<3

 

[Lycanthrope]

Hey Snowy. I've never been in this sort of situation, but I'll do my best to help. <3

First off, have you tried to do anything at all? As in, invite some of your friends to your house or the movies or something? That's generally what I do, along with my friends.

Just to kind of get a better idea of this dilemma, exactly how many people are we talking about? Like, a general number, not exact.

 

[Massive Attack]

Just hang out with your boyfriend? : P

I dunno ... bring it up, that's all you can really do.

 

[snowdog]

Thanks, FF. Tried as many times as I can think of, but it does little. There was this other time I suggested going to the cinema, to a film they all agreed on, and they, uh, went without me. =/ And there are about six of us.

Lol, MA <3 He has his own friends to hang out with. It's not healthy to hang out with your boyfriend ALL the time. We need our own lives, as much as I love him.

<3

 

[Massive Attack]

Lol, MA <3 He has his own friends to hang out with. It's not healthy to hang out with your boyfriend ALL the time. We need our own lives, as much as I love him.

<3

My lazy suggestion XD
Well, that shows what kind of weirdo I am, I'm always only hanging out with girlfriends .... : P

 

[Rix]

awww... Actually i feel like I'm in the same situation as yours sometimes fells like my so called friends wants to see me only when they don't have anything better to do.... I understand how you feel..

 

[Lycanthrope]

Well, that shows what kind of weirdo I am, I'm always only hanging out with girlfriends .... : P

I hang out with girlfriends alot. That might be why my relationships last like 2 weeks

Back on topic, maybe you could try just doing something with one of them or something. Are you essentially just like the one who isn't necessarily as close to everybody as they are? Or is there maybe someone else in your posse that tends to kinda not get in the mix of things?

 

[Lancelot]

i have to say i feel like that a lot too. I would try to bring it up, but then again, depends on what sort of people they are. With my friends, one of em seems to want all of the attention all the time, and the other one kinda just goes with him. But when i bring it up, its like "oh let's do something" but nothing ever happens. So yeah, just try and alert them to it. And if they really are not gonna take notice, then maybe try and find some other friends too

 

[Massive Attack]

I hang out with girlfriends alot. That might be why my relationships last like 2 weeks

Oh ... damn ... same here .....

 

[snowdog]

awww... Actually i feel like I'm in the same situation as yours sometimes fells like my so called friends wants to see me only when they don't have anything better to do.... I understand how you feel..

It's a horrible feeling. I feel like even though I take an interest in them, they don't want to do the same for me. One-sided friendship FTL.

Back on topic, maybe you could try just doing something with one of them or something. Are you essentially just like the one who isn't necessarily as close to everybody as they are? Or is there maybe someone else in your posse that tends to kinda not get in the mix of things?

It's not that I'm not close to them. I suppose you could say they've been drifting from me for a while. I've tried a few times to get one alone but whenever I suggest something they're like "Hey, we should invite -name- and everyone else, too!" - at which point they begin to plan, I try to stay involved but am not told details despite asking. And no, they include everyone else. >_>

i have to say i feel like that a lot too. I would try to bring it up, but then again, depends on what sort of people they are. With my friends, one of em seems to want all of the attention all the time, and the other one kinda just goes with him. But when i bring it up, its like "oh let's do something" but nothing ever happens. So yeah, just try and alert them to it. And if they really are not gonna take notice, then maybe try and find some other friends too

I guess. I'd like to ask them about it but I'm kinda nervous to do it. I feel like it'd come off as "omg why aren't u leik me" rather than me just wondering. I know there's an issue here seeing as it's been happening for so long. I'd like to think it were a misunderstanding on my part, like maybe I'm looking too hard, but when I think about all of it I think I have a point.

Finding other friends is hard. Let's say I'm not too well-liked. =/

<3

 

[Lycanthrope]

Snowy? Not too well liked? Blasphemy!

Finding new friends is hard. I went to a new school this year, and I only knew a few other freshman going in, and I hated them. But, within a few days, everything was great.

Really, you should try to get them to like you. Participate more intimately in conversations with them. And something that no matter WHERE you are, try to crack some jokes. Not randomly, but quick thinking has helped me whip out a few hilarious but relevant jokes.

Honestly ,as of now, I don't really know much that would help you. But I'll continue to throw some random ideas out there that might help. <3

 

[Lancelot]

hmm, yes, it is hard to find other friends. I have been in that situation too... well, about 6 years actually... I would be nervous to ask them too incase i got a bad reaction. Geez, all i can do is agree with you on the parts you said. I tend to look into things deeper than they actually go, and i tend to be too serious about stuff too...

Sorry, not trying to take it from you... But yeah, like FF said, try make a bit of laughter among some people. But be yourself too. Don't change yourself, cos in the end, it usually ends up being a regret

 

[snowdog]

I try to talk to others in classes and such but I feel I come off as awkward. I'm not very confident at the best of times for many reasons... *low*

I'm kinda quiet but I know I won't get anywhere without effort. So, I make the effort. But it never gets me anywhere. I dunno what more I can do to get people to like me... D:

Thanks for all this help. It means a lot. <3

EDIT: Oh, I know how you feel there. :< I tend to be very pessimistic. Doesn't show online - facades ftw - but I'm a negative person by nature. I tell others to be optimistic but I can't even do it myself. Maybe because I'm such a sucky person.

 

[Lycanthrope]

Again, everyone likes someone who has a good sense of humor. Try to take things a little less seriously (except academics, not a good idea. trust me). Try finding out what you're friends and various others like and conversing about that.

 

[snowdog]

I guess I could find out what they like.

But what if they don't think I'm funny? Then I'll just look dumber than usual =/

<3

 

[Q]

doot doot doot

Uhh, I feel like that pretty much all of the time, and I'm sorry I can't provide you with any advice on this. =/ I still haven't dealt with it myself. I just hope that you can get through it.

If nothing works, find other friends.

 

[Massive Attack]

I'm in pretty much the same situation at my school ... however I make it known, lol ... at times I can either be an opinionated brat or really introverted.

Anyway ... can you not find some friends outside of school?

 

[snowdog]

Thankyou, SMK. Hope you get things sorted, too. <3

EDIT: MA, most people here around my age tend to go to my school. >.> And they don't take kindly to girls that aren't frighteningly orange.

 

[Massive Attack]

Thankyou, SMK. Hope you get things sorted, too. <3

EDIT: MA, most people here around my age tend to go to my school. >.> And they don't take kindly to girls that aren't frighteningly orange.

Fake tan, yes? So, I'm guessing you must live in a village outside of Newcastle or something? Go hang out in the city lol : D

My comments aren't helping ... >.<

 

[Azazel]

My comments aren't helping ... >.<

Lol.

As for the topic, I haven't really had this problem. Seeing as I don't have many friends =0
I just moved, so I'm making some. But anyway, I'm usually the one that lies and turns people down. I just don't like being bothered, I guess. But it also gets hella lonely most of the time.

Er, maybe it's time to get new friends, Snow...