Help/Support ► My dad doesn't love me

[Dant?s de Divinity]

He really doesn't. My Mom loved me but only like a friend or something and my oldest brother doesn't want anything to do with our family. My other brother Dimitry is the only person in my family that loves me like he should.

I'm positive my dad never wanted a daughter. He loves my mom and brothers like he should but he just ignores me. Even when I do something wrong he doesn't pay to much mind to it.

When I almost committed suicide a few months ago my mom and Dimitry were sad and understanding but my dad just looked disappointed.

I don't think its fair that my brother should have to be the father figure in my life.

How do I get him to love me?

 

[Danica Syer]

Um, I don't how to tell you anything but well that's just sad and that's just seems unfair. So are you saying that he might love your brother more and or is not treating you like he should treat his daughter? I don't think that's right eithier, I mean considering you're his daughter and all. Have you ever talked to him about it? If so, try telling him how you at least feel, if not, I don't know what I can say. Religious wise, I could help but otherwise, if your not the religious type, then I don't know. Have you told him what kind of father he was being and all? Just wondering.

 

[Joy]

Why don't you ask him and say "Why don't you love me?"

That should confirm it.

 

[Dant?s de Divinity]

Why don't you ask him and say "Why don't you love me?"

That should confirm it.

I did, he just looked away...

I asked my mom if he did or not and she made an ''Umm... okay. What should I say'' face. She didn't say what or of course he does sweetie, or your father loves you. She thought about for a second and said ''... yeah.''

You shouldn’t' have to think about something like that. I asked my mom once about when I was born and she said they thought I was going to be a boy but she loved me anyway. I asked her again and once again she said ‘‘She loved me anyway.''

I think if I do something important he'll have to notice. You know be so close that he can't just ignore me.

 

[Morning Twilight]

I don't believe your father doesn't love you. I truly believe that is impossible. But what I do believe is that he doesn't know how to love you. You being the only little girl of his, is foreign to him. Loving a wife is totally different than loving children. Also, since he was a little boy, he understands little boys. You are a huge question mark to him.
When you almost committed suicide, I bet he was more disappointed in himself and the situation than you. Truly, I believe that he felt compassion, deep compassion for you, but he just didn't know how to handle it with you.
Also, with your mother, I bet she's trying to have a relationship with you. That's where you get the friend or something thing. That's kinda what my mom does sometimes. She forces me to talk to her about stuff, but that's only to try to have that relationship. She by no means does it right, but I understand her intention and let some stuff slide because she just doesn't know what she's doing.

I know this may sound weird, but you obviously love your family, otherwise you wouldn't care. Try to focus on loving them the best that you can. Generally things fall in place when you do that. If you want a change in your family, why don't you be that change? It'll be hard, so ridiculously hard, but I can tell you from experience, that it works. Just try to love the best you can, and things will start to change. If you need someone to talk to, PM me or post here: http://www.freewebs.com/helmofsalvation/

 

[Yannis]

He really doesn't. My Mom loved me but only like a friend or something and my oldest brother doesn't want anything to do with our family. My other brother Dimitry is the only person in my family that loves me like he should.

I'm positive my dad never wanted a daughter. He loves my mom and brothers like he should but he just ignores me. Even when I do something wrong he doesn't pay to much mind to it.

When I almost committed suicide a few months ago my mom and Dimitry were sad and understanding but my dad just looked disappointed.

I don't think its fair that my brother should have to be the father figure in my life.

How do I get him to love me?

There is no way to get him to love you. Its his own decision and Im sure you deserve a good father figure.

Still you shouldnt kill yourself just because someone doesnt love you. Maybe you could ask your dad about it and what is "wrong" in you that he doesnt like you.

EDIT:// Your dad is not worth of your life. If you kill yourself, its because of him and you wanna die for someoen like your dad who doesnt like you?

 

[shrekdog]

I honestly don't understand what's so important about having your family members love you. It's such a load of crap. I couldn't give two shits if my family hated me, honest to God.

Honestly, I can't see why this is so important to you, and I can see less why you would kill yourself over it. Try growing up, and thinking a little more maturely.

 

[AndyCloseEyes]

Because it's important to know someone loves you and cares enough for you to raise you. Everyone knows that. ^____^

 

[Joy]

I honestly don't understand what's so important about having your family members love you. It's such a load of crap. I couldn't give two shits if my family hated me, honest to God.

Honestly, I can't see why this is so important to you, and I can see less why you would kill yourself over it. Try growing up, and thinking a little more maturely.

I can say the same with you. There is the security of family of always having someone there to help, and a child, naturally, needs their parents to grow mentally, in a healthy way.

Maybe you not her, should step back and look at why you don't care. There may be something that's hidden with that midst of lack of caring.

 

[Dant?s de Divinity]

I didn't try to kill myself because of my dad. I tried to do it because I didn't think I was good at anything. I didn't have to many friends but I'm over that. My brother stopped me and that's how me and Dimitry got so close.

I just want my father to be proud of me. If you don't understand that need now then you never will. I want to be worthy to hold his family name. I want him to be happy when he sees me. I don't want to be a mistake to him.

 

[AndyCloseEyes]

I tried to do it because I didn't think I was good at anything.

But you're good at something! Even if it's just making someone happy, because someone, even if you don't know them yet, will be happy because of you. Just enjoy life the best you can.

 

[Dant?s de Divinity]

Its still not good enough for him though...

 

[Mythological Omega]

lol post deletion

Just ignore him, it's what I do with my dad.

 

[Dant?s de Divinity]

I don't want to ignore him! I love him a lot I just want him to return my love.

 

[Lone]

You know what you should do you should make a big fuss and get in his face and yell at him and get his attention and if he tries to walk away just grab him and turn him around and get in his face again until he listens to you and tells the truth or watever it is your looking for from him the love thing.

 

[stephaknee]

I can say the same with you. There is the security of family of always having someone there to help, and a child, naturally, needs their parents to grow mentally, in a healthy way.

Maybe you not her, should step back and look at why you don't care. There may be something that's hidden with that midst of lack of caring.

I agree completely with Dan. There's only security in family because that's how Western society dictates it should be. A child needs nurturing to develop through their early years, but as they grow older they lose that dependency. I don't feel like I need to share a connection with my family simply because we share DNA. I don't view or care about my family members any differently than I would with someone I'm not related to.

 

[AndyCloseEyes]

________

I agree completely with Dan. There's only security in family because that's how Western society dictates it should be. A child needs nurturing to develop through their early years, but as they grow older they lose that dependency. I don't feel like I need to share a connection with my family simply because we share DNA. I don't view or care about my family members any differently than I would with someone I'm not related to.

Obviously. ^_____^

 

[Fantasizes]

It's hard seeing and thinking about people who go through these kind of things.
Life is rough. :/

 

[Bukkake Sensei]

I honestly don't understand what's so important about having your family members love you. It's such a load of crap. I couldn't give two shits if my family hated me, honest to God.

Honestly, I can't see why this is so important to you, and I can see less why you would kill yourself over it. Try growing up, and thinking a little more maturely.

I have to completely disagree with this, actually. At this point in my life I'm an extremely independent individual and my parents' opinions of me don't really mean anything, but I'm assuming that Dantez of Divinity is much younger than us. And at a young age nothing is shittier than growing up without parental support.

When I almost committed suicide a few months ago my mom and Dimitry were sad and understanding but my dad just looked disappointed.

I don't think its fair that my brother should have to be the father figure in my life.

How do I get him to love me?

I'm going to give you some advice you really aren't going to want to accept:

You do nothing. You deal with the fact that your father's issues with you are in no way your own fault and move on. Honestly, from the sound of it you've done nothing to prompt him to dislike you so I can't say that I think it's your fault that he's a shitty, unloving father. The fact that you strive to make him proud should really be enough to make him proud. You've got nothing to prove to him even as it stands.

Of course you're probably not going to take that to heart. You're going to spend a great deal of your life asking yourself what's wrong with you as a human being until you realize that he is the one who is flawed and not you, because that's the way these situations always play out. But I wish you good luck.

 

[Fantasizes]

I totally agree with you. ^