• Hello everybody! We have tons of new awards for the new year that can be requested through our Awards System thanks to Antifa Lockhart! Some are limited-time awards so go claim them before they are gone forever...

    CLICK HERE FOR AWARDS

Help/Support ► My dad doesn't love me



REGISTER TO REMOVE ADS
Status
Not open for further replies.

Dant?s de Divinity

Bronze Member
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
1,910
Location
On a hill in a white dress waiting for my dearest
I'm 16 and the only female child in my entire family including cousins. I thought the natural way to get attention and affection was to be a tomboy.

That didn't work out to well.

I'm starting to think the second I'm done with college I'll move away. He doesn't seem to care anyway.

Maybe let him live his life and die thinking he out lived me. Maybe in the next life things will be diffrent.
 

dr.korytco

New member
Joined
Oct 12, 2007
Messages
710
Age
36
Location
usa
He really doesn't. My Mom loved me but only like a friend or something and my oldest brother doesn't want anything to do with our family. My other brother Dimitry is the only person in my family that loves me like he should.

I'm positive my dad never wanted a daughter. He loves my mom and brothers like he should but he just ignores me. Even when I do something wrong he doesn't pay to much mind to it.

When I almost committed suicide a few months ago my mom and Dimitry were sad and understanding but my dad just looked disappointed.

I don't think its fair that my brother should have to be the father figure in my life.

How do I get him to love me?

It's ok, welcome to my world. That is the way both my step father and father basically treat me.

A few questions though

How often do you talk to your dad just about anything?

How often do you see your dad?

When you talk to your dad are you comfortable ?

Sometimes people just get the wrong impression on how you feel about them, so you can think that he just hates you but in reality he may think that you want nothing to do with him.
 

Dant?s de Divinity

Bronze Member
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
1,910
Location
On a hill in a white dress waiting for my dearest
It's ok, welcome to my world. That is the way both my step father and father basically treat me.

A few questions though

How often do you talk to your dad just about anything?

How often do you see your dad?

When you talk to your dad are you comfortable ?

Sometimes people just get the wrong impression on how you feel about them, so you can think that he just hates you but in reality he may think that you want nothing to do with him.

I try to talk to him but its a often a one sided conversation. I bring up stuff that happened at school, fencing, with friends, you know the normal conversations that kids have with their parents. He just kinda dismisses me.

I see my dad everyday.

I feel comfortable only when nothing else is going on. Just me and him in a room. No TV, radio, or other people.
 

dr.korytco

New member
Joined
Oct 12, 2007
Messages
710
Age
36
Location
usa
Well, I would not get too worked up over it. In your case the father and son relationship could simply be over rated. Jut move on to womens !


A little more serious, but STILL serious , are you a really good kid? He may just have higher discipline and expectations for you to meet . How much older are your other family members? Being the youngest may have something to do with this, if you are the youngest.

Also to look at this closer, he may just be getting tired of having to be the parent that he is. Nothing truly personal just a mid life crisis or feeling old being a father to yet another young man.

Whatever it is, it is not your fault as long as you have tried. Whatever reasons he has are his reasons. Do not get so uptight , he is just a person. Sure you can have feelings of kindred love , but there is more to life than father and son. Consider your future wife and your son.
 

Dant?s de Divinity

Bronze Member
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
1,910
Location
On a hill in a white dress waiting for my dearest
My brothers are 22 and 20. I am the youngest
I think I'm a nice person. I help when I can, I try my best not to make fun of people, I get good grades on tests, I help around the house.

And I'm a girl. I think that's part of the problem.

I think I really do want to leave. He won't even have to think about it anymore. Get through school than just go.

I'm just not to be there ya know.
 
Joined
Jun 14, 2004
Messages
3,098
Awards
5
I'm 16 and the only female child in my entire family including cousins. I thought the natural way to get attention and affection was to be a tomboy.

That didn't work out to well.

I'm starting to think the second I'm done with college I'll move away. He doesn't seem to care anyway.

Maybe let him live his life and die thinking he out lived me. Maybe in the next life things will be diffrent.

The more I think about it and the more I read about you it seems like your dad's issues with you are more gender-oriented; i.e. he would've preferred it if you had been a boy. He's from Russia, isn't he? Hope I don't offend you by saying this (frankly I know essentially nothing about Russian customs and how women are perceived in that society, so this is kind of a stab in the dark) but it could be a cultural thing. Or maybe he's just a sexist asshole.

For whatever reasons, I stand by what I said originally; you can't change your father. He can either accept you and love you for who you are because you are his child or he can be a failure as a parent. He's the one who ought to be making you proud, not the other way around.

I think I really do want to leave. He won't even have to think about it anymore. Get through school than just go.

I'm just not to be there ya know.

Doesn't seem like he thinks about it a whole lot as it is. The thing is, you deserve to have a family even if he doesn't want to be a part of it. He can choose not to love you, but he can't make the same decision on behalf of your mother and brothers. It just doesn't work that way.
 

dr.korytco

New member
Joined
Oct 12, 2007
Messages
710
Age
36
Location
usa
My brothers are 22 and 20. I am the youngest
I think I'm a nice person. I help when I can, I try my best not to make fun of people, I get good grades on tests, I help around the house.

And I'm a girl. I think that's part of the problem.

I think I really do want to leave. He won't even have to think about it anymore. Get through school than just go.

I'm just not to be there ya know.
Well just keep your head held up high. Women who have a good heart find love quickly. Men are not as shy usually , wish I wasn't.

It is prob not entirely about you, as you say yourself you are a good person . It is prob about his life as a whole. I would not take it personally just be happy to be under a roof at the time, and that you have a place to eat and sleep.

It's ok. Life could be a lot worse and you know that.
 

*Demyx*

New member
Joined
May 3, 2006
Messages
105
Location
In The World That Never Was.
wel now you know how 2 be when you have kids someday.

and i know how you feel and it sucks.... but you gotta move on....

srry that i'm kinda harsh on you, but the world needs to be like that sometimes
 

dr.korytco

New member
Joined
Oct 12, 2007
Messages
710
Age
36
Location
usa
No! Children make their parents proud, children pick up where they left off, children make their parents smile.
All they need to do is say 3 simple words ''I love you.''
I'm the failure not him! He's a great man. I just want for him to see that I'm a great daughter.

Parents are over rated. Sorry.

You have done anything , everything to make any real father proud, sorry.

HE is a failure, I do not care how great he is.
 

Star Light

Star Light-Star Bright
Joined
Jun 16, 2008
Messages
1,400
Location
In the Sky... in your Dreams
It's the same for me. My dad loves my little brother, but hates me and when my parents were togeather, my mom as well. I'm his slave everytime I'm over there. I'd rather be ignored. Me though you have to be strong. Look at it as a way to make yourself stronger mentally. Sure we all have a parent issues. Some more than others, but we just have to ignore it. They still gave us our lives even if we think they didn't want us.
 
Joined
Jun 14, 2004
Messages
3,098
Awards
5
No! Children make their parents proud, children pick up where they left off, children make their parents smile.

You seem to have a very traditional, idealized view of a parent-child relationship. Obviously things don't always work that way.

Dantez of Divinity said:
All they need to do is say 3 simple words ''I love you.''

And for all of his achievements he's never been able to do that?

I'm the failure not him! He's a great man. I just want for him to see that I'm a great daughter.

Okay, so are you a failure or are you a great daughter? Those two things seem to be mutually exclusive.

Children shouldn't have to work to be accepted by their parents; he is your ****ing father. He's supposed to love you unconditionally and if he doesn't -- because you're a girl, no less -- then he has failed you. Plain and simple.
 

AndyCloseEyes

Enjoying the fact that I'm better
Joined
Jan 27, 2007
Messages
1,253
Age
30
Location
D'ni
It's the same for me. My dad loves my little brother, but hates me and when my parents were togeather, my mom as well. I'm his slave everytime I'm over there. I'd rather be ignored. Me though you have to be strong. Look at it as a way to make yourself stronger mentally. Sure we all have a parent issues. Some more than others, but we just have to ignore it. They still gave us our lives even if we think they didn't want us.

How come he hates you?......
 

dr.korytco

New member
Joined
Oct 12, 2007
Messages
710
Age
36
Location
usa
Stop getting drama over it. I know it must hurt but he is only human, and from the sound of it he sure the hell could be a better father. After all like you said you are doing everything to make a father proud. Any parent proud.

Be proud of yourself, do not worry about those impossible to impress, they are not worth anything if you can not provoke anything at all out of them. Face it....
 

dr.korytco

New member
Joined
Oct 12, 2007
Messages
710
Age
36
Location
usa
If you think you need this sort of relationship then continue on. You seem certain you have it figured out yourself, you just seem to want reassurance. You believe its all expectations, standards.....that deep down inside he does care...

What is the point of this thread?...??

You are telling not asking....
 

Lone

The Lone Wolf
Joined
Jan 24, 2008
Messages
1,706
Awards
2
Location
Around, mostly~
Its like my mom always says parents have to love their children but they dont have to like them.
 

risingfalls

Disjoin Remorse From Power
Joined
Dec 8, 2007
Messages
1,474
This is probably hard for you to accept, but you really should listen to Sam.

Your father should love you, regardless of what sex you are.
You shouldn't have to work for his love, to prove that you are worthy of being his daughter.

He can't do it because I haven't lived up to him
What the hell.
If anything, he's failed you.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top