Nice Guy Syndrome

[stephaknee]

I still see a lot of comments like "they don't deserve you" or "you deserve someone better. Which is the root of the nice guy flaw-- blaming the other person. If you do nice gestures, under the guise of friendship, and a woman still appreciates you only as a friend, do not brush it off by saying "she doesn't deserve you" or that you deserve someone better, who appreciates you etc.

Oh, I think people are focusing too much on the "sex" part of the article. I think you can safely interchange sexual and romantic relationships.

 

[KaiSparda1018]

I still see a lot of comments like "they don't deserve you" or "you deserve someone better. Which is the root of the nice guy flaw-- blaming the other person. If you do nice gestures, under the guise of friendship, and a woman still appreciates you only as a friend, do not brush it off by saying "she doesn't deserve you" or that you deserve someone better, who appreciates you etc.

Oh, I think people are focusing too much on the "sex" part of the article. I think you can safely interchange sexual and romantic relationships.

You win this thread .

 

[scubasteve]

she made the thread

 

[Reflection]

steph makes fantastic threads and fantastic posts.
+<3

It's way more fun to be an ass. Makes me more memorable too.

makes me wanna THROW UP

Nice guys get a) left overs from thier friends (gross) or b) crazy chicks who shouldn't be allowed to think about a guy.

just stop posting please

I find myself attracted to nice guys. Even if they're not assertive, that's kind of part of what makes them cute. It'd be nice to have a guy who is assertive or aggressive that can stick up for you or protect you. But in my case, I can be that way if I need to, and I would also like to avoid conflict if necessary.

same. i love nice guys. ;w;

syaoran.jpg

Nice guys are hard to figure out, you don't honestly know their motifs.

aha

ahaha

I'd like to classify myself as a "nice guy", but I leave that to others. But then again, most of the people I do stuff for typically don't remember me by the time the day ends. I'm a bit too random to leave lasting impressions. But anyways, to me a true "nice guy" is someone that would do something for others even if they don't know them. I mean, these days not many people will get out of their cars and walk through a busy intersection to help someone push their car out of the way, pick up some things that have dropped while moving or some other shit like that. A "nice guy" shouldn't expect any type of reward, but a "Thank you" is always nice to hear. But with that said, it's always best to know where you stand. It's not really the best idea to give a crying stranger a hug. At most, I'd just go up to them and try to cheer them up with my words.

I didn't read the articles, and I probably won't. I'm just giving my honest opinion about what a "nice guy" is.

while i think this isn't the nice guy we're talking about, i think this is also an interesting train of thought to follow. a lot of times people take the route of kindness and we hate that we don't get recognized for it.

those who stop being kind because they don't have recognition clear the way for people who actually are kind for the sake of others.

but i digress 3:

 

[Johnny Stooge]

makes me wanna THROW UP

still, makes you want to do something, doesn't it? in this case you feel compelled to make a statement instead of simply ignoring me.

am i not more distinct for being who i am, rather than some regular would be nice guy poster?

 

[Reagan Rayden]

am i not more distinct for being who i am, rather than some regular would be nice guy poster?

The people who agree with and comment the same exact thing as everyone else are far less memorable than the ones who take something and turn it into something unexpected.

I'm a "nice" guy simply because I'm too socially awkward to ever do anything that would be considered wrong. On the internet I'm the exact opposite.

 

[Johnny Stooge]

I'm a "nice" guy simply because I'm too socially awkward to ever do anything that would be considered wrong. On the internet I'm the exact opposite.

See, I don't like that. Who I am on the internet is exactly who I am out there in the real world.

 

[Nostalgia]

There are fewer social restrictions online because you're hidden by anonymity, so if you make an ass out of yourself, it doesn't really matter in the long run.

 

[Nyangoro]

Doesn't mean people can't be as true to themselves online as offline.

 

[inasuma]

That doesn't mean it will matter one way or the other if they are true to themselves online or offline.

It's just a matter of preference and environment. When I first started using the internet in my mid-teens, yeah I was totally different online vs. off. Once I got out of high school I stopped caring as much and nowadays I just act however I feel, no matter what the context. I honestly don't believe having a different persona online makes a difference. The only person it will matter to is the one doing it.

 

[Cosmic+Amarna]

Having different personalities, etc. is believed by some to be a disorder of sorts.

Lol jus sayinn

 

[Nostalgia]

That doesn't mean it will matter one way or the other if they are true to themselves online or offline.

It's just a matter of preference and environment. When I first started using the internet in my mid-teens, yeah I was totally different online vs. off. Once I got out of high school I stopped caring as much and nowadays I just act however I feel, no matter what the context. I honestly don't believe having a different persona online makes a difference. The only person it will matter to is the one doing it.

Exactly. That's the only person to whom it needs to matter. It's not as if anyone online will even know the difference anyway.

 

[daken]

Shut up! No, you shut up! I am You! You are me! Argh!!!

Anyways, I really dislike it when you know some guy is talking to girls completely differently then when they are talking to girls. You get that sick feeling in your stomach, like Man's intuition. I think it is usually the arsehole who gets the girls and the nice guy that gets screwed of; the Homer Simpsons and the Ned Flanders of the world.

 

[Wehrmacht]

Shut up! No, you shut up! I am You! You are me! Argh!!!

Anyways, I really dislike it when you know some guy is talking to girls completely differently then when they are talking to girls. You get that sick feeling in your stomach, like Man's intuition. I think it is usually the arsehole who gets the girls and the nice guy that gets screwed of; the Homer Simpsons and the Ned Flanders of the world.

Or the more attractive guy gets the girl lol

it typically ends up being that way

as far as online and offline goes, I'd like to think i'm still the same, on the internet i just have more time to formulate sentences so i speak better

 

[Zen]

The only thing different that I do online is the way I "talk". I'm less casual on forums than irl, simply based on the fact that I have more time to think about what I want to say and word it properly. I'm not like that all the time though, and it doesn't extend to chats.

 

[MegaWallflower]

Sometimes even though a [nice] guy has everything a girl is looking for, she doesn't feel any chemistry. Nothing more than a friend or a brother or a lamp. Not much can be done about that, I guess.

 

[theirlosthearts]

I am a nice guy, not the "let anyone walk over me" type but more of the "try to do the right thing without hurting anyone" type. I was hurt a lot for the first decade or so of my life, and I was pretty pathetic until I was 12 or 13. I was very intelligent and could beat people up if I wanted to, but I let people steamroll me all the time. Like I said, I got hurt a lot, but eventually I became thicker skinned. I'm 16 now, and I am myself, online and off. I do whatever I think is right regardless, but I try to keep from hurting other people whenever possible. I don't date, and the only interaction based on flirting that I do is rejecting somebody else's flirting as gently as possible. I seek friendship, not romance. However, I don't have a problem with telling people that I love them, that they're great/wonderful, etc. Which can be problematic since people sometimes misinterpret me as having romantic intentions. I have very few people that I consider friends, but I still try to be as kind as possible to strangers and acquaintances. Sometimes, the people I consider good acquaintances think that I consider them to be my friends, and all because I'm nice to them. Something like that actually happened this week:

I made a comment on a girl's pic on facebook and out of the blue she said the she hoped that I didn't think we were friends or anything. I told her that we were just acquaintances, and she blew her top. I didn't lose my temper, explained, and apologized if she found my statement offensive. The irony? This is the girl who got annoyed at me for not sitting by her in class one time. I'm considered a nerd due to my intelligence, so I guess she thought that I was some sort of desperate geek who wanted her love and that she was superior because of it. So, I think her ego took a hit when I told her that I didn't think we were friends. I love it when people that are jerks who think that "nice guys" like me are just wimps to be abused find out that even if a person doesn't show it, he or she can still have strength.

This thread really made me look back at my life. I was such a wimp ^_^