Okay!
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Ketso sat up again, greeted by a mourning Reynaldo. The pengy was clutching a kleenex and dabbing his eyes with his little pengy wing.
"Reynaldo?"
"Oh. I have not killed you, gub-gub. This is a good thing, gub-gub. A murderer does not get such a good discount on canned fruits as I, Reynaldo, do. The Master of this Galaxy commands a pretty discount of twenty five percent on peaches." Reynaldo stared dreamily off into the distance.
Ketso leapt to his feet. "You're going to defeat Van? But you're so little!"
A tear formed in Reynaldo's eye, and he turned around for a moment. "I am big at heart."
Ketso apologized, but he still wondered how Reynaldo would be able to save the world from Van. Reynaldo chuckled.
"Van is a very bad little lady-bug, yes he is."
"VAN IS A LADY-BUG?!" Ketso said, jaw dropping. Reynaldo nodded.
"He chooses not to use that form, gub-gub. And he has stopped using his magic word."
"Why? What's his magic word?" Ketso asked, curious.
"Bar-bee."
Ketso snorted with laughter, and he eventually fell on the ground, shaking. Tears streamed down his cheeks. Reynaldo was performing some kind of spiritual... Well, it wasn't a dance. It must've been a waddle, but he was still trying to purge evil spirits from Ketso by... moving. In circles. Ketso stopped the little penguin.
"Reynaldo! What the heck?"
"Is heck slang for "time of day"? Because it is currently 12: 56 here. The sun is shining." Reynaldo looked a little confused.
"No, I mean... What happened to me? I don't have a heart, and I don't have a past!" Ketso said, completely aware that he sounded stupid.
"What are you talking about, gub-gub? I will give you a heart later if we have time, but what is this talk of no past?" Reynaldo's eyes widened. Ketso tried to think of how to put it.
Recounting his whole story was easy for the most part. Reynaldo nodded when it was over, and was silent for about four minutes.
"Van is going to be punished for this. He made a mistake! We are not allowed to make mistakes."
Ketso was confused, now. "What do you mean?"
Reynaldo turned to Ketso. "Ketso, YOU are the mistake I'm talking about! This is why I was sent here, I believe. Van has been out of control for a while, so we gave him a part of this galaxy to play with. He's kind of... stupid, so we didn't think he could harm anything. But he did. He messed up a person. You're a glitch, and you are very dangerous to my galaxy. If I had a cane, I would wack you with it in confusion, gub-gub."
Ketso sat down on a small animal. "I'm a mistake?"
"Yes, gub-gub. A mistake. He messed up your past, Amme- my apprentice- tried to fix it, so he messed up BOTH of you. I will return Amme's powers as soon as we fix this situation."
Ketso frowned. "What situation?"
"There are many things. Let me pull out my computer." Reynaldo pulled a turtle out of nowhere. Ketso had seen one in a book once.
"Ketso," Reynaldo said. The turtle began to spew out information.
"Ketso has been considered stupid, a genius, strong, weak, and incredibly "glompable". His father is Gerard. His mother is Rikku. His brother his Gerard. His friends are Rikku, Yuna, Piku, Paine, Not Yuna, Myra, and no one. He has no past or heart. One time, he had three hearts, but now he has none. He likes pottery. He has many enemies. He has no enemies. He has lots of friends. He doesn't have any friends. He-"
The turtle disappeared. Ketso laughed. "You guys need to update that thing! Gerard's not my father! And Rikku?! My mother?! Impossible. I mean, they're only-"
"They are very young, yes. But pay attention, Ketso. Your birthdays. Did you hear them?"
Ketso had been paying attention to the pottery thing, and he hadn't heard what had come right after that. "My birthday?"
"Yes. It named two. Apparently, you were born fifteen years ago, and you will be born again in ten years."
"What?! That's impossible! I mean, I'm here right now, aren't I?! I can't be born twice! This is insane, and I-"
"-You are the one in between. Apparently, you're in between real and not real, too."
"BUT I WANNA BE A REAL BOY!" Ketso blurted out, and was reminded of an annoying puppet. Reynaldo put his hands up.
"Ketso, be quiet. We are going to sort this out. I am going to get the truth about you, and we will fill in the gaps, okay? I will help you, gub-gub, if you will calm down, gub-gub. After we sort you out, we can give Amme her powers, and the three of us can destroy Van." Reynaldo was very reassuring, but Ketso was still feeling uncomfortable.
"THIS ISN'T FAIR!" He said angrily. "I never knew about my past! Then, I think I figure it out, and I'm wrong?! Who's my father?! Do I even have a family?! No heart, no friends, I'm going to have to go through potty training again in, like, twelve years, and I DO NOT LIKE POTTERY!"
Reynaldo looked hurt. "I will help you, still, Ketso. Though you hurt my feelings. I happen to be the grand champion of pottery-contests in the Council of Us."
Ketso sat down again.
"Okay," he said, taking a deep breath. "I'm ready."
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Reynaldo pwns.