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Help/Support ► Obsessed or In love? What do I do?



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Beyer

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Okay, I have this guy at school. I was best friends with him for 2 and a half years (approx.) and then I started trying to get away from him because he was getting clingy and all that. It has been one and a half years of me trying to subtly hint it to him. However, I can not find it in myself to actually tell him to back off.

Well, I try to get away from him by going to other friends but in about a few days, he too is trying to be friends with them. He always talks to the one I talk to most as well. It is just freaky.

Then, he finds a picture of me on the school server (I will admit it is a bad pic) and he starts photoshopping it onto things, same as a few others. He does it on things like Harry Potter, Hitler and Superwoman. I get annoyed and ask them to stop and delete all the pics. Everyone but he does. He keeps it and then goes really far, he photoshops my face onto Jake Gyllenhall in a BrokeBack Mountain Picture. He even keeps this pictures on him laptop.

As if that didn't creep me out enough, he is always looking at me as I have conversations with others and even adds in things about me. He always walk over to where I am, always follows me and always talks about me. He always chooses the same classes as me and his dream career changes as mine does, to whatever my new one is.


He is really creeping me out and because he has never had a girlfriend or ever showed any interest in women, I fear he may be attracted to me. I may be gay but I don't want to be with him.
I discussed this with some friends and some say I am paranoid and making it up, some say he is just obsessed and others say he is gay for me.

After reading that what do you guys think (paranoid, obsessed or gay) and how do you suppose I deal with it, please keep in mind that I don't think I have it in me to just yell at him until he gets the message that I don't like him at all.

Please help
 

Dawning Twilight

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Well, I try to get away from him by going to other friends but in about a few days, he too is trying to be friends with them. He always talks to the one I talk to most as well. It is just freaky.
Hmm. You could try bringing it to a higher authority. Have ya tried that yet? Of course you could always just tell him to give you some space. But if that doesn't work for ya I say go tell someone.

Then, he finds a picture of me on the school server (I will admit it is a bad pic) and he starts photoshopping it onto things, same as a few others. He does it on things like Harry Potter, Hitler and Superwoman.
Seen shit like that before. ...wait did you say Hitler? wtf? I thought you said this guy was stalkin' ya. kinda confused by that. If he prints that stuff out save one for evidence and crap to show them so they don't think you're making it up. okie?

I get annoyed and ask them to stop and delete all the pics. Everyone but he does. He keeps it and then goes really far, he photoshops my face onto Jake Gyllenhall in a BrokeBack Mountain Picture. He even keeps this pictures on him laptop.
...what? I don't get it? how is that going too far? Regardless I say you should bring these pictures to whoever you can trust who can deal with the situation and force him to back off. srsly.

He is really creeping me out and because he has never had a girlfriend or ever showed any interest in women, I fear he may be attracted to me. I may be gay but I don't want to be with him.
Ah that's why. okay.

I discussed this with some friends and some say I am paranoid and making it up, some say he is just obsessed and others say he is gay for me.
it could be a mixture of the three to be perfectly honest. but regardless you really have three ways to continue. tell him to back off. tell someone who has the power to do so to tell him to back off. or finally just ignore it. your choice really.

After reading that what do you guys think (paranoid, obsessed or gay) and how do you suppose I deal with it, please keep in mind that I don't think I have it in me to just yell at him until he gets the message that I don't like him at all.
i don't know you so i won't judge completely. i think you should be able to judge it for yourself if you think through it hard enough. telling him to back off and give you some space isn't necessarily a bad thing for him nor does it have to be defined as yelling. it helps him to release/deal with the issue. so as i said three options your choice. can't help ya beyond that.
 
S

Shadow Soldier

Guest
Could he possibly be just mocking you?

Also, just come out full out and say it. Grow a pair, man the fuck up and say "OY! BUDDY! You like me or something?!" if he says yes, you say "Well I don't like, not one bit. Stop hitting on me and being a total fucking creep."

That will make him feel reeeeeeally awkward.

Or you could just mess with him to give him the impression that your obsessed like he is. All the things he's doing, do one better. It will annoy the fuck out of him.
 

Dexel

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Slap da ho, then ditch da ho.

--------------------------------

Seriously, though, man up and tell him. Don't just try to do it as non offensively as possible, they never listen to you otherwise, esp. if it's authority they respect above all. He doesn't listen, tell someone, but don't ignore it altogether. That's when things start happening.

Perhaps doing it back to him might work, though be careful in how you deploy this method: it may make him think that you're actually interested in him as much as he might be interested in you.* And please, don't end up screwing the pooch on this one. **

*I only say this because some poeple just have some pretty damn unusual ways to show affection.

**Another way of saying "For the love of God, don't just sit there, do nothing, and let yourself get screwed over".
 
A

Azrael

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Just be blunt and as told by Lionheart and many others tell that to back away or else.

He sounds like he wants you badly.
 

Beyer

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Yeah, I guess I should just really try to tell him to back off, thanx everyone so much, I really appreciate it. (note: about the brokeback mountain pic, he tagged himself over heath ledger...)

I was just wondering if there was some other alternative that I couldn't see. I guess there isn't. Thank you all very much.
 

αsiя

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"He wants you du du du he wants you so bad thats driving me mad its driving mad"
sorry ill jsut listening to that song and it has so much to do with this

If I were you tell him to fuck off
or just straight up ask him if he likes you
 

Lord_Marluxia

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He could Admire you to the point of obsession! , I admire alexia ashford and i kidna do the same things as him even talk as her sometimes XDD Its kinda bizarre but If hes so obssesed with you as I am with alexia He could want to be you =o I know its weird Sometimes i wish i was her XD shes so smart powerfull clever whatever... My mom think its ok with me XDD but c mon wE ALL WANT TO BE A MUTANT SOMETIMES XDDD! but yes you should take care of that =o I mean if alexia was real she could probably demand me XD or something =3! <3
 

Noir

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He does it on things like Harry Potter

Specs are hot


Nazism is hot.

Superwoman

Pointless super-heroes are hot.

I get annoyed and ask them to stop and delete all the pics. Everyone but he does. He keeps it and then goes really far, he photoshops my face onto Jake Gyllenhall in a BrokeBack Mountain Picture. He even keeps this pictures on him laptop.

Relax, brah. He's just wanking. It's all cool.

As if that didn't creep me out enough, he is always looking at me as I have conversations with others and even adds in things about me. He always walk over to where I am, always follows me and always talks about me. He always chooses the same classes as me and his dream career changes as mine does, to whatever my new one is.

Yeah, that is pretty creepy. Get your friends to lie that you died, then move to Mexico.

He is really creeping me out and because he has never had a girlfriend or ever showed any interest in women, I fear he may be attracted to me. I may be gay but I don't want to be with him.

Then bluntly ask him if he wants to tap ya. If so, tell him no. If not and he's just clingy, three-headed monkey the creep and run away.

I discussed this with some friends and some say I am paranoid and making it up, some say he is just obsessed and others say he is gay for me.

Maybe you are being a little paranoid. Think about his situation for a minute. How popular is this guy? You get people with a little shred of self-confidence, and as such, shyness can occur, and friend making may be harder. So what do they do? They generally hang about with the people they feel closer with. This would be you, I assume. Then again, this kid could be craze-eh.

After reading that what do you guys think (paranoid, obsessed or gay) and how do you suppose I deal with it, please keep in mind that I don't think I have it in me to just yell at him until he gets the message that I don't like him at all.

Please help

Just tell him nicely you're not looking for a relation. If you are, then that's the beauty. Score behind his back.
 
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Dogenzaka

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I tried to give your "stalker" the benefit of the doubt until I read

he photoshops my face onto Jake Gyllenhall in a BrokeBack Mountain Picture. He even keeps this pictures on him laptop.
(note: about the brokeback mountain pic, he tagged himself over heath ledger...)
He wants to explore your poop chute.
 

Beyer

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I told him just bluntly that I do not like him and gave him reasons for this as well as the obsession or whatever he has. He told me that I do the same and I asked "IF (I don't do that photoshopping stuff!) so then why are we being friends?' and he couldn't give an answer. So I basically cleaned up that mess thanks to you guys, seriously, if you had not told me there was no other way, I would still be searching for that non-existent way now most likely.

However, due to the holidays having come up and I wasn't 100% sure he got the message, I fear he may still be at it next year. I know what to do now though.

Being blunt works wonders, another friend of mine had a similar situation and he was blunt, it was over after only a day!
 

D∆NTE

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Is he gay ? I'm not trying to be mean or offensive, I'm just asking.
 

MangaCrazy101

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Well some of the suggestions here were good And i agreed with shadow soldiers quote very much so.
But maybe if you sat down and talked to him like as a friend during the hols to make sure he gets the message if not i Way agree with the others.
 

xgnarmanx

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Could he possibly be just mocking you?



Or you could just mess with him to give him the impression that your obsessed like he is. All the things he's doing, do one better. It will annoy the fuck out of him.


I don't think that will work. some people like that obsessed shit like really lonley people .

If this kid is obsessed with him and he just acts obsessed its just going to get this creppy ass kid even more interested.
 

Aqua.

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make him hate you somehow.

how?

ask sabrina she seems like an expert.

idk. just ! like.. tell him to back off, and tell him to go stalk other friends, or idk...

[i would say just start treating him like shit but that is so mean please don't do that...]
 

Beyer

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Hmm, I didn't really use his obsession too much in our discussion.
I used the following points as to why I don't like him and why I want to spend minimal time with him:
~He is NEVER supportive! He always focuses on the negatives and it annoys me to no end!
~Kinda like the above post but, he never accepts anything I like or do. He doesn't accept who I am and constantly tries to change me
~He is extremely childish
~He is stubborn and will never listen to reason
~I have not had a fun time with him in a while
~When my nan died, who I loved greatly and practically lived with, I was at his house that night and he was told before me. That gave him no right to 'Yeah, I knew before you' when I told him, thinking he didn't know. (That was where the friendship began to fall)
~Creepy photoshopping of me...

So yeah, eventually it just came down to our friendship, whether he loved me or not become a very small thing.

He told me I NEEDED to hate him and that he was sick of my shit, I just said fine and he went home. He hasn't talked to anyone since really. Apart from his work I am assuming.

But overall, I talked to him and made my feelings clear, but yet, I can't shake the feeling he didn't quite get the message.
 
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