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Help/Support ► Official Family Problems Thread.



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fnklzxx

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I understand many of people have problems at home, and need help with them.

I, personally, have been through a lot.
And I'd be glad to offer advice.

Just ask away and I, or any other helpful KHI member will do the same.
:]

If you don't want to ask about your problem in the thread for any reason, talk to me or one the official helpers.



Official Helpers:
Bumblebee
Sora/Riku/Kairi
 
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Lancelot

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I might as well hang around this thread too, I've had my fair share of crap, so I'd be willing to help if I can
 

Reika Noko

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My family never supports or encourage me in general, so I'm stuck to be independent on my choices and responsibilities doing it my own way which is actually what they teach me. And if I do something wrong one time or if I start complaining, they yell at me. My brother even calls me a failure sometimes.

Do I need any help?
 

fnklzxx

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My family never supports or encourage me in general, so I'm stuck to be independent on my choices and responsibilities doing it my own way which is actually what they teach me. And if I do something wrong one time or if I start complaining, they yell at me. My brother even calls me a failure sometimes.

Do I need any help?

Families are supposed to be a place where you can go for comfort, or for help.
To love and encourage you, and steer you in the correct direction.

There's really not much you can do to change the way your parents act, but to not let it affect who you are as a person, and be a better parent for your kids.

I guess it's good that you're beign taught all about responsibility, but there are better ways to learn than flat-out neglect.
 

Efflictim

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I'll sign up to help. I don't have that many problems at home but I do know handle them when they do happen. So can I sign up?
 

Vossler

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Its weird about 2 weekends out of the month my parents fight over one anothers problems which turns around on me and I end up getting in trouble.
 

fnklzxx

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Its weird about 2 weekends out of the month my parents fight over one anothers problems which turns around on me and I end up getting in trouble.
Have you tried talking to them about it when they aren't fighting?
one-on-one would be best.
be mature about it.
And explain to them it isn't right for them to punish you for their problems.
Try this if you haven't.
Lemme know how it goes.
And make sure you plan what you're going to say.

And obviously if its physical, call child services.


EDIT: S/R/K, added.
Welcome to the group, and thanks for wanting to help out.
 

Vossler

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It's not pysical the way it usally goes down is that I do confort my mom one on one because she is way easier to talk to my dad and I ask why they are fighting and we talk and I say someting positve about my dad,then she jumps on me and says stuff like are you taking his side on this and stuff like that.
 

fnklzxx

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It's not pysical the way it usally goes down is that I do confort my mom one on one because she is way easier to talk to my dad and I ask why they are fighting and we talk and I say someting positve about my dad,then she jumps on me and says stuff like are you taking his side on this and stuff like that.

Alright.
Well does she jsut freak out, or do you actually get punished for it?
 

Efflictim

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Have you tried talking to them about it when they aren't fighting?
one-on-one would be best.
be mature about it.
And explain to them it isn't right for them to punish you for their problems.
Try this if you haven't.
Lemme know how it goes.
And make sure you plan what you're going to say.

And obviously if its physical, call child services.


EDIT: S/R/K, added.
Welcome to the group, and thanks for wanting to help out.

I'll try the best I can to help.
 

Efflictim

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It's not pysical the way it usally goes down is that I do confort my mom one on one because she is way easier to talk to my dad and I ask why they are fighting and we talk and I say someting positve about my dad,then she jumps on me and says stuff like are you taking his side on this and stuff like that.


My Mom has done that to me too. Tell her you're not taking anyone's side. Now do that and hug her and then walk away. It works with my Mom all the time, I hope it works for you.
 

fnklzxx

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It just depends on how made she is.

Just explain to ehr that you can't get in trouble for what you did.
She's abusing her parental power because she's angry.
Like if a mod here neg-repped you or banned you because you added someone as a friend that they didnt personally like.

Let me illustrate with my own personal parent story.

Awhile ago my friend decided to buy my extra xbox.
He has paid 50/200 on it so far, but had recently quit his job so he could get his grades up for his senior year.

My mom asked me if he could pay yet, and i todl ehr not to worry about it, i'll worry about it.
she got fairly upset, and demanded to knwo why eh couldnt pay.
at this point, i informed her he didnt have a job at the moment.
she was not thrilled, and continued to basically insult my friend on his choice to quit a job while he owed someoen money.

At this point, i was thouroughly angry at my mother for talking down about my friends.
I simply said "mom, you're done" as i gout out of the car for school. She replied wuith "you're done with your friends". I siimply said goodbye and left.

She later texted me saying i was grounded through the weeknd. I replied saying she cant talk down about my friends and expect me to take it. I thene xplaiend that if i had done something to deserve being grounded, i would accept the punishment, but i had done nothing wrone but assertively [not aggresively] stand up for my best friend. she later called em and asked if i wouldnt to go see a billy joel concert with my grandparents the very weeknd i was supposedly grounded.

The point is: jsut talk your way through this maturely.
Prove to your parents you aren't jsut a kdi to be pushed around, but an adult with a sense of morals and maturity.
 

fnklzxx

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I will try that they didn't fight this weekend thankfully.
And most important, when they are fighting, stay out of the way, but be prepared to take some sort of action if anything bad starts happening.

If it seems like domestic violence might become an issue during a fight, just have a phone ready, and stay clear of danger.
 

Vossler

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And most important, when they are fighting, stay out of the way, but be prepared to take some sort of action if anything bad starts happening.

If it seems like domestic violence might become an issue during a fight, just have a phone ready, and stay clear of danger.
I don't think my parents would be involved in any kind of violence,they fight but they still love each other so I don't think I should worry about violence,should I?
 

fnklzxx

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I don't think my parents would be involved in any kind of violence,they fight but they still love each other so I don't think I should worry about violence,should I?
You shouldn't worry about it.
But my motto is hope for the best, but be prepared for the worse.

If the worst should happen, at least have a plan for what you would do in the unlikely event.
 
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