Chapter 7: The Island’s Dark Secret… Escape From the Pranksters’ Paradise!
Sometime later, back on the mainland, we find Honest John and Gideon walking merrily along the empty street as if they owned it. In Honest John’s hand was a large sack of money earned from the Coachman.
Honest John: Well Giddy, today is most certainly our lucky day. This morning we came as paupers but tonight we walk as kings! *pats the bag of money* And they say that crime never pays, hey Giddy?
Gideon said nothing but shook his head in agreement.
Honest John: but you know, I can’t help but almost feel sorry for the wooden boy…
Gideon tilts in head in confusion.
Honest John: …almost! But at least he’ll make some contribution so society…as a beast of burden! Hahaha!
Gideon shakes his head in agreement and then hiccups.
Honest John: Come Giddy, the night awaits us and with it, our fortune!
Just as Honest John was about to go into another rendition of Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee, he bumps into something, causing him to drop his bag of gold to fall into the ground. Luckily for him the bag didn’t burst open, but he was quite annoying at being bumped.
Honest John: Watch where you’re going you—
Honest John looks to see who he bumped into, it was the robed drunk from the Red Lobster Inn earlier tonight. Of course, Honest John did not see him at the inn before and assumed he was just another wayward street bum. His staggering stance suggested that he had a little too much to drink.
Honest John: Ahh, look Giddy, a fellow vagabond!
Cloaked Man: *drunkenly* Sssay, mmister *hic* watch ere you are go-*burp*
Honest John: Seems our friend is bit tipsy tonight, hey Giddy.
Cloaked Man: *sees the bag* H-hey, whatssh in the b-*hic*-the ba-*hic*-ba-*hic*-what’s in there? *points to the bag*
Honest John: *hides the bag behind his back* Oh this! Well…ugh…this is just some…sweets for my dear old granny. She does enjoy treats and wanted me to make a midnight run for her. Right, Giddy.
Gideon nods in agreement while the Cloaked Man ponders with a stupidly drunken expression on his face.
Cloaked Man: …okay!
Honest John: Well I love to stay and chat the night away, but granny is expecting me so, ta-da! *walks away with Gideon*
Cloaked Man: Toodledy-loodledy…*normal voice* J. Worthington Foulfellow.
Honest John: Yes, yes, toodle—
Suddenly, he stops dead in his tracks when he heard that named called out. For you see, J. Worthington Foulfellow was Honest John’s real name, one he hasn’t went by in a long time.
Honest John: J. Worthington Foulfellow?! Why, no one’s called me by that name in years…in fact the only person to ever call me that was—
His eyes widened with the sudden realization of who the man was.
Honest John: YOU!!!
No sooner did he turn around to face the cloaked man, Honest John found himself staring down the barrel of a trumpet-shaped gun pointed directly at him!
Cloaked Man: Long time no see…I’m glad you still remember me after our last ‘encounter’ and I see you’ve been up to your old tricks again.
Honest John: Who me? Well, I was just a…wha-what I mean is…ugh…eh…goodbye!
Cloaked Man: Hold it!
Honest John tries to make a run for it, but the Cloaked Man manages to grab him by his cape. The sudden tug causes him to drop the bag, but this time it bursts open, spilling its gold coins all over the street. Honest John, seeing the coins scatter across the ground, gets down and frantically grabs as many as he could…until the Cloaked Man pinned his hand with his foot.
Cloaked Man: Sweets for your granny, eh? *picks up a coin* Unless these are chocolate coins, I think your ‘granny’ could chip her dentures on these…
Just then, Gideon crept up behind the Cloak Man, ready to bop him with his mallet. But the Cloaked Man senses this, ducks, grabs Gideon by his mallet and flings him into Honest John.
Cloaked Man: Hehehe...you think I’d fall for that bit, especially after the last time. Now then…about this money…
Honest John: N-n-n-n-n-now listen! If you think that i—
Cloaked Man: Save it! I already know about your deal with the Coachman. And don’t ask me how I know, because I heard everything back at the Red Lobster Inn. All I want from you is where’s Pleasure Island?
Honest John: Pleasure Island?! Why would I know where that horrid place is? Ugh…ask Giddy, he’d know.
Gideon shakes his head yes but then shakes no, after realizing what he was agreeing on.
Cloaked Man: I’d sooner ask a blind man to lead me to King Midas’ Gold. But if you’re not willing to talk, I got other ways of making you.
Honest John: W-w-wait! You’re not gonna hurt me, are you?! I’m a physical coward and I can’t stand intense pain.
Cloaked Man: Who me? Heavens no, Foulfellow. I wouldn’t dream of doing such harm unto you over something like that.
Honest John: Really?
Cloaked Man: Of course not. That’s his job…
Honest John: Who…?
The Cloaked Man points down an alleyway which smoke begins to billow out, creating a foreboding fog around them. Emerging from the smoke was a muscular white-haired man, with two cigars in his mouth. He was also wearing sunglasses and has a scar that extends from his forehead to his right eye and tapers off to the side of his face. He wears military coat over his large thick white and blue specialist marine jacket which he keeps open, with greenish fur lining the neck, wrists and hem. Many cigars are strapped to the jacket, which bears the kanji for "justice" written on the back of it. He carries a jitte as his weapon. He also wears brown leather gloves, blue jeans with a brown belt and large military issue brown leather boots. This was the Vice Admiral of the Marines, Smoker the White Hunter. Honest John and Gideon both gulped as he approached, a fierce snarl was on his face.
Smoker: This is them?
Cloaked Man: Yep, they’re the ones I was telling you about.
Smoker walks right up the two, grabs them by their necks and pulls them up to his eye level.
Smoker: You two got some nerve! Conning some kid is one thing, but selling children out for money…that’s unforgivable! I got half a mind to skin you both alive and toss your hides into worst prison imaginable. And unless we get a confession out of you and where this Pleasure Island is, that’s just what’s gonna happen!
Honest John and Gideon both when pale and began sweating bullets from Smoker’s threat. They got into trouble before, but never like this.
Cloaked Man: Hang on, Vice Admiral, as tempting as that is,I got a better idea…
Moments later, Honest John screaming for his life as he was being hung over a canal bridge by his tail, with Smoker holding on to it. Gideon was busy being pinned the Cloaked Man by his neck.
Honest John: AAAAHHH!!!! Please, don’t drop me!
Cloaked Man: Look at it this way, Foulfellow; at least you can finally clean up your act!
Honest John: I don’t know how to swim!
Smoker: Well, it’s not too late to start learning.
Honest John: Please, I’ll tell you anything! Just let me go!
Cloaked Man: You sure you wanna rephrase that?
Honest John: *looks down to the canal* EEHH!!! Wait! Don’t let me go! Don’t let me go!
Cloaked Man: Tell us what we want to know and we’ll hoist you back up!
Honest John: I-I can’t! He’ll harm me if I do.
Smoker: And you’ll drown if you don’t!
Honest John: Alright! Alright! It was the Coachman! He paid us to collect stupid little boys and he takes them to Pleasure Island!
Smoker: That’s all? It doesn’t make sense!
Cloaked Man: Pleasure Island is an illegal operation; the law prohibits ships from even going near that island.
Smoker: *to Honest John* So what happens to the kids when they come back?
Honest John: But that’s just it! He said they never come back as boys at all!
Smoker: What?!
Smoker lets go, causing Honest John to plummet, only to suddenly stop with his nose just inches from the water. Just then, he gets pulled all the way up until he realizes that he’s flying. But he soon notices that he’s caught in a cloud-like substance, and that substance was Smoker’s Smoke-Smoke Fruit as his arm was holding Honest John up in the air. Smoker then reels Honest John back until his nose was pressed into Smoker’s face.
Smoker: What you mean by that?!
Honest John: T-that’s what he told me…and that’s all I know! I swear!
Smoker: So, where’s the island?
Honest John: It’s 10 miles off the coast, north by northeast, you can’t miss it! Now please let me go!
Smoker’s arm reverts to normal and drops Honest John to the ground. The already spooked fox crawls towards the Cloaked Man, hiding behind his robes.
Cloaked Man: Well…you got your info, so now what will you do?
Smoker: What should’ve been done in the first place. Captain Tashigi!
Just then, a woman appears on command from a corner. She had dark brown eyes and wears her black hair between chin- and shoulder-length pinning back by a clip. She was seen wearing a floral button-down shirt, rectangular glasses with red frames, blue capris, dark pink gloves with a white trim, dark pink boots and a pink version of the standard Marine officers' coat. This is Smoker’s second-in-command; Captain Tashigi.
Tashigi: Sir?
Smoker: Order the men to get the ships ready to launch. We’re make for Pleasure Island tonight!
Tashigi: Sir, but the crew is still recovering from what we just experienced. We still don’t know how we got here let alone why…
Smoker: Does it matter!?
Tashigi: Ehh?
Smoker: Personally, I don’t know what the hell’s going on. One minute we were navigating through some weird fog in the open sea, the next thing we end up in this strange country. But I do know is this; if this Pleasure Island is allowed to operate while the authorities here do nothing to stop it, then I say its high time someone did. And that someone…is gonna be me! Tell the men we set sail now!
Tashigi: Yes sir!
Cloak Man: Nice little speech, all things considered, but what about these two? *points to Honest John and Gideon*
Smoker: Bring them along! Can’t have them skipping town, we’re not finished deciding their punishment.
Cloaked Man: Gladly!
The Cloaked Man grabs Honest John and Gideon by the scruff of their necks and drags them away with Smoker and Tashigi. But little did they know, that someone was observing the conservation in the shadows and then rushes off…to where we don’t know…
Meanwhile, back on Pleasure Island, the once lively amusement park was now in a state of ruin and disrepair. Most likely this caused by the boys’ constant rough-housing and disregard of common safety. As for the boys, there was not a soul to be seen or heard, save for Luffy, Usopp, Nami, Robin and Jiminy Cricket, who were still looking for Pinocchio.
Jiminy Cricket: Pinocchio! Pinocchio? *whistle*
Luffy: Hey Pinocchio! Come on out!
Nami: Man, look at this place. It’s a total dump!
Usopp: Yeah. I can’t believe those boys caused all this damage in such a brief time. And the night’s not even over.
Robin: Speaking of the boys, has anyone noticed that it’s gotten quiet lately?
Luffy: Your right. This place feels like a graveyard. I wonder where they all went?
Usopp: Well, I don’t like the looks of this. Let’s find him and get out of here.
Jiminy Cricket: Pinocchio! Hey, where are you?
As they continued the search for Pinocchio, he and Lampwick were busy playing in poolhall shaped like an 8-ball. Lampwick was having his turn, knocking the pool balls in with trick shots. Pinocchio was busy with a cigar while he was waiting his turn.
Pinocchio: Where do you suppose all the kids went to, Lampwick?
Lampwick: They’re around here, somewhere's. What do you care? You’re havin’ a good time, ain’t ya?
Pinocchio: Uh-huh, I sure am.
Lampwick: Oh boy! This is life, huh, Pinoky?
Pinocchio: Yeah! It sure is! *he puffs on his cigar*
Lampwick: Ah, you smoke like me grandmother! Come on, take a big drag, like this! *inhales deeply on his cigar*
Pinocchio: Okay Lampy!
He takes a really huge drag on his cigar, turning red in the face as he did. But then Pinocchio hics, forcing him to shallow the smoke and starts to turn purple. His eyes waters, his face turns a sickly pale green and he exhales a weak puff of smoke.
Lampwick: Hey, some fun, huh, kid? (Pinocchio nods nauseously) Okay, slats, your shot.
Pinocchio climbs onto the pool table and tries to aim at the 8-ball, the cigar still in his mouth. Because of being sick, everything looks warbly from his view, in fact he almost thought the 8-ball winked at him.
Lampwick: What’s the matter slats? Losing your grip?
Pinocchio tries again and just as he was about make his shot, the others arrive to see Pinocchio on the pool table, and what happened then…
Nami/Jiminy Cricket: PINOCCHIO!!!
The sudden shock of the yell causes Pinocchio to miss, falling face first and ripping the pool table lining.
Nami: So this is where we find ya! You had us worried sick you little blockhead!
Jiminy Cricket: How do you ever expect to be a real boy acting like this?! Look at yourself… smoking, playing pool! (kicks the 8-ball angrily) Oww! You’re comin’ right home with us, this minute!
Lampwick: Hey… who’s the beetle? *picks up Jiminy by his jacket*
Jiminy Cricket: Let go! Put me down! *muffled by his jacket* Uh, let me out!
Pinocchio: He’s my conscience! He tells me what’s right and wrong.
Lampwick: What? You mean to tell me you take orders from a grasshopper?
Jiminy Cricket: Grasshopper? Look here, you impudent young pup! It wouldn’t hurt you to take orders from your grasshop--- your conscience, if you have one. *stands on the 8-ball*
Lampwick: Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Screwball in the corner pocket.
Lampwick hits a 9-ball at 8-ball sending Jiminy and the 8-ball into a pocket. Jiminy tumbles into the collection chamber, only to narrowly miss the 8-ball that was coming in. Lampwick was laughing at Jiminy, inciting some ire from the others.
Nami: Hey! What the big idea knocking Jiminy into the corner pocket?
Lampwick: *sees Nami and looks her over* Hey, who’s the broad?
Nami: Excuse me?!
Lampwick: How about you and I play a real game of pool, huh?
Nami: How about I whomp you upside the head instead!
Lampwick: A girl beating me up?! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Nami loses her temper and was about to throttle Lampwick, until Luffy and Usopp desperately tried to hold her back. Jiminy himself has lost his own temper after climbing back up the pool table.
Jiminy Cricket: Why, why--- ya young hoodlum! I’ll knock your block off! (takes his jacket off and prepares to do battle) I’ll take you apart and put ya back together---
Pinocchio: Oh don’t hurt him, Jiminy. He’s my best friend.
Jiminy Cricket: Why, I’ll---
Jiminy Cricket/Nami: Your best friend?
Jiminy Cricket: And what am I? Just your conscience!
Nami: Okay. That settles it!
Pinocchio: But Jiminy? Nami?
Jiminy Cricket: *squishes his hat and wears his jacket backward, putting his foot down* You buttered your bread, now sleep in it!
He falls into a pool pocket again, and winds up on the floor; Nami picks him up as Lampwick laughs at him*
Nami: Ha ha ha! Go on, laugh. Make a jackass outta yourself. We’re through! This is the end!
Pinocchio: But Nami? Lampwick says a guy only lives once.
Jiminy Cricket: *with his grumpy look* Lampwick…. Hmph!
Lampwick: Come on, come on. Let ‘em go.
Lampwick gets some beer as Robin leaves after Nami and Jiminy, who were still fuming over what Pinocchio had said.
Jiminy Cricket: Lampwick…. Hmph! Lampwick! It’s burns me up. After all I tried to do for him. Who’s his conscience anyway? Me or that hoodlum, Lampwick?
Robin: Don’t you think you two are overacting this a bit.
Nami: ‘A bit’?! That blockhead would rather listen to some punk kid he just met over us!
Robin: But…
Nami: But nothing! If he wants to hang around with some hoodlum then he can stay a puppet for all I care! I, on the other hand, am taking the first boat off this rock.
Robin: What about Luffy and Usopp?
Nami: They can get their own ride, I’m too mad to care!
The trio finally reaches the front gates, Nami bangs on the door angrily for someone to open the door.
Nami: Open up that door! Open up! I wanna go home!
Just as Nami was about to knock on the door again, the sound of braying coming from the other side.
Nami/Robin/Jiminy Cricket: Huh?
Nami and Robin managed to pull open the heavy door open, just enough for them to squeeze through. What they saw on the other side was a puzzler if not a depressing one. Dozens upon dozens of donkeys packed to the brim in wooden crates, braying and crying something fierce. The crates were being loaded onto the same ship that brought our friends to the island by the Coachman’s henchmen as he was giving out orders. The trio hid behind a nearby rock as to not be discovered.
Coachman: Come on, you blokes, keep ‘em moving! Lively there now. We haven’t got all night.
Robin: Now this is interesting.
Nami: What the heck are those things?
Jiminy Cricket: And where’d all the donkeys come from?
Coachman: Come on, come on. Let’s have another. *one of his goons brings out a frightened donkey out toward him* And what's your name?
Donkey 1: Haw-hee!
Coachman: Okay, you’ll do! *rips the clothes of the donkey and boots him into a crate with five other donkeys* In you go! You boys’ll bring a nice price for Her Radiance! *cackles evilly* All right. Next! *another donkey is brought before him* And what might your name be?
Alexander: Alexander.
Coachman: Hmmm, so you can talk!
Alexander: Ye-Yes sir. I wanna go home to my mama!
Coachman: Take him back! He can still talk! *throws Alexander into a pen with six other donkeys*
Alexander: Please, please. I don't wanna be a donkey. Let me out of here!
Donkeys: *all protest in unison*
Coachman: *yelling* Quiet! *cracks whip* You boys have had your fun. Now, pay for it!
Robin/Nami/Jiminy Cricket: Boys?
Nami: You mean those donkeys were the boys from earlier?
Robin: So that’s why the island was so deserted, was because they were all turned into donkeys.
Nami: But that means…Luffy!
Robin: Usopp!
Jiminy Cricket: Pinocchio!
The three rushes back through the door to warn the others, but at that moment in the pool hall…
Lampwick: Huh! To hear that beetle talk…*takes a swig of beer* you’d think somethin’ was gonna happen to us.
Suddenly a pair of ears emerge of Lampwick, although he does not notice it, but Pinocchio, Ussop and Luffy do. Pinocchio, thinking the beer had something to do with it, pushes it away from him.
Usopp: You shouldn’t bad mouth Jiminy! He was only doing his job as a conscience.
Lampwick: Conscience. Nah, phooey!
Then a tail pops out of his pants, prompting Pinocchio to throw away his cigar.
Lampwick: Where’s he get that stuff? ‘How do you ever expect to be a real boy?’ What’s he think I look like? *Now his head turns into a donkey one* A jackass?
Luffy: You sure do now!
Luffy and Pinocchio couldn’t help but laugh at Lampwick’s new face, that is until Pinocchio hee-haws and covers his mouth.
Lampwick: Hey, you laugh like a donkey. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-Hee-haw! Did that come outta me?
Usopp: You bet it did. *points to his face*
Lampwick checks his mouth, he feels a muzzle. Then he checks his face, which has fur on. Then he checks his ears, which he sees are now really long.
Lampwick: What the---? What’s going on?
Lampwick goes over to a nearby mirror and he got his answer; he really does look like a jackass. The very sight of it freaks Lampwick out as he begins to panic.
Lampwick: Yaaaaghhh! I’ve been double-crossed! Help! Help! Somebody, help! I’ve been framed! Help! Please, you gotta help me. Oh, be a pal. Call that beetle. Call those broads! Call anybody!
Sadly, either Pinocchio, Usopp or Luffy could think of or do anything to help as Lampwick begged. But they gasped in horror as Lampwick’s hands suddenly turn into hooves.
Lampwick: Mama?! Maaaaaamaaaaaaaa!
Lampwick’s cries for help faded away to a grunt as he slowly fell on all fours to the ground. And with that the transformation was complete, Lampwick had made a jackass out of himself. The other three could only watch as the former Lampwick started kicking and braying like crazy, trashing the pool hall like a wild animal.
Usopp: Welp, who didn’t see that coming?
Luffy: How can this get any worse?
Just then Pinocchio gains donkey ear and Usopp immediately notices.
Usopp: *points to Pinocchio* Like that!!!
Pinocchio: *sees his ears* Oh! What’s happened?
Back outside, Nami, Robin and Jiminy Cricket were running back to the pool hall as fast as they could.
Jiminy Cricket: I hope we’re not too late.
Pinocchio: What’ll I do?! *He has a tail too, grabs it, and gasps*
Usopp: EEEHHH!!!!!
By that time, the others arrive at the pool hall just in time.
Jiminy Cricket: Pinocchio!
Pinocchio: Jiminy! Oh, guys help!
Jiminy Cricket: Pinoke, the kids, the boys, they’re all donkeys!
Nami: *to Pinocchio* Ah, you too!
Usopp: What do you mean ‘they’re all donkeys’?
Robin: We don’t know how, but all boys from earlier got turned into donkeys!
Luffy: How’d that happen?
Jiminy Cricket: No time, quick! Before he gets any worse…
Before anyone could even move, they hear a loud explosion from outside, rocking the pool hall.
Usopp: What was that?!
Just then the sound of two more explosions could be heard, the second one sounded very close.
Nami: Never mind that, what was that?
The group runs outside the pool hall only to see to source of the explosions, a number if cannonballs falling from the sky and blasting the amusement park into rubble. Already most of the attractions have been blown apart.
Jiminy Cricket: What’s all this?!
Usopp: Either somebody’s messing with the fireworks, or Pleasure Island’s getting bombed!
Nami: Yeah but by who?
Little did they know that the answer that question was coming from just outside the island. Several large ships anchored near the island have been firing cannonballs over into the island via artillery. Smoker, Tashigi and the Cloaked Man were watching as Smoker was overseeing the bombardment.
Cloaked Man: You think we spooked them enough? Any more and there won’t be anyone else left on it.
Tashigi: How are we supposed to get in? the whole island is covered in mountain range.
Cloaked Man: There should be a cavern over on the left side of the island, it’s the only way in or out of the island.
Smoker: hmm…all ships finish up your rounds and cease fire. Tashigi, ready the landing party, time to pay them a visit.
Tashigi: Yes, sir!
As the ships finished off their bombardment, our friends on the island were still busy evading the explosions for their dear lives. One of the explosions got too close and sent Usopp flying into pile of rubbish. As Usopp emerges cover in junk, Luffy couldn’t help but laugh at the sight.
Nami: Seriously, Luffy?
Luffy: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-Hee-haw! *covers his mouth and a pair of donkey ears replace his own* AHHH!
Nami: See! Serves ya right.
Jiminy Cricket: Now’s not the time, we gotta get out of here.
Usopp: But how? The only way out is blocked.
Jimmy Cricket: Then we just make a swim for it.
Nami: Are you nuts?! Some of us can’t swim.
Robin: Then we’ll find a boat.
Nami: How are we gonna find a boat to floats us off the island in this mess?
Suddenly, an explosion strikes the ferris wheel, blowing off one of the gondolas and sending it crashing just inches in front of them.
Robin: How convenient.
Quick, let’s take it to the mountains, it’s the only way out!
The group picks up the gondola and head up to the mountains, and hopefully a way out. Meanwhile, the bombardment to not go noticed with the Coachman as the explosions rocked the cavern, causing rock to fall from the ceiling.
Coachman: What the blooming ‘ell is that?!
The Coachman got his answer as a large ship loaded with marine soldiers enters the cave, blocking the only way out. The soldiers were armed and ready for a rumble as they prepared to come shore.
Coachman: Where did they come from?!?! *to his henchmen* What are ya blokes waiting for?! Get ’em!
The Henchmen stopped what they were doing and rushed to the docks as the soldiers charged off the ship. Pretty soon the whole dock was crowded with the biggest brawl ya ever seen. While the henchmen were bigger and had more strength, they were outmatched in numbers. It wasn’t long till the henchmen got overwhelmed and the soldiers were winning. By this time, Smoker, Tashigi and the Cloaked Man arrived on the scene to see the fight going their way.
Smoker: Seize everyone in here! If they resist, then knock them out!
Soldiers: Yes sir!!
One of the henchman manages to get past the soldiers and charges directly at Smoker, but he turns into a puff of smoke, evades the Henchman, reforms and then knocks it out with his jitte.
Smoker: Humph…they aren’t even trying.
The Coachman was not too happy with how the fight is going and how his henchmen were losing badly.
Coachman: Ya blooming dolts!! Put backs into it and drive ‘em out!
The Coachman readies his whip to ‘motivate’ his men, only to have shot right out of his hand. The shooter was the Cloaked Man, who was jump over the brawl on the docks and heading straight at him. The Coachman heads for the door in a panic, with the Cloaked Man not far behind him.
Cloaked Man: *to Smoker* You take care of the boys! The Coach Man’s mine!
Smoker: Don’t give me orders!
Sadly, the Cloaked Man was already long gone. Outside, the Coachman could only see his island attractions reduced to smoldering ruins and fire spreading all over. His park had worse damage before, but nothing of this magnitude. It wasn’t long until the Cloaked Man finally caught up with him.
Coachman: Well now…so you’re the bloke that brought ‘em ere…they said you’d be a pain in the arse, but I’d never thought you pull something like this.
Cloaked Man: The raid was their idea, all I did was lead them here. Either way, you’re finished.
Coachman: Fat chance of that! This ain’t the first time I had a bit of bad luck, but I’ll always spring back into business.
Cloaked Man: …not this time.
The Cloaked Man pulls out his gun, ready to fire, until an explosion knocks over some rubble separating the two. By the time the dust cleared, the Coachman had already vanished. As the Cloaked Man cursed under his breath and tried to find him, the Coachman reached the promontory on the other side of the island.
Coachman: Ha! Let ‘em try and find me, I know this island better than anyone else. I’ll be off and back on me feet in no—
Just then the Coachman bumped into something, causing him to fall to the ground.
Coachman: Watch where ya going ya bloomin’—
The Coachman stops as he looks to see what he bumped into, the what turns out to be a who and the who was actually three whos. The first was a tall figure clad in oni-themed armor resembling more of a fox than an actual oni. His armor showed signs of many battles as it had cuts, dents and cracks all over. But surprisingly enough, the figure didn’t seem to care about them. The second figure was a man clad in armor like the Oni-themed firgure, but his armor was styled like a medieval knight and had a somber motif to it. The third was the most human compared to his partners, apart from his long fingernails and sharp teeth; he wears a white half masque, hiding his eyes which appear as black slots, a white and violet bodysuit with a small dark violet cape. His hair is styled into the appearance of a traditional jester’s hat, and is multicolored blue, red, yellow and violet.
Coachman: Oh, it’s you lot. Where the bloody ‘ell were ya?! Them blokes is tearing me business apart like bulls in a china shop and you three ain’t doing nothing about it.
‘The Oni’: Actually…that’s what we’re are here for, Coachman.
‘The Jester’: Oui, we regret to inform you that Her Radiance has decided to terminate our mutual agreement in trade and commerce.
Coachman: Eeh?
‘The Oni’: It means we’re cutting you out.
Coachman: Now wait just a bloomin’ minute! You can’t cut me out! We had a good setup, your boss and me. I collect all them brats, bring them here to be turned to donkeys, then sell them to ya for all that gold. And ya helped me in keeping this place open, heck ya even gave me that potion to turn them all into jackasses in a single night than having to wait five months for the curse to take effect. I gave you lots of business and never once asked questions.
‘The Jester’: We know, but sadly the workforce you’ve been providing us can no longer meet the requirements needed for our more recent projects…
‘The Oni’: …so it was more efficient to cut our losses rather than spend more for so little.
‘The Knight’: The bitterness of a severed contract! Oh, how it stings!
Coachman: Then what’s gonna happen ta me?! If you think ya gonna leave me to be plucked by the law, then ya’ll blimey!
‘The Oni’: We took that to consideration…and she decided that it would be best to leave no witnesses to tell of our operation.
Coachman: Wait just a tick! You ain’t planning on bumping me off, are ya?!
‘The Oni’: If by’ bumping you off’, you mean killing you…then sadly no.
‘The Knight’: Her Radiance wanted a more…subtle approach in settling this matter. I believe the correct term is poetic irony.
The Oni reached behind and pulled out a small bottle from his back. The bottle contained a sickly dark purple substance
Coachman: What’s that?
‘The Oni’: Oh, nothing much…just a concentrated version of the curse potion you’ve been using. Only this time, the transformation is instantaneous upon ingesting it.
Coachman: If you think I’m taking that, you’re out of your minds!
‘The Oni’: Oh, I’m afraid that’s a problem…you don’t have a choice!
The Oni snaps his fingers and the Jester and the Knight jump the Coachman, pinning him to the ground. The Coachman tried desperately to break free, but the they were too strong for him. The Jester forcefully opens the Coachman’s mouth as the Oni walk right up to him and uncorks the bottle.
‘The Oni’: Nothing personal……just business.
He then dumps the potion directly into the Coachman’s mouth, down to the last drop. The Jester made sure that he shallowed the concoction, causing him to choke in the process. The Jester and the Knight releases the Coachman, still in a coughing fit. Just then his head turns into a donkey’s and a tail emerges seconds later. As he looks in horror as his hands changes into hooves, the three figures departed into the shadows, leaving the Coachman to his fate.
Coachman: G-G-G-Get back here, you bastaaaa-Hee-haaaaaaaaaaw!
And in mere moments, the Coachman’s transformation was complete. And by the time the Cloaked Man finally arrived, he was too late; the Coachman was already a jackass, kicking and screaming something fierce.
Cloaked Man: Well, at least you got exactly want you deserved, in an ironic sense.
Cloaked Man walked away from the scene a bit cheated, but satisfied that the Coachman received a more fitting punishment. Back at the docks, the Coachman’s goons were beaten and rounded up, as the marine soldier began loading every donkey-filled crate onto the ship. Two of the marines were having a tough time loading one donkey, who was flailing like crazy, onboard.
Tashigi: Leave no donkey behind, men! Smoker wants them all onboard before we set sail for the mainland, got it!
Soldiers: Yes ma’am!
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to all, a small gondola was seen floating away from the island as its six passengers rowed all the way back to the mainland.
Sometime later, back on the mainland, we find Honest John and Gideon walking merrily along the empty street as if they owned it. In Honest John’s hand was a large sack of money earned from the Coachman.
Honest John: Well Giddy, today is most certainly our lucky day. This morning we came as paupers but tonight we walk as kings! *pats the bag of money* And they say that crime never pays, hey Giddy?
Gideon said nothing but shook his head in agreement.
Honest John: but you know, I can’t help but almost feel sorry for the wooden boy…
Gideon tilts in head in confusion.
Honest John: …almost! But at least he’ll make some contribution so society…as a beast of burden! Hahaha!
Gideon shakes his head in agreement and then hiccups.
Honest John: Come Giddy, the night awaits us and with it, our fortune!
Just as Honest John was about to go into another rendition of Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee, he bumps into something, causing him to drop his bag of gold to fall into the ground. Luckily for him the bag didn’t burst open, but he was quite annoying at being bumped.
Honest John: Watch where you’re going you—
Honest John looks to see who he bumped into, it was the robed drunk from the Red Lobster Inn earlier tonight. Of course, Honest John did not see him at the inn before and assumed he was just another wayward street bum. His staggering stance suggested that he had a little too much to drink.
Honest John: Ahh, look Giddy, a fellow vagabond!
Cloaked Man: *drunkenly* Sssay, mmister *hic* watch ere you are go-*burp*
Honest John: Seems our friend is bit tipsy tonight, hey Giddy.
Cloaked Man: *sees the bag* H-hey, whatssh in the b-*hic*-the ba-*hic*-ba-*hic*-what’s in there? *points to the bag*
Honest John: *hides the bag behind his back* Oh this! Well…ugh…this is just some…sweets for my dear old granny. She does enjoy treats and wanted me to make a midnight run for her. Right, Giddy.
Gideon nods in agreement while the Cloaked Man ponders with a stupidly drunken expression on his face.
Cloaked Man: …okay!
Honest John: Well I love to stay and chat the night away, but granny is expecting me so, ta-da! *walks away with Gideon*
Cloaked Man: Toodledy-loodledy…*normal voice* J. Worthington Foulfellow.
Honest John: Yes, yes, toodle—
Suddenly, he stops dead in his tracks when he heard that named called out. For you see, J. Worthington Foulfellow was Honest John’s real name, one he hasn’t went by in a long time.
Honest John: J. Worthington Foulfellow?! Why, no one’s called me by that name in years…in fact the only person to ever call me that was—
His eyes widened with the sudden realization of who the man was.
Honest John: YOU!!!
No sooner did he turn around to face the cloaked man, Honest John found himself staring down the barrel of a trumpet-shaped gun pointed directly at him!
Cloaked Man: Long time no see…I’m glad you still remember me after our last ‘encounter’ and I see you’ve been up to your old tricks again.
Honest John: Who me? Well, I was just a…wha-what I mean is…ugh…eh…goodbye!
Cloaked Man: Hold it!
Honest John tries to make a run for it, but the Cloaked Man manages to grab him by his cape. The sudden tug causes him to drop the bag, but this time it bursts open, spilling its gold coins all over the street. Honest John, seeing the coins scatter across the ground, gets down and frantically grabs as many as he could…until the Cloaked Man pinned his hand with his foot.
Cloaked Man: Sweets for your granny, eh? *picks up a coin* Unless these are chocolate coins, I think your ‘granny’ could chip her dentures on these…
Just then, Gideon crept up behind the Cloak Man, ready to bop him with his mallet. But the Cloaked Man senses this, ducks, grabs Gideon by his mallet and flings him into Honest John.
Cloaked Man: Hehehe...you think I’d fall for that bit, especially after the last time. Now then…about this money…
Honest John: N-n-n-n-n-now listen! If you think that i—
Cloaked Man: Save it! I already know about your deal with the Coachman. And don’t ask me how I know, because I heard everything back at the Red Lobster Inn. All I want from you is where’s Pleasure Island?
Honest John: Pleasure Island?! Why would I know where that horrid place is? Ugh…ask Giddy, he’d know.
Gideon shakes his head yes but then shakes no, after realizing what he was agreeing on.
Cloaked Man: I’d sooner ask a blind man to lead me to King Midas’ Gold. But if you’re not willing to talk, I got other ways of making you.
Honest John: W-w-wait! You’re not gonna hurt me, are you?! I’m a physical coward and I can’t stand intense pain.
Cloaked Man: Who me? Heavens no, Foulfellow. I wouldn’t dream of doing such harm unto you over something like that.
Honest John: Really?
Cloaked Man: Of course not. That’s his job…
Honest John: Who…?
The Cloaked Man points down an alleyway which smoke begins to billow out, creating a foreboding fog around them. Emerging from the smoke was a muscular white-haired man, with two cigars in his mouth. He was also wearing sunglasses and has a scar that extends from his forehead to his right eye and tapers off to the side of his face. He wears military coat over his large thick white and blue specialist marine jacket which he keeps open, with greenish fur lining the neck, wrists and hem. Many cigars are strapped to the jacket, which bears the kanji for "justice" written on the back of it. He carries a jitte as his weapon. He also wears brown leather gloves, blue jeans with a brown belt and large military issue brown leather boots. This was the Vice Admiral of the Marines, Smoker the White Hunter. Honest John and Gideon both gulped as he approached, a fierce snarl was on his face.
Smoker: This is them?
Cloaked Man: Yep, they’re the ones I was telling you about.
Smoker walks right up the two, grabs them by their necks and pulls them up to his eye level.
Smoker: You two got some nerve! Conning some kid is one thing, but selling children out for money…that’s unforgivable! I got half a mind to skin you both alive and toss your hides into worst prison imaginable. And unless we get a confession out of you and where this Pleasure Island is, that’s just what’s gonna happen!
Honest John and Gideon both when pale and began sweating bullets from Smoker’s threat. They got into trouble before, but never like this.
Cloaked Man: Hang on, Vice Admiral, as tempting as that is,I got a better idea…
Moments later, Honest John screaming for his life as he was being hung over a canal bridge by his tail, with Smoker holding on to it. Gideon was busy being pinned the Cloaked Man by his neck.
Honest John: AAAAHHH!!!! Please, don’t drop me!
Cloaked Man: Look at it this way, Foulfellow; at least you can finally clean up your act!
Honest John: I don’t know how to swim!
Smoker: Well, it’s not too late to start learning.
Honest John: Please, I’ll tell you anything! Just let me go!
Cloaked Man: You sure you wanna rephrase that?
Honest John: *looks down to the canal* EEHH!!! Wait! Don’t let me go! Don’t let me go!
Cloaked Man: Tell us what we want to know and we’ll hoist you back up!
Honest John: I-I can’t! He’ll harm me if I do.
Smoker: And you’ll drown if you don’t!
Honest John: Alright! Alright! It was the Coachman! He paid us to collect stupid little boys and he takes them to Pleasure Island!
Smoker: That’s all? It doesn’t make sense!
Cloaked Man: Pleasure Island is an illegal operation; the law prohibits ships from even going near that island.
Smoker: *to Honest John* So what happens to the kids when they come back?
Honest John: But that’s just it! He said they never come back as boys at all!
Smoker: What?!
Smoker lets go, causing Honest John to plummet, only to suddenly stop with his nose just inches from the water. Just then, he gets pulled all the way up until he realizes that he’s flying. But he soon notices that he’s caught in a cloud-like substance, and that substance was Smoker’s Smoke-Smoke Fruit as his arm was holding Honest John up in the air. Smoker then reels Honest John back until his nose was pressed into Smoker’s face.
Smoker: What you mean by that?!
Honest John: T-that’s what he told me…and that’s all I know! I swear!
Smoker: So, where’s the island?
Honest John: It’s 10 miles off the coast, north by northeast, you can’t miss it! Now please let me go!
Smoker’s arm reverts to normal and drops Honest John to the ground. The already spooked fox crawls towards the Cloaked Man, hiding behind his robes.
Cloaked Man: Well…you got your info, so now what will you do?
Smoker: What should’ve been done in the first place. Captain Tashigi!
Just then, a woman appears on command from a corner. She had dark brown eyes and wears her black hair between chin- and shoulder-length pinning back by a clip. She was seen wearing a floral button-down shirt, rectangular glasses with red frames, blue capris, dark pink gloves with a white trim, dark pink boots and a pink version of the standard Marine officers' coat. This is Smoker’s second-in-command; Captain Tashigi.
Tashigi: Sir?
Smoker: Order the men to get the ships ready to launch. We’re make for Pleasure Island tonight!
Tashigi: Sir, but the crew is still recovering from what we just experienced. We still don’t know how we got here let alone why…
Smoker: Does it matter!?
Tashigi: Ehh?
Smoker: Personally, I don’t know what the hell’s going on. One minute we were navigating through some weird fog in the open sea, the next thing we end up in this strange country. But I do know is this; if this Pleasure Island is allowed to operate while the authorities here do nothing to stop it, then I say its high time someone did. And that someone…is gonna be me! Tell the men we set sail now!
Tashigi: Yes sir!
Cloak Man: Nice little speech, all things considered, but what about these two? *points to Honest John and Gideon*
Smoker: Bring them along! Can’t have them skipping town, we’re not finished deciding their punishment.
Cloaked Man: Gladly!
The Cloaked Man grabs Honest John and Gideon by the scruff of their necks and drags them away with Smoker and Tashigi. But little did they know, that someone was observing the conservation in the shadows and then rushes off…to where we don’t know…
Meanwhile, back on Pleasure Island, the once lively amusement park was now in a state of ruin and disrepair. Most likely this caused by the boys’ constant rough-housing and disregard of common safety. As for the boys, there was not a soul to be seen or heard, save for Luffy, Usopp, Nami, Robin and Jiminy Cricket, who were still looking for Pinocchio.
Jiminy Cricket: Pinocchio! Pinocchio? *whistle*
Luffy: Hey Pinocchio! Come on out!
Nami: Man, look at this place. It’s a total dump!
Usopp: Yeah. I can’t believe those boys caused all this damage in such a brief time. And the night’s not even over.
Robin: Speaking of the boys, has anyone noticed that it’s gotten quiet lately?
Luffy: Your right. This place feels like a graveyard. I wonder where they all went?
Usopp: Well, I don’t like the looks of this. Let’s find him and get out of here.
Jiminy Cricket: Pinocchio! Hey, where are you?
As they continued the search for Pinocchio, he and Lampwick were busy playing in poolhall shaped like an 8-ball. Lampwick was having his turn, knocking the pool balls in with trick shots. Pinocchio was busy with a cigar while he was waiting his turn.
Pinocchio: Where do you suppose all the kids went to, Lampwick?
Lampwick: They’re around here, somewhere's. What do you care? You’re havin’ a good time, ain’t ya?
Pinocchio: Uh-huh, I sure am.
Lampwick: Oh boy! This is life, huh, Pinoky?
Pinocchio: Yeah! It sure is! *he puffs on his cigar*
Lampwick: Ah, you smoke like me grandmother! Come on, take a big drag, like this! *inhales deeply on his cigar*
Pinocchio: Okay Lampy!
He takes a really huge drag on his cigar, turning red in the face as he did. But then Pinocchio hics, forcing him to shallow the smoke and starts to turn purple. His eyes waters, his face turns a sickly pale green and he exhales a weak puff of smoke.
Lampwick: Hey, some fun, huh, kid? (Pinocchio nods nauseously) Okay, slats, your shot.
Pinocchio climbs onto the pool table and tries to aim at the 8-ball, the cigar still in his mouth. Because of being sick, everything looks warbly from his view, in fact he almost thought the 8-ball winked at him.
Lampwick: What’s the matter slats? Losing your grip?
Pinocchio tries again and just as he was about make his shot, the others arrive to see Pinocchio on the pool table, and what happened then…
Nami/Jiminy Cricket: PINOCCHIO!!!
The sudden shock of the yell causes Pinocchio to miss, falling face first and ripping the pool table lining.
Nami: So this is where we find ya! You had us worried sick you little blockhead!
Jiminy Cricket: How do you ever expect to be a real boy acting like this?! Look at yourself… smoking, playing pool! (kicks the 8-ball angrily) Oww! You’re comin’ right home with us, this minute!
Lampwick: Hey… who’s the beetle? *picks up Jiminy by his jacket*
Jiminy Cricket: Let go! Put me down! *muffled by his jacket* Uh, let me out!
Pinocchio: He’s my conscience! He tells me what’s right and wrong.
Lampwick: What? You mean to tell me you take orders from a grasshopper?
Jiminy Cricket: Grasshopper? Look here, you impudent young pup! It wouldn’t hurt you to take orders from your grasshop--- your conscience, if you have one. *stands on the 8-ball*
Lampwick: Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Screwball in the corner pocket.
Lampwick hits a 9-ball at 8-ball sending Jiminy and the 8-ball into a pocket. Jiminy tumbles into the collection chamber, only to narrowly miss the 8-ball that was coming in. Lampwick was laughing at Jiminy, inciting some ire from the others.
Nami: Hey! What the big idea knocking Jiminy into the corner pocket?
Lampwick: *sees Nami and looks her over* Hey, who’s the broad?
Nami: Excuse me?!
Lampwick: How about you and I play a real game of pool, huh?
Nami: How about I whomp you upside the head instead!
Lampwick: A girl beating me up?! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Nami loses her temper and was about to throttle Lampwick, until Luffy and Usopp desperately tried to hold her back. Jiminy himself has lost his own temper after climbing back up the pool table.
Jiminy Cricket: Why, why--- ya young hoodlum! I’ll knock your block off! (takes his jacket off and prepares to do battle) I’ll take you apart and put ya back together---
Pinocchio: Oh don’t hurt him, Jiminy. He’s my best friend.
Jiminy Cricket: Why, I’ll---
Jiminy Cricket/Nami: Your best friend?
Jiminy Cricket: And what am I? Just your conscience!
Nami: Okay. That settles it!
Pinocchio: But Jiminy? Nami?
Jiminy Cricket: *squishes his hat and wears his jacket backward, putting his foot down* You buttered your bread, now sleep in it!
He falls into a pool pocket again, and winds up on the floor; Nami picks him up as Lampwick laughs at him*
Nami: Ha ha ha! Go on, laugh. Make a jackass outta yourself. We’re through! This is the end!
Pinocchio: But Nami? Lampwick says a guy only lives once.
Jiminy Cricket: *with his grumpy look* Lampwick…. Hmph!
Lampwick: Come on, come on. Let ‘em go.
Lampwick gets some beer as Robin leaves after Nami and Jiminy, who were still fuming over what Pinocchio had said.
Jiminy Cricket: Lampwick…. Hmph! Lampwick! It’s burns me up. After all I tried to do for him. Who’s his conscience anyway? Me or that hoodlum, Lampwick?
Robin: Don’t you think you two are overacting this a bit.
Nami: ‘A bit’?! That blockhead would rather listen to some punk kid he just met over us!
Robin: But…
Nami: But nothing! If he wants to hang around with some hoodlum then he can stay a puppet for all I care! I, on the other hand, am taking the first boat off this rock.
Robin: What about Luffy and Usopp?
Nami: They can get their own ride, I’m too mad to care!
The trio finally reaches the front gates, Nami bangs on the door angrily for someone to open the door.
Nami: Open up that door! Open up! I wanna go home!
Just as Nami was about to knock on the door again, the sound of braying coming from the other side.
Nami/Robin/Jiminy Cricket: Huh?
Nami and Robin managed to pull open the heavy door open, just enough for them to squeeze through. What they saw on the other side was a puzzler if not a depressing one. Dozens upon dozens of donkeys packed to the brim in wooden crates, braying and crying something fierce. The crates were being loaded onto the same ship that brought our friends to the island by the Coachman’s henchmen as he was giving out orders. The trio hid behind a nearby rock as to not be discovered.
Coachman: Come on, you blokes, keep ‘em moving! Lively there now. We haven’t got all night.
Robin: Now this is interesting.
Nami: What the heck are those things?
Jiminy Cricket: And where’d all the donkeys come from?
Coachman: Come on, come on. Let’s have another. *one of his goons brings out a frightened donkey out toward him* And what's your name?
Donkey 1: Haw-hee!
Coachman: Okay, you’ll do! *rips the clothes of the donkey and boots him into a crate with five other donkeys* In you go! You boys’ll bring a nice price for Her Radiance! *cackles evilly* All right. Next! *another donkey is brought before him* And what might your name be?
Alexander: Alexander.
Coachman: Hmmm, so you can talk!
Alexander: Ye-Yes sir. I wanna go home to my mama!
Coachman: Take him back! He can still talk! *throws Alexander into a pen with six other donkeys*
Alexander: Please, please. I don't wanna be a donkey. Let me out of here!
Donkeys: *all protest in unison*
Coachman: *yelling* Quiet! *cracks whip* You boys have had your fun. Now, pay for it!
Robin/Nami/Jiminy Cricket: Boys?
Nami: You mean those donkeys were the boys from earlier?
Robin: So that’s why the island was so deserted, was because they were all turned into donkeys.
Nami: But that means…Luffy!
Robin: Usopp!
Jiminy Cricket: Pinocchio!
The three rushes back through the door to warn the others, but at that moment in the pool hall…
Lampwick: Huh! To hear that beetle talk…*takes a swig of beer* you’d think somethin’ was gonna happen to us.
Suddenly a pair of ears emerge of Lampwick, although he does not notice it, but Pinocchio, Ussop and Luffy do. Pinocchio, thinking the beer had something to do with it, pushes it away from him.
Usopp: You shouldn’t bad mouth Jiminy! He was only doing his job as a conscience.
Lampwick: Conscience. Nah, phooey!
Then a tail pops out of his pants, prompting Pinocchio to throw away his cigar.
Lampwick: Where’s he get that stuff? ‘How do you ever expect to be a real boy?’ What’s he think I look like? *Now his head turns into a donkey one* A jackass?
Luffy: You sure do now!
Luffy and Pinocchio couldn’t help but laugh at Lampwick’s new face, that is until Pinocchio hee-haws and covers his mouth.
Lampwick: Hey, you laugh like a donkey. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-Hee-haw! Did that come outta me?
Usopp: You bet it did. *points to his face*
Lampwick checks his mouth, he feels a muzzle. Then he checks his face, which has fur on. Then he checks his ears, which he sees are now really long.
Lampwick: What the---? What’s going on?
Lampwick goes over to a nearby mirror and he got his answer; he really does look like a jackass. The very sight of it freaks Lampwick out as he begins to panic.
Lampwick: Yaaaaghhh! I’ve been double-crossed! Help! Help! Somebody, help! I’ve been framed! Help! Please, you gotta help me. Oh, be a pal. Call that beetle. Call those broads! Call anybody!
Sadly, either Pinocchio, Usopp or Luffy could think of or do anything to help as Lampwick begged. But they gasped in horror as Lampwick’s hands suddenly turn into hooves.
Lampwick: Mama?! Maaaaaamaaaaaaaa!
Lampwick’s cries for help faded away to a grunt as he slowly fell on all fours to the ground. And with that the transformation was complete, Lampwick had made a jackass out of himself. The other three could only watch as the former Lampwick started kicking and braying like crazy, trashing the pool hall like a wild animal.
Usopp: Welp, who didn’t see that coming?
Luffy: How can this get any worse?
Just then Pinocchio gains donkey ear and Usopp immediately notices.
Usopp: *points to Pinocchio* Like that!!!
Pinocchio: *sees his ears* Oh! What’s happened?
Back outside, Nami, Robin and Jiminy Cricket were running back to the pool hall as fast as they could.
Jiminy Cricket: I hope we’re not too late.
Pinocchio: What’ll I do?! *He has a tail too, grabs it, and gasps*
Usopp: EEEHHH!!!!!
By that time, the others arrive at the pool hall just in time.
Jiminy Cricket: Pinocchio!
Pinocchio: Jiminy! Oh, guys help!
Jiminy Cricket: Pinoke, the kids, the boys, they’re all donkeys!
Nami: *to Pinocchio* Ah, you too!
Usopp: What do you mean ‘they’re all donkeys’?
Robin: We don’t know how, but all boys from earlier got turned into donkeys!
Luffy: How’d that happen?
Jiminy Cricket: No time, quick! Before he gets any worse…
Before anyone could even move, they hear a loud explosion from outside, rocking the pool hall.
Usopp: What was that?!
Just then the sound of two more explosions could be heard, the second one sounded very close.
Nami: Never mind that, what was that?
The group runs outside the pool hall only to see to source of the explosions, a number if cannonballs falling from the sky and blasting the amusement park into rubble. Already most of the attractions have been blown apart.
Jiminy Cricket: What’s all this?!
Usopp: Either somebody’s messing with the fireworks, or Pleasure Island’s getting bombed!
Nami: Yeah but by who?
Little did they know that the answer that question was coming from just outside the island. Several large ships anchored near the island have been firing cannonballs over into the island via artillery. Smoker, Tashigi and the Cloaked Man were watching as Smoker was overseeing the bombardment.
Cloaked Man: You think we spooked them enough? Any more and there won’t be anyone else left on it.
Tashigi: How are we supposed to get in? the whole island is covered in mountain range.
Cloaked Man: There should be a cavern over on the left side of the island, it’s the only way in or out of the island.
Smoker: hmm…all ships finish up your rounds and cease fire. Tashigi, ready the landing party, time to pay them a visit.
Tashigi: Yes, sir!
As the ships finished off their bombardment, our friends on the island were still busy evading the explosions for their dear lives. One of the explosions got too close and sent Usopp flying into pile of rubbish. As Usopp emerges cover in junk, Luffy couldn’t help but laugh at the sight.
Nami: Seriously, Luffy?
Luffy: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-Hee-haw! *covers his mouth and a pair of donkey ears replace his own* AHHH!
Nami: See! Serves ya right.
Jiminy Cricket: Now’s not the time, we gotta get out of here.
Usopp: But how? The only way out is blocked.
Jimmy Cricket: Then we just make a swim for it.
Nami: Are you nuts?! Some of us can’t swim.
Robin: Then we’ll find a boat.
Nami: How are we gonna find a boat to floats us off the island in this mess?
Suddenly, an explosion strikes the ferris wheel, blowing off one of the gondolas and sending it crashing just inches in front of them.
Robin: How convenient.
Quick, let’s take it to the mountains, it’s the only way out!
The group picks up the gondola and head up to the mountains, and hopefully a way out. Meanwhile, the bombardment to not go noticed with the Coachman as the explosions rocked the cavern, causing rock to fall from the ceiling.
Coachman: What the blooming ‘ell is that?!
The Coachman got his answer as a large ship loaded with marine soldiers enters the cave, blocking the only way out. The soldiers were armed and ready for a rumble as they prepared to come shore.
Coachman: Where did they come from?!?! *to his henchmen* What are ya blokes waiting for?! Get ’em!
The Henchmen stopped what they were doing and rushed to the docks as the soldiers charged off the ship. Pretty soon the whole dock was crowded with the biggest brawl ya ever seen. While the henchmen were bigger and had more strength, they were outmatched in numbers. It wasn’t long till the henchmen got overwhelmed and the soldiers were winning. By this time, Smoker, Tashigi and the Cloaked Man arrived on the scene to see the fight going their way.
Smoker: Seize everyone in here! If they resist, then knock them out!
Soldiers: Yes sir!!
One of the henchman manages to get past the soldiers and charges directly at Smoker, but he turns into a puff of smoke, evades the Henchman, reforms and then knocks it out with his jitte.
Smoker: Humph…they aren’t even trying.
The Coachman was not too happy with how the fight is going and how his henchmen were losing badly.
Coachman: Ya blooming dolts!! Put backs into it and drive ‘em out!
The Coachman readies his whip to ‘motivate’ his men, only to have shot right out of his hand. The shooter was the Cloaked Man, who was jump over the brawl on the docks and heading straight at him. The Coachman heads for the door in a panic, with the Cloaked Man not far behind him.
Cloaked Man: *to Smoker* You take care of the boys! The Coach Man’s mine!
Smoker: Don’t give me orders!
Sadly, the Cloaked Man was already long gone. Outside, the Coachman could only see his island attractions reduced to smoldering ruins and fire spreading all over. His park had worse damage before, but nothing of this magnitude. It wasn’t long until the Cloaked Man finally caught up with him.
Coachman: Well now…so you’re the bloke that brought ‘em ere…they said you’d be a pain in the arse, but I’d never thought you pull something like this.
Cloaked Man: The raid was their idea, all I did was lead them here. Either way, you’re finished.
Coachman: Fat chance of that! This ain’t the first time I had a bit of bad luck, but I’ll always spring back into business.
Cloaked Man: …not this time.
The Cloaked Man pulls out his gun, ready to fire, until an explosion knocks over some rubble separating the two. By the time the dust cleared, the Coachman had already vanished. As the Cloaked Man cursed under his breath and tried to find him, the Coachman reached the promontory on the other side of the island.
Coachman: Ha! Let ‘em try and find me, I know this island better than anyone else. I’ll be off and back on me feet in no—
Just then the Coachman bumped into something, causing him to fall to the ground.
Coachman: Watch where ya going ya bloomin’—
The Coachman stops as he looks to see what he bumped into, the what turns out to be a who and the who was actually three whos. The first was a tall figure clad in oni-themed armor resembling more of a fox than an actual oni. His armor showed signs of many battles as it had cuts, dents and cracks all over. But surprisingly enough, the figure didn’t seem to care about them. The second figure was a man clad in armor like the Oni-themed firgure, but his armor was styled like a medieval knight and had a somber motif to it. The third was the most human compared to his partners, apart from his long fingernails and sharp teeth; he wears a white half masque, hiding his eyes which appear as black slots, a white and violet bodysuit with a small dark violet cape. His hair is styled into the appearance of a traditional jester’s hat, and is multicolored blue, red, yellow and violet.
Coachman: Oh, it’s you lot. Where the bloody ‘ell were ya?! Them blokes is tearing me business apart like bulls in a china shop and you three ain’t doing nothing about it.
‘The Oni’: Actually…that’s what we’re are here for, Coachman.
‘The Jester’: Oui, we regret to inform you that Her Radiance has decided to terminate our mutual agreement in trade and commerce.
Coachman: Eeh?
‘The Oni’: It means we’re cutting you out.
Coachman: Now wait just a bloomin’ minute! You can’t cut me out! We had a good setup, your boss and me. I collect all them brats, bring them here to be turned to donkeys, then sell them to ya for all that gold. And ya helped me in keeping this place open, heck ya even gave me that potion to turn them all into jackasses in a single night than having to wait five months for the curse to take effect. I gave you lots of business and never once asked questions.
‘The Jester’: We know, but sadly the workforce you’ve been providing us can no longer meet the requirements needed for our more recent projects…
‘The Oni’: …so it was more efficient to cut our losses rather than spend more for so little.
‘The Knight’: The bitterness of a severed contract! Oh, how it stings!
Coachman: Then what’s gonna happen ta me?! If you think ya gonna leave me to be plucked by the law, then ya’ll blimey!
‘The Oni’: We took that to consideration…and she decided that it would be best to leave no witnesses to tell of our operation.
Coachman: Wait just a tick! You ain’t planning on bumping me off, are ya?!
‘The Oni’: If by’ bumping you off’, you mean killing you…then sadly no.
‘The Knight’: Her Radiance wanted a more…subtle approach in settling this matter. I believe the correct term is poetic irony.
The Oni reached behind and pulled out a small bottle from his back. The bottle contained a sickly dark purple substance
Coachman: What’s that?
‘The Oni’: Oh, nothing much…just a concentrated version of the curse potion you’ve been using. Only this time, the transformation is instantaneous upon ingesting it.
Coachman: If you think I’m taking that, you’re out of your minds!
‘The Oni’: Oh, I’m afraid that’s a problem…you don’t have a choice!
The Oni snaps his fingers and the Jester and the Knight jump the Coachman, pinning him to the ground. The Coachman tried desperately to break free, but the they were too strong for him. The Jester forcefully opens the Coachman’s mouth as the Oni walk right up to him and uncorks the bottle.
‘The Oni’: Nothing personal……just business.
He then dumps the potion directly into the Coachman’s mouth, down to the last drop. The Jester made sure that he shallowed the concoction, causing him to choke in the process. The Jester and the Knight releases the Coachman, still in a coughing fit. Just then his head turns into a donkey’s and a tail emerges seconds later. As he looks in horror as his hands changes into hooves, the three figures departed into the shadows, leaving the Coachman to his fate.
Coachman: G-G-G-Get back here, you bastaaaa-Hee-haaaaaaaaaaw!
And in mere moments, the Coachman’s transformation was complete. And by the time the Cloaked Man finally arrived, he was too late; the Coachman was already a jackass, kicking and screaming something fierce.
Cloaked Man: Well, at least you got exactly want you deserved, in an ironic sense.
Cloaked Man walked away from the scene a bit cheated, but satisfied that the Coachman received a more fitting punishment. Back at the docks, the Coachman’s goons were beaten and rounded up, as the marine soldier began loading every donkey-filled crate onto the ship. Two of the marines were having a tough time loading one donkey, who was flailing like crazy, onboard.
Tashigi: Leave no donkey behind, men! Smoker wants them all onboard before we set sail for the mainland, got it!
Soldiers: Yes ma’am!
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to all, a small gondola was seen floating away from the island as its six passengers rowed all the way back to the mainland.
