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Fanfiction ► One Piece Infinite Adventures



Jul 28, 2004
in my mind
Chapter VIII: An Unlikely Trio. The Reluctant Cat, Tiger.

Back at Chelsea Pier, the tramp steamer boat remained near the dock, still preparing for its voyage across the ocean. At the abandoned museum nearby, the mice were preparing themselves too, only for the plan of attack against the cats at dawn. Gussie announced how the plan would go down to the mice.

Gussie: Once more. There is the boat. The boat whistle blows at 6:00 in the morning, and that is when we must... rewease the secwet weapon!

In Gussie’s demonstration, she had some windup toys resembling cats and their secret weapon. The cat toys were placed near the pier and were chased towards the boat by the secret weapon. The mice and pirates cheered as the weapon chased the cat toys onto the boat, taken on a one-way trip to Hong Kong in Asia.

Gussie: So, the cats must be here at 6:00 on the dot, not a moment before or after.

Robin: Six on the nose. Sounds simple.

Usopp: Yeah but why at six?

Gussie: We already said it; the Star of Hong Kong will leave for China at six. And we want the Mott Street Maulers on it when it does.

Franky: Okay, so how are we gonna bring the cats over here?

Gussie: That should not be much trouble.

She turns to the group of mice who got picked for the job of luring the cats to the pier.

Gussie: Now, when you go to get the cats, what do you do to make them come here?

The assigned mice got on their feet and chanted in a mocking way.

Mice: Nyah nyah nyah-nyah nyah.

Gussie: Right! *to everyone else* Now get some sweep. We have a wong day ahead.

As everyone prepare for bed, the Straw Hats gather and headed for their posts.

Robin: Hard to imagine.

Zoro: Imagine what?

Robin: That we’re helping these mice chase out a bunch of cats with something Franky would only dream of building.

Franky: It’s true.

Nami: It’s too bad Luffy isn’t here, he’d get a kick out of this.

Sanji: Yeah…he would…

Chopper: *starts to cry* Luffy…

Franky: Hey, no crying. Luffy’ll come back. He always does.

Nami: Yeah but from being lost at sea? I mean nobody can come back from that? Not even Luff on his luckiest day.

Usopp: I wouldn’t be too sure.

Nami: What makes you say that?

Usopp: Back at the rally, when whoever-that-guy-was was speaking, I could’ve swore I heard Luffy laughing.

Brook: You sure?

Usopp: It sounded like him.

Sanji: But did you see him?

Usopp: Couldn’t with all those mice in front of us, but I know it was him.

Chopper: So then he is alive?

Robin: Maybe, maybe not?

Usopp: And if he’s alive, then who’s to say that Fievel is—oomph!

Zoro clamps Usopp’s mouth shut as the Mousekewitz family walks by to the weapon. Just as they were out of ear shot, Zoro lets go.

Usopp: What was that for?!

Zoro: I’d suggest you’d keep that to yourself around the Mousekewitzs until we know for certain.

Usopp: Yeah but…

Zoro: Look, even if we did have proof, they’ll never believe us and I know Papa doesn’t want to talk about it.

Usopp: Well…

Robin: I think it’s best we discuss this till after we get rid of the cats, okay?

Nami: Very well. But do you really think Luffy is alive?

Zoro: At this point I’d be surprised if he wasn’t.

With that, the Straw Hats head for the Secret Weapon, getting ready for the big day in the morning ahead.

However, what they didn’t know, was that while Luffy and Fievel were still alive, they were the permanent guests of the Mott Street Maulers’ and their lovely maximum security complex. And by ‘lovely complex’, I meant a large pile of dirty, beat-up birdcages. Inside one of said cages were our two lost boys; Fievel was sobbing while Luffy was trying to break out of the cage. After bashing through the cage multiple times with his fists and kicks, he stopped and panted hard.

Luffy: Man, what’s this thing made out of, seastone?

Well seastone doesn’t exist in this world, so the cage is made of basic metal. And since Luffy is about the size of its supposed occupant, it’d be a lot harder to get out even with his devil fruit powers. Elsewhere, we could hear the mauler on duty, half-awake, talking to himself.

????: No, no, no boss, it was not me. I promise it was not me.

?????: Wake up! Uh, wake up! JAKE! Wake up! Oh, you’re up! Uh, go get some sleep Jake.

Jake: Oh yeah, you’re right. Rest, sleep!

As Luffy was about to go at the birdcage for I think was the tenth time, the large orange tabby Tiger arrives, making noises and acting like he was ready for a fight.

Tiger: I’m your guard…Tiger! Don't make any funny moves. 'Cause I'm crafty, and I'm quick. I have the instinct of a cat. What am I saying, I am a cat.

However, no one was paying attention to him as Fievel was still crying and Luffy was trying to bust of the cage. Tiger goes over to the cage just as Luffy was winding up for another punch.

Tiger: Hey, what are you trying to—

Luffy: Gum Gum Pistol!

Luffy throws a punch at the birdcage, causing his arm to ricochet all over the inside of the cage. This causes the cage to bounce about like a can full of Mexican jumping beans, frightening Tiger as he tries to keep it from falling over. Tiger manages to catch the cage, just as Luffy puts a dent into one of the bars.

Tiger: Woah! Oh, hey, now don't start that. I didn't mean to scare ya that much, really. It's okay, little buddies. Hey, I'm your friend. Aw, come on. Be happy. *chuckles* Aw. Oh, come on. What are you trying to do anyway?

Luffy: What does it look like I’m doing? I’m trying to bust out of this dumb cage so I can go find my crewmates and help my friend find his family.

Tiger: You…lost your family?

Fievel: Mmm-hmm.

Tiger leaned himself next to the cage, allowing it to hang again, all while he started expressing sorrow as well, not just for Fievel, but also for himself.

Tiger: Oh, no. *picks off one of his nails* That's terrible. You know, I lost my family, too.

Luffy: You did?

Tiger: That’s right. *holds his tail* Years ago, I mean…*sobbing* eight brothers…ten sisters…three fathers…

Tiger buried his face in his tail as he sobbed, missing his family just as much as Fievel missed his. Luffy, while feeling somewhat sorry for the big ol’ tabby, was wracking his brain on how one cat would have that many siblings from three separate fathers.

Fievel: Don't cry. You'll find them.

Tiger: *sniffled* Do you really think so?

Tiger finally calms down, picks off another one of his cat nails and spits it out, landing on the cage.

Tiger: Gee, you're nice. Um, my name is Tiger. What's yours?

Fievel, Fievel Mousekewitz.

Luffy: And I’m Monkey D. Luffy.

Tiger: Monkey D. Luffy?

Luffy: Just call me Luffy.

Tiger: oh… Listen, I gotta level with you guys… I like mice.

This suddenly caused Fievel to turn around and burst into tears again, thinking Tiger liked mice as food.

Tiger: Oh no, not like that. I mean, I don't eat red meat at all. (chuckles) I'm a vegetarian.

Luffy: A vegetarian?

Tiger: That's right. Oh, a little fish now and then. But what I really like is some nice... Shh... Broccoli.

Luffy: A broccoli eating cat? That seems weird.

Fievel: You know, I thought all cats were supposed to be mean.

Tiger: Mean? Ha, I am mean! *growls*

Tiger starts up acting all tough and all this frisky activity caused the birdcage that Luffy and Fievel were in to break free and roll on the ground.

Tiger: Argh! Then…and…ah, what’s the use?

As the cage stopped, they looked up and saw Tiger sitting on a ledge, his back facing them and his tail slowly tapping from side to side. But as it seemed though that he was going to remain stern and guard the duo, but Luffy could sense something was wrong.

Luffy: You don’t seem to be like the other cats do you? Almost every cat we came across wanted to eat us.

Tiger: Well…to tell you the truth, I really don’t like hurting mice. I get it’s a whole predator/prey thing, but there is a thing as a limit.

Luffy: Then why not quit?

Tiger: I would if I wanted to, but the Maulers were pretty much the only family I have…if you even call them family.

Fievel: How come?

Tiger: To be honest, I hate how the Maulers have been treating the mice. I mean it’s enough that we force them to pay for protection, but then we go out and attack them anyway? I mean it doesn’t make any sense. And ever since Warren got those monsters from that weird guild, nothing makes sense anymore.

Luffy/Fievel: Monsters?

Tiger: Yeah. Those things that chased you guys earlier. But I really don’t like how they act. They’re more vicious than we are.

Luffy: So what do you like?

Tiger: I like butterflies with big golden wings and blue and green tips.

Fievel: Me too!

Tiger: Ha. I like Swiss cheese ice cream.

Fievel: Me, too! Me, too!

Tiger: You too, too?

Luffy: Never heard of Swiss cheese ice cream, but I like ice cream too.

Tiger: Hmm. Wait a minute. What's your favorite book?

Luffy: Well I don’t have a favorite, but the one I really like reading is…

Fievel/Luffy: The Brothers Karamazov.

Tiger: The Brothers...

Tiger starts to chuckle with joy, seeing how the three have so many common interests.

Tiger: I can’t…I can’t believe it! I can’t believe it!

Tiger: I can tell, we got an awful lot in common
Even though we look as different as can be

He took the birdcage and removes some locks, allowing him to take the bars off so he can look at Fievel and Luffy eye to eye.

Tiger: We don’t even have to try to see things eye to eye
It just comes to us naturally

Now what happens next, looked like something from a fantasy. The cobwebs lift upwards as if being pulled up like curtains on a stage.

Tiger: Come to think of it, I think we fit together
Playing cat and mouse won’t get us very far
There’s no need to feud or fuss when it isn’t really us
Let’s you and me be who we are

Tiger: We’re a trio! A trio,
Three single lonely ones,
who were meant to be a three-o
A trio! It’s so real-o
Cause wherever we go
We’re going me and you

Now next to a mirror, Tiger wiped against it, allowing Fievel and Luffy to see their reflection.

Luffy/Fievel: Yeah!

Tiger: Oh, no matter what, now we’ve got one another
We’ll be there to pick each other off the floor
Any time you’re feeling glum, count on me to be a chum

Fievel: If you get an itch attack,

Luffy: We’ll be there to scratch your back

Tiger: Now who could ever ask for mo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ore? Mo-o-o-o-o-o…

Tiger’s singing suddenly stopped when Fievel and Luffy started scratching his back. This caused him to start laughing wildly.

Tiger: Oh, stop! Oh, stop! No! Don't! Don't stop! More. More!

We’re friends and that’s what friends are for!

Fievel/Luffy/Tiger: We’re a trio!
A trio,
Three single lonely ones,
who were meant to be a three-o
A trio! It’s so real-o
If we’re ever in a stew,
we know we can make it through

Well, that was the beginning of a very odd trio of friends; a young mouse, a vegetarian cat and a rubbery pirate captain. And this was definitely a friendship that transcends all boundaries. But as wholesome as this moment was, sadly we have to end this short because…


The happy moment shattered along with the mirror as an alarm went off. This caught everyone off guard and Digit, having been awoken by the sudden alarm, saw what happened and started freaking out while tiny bits of electricity sparked on his antennae.

Tiger: Where’d that come from?

Digit tries to stop Fievel by grabbing him, only for Luffy to slug him away with a punch.

Tiger: Don't. Oh, stop it! Uh! Oh!

Luffy grabs Fievel and makes a beeline for the exit, just as Warren and the other cats arrived.

Luffy: Thanks a lot, Tiger! See ya next time!


Tiger: They overpowered me.

Warren T.: You’re out of gang for this!

Tiger: Good! I’m glad! I never liked you, and besides, your music stinks!

Reaching above ground once again, and this time avoiding being pulled back in by the cats, Luffy and Fievel raced back fast as they could to the pier. They could suddenly hear a cacophony of cats and monsters far behind them. But that didn’t matter as they rushed to pier, and to the Secret Weapon.


Jul 28, 2004
in my mind
Chapter IX: A Fiery Showdown! Release The Secret Weapon!

Back at Chelsea Pier, the mice and the other Straw Hats slept quietly as the clock slowly got closer to 6:00. But as they slept, they were unaware that their plan was about to be jeopardized before it even started. Having escaped the underground lair thanks to Tiger’s help, Luffy and Fievel ran for their lives, dodging the vicious cats and monsters as they relentlessly pursued the duo.


Luffy: HELP! CATS!



Gussie is woken by the shouting and looks out the window to hear their cries for help.

Gussie: It’s the cats!

She then looks over at the alarm clock…it was ten minutes to six!

Fievel: HELP!

Gussie: Oh, they're early! WAKE UP! EVERYBODY, WAKE UP!!

Back outside, Luffy and Fievel were now just yards away from the building, but the cats were still hot on their tails. Swiftly taking a right turn, dodging one of the cats’ attacks, they now had a straight pathway to the building. From an overhead platform, Gussie rushed to the top and saw the two getting chased.

Fievel: HELP!

Thinking fast, Luffy grabs Fievel and dives into a nearby hole, narrowly dodging their pursuers’ sharp claws.


The cats try to claw their way into the building as Fievel and Luffy sound the alarm.


Fievel: WAKE UP! CATS!

The duo’s frantic shouts and cries awoke most of the mice, and the word of cats being outside caused one of the fanfare mice to play a fanfare. One of the officers was surprised upon hearing this.

Mouse Officer: The cats! *rushes to everyone inside the weapon* RELEASE THE SECRET WEAPON!

The officer’s shout, along with the kazoo playing, wakes up Honest John and the Cloaked Man as they try to figure out what was going on.

Cloaked Man: Who…wait, what did they…

Honest John: What? Release the…

Cloaked Man/Honest John: *realizing* OH NO!

Inside the weapon’s cockpit, Franky and Usopp were already throwing switches and levers, priming the weapon for launch.

Usopp: Why the hell are those cats attacking early? I thought we were gonna bring them here?

Franky: Doesn’t matter now! Now we get to show those cats just how SUPER our secret weapon is!

Nearby, one mouse removes one of the rope restraints, allowing the weapon to slowly move forward a bit, but Honest John and the Cloaked Man quickly got themselves in front of one of the weapon’s legs and tried getting it to stop.

Honest John: Oh no, oh no, oh no, no, no!

Cloaked Man: Wait! Stop, stop, stop, time out!

Honest John: Wait for the boat whistle!

Outside, one cat roared at Gussie, trying to get in, but Gussie whacked him off with a riding crop. Another cat tried climbing his way up, but Luffy slugged him with a punch, knocking him back down into two monsters climbing up. The other mice including Tony, stood alongside the two, throwing stuff down at their enemies, but Gussie orders them to stand down…for now.

Gussie: Hold your fire. It's that rat, Warren T.

By now, Fievel and Luffy had reached the platform and saw Warren T. alongside the cats, once again wearing his rat disguise.

Fievel: He's not a rat. He's a cat. He's their boss.

Warren T.: Pay no attention to that little mouse. Just throw down all your money and those two brats. And I will personally convince these cats and their friends to leave ya alone.

Back inside, Honest John and the Cloaked Man were still struggling to keep the weapon from breaking out of the building early.


A few of the mice struggled to keep the weapon from going too by holding it back with some rope. and as they did, the Cloaked Man climbed up to the head to try and alert Franky.


Franky: Shut it down?


Usopp: Now they tell us!

By now, the clock reached 5:54, and outside, Warren T., relentlessly demanded Fievel and Luffy.

Warren T.: I’m not gonna ask you again; Just throw down THEM KIDS!


Warren T.: AND YOU HAVE PROOF THAT I’M LYIN?! You ain’t got nothin’ kid!

Luffy: Oh yeah?

Winding up for a punch, Luffy stretches his arm at Warren T., grabs his snout and yanks his fake rat nose clean off exposing his real one.

Luffy: There’s your proof!

The mice all gasped in shock as Warren T. now looked like somebody punched his nose in.

Warren T.: Disregard the nose. What's in a nose? A nose by any other name would smell as sweet...

As Warren T. kept quoting poetry poorly, in a vain attempt to distract everyone from his nose, Luffy notices a small marble the size of a regular bowling ball next to him. Quickly taking action, he grabs the marble and chucks it right the con artist, slamming it right into the back of his head. The impact knocks both his hat and fake ears off, exposing his real ears for all to see.

The mice gasped upon seeing that the fellow they thought was a rat was now revealed to be a feline all this time.

Mouse #1: Great whiskers, he’s a cat!

Mouse #2: He's a cat!

Warren T.: Hey, hey, hey, hey, wait a minute. Who are you goin' to believe, me or your own eyes?


The next thing Warren T. knew the mice were throwing down all sorts of junk at the conniving cat. Inside the building, Honest John and the other mice struggled to keep the weapon from moving forward.

Honest John: Release…the secret…no, no!

While inside the weapon, Franky and Usopp were pulling and pushing every lever they could find to slow the weapon down.

Usopp: Come on Franky, shut it down already!

Franky: I’m trying! I don’t remember which lever shuts it down!


Franky: Hey! I was only following the designs; I didn’t have time to memorize which lever does what.

Usopp: Well, keeping doing…whatever it is we’re doing till we find the right one.

While all this was happening, the clock reached 5:55, and outside, Warren T. was still getting bombarded by junk from the mice.

Warren T.: Hey, easy, easy! All right. Then, I take it we can't do business.

Gussie: Warren, you're through. Washed up! Wuined! *scoffs* You'll never get another cent from any mouse, anywhere.

Warren T.: Eh, we’ll see about that! Just you wait, little rat! Just…

A defiant Warren T. walked up to the building, but before he could reach the building, Luffy swiftly jumped down, blocking his pathway and facing him head on, ready to fight.

Luffy: Hold it!

Warren T.: HA, you think you can stop me, eh kid? Don’t make me laugh! You should’ve actually stayed up there if ya wanted to avoid bein’ breakfast!

Luffy: The only thing you’re gonna be eating for breakfast is my fist when I’m done with you!

Warren T.: You think it’s over, eh kid? Quite the poor judgment on your part, ‘cause it ain’t over for me. Not by a long shot either. *raises his arm and snaps his fingers* Get ‘em boys!

A couple of seconds past by and nothing happened. A confused Warren T. tried snapping his fingers again…nothing happened. He tried a third time…still nothing.

Warren T.: *annoyed* Hey! Are you guys taking a bre—

An annoyed Warren T. turns around only to see his gang cowering behind the monsters. The mice started to laugh as Warren’s face snarled with frustration.

Warren T.: Hey! What are you nitwits doing?! Get over here and waste this brat!

Cat #1: Not a chance, boss! We saw that brat back at the market the other day. That guy’s nothing to sneeze at!

Warren T.: Did you guys hit your heads in the sewers?! You’re telling me you mooks are scared of a little human?!

Cat #2: Trust us boss, he ain’t human!

Cat #3: He can stretch like rubber and puff up like balloon!

Cat #4: And he hits like a wrecking ball. Morty still has that lump from before.

Cat #5: If you want to waste him, be our guest.

Warren T. almost turned red with anger at his men, but then he notices the monsters and suddenly his anger vanished. He searches the pockets of his nightshirt till he found something that made him chuckle.

Warren T.: *to Luffy* You know, kid. The guys in the Guild warned me about you. I just never expected to have to use this!

He pulls out and shows Luffy what looks like a black king chess piece.

Warren T.: You’re very lucky.

Luffy: Huh?

Warren T. takes the chess piece and presses down on the crown as if it was a button and it flashes a dark purple light.



Warren T. thrusts the chess piece into the ground and it makes a ‘PO-KONK!’ sound. A sound that the Cloaked Man was somehow able to hear. A dark circle appears were the chess piece stood as black lighting surges from the circle. The lightning strikes the chess piece, creating a black orb around it, growing bigger and bigger until it starts to take shape.

The shape begins to materialize into a bizarre towering monster with spindly legs resembling scissor jacks, arms that appear and sound like they're made of paper, and a head that resembles a jester’s. Its arms are black and it wears black armor with large, red shoulder pads, a black codpiece, and has a very thin and small red body. The upper halves of its legs are red, while their lower halves are black. Its feet are black, flat, and curled at the tips. Much of its upper body and head sport gold highlights.

??????? ????: CHETSUORG……JUGGLER KING!!!!

Luffy: What the heck is that!?

Warren T.: My little insurance policy in case the mice decide to bite back. And now I get a chance to use it. Okay Chetsuorg! First get rid of that little human and then…crush those mice!

The Chetsuorg nods with compliance, reaches behind its back and pulls out several clubs with zigzagging purple and lavender stripes on them. As expect it begins to juggle them like a professional clown, confusing the mice and Luffy. But since we’re pressed for time, just as it catches the third pin…

Juggler King: IMPACT JUGGLER!!!!

Juggler King throws the pins at Luffy like axes with the speed of a throwing star. Luffy barely manages to dodge the pins as they crash into the door, piercing it. One of the pins strikes through the door, almost hitting the Cloaked Man in the head and startling Honest John.

Honest John: What in the blazes was that?!

Cloaked Man: Trouble…I’ll be right back.

The Cloaked Man rushed away to another part of building, leaving Honest John to try and stop the weapon.

Honest John: Wait! Where are you going?!

Cloaked Man: Getting help.

Back outside, Juggler King pulls out more pins and starts tossing them at Luffy, who was either dodging or blocking them with his fists. After dealing another salvo of pins, Juggler King reaches back and pulls out a bunch of bombs.

Warren T.: Adios!

Clicking its teeth to generate sparks, Juggler King lights the bombs and throws him at Luffy one by one. Each bomb starts exploding, some almost hitting Luffy. One of the bombs hits a crate full of cotton and ignites it, causing the flames to spread toward the building. Another bomb explodes just inches from Luffy, knocking him to the ground. As Juggler King throws the finishing bomb, a gust of cold wind bursts from nowhere, striking the bomb and encasing it in ice.

Luffy stood up to see the Kamen Rider standing between him and the surprised Juggler King.

Cat #1: Boss! That’s him! That’s the other guy we told ya about!

Warren T.: You! So you’re that Kamen Rider guy Alpus warned me about and who’s been roughing up my boys!

Kamen Rider: I am and have been. *to Luffy* you ok, rubber boy?

Luffy: I guess. *gets back up*

Kamen Rider: Good. Now where were we?

Warren T.: GET THEM!

Juggler King and the monsters charge at Warren T.’s command, with Luffy and Kamen Rider countering back. As this happened, Honest John and a few other mice kept struggling to keep the weapon from breaking out early.


Finally, they managed to tie one last rope from the weapon and put it near a nail put into the ground. Honest John, still struggling to push the weapon back, sighed with relief, knowing that the weapon was no longer moving forward.

Honest John: Oh saints be praised! It stopped.

But it seemed that timing was not on their side, for the Star of Hong Kong has just blown its whistle, readying to depart from the port. Upon hearing this, Gussie turned to the mice inside the building and shouted.


Finally, the clock struck 6 and rang rapidly. Upon hearing the clock, Honest John realized that it was now time to release the weapon which was bad as they had just stopped from launching early.

Honest John: Rewease? Oh, no! RELEASE THE SECRET WEAPON!


Oooh, ooh, ooh, oh my goodness!

Soon everyone went from preventing it from going to now pushing it out, while inside the cockpit, Franky and Usopp heard the signal.

Franky: Oh, NOW they want us to launch!

Usopp: Just start it back up Franky, quick!

Outside, the boat slowly started to move out of the docks. Luffy and the Kamen Rider were still fending off Juggler King with their attacks.

Luffy: Gum Gum Bullet!

Luffy delivers a punch, sending some of the monsters flying while the Juggler King tries to flatten him with his pins. The Kamen Rider was busy switching between


Inside, the mice were still struggling to get the weapon moving. Some mice tried untying the ropes, while another tried cutting it loose with scissors, but none of their attempts worked.




Usopp: We’re not getting enough steam!

Tanya, her family, and the other Straw Hats were among those inside the weapon trying to start it back up with a steam pump apparatus.

Tanya: Faster guys!

Sanji: We’re going as fast as we can Tanya, but this thing just won’t budge!

Warren T.: So we can’t do business here, huh?
Turning back to the action outside, and knowing straight away what he had to do, Fievel glared with determination before rushing outside. Outside Warren T. was laughing at the mice’s expense as the building began to burn. As he did, Fievel got outside, grabbed a small torch and ran back in, going under Honest John and losing his hat in the process without even noticing. But he had to move fast, for the ship was starting to pull out of port. Gussie gasped as the ship as leaving before turning back to the others.


Fievel reached the rope holding the weapon back and lit the rope with his torch. Within seconds the rope beings to break apart bit by bit from the torch. Finally the rope breaks, sending Fievel flying to the ground, causing him to hit his head hard on a metal pin. Exhausted by the whole ordeal and coupled by the sudden head trauma, the young mouse passed out. The breaking of the rope causes the weapon to jerk forward, startling everyone inside including Franky and Usopp.

Franky: What was that?

Usopp: Feels like the main rope’s been cut! We’re free!

Franky: Bout damn time! *into a comm tube* THE WEAPON’S FREE! PUMP THIS BABY UP!

And pumped up the weapon they did.

Tanya: Faster!

Sanji: You heard her Mosshead, faster!

Zoro: I was gonna say the same for you, Swirly Brow!

Sanji: You’re lucky I’m busy with this pump or I’d kick your head in.

Zoro: Seems pumping’s the only thing you’re good at other than your crappy cooking.

Sanji: OH YEAH?!

Zoro and Sanji sped up the tempo as Papa and the others tried to keep up. In the cockpit, the needles of some gauges hit straight to ‘MAX’ as steam started to leak from the pipes.

Usopp: Pressure’s at maximum! We got power!

Franky: Oh yeah! Now to go SUPER on these cats! IT’S SHOWTIME!!!!

Franky pulls on a few levers, grabs the throttle and thrusted them forward, the weapon charges at the door, slamming into them. The loud slam causes the Maulers to stop laughing as they turn to see the door bulging outwards, cracks formed from the wood with the chains barely holding back what’s trying to come out. A sharp blast of wind erupts from the cracks, extinguishing the flames at the door. A loud roar comes from behind the doors as sparks of fire flew out from the cracks as if a beast from hell was trying to claw its way out. The cats, Warren T. mostly, were shaking with fear at whatever was on the other side of those doors, its chains on the verge of breaking.



The doors burst wide open, exploding into splinters; fireworks of every sort flew in all directions as a massive mouse-like monster emerged from inside.

Warren T.: Get a load of that!

A firework strikes at the cats feet, causing them to jump, as the Secret Weapon stepped forward; the biggest mechanical mouse they or anyone else ever saw in their lives. With glowing yellow eyes, sharp teeth, and electrical motors, gears and wires all around it, the Weapon lets out a terrifying roar as it walked out of the building.

Cat #1: What the hell is that thing?!

Cat #2: It’s colossal!

Cat #3: It’s enormous!



Yes indeed, it was the Giant Mouse of Minsk (since the name was painted on one side)! What was once Russian folklore has been brought to live thanks to some good old American ingenuity, some mice innovation and a dab or two of Straw Hat brand elbow grease.

Franky: Alright you cats! Say hello to my latest weapon; the Battle Franky 38.5: The Iron Giant Mouse of Minsk!

Usopp: *deadpan* Really?

Franky: Hey, I gotta get some credit for this thing. Now watch this!

Franky pulls on rope and the mouse lets out another bloodcurdling roar as fireworks shot out of its mouth. The cats jumped into the air as the fireworks struck the ground, exploding on impact.

Franky: Take this! Iron Minsk Gigant Whip!

It then spun around and swung its tail like a club, swatting anyone who was too slow to react. These poor saps were some cats and monsters that got sent flying upwards and came crashing down. Unfortunately, on the second whip around Juggler King, Luffy and the Kamen Rider get caught by the tail and sent flying. Juggler King and the Kamen Rider get tossed into one the piles of crates and get buried under them. While Luffy gets sent flying from the pier and into the distance. And for those asking, Luffy was so starstruck by the giant machine rodent that he didn’t even notice the tail coming at him. Also there was so much commotion with the fireworks and all that either Franky or Ussop even noticed Luffy on the pier.

Warren T.: What are you mooks waiting for?! Take that thing down!!!

Snapping out of their stupor, the Maulers rushed at the Weapon, readying to tear it apart (if they could).

Franky: So you cats wanna throw down…

Franky grabs two control levels and pulls them back, the Weapon rears up and raises its arms as if ready to throw a punch. The cats suddenly screeched to a halt as the giant mouse was ready to tussle.

Franky: Then let’s throw down! FRANKY IRON MOUSE BOXING!!!!

Using the levers, Franky shadow boxes while the Weapon mimics his movements, only it was actually hitting something namely the cats. They dodged as best they could from the attacks but it wasn’t enough as the cats got hit by the punches and some got sending flying off the pier and into the water below.

Franky: Okay Usopp, time to get this mousy rolling! Pull the lever!

Usopp pulls a nearby lever and suddenly a boxing glove pops out of the console and hits Franky on the nose with a –POW! Usopp winced from the sight as the boxing glove bounced in Franky’s face.

Franky: Why does this thing even have that lever?

Usopp: I pulled the wrong—

Franky: Yes, you pulled the wrong lever! It’s the one marked with the blue handle.

Sheepishly, Usopp pulls the right lever this time. The Weapon landed on all fours again only this time wheels pop out from the palms of its paws. With the pistons and pumps inside the limbs, the wheels began to spin and the Giant Mouse started moving with the speed of a locomotive at top speed. The Mouse runs through the maulers, knocking them over like bowling pins while fireworks shoot out of its body. Inside its mouth, two mice readied a firework and lit it. The firework shoots out of the mouth and strikes just inches from Warren T. and his goons, causing them to jump up.

Warren T.: CHARGE!!!!!

The cats ran up crates on the sides, seeking to gain an advantage from higher ground…

Mouse #1: FIRE!

…only to be meet with a barrage of fireworks fired by some mice already stationed at the top.

Cats: RETREAT!!!!

The cats raced back down to the ground, with the fireworks hot on their tails. The fireworks exploded on them as they reached the ground. With the giant mouse chasing them and fireworks blasting on all sides, the Maulers only had one option available…


Warren T. ran alongside the other cats for his life, narrowly dodging one of the firecrackers by jumping over it. Digit, hiding in Warren T.’s hat, frantically whimpered as he held on. Back in the weapon, Tony let off some firecrackers with Chopper and Nami. Nami pulls out a makeshift gatling gun. (Actually it was a gadget made by Franky that was a cross between a meat grinder and a rotary gun with a bunch of roman candles attached to the barrel.)

Nami: This’ll light a fire under them!

Nami lights the roman candles and turns the crank, spinning the rotary barrel. Within seconds the candles go off and shots fire with the mad speed you’d expect from a gatling gun. The flares strike the cats and monsters, sending some of them flying when they got struck in the butt by a roman candle flares. The Weapon chases them across the pier and as it got closer to the river, the mice and the Straw Hats started to abandon ship. With that, everyone jumped out with their parachutes, save for Franky and Usopp who were still in the cockpit. The Mousekowitz family, having jumped out along with the other mice, looked on as the weapon chased the cats far off to the edge of the pier.

Tanya: We did it!

Back in the cockpit…

Usopp: Franky, what are you doing! We need to abandon mouse right now. And I can’t believe I just said that.

Franky: We ain’t jumping just yet, gotta make sure this baby sees its job through! Now hold on to something.

Franky pulls another lever and the Weapon begins to speed up some more.


Warren T. kept on running till a stray firework causing him to trip and fall. Digit screamed as the weapon barreled towards them, firing off firecrackers as it did. It caught up to Warren T., causing him to cling onto the weapon’s feet. He saw up ahead his fellow gang members huddled together at the edge of the pier with no way out.

Franky: Okay, now we abandon mouse!

Franky and Usopp rush out of the cockpit via a hatch in the back of the head and leapt off just in
time as the Weapon flies right off the pier, knocking the Mott Street Maulers and the monsters right into the river. They all land with a resounding kersplash, with the cats desperately trying to stay afloat while the monsters sank into the river and dissolved away.

Warren T.: I can’t swim!

The mice all began to cheer for their success as this was a happy day for all of them, they were finally rid of the Mott Street Maulers.

Honest John: Ladies and gentlemen, credit where it's due! We owe it all to Fillie and his Mouse of Minsk!

Everybody throws their hats in the air happily and they sing a new rendition of "There are no Cats in America".

Mice: Now there are no cats in America
We can do just as we please.
Oh there are no cats in America
So set your minds at ease.

Tanya: Fillie? Who's Fillie?

Back in the water, Warren, Digit, and all the other cats swam towards an anchor, coughing and soaking wet.

Warren T.: Someday, Gussie Mausheimer, someday! *coughs* And you, too, Mousekewitz. All of you! I hate mice! *coughs, sighs in exhaustion* I'm having a heart attack here.

As the anchor raises upwards, they notice the name of the ship, the Star of Hong Kong, which meant that this ship was heading to China.

Warren T.: Ahem. Oh, don't worry, gentlemen. Don't worry. There are plenty of mice in Hong Kong.

Digit: Oh, my! I'll have to learn to calculate in Chinese.

Digit’s antennas start shocking his head as he counts some coins in Chinese. But is interrupted by a foghorn as the ship pulls out of the harbor.

Warren T.: Hey, I wonder how you say "trust me" in Chinese.

Meanwhile, far above the harbor, a mysterious object was flowing far above. At a distance, one would confuse it to be some harmless old bird. But if one had a telescope on hand, they would see that the so called bird was in fact a large cross star-shaped drone observing a whole event at the pier.

Drone: (decoded) Scout TX1138 to Citadel…Warren T. and Mott Street Maulers have been expelled from New York…Operation Status: Failure…Straw Hats confirmed to be involved…Returning to Citadel…

And with that a portal opens up and the drone flies into it as the portal closes behind it.