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Fanfiction ► Rugby Gone Wild! Dating Show Dilema!



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Katattack

Thank You Jonathan Larson
Joined
Jun 23, 2005
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Recounting my exploits as an Anarchist. =D
=O This is a one-shot challenge. =D From dear Guardianofhearts! =D MY AUNT! =D No. She's just mah friend. Not Rath's friend. My friend. She's Rath's GIRLFRIEND. =D <.< >.> Friendship > Relationship <.< >.>

Rugby decided to wake up. It was time to greet the day! Rugby strolled across the room, throwing open the window and letting the smell of Christmas waft into his room six months early.

"Good morning, The Day!" Rugby cried happily. The Day did not anwer. It was going to be a Bad Day.

Now, usually, when Rugby had a Bad Day, something minor just kept showing up everywhere and annoying him, like a stupid classmate, or a plague of locusts. Today was different. Today the Bad Day would consist of....

"I've been chosen to go onto a dating show?!" Rugby wailed out loud, gripping the letter he had retrieved from his kitten, Markucian. Rugby turned around, observing Fernidash slurp up some Slimjim-fast. The Llama-Dragon Hybrid turned to face it's master, its beverage falling from his furry face and landing with plops! on the floor.

Rugby had no choice but to attend. The kind people of "Hook You Up!" With many a pointing index finger had politely asked him to come, and Rugby never missed an oppurtunity to make new acquaintences.

Rugby, still in striped pajamas, threw open the door to his emergency Game Show teleporter and stepped on through the portal of confetti. When he stepped out, he was pleased to see that he was on the set of...

"And now... Let's get ready to..." A young man in a suit made of Everlasting Gobstopper wrappers faced the crowd before turning to Rugby.

"Hook! You! Up!" Each word uttered simultaneously from the crowd and the young man was accented by a point with the index finger at young Rugby.

A small girl was seated on a stool quite menacingly labeled "Take and die." Rugby turned away from a commercial containing two people walking to the music of a Mr. Cash to see that the young man was walking towards him.

Rugby held out a hand to shake, but the man dressed in yellow had already pushed him onto a stool and signaled for backup with the following hand signs:

Horse, dog, Radish, Pickle, Horse, Rent, Rent, Rent, Rent, Horse, Pickle, Rent.

Before he knew it, Rugby was being thrust into make up, which promptly slid off because Rugby decided it was rancid. He then proceeded to break out into song****:

My eyes are fully open to my awful situation
So I'm singing you a song to demand an explanation
When the make up that you put upon me slid off without-

Rugby didn't have time to finish the song, however, as he was soon thrust onto another stool seated next to a large, threatening curtain. It blocked everything on his right side from his sight, and even with super peripherals, he could not recover. Rugby equals ohed as the young man and stooled woman came toward him.

"Hello, I am Gerd. Or Gerard. Or Cloud_Unchained. TOUCH MY RIKKU AND YOU DIE," Gerard politely informed Rugby. Rugby nodded, glad to hear this warning. "Note to self" Rugby thought. "Stay away from the white-haired kid."

"I'm Pickle. You ever hear of Wilson Jermaine Heredia?" She suspiciously cast a stink-eye at Rugby.

Rugby Equals ohed. "He is among the most beautiful creatures that has ever graced the planet! I hope one day to play some basketball with him!"

Pickle decided this was okay.

Rugby was soon explained the rules of the show. The audience would pick which person would match him best, and he would get to go on a date with whoever was picked without really ever having a say in things. Rugby Decided that Today, this method would make sense.

"All right. Rugby..." Gerd started. "Let's begin to..."

"HOOK! YOU! UP!" The crowd erupted in applause.​

Rugby equals ohed again. Maybe this would be fun.

"Let's meet the Contestants." Pickle said, bored. She walked around the curtain and pointed at people.

"First we have Contestant #1. She enjoys bishies. She hopes to be a wife of many a bishie. She always... Krazy... Did you fill all of your info card out like this?"

Rugby heard C1 nod. He also believed she was equals deeing, but he could not be sure. Pickle sighed, moving on to the second contestant.

"Here we have Contestant #2. She enjoys anything but this. She hopes to get off this stupid gameshow. She always wonders why Kat writes fanfictions that include her as a main character and force her to date Rugby against her will." Pickle said in a monotone.

The young lady's voice shouted in defiance: "It's all true! I hate this!"

"GoH!" Rugby shouted. "It's you!" He was happy to see her.

Pickle moved on to the last Contestant. "Meet... Silver?" Pickle was at a loss for words. "Umm... he enjoys 'What the ... bleep... am I doing here?' He hopes to 'How the bleep did you even bleeping get me on this bleeping show?' He always 'I swear if I don't get answers I'm gonna-"

"Let's meet Rugby!" Gerd suggested, pointing at the Salmonface in question. "Rugby Salmonface enjoys Deciding how things will be. He also likes making friends. And cheese."

The audience mumbled approval. Everyone loved a good cheese.

"Rugby... you may now interview your contestants while I persuade Pickle to wear a chicken suit." Gerard said, smiling.

"I told you it aint gonna happen." Pickle glared. "I gave that suit to Kat on Katquinox. Cause she wouldn't stop crying after she saw it."

- The writer would like to take a pause and state that she does indeed own a Chicken Suit. -

Rugby looked at the Curtain, which promptly glared back at him.

"C1." Rugby began. "What qualities would you like your spouse to possess?"

There was a pause before the contestant spoke. "Intelligence is always good. And being hawt." The audience murmured more approval.

"Contestant 2." Rugby began. "How would you like-"

"Please go swallow a knife, I hate you." The young lady's voice rang out.

The crowed murmured approval.

Rugby gulped. "Contestant 3... How many times a week would you say you go shoe shopping?"

"Four. Wait - I mean, get me off this game show! I'm not even a girl, Rugby!"

"Contestant 1, what do you think about contestant 3?" Rugby asked.

Another pause before she spoke up. "SILVERAZY FTW!" She shouted.

"Contestant 2, what do you think of me?" Rugby asked, hopefully.

There was a pause before GoH answered. "Rugby... leave me alone."

"Contestant 3-" Rugby started before being interrupted by a large ripping sound. It appeared a small hamster had gnawed at the curtain, finally causing it to fall. It's evil reign overthrown, the contestants were free to mingle.

"And now a word from our sponsors." Gerard said, elbowing Pickle out of the camera's range. A commercial appeared just as Pickle's fist came flying within the shot.

"NEW FROM VAPOR-EYEZ!" the Narator shouted. Kat threw pieces of popcorn at the T.V. Noelle, Fenneh - who is now Premium, congrats if he ever sees this xD - , Pengy_CEO, Chaotic_Countess... I think, an assortment of bishies, Fernidash, Markucian, and The Spawn glared at the T.V. as the commercial had the nerve to keep playing.

"Ever needed to just dance it all out? Well, now you can!"

"I can?!" The narator attempted to sound like two different people while the T.V. showed an old tire and a fire hydrant.

"You can! With new Dance Floor in a Bottle!" The Old Tire slowly morphed into a cabbage.

"Just one spray and your dance floor is ready to go!"

"That's amazing!"

"You're Amazing!"

"Let's get married!"

"We can't! I'm in love with your brother-"

The commercial ended. As the Muffin Soldiers, and the newly entered Muffin Cadet who showed up cause Kat forgot to mention him at first, began to rejoice, another commercial came on. Many a popcorn piece was thrown, just to be slurped up by Fernidash.

"In a world where several people join forces to conquer an unseen enemy... Wait. No. In a world where there is an unseen enemy... several people and animals join forces to conquer. They are... the Cupcake National Guardsmen!"

The screen flashed to show cunning state-of-the-art special effects as several people and animals ran around in circles while singing songs from Rent.

"Rated R for really fantastic and fun. Oh, some of them swear. But not too much. Mostly just "Flam". So it's actually rated PG. But we made it R so that more kids would sneak in to see it."

"That movie looked stupid. The twin of the Veggie was tall!" Kat threw popcorn on the screen.

Finally, the screen cut back to the set of the show.

Rugby looked at GoH. "GoH... I know you love me... but Rath needs you." He turned, walking away. "I'll always be here for you. When you need a friend."

As GoH proceeded to spray some unknown substance onto the floor - which promptly evolved into a dance floor... OMG! EVOLUTION! - Gerard's muffled cries could be heard through the sock stuffed in his mouth.

The young man was tied with his feet stuck to his hands, facing the ceiling. Pickle was heating the biggest cattlebrand you ever saw with a light bulb. The brand depicted a pickle in combat boots pushing a small child and taking it's lollipop."

Kat paused the frame. ((FREEZE THE FRAME!!!!! BACK IT UP!!!!! TIME TO REFOC- I'm done.)) That worked for some reason. "This proves it, ladies and Gentlemen. Mary Magdalene is clearly visible in that space between the old tire and the fire extinguisher." The fellow muffin soldiers and affiliates nodded in agreement.

"It obviously symbolizes the importance of the balance between the branches of the American Government in order to maintain a democracy that no one group has absolute power over." Spoketh the Muffin Cadet.

The crowd of the gameshow mumbled their approval.

Kat unpaused the show, allowing it to return to it's normal speed. Pickle, Amme, Silver, and Krazy were talking about something. The latter three seemed very angry.

"You mean to tell us that Kat set all of this up?" GoH shouted.

"Yeah. She was sure that Rugby'd pick contestant 3, though. She owes me five bucks." Pickle informed them, proudly.

"..." Silver grimaced. "I'm contestant three."

"She knew that." Pickle said innocently.

"Take it as a compliment." GoH said impatiently.

Krazy paused, though. "Wait a second... she thought he'd pick Silver over us?!"

GoH and Krazy looked at each other, than the camera.

A fly flew out of the T.V. screen and into the room. Kat turned to the other members of the crowd.

"Run, Kat! They're on to you!" Random shouts consisted mostly of this message.

But Kat was already gone. Far off in a place called: Pickle's room. Where she hid, afraid of what her friends might do. And she remains there to this day. Until she gets bored, and she comes out and responds to one-shot challenges.

The End.

"But wait! There's more!" A smiling Gerd said, eyeing his now branded forehead with a mirror. "All who participated get free life sized Rent Plushies! Except the crowd! Cause they only mumble approval."

The crowd mumbled their approval.

Kat decided to end the fic.

The crowd mumbled their approval.


**** Kat so did NOT minorly rewrite a few words from "The Speed Test" from Thoroughly Modern Millie.... <.< >.> Rugby did. =D
 
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TheClamWhisperer

Vampire Fish
Joined
Jan 1, 2005
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Fleet Street
xDD

Awesome, Kat! -is sneaking on the computer- <.< >.>
-pats Fernidash- Thats a good llama-dragon hybrid...=3

You need to do more writings with Rugby, they are too funny to not experience. -gives Wilson plushie- :3
 

Krazy

Jabberwocky
Joined
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3,443
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Wonderland. We're all mad here! :D
"Another pause before she spoke up. "SILVERAZY FTW!" She shouted. " ZOMGYEAH!!

I want Dance Floor In a Bottle, Kat. o.o

And I would hafta approve of Rugby before he took my Silvar on a date. :3

ZOMG! THAT'S A CRAZY-ASP CRACK PAIRING! -takes note of it-

I'm kidding. <3

{No I'm not. x333}

THAT WAS AWESOME, KAT! :DDDD YOUR RANDOMNESS IS SO RANDOM! AND BEAUTIMOUS! Gud Kat-child. <333
 

GuardianOfHearts

Darkrooms and safelights
Joined
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Sitting inside the viewfinder of a camera, watchin
Katattack said:
"Here we have Contestant #2. She enjoys anything but this. She hopes to get off this stupid gameshow. She always wonders why Kat writes fanfictions that include her as a main character and force her to date Rugby against her will."


...yes I do. You ALWAYS marry me to him when I'm silent in the chats! xO

That was hilarious Kat. And also very scary. I want a restraining order on Rugby.

-Ecks dees-
 

Cloud_Unchained

Hooray! Hooray!
Joined
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Messages
4,231
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32
...yes I do. You ALWAYS marry me to him when I'm silent in the chats! xO

That was hilarious Kat. And also very scary. I want a restraining order on Rugby.

-Ecks dees-

Maybe you shouldn't be silent in the chats. XD

Good reading Kat. Very good reading. Poor Rugby though. I hate bad days too. Luckily for me, I don't have to put up with anything like a dating game show.
 
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