Sam Critiques Your Photos Because You're A Fat Disgusting Pile of Shit

[Bukkake Sensei]

ahahahahaah it's like jezza but with 20% more body fat

who talked you into getting that haircut? somebody who hates you? it's like you're cosplaying as humpty dumpty

nice chinstrap, btw, it totally doesn't frame your face awkwardly and make your head look like an egg

or maybe you don't have a chinstrap and it's just the shadow cast by your second chin, can't really tell

you've aged like 15 years in six months, but on the bright side, your life makes a great cautionary tale about the dangers of turning to meth in the wake of traumatic experiences

nice hair, you're like justin bieber on food stamps

and those ears, my god, can you pick up satellite signals with that shit?

it's like sarah jessica parker <small>kupo!</small>ed ted danson, your face is so disgustingly long

semper anime. carry on.

dude, watch out, jabba looks kinda hungry

 

[Orion]

IDK MAN I DONT LOOK GOOD WITH LONGER HAIR

DONT JUDGE ME ITS HARD LIVING LIKE THIS
AS A TUB OF LARD
:CCCCCCCCCCCCCC

 

[Turn]

i guess i'm just too thin and beautiful

 

[TheMuffinMan]

woah there, A.C Slater, when did I tune into Saved By The Bell: Before the Balls Dropped.

You look like Mario Lopez if he never realized that the best way to beat the hot latin sun was not, in fact, to grow your hair in a fashion similar to an arab head scarf

I'd say you were giving me bedroom eyes with this picture, but to be honest I feel like it's more like the look you see in afterschool specials when the wide-eyed youth hears the coach wants him to stay after school for "private lessons" and thinks he's going to make the basketball team

if I had one nice thing to say, at least you've got a pretty mouth

 

[Rich]

sam will you criticize me

am i still your favorite homosexual