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Santa's a criminal!



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unknown_boy

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Okay, by now we should all know that the ol' fat isn't real and if you still believe in him then you got some issues that I don't want to know about. But something came up in mind when my prissy little step-sister came up to me and asked if I knew where Santa lived. Now, at that moment, boiling rage filled me. I have a thing against the whole idea of Santa. Basically it's a lazy fat guy, that sits on his bouncy arse and works only once a year. Not only that but he has midgets, oh sorry, "little people" doing manual labor! He doesn't even pay them, he just wiggles his obese arse over to them and calls them a Ho in a clever way. Then he takes all their hardwork away. No, he doesn't let them have what they sweated over, He takes their sh*t and gives it to the some supposedly "good" children. And another thing, He knows when you are sleeping and he knows when you are awake, DOES ANYBODY ESLE FIND THAT SOMEWHAT PERVERTED?! The guy is literally stalking kids! I can just picture the sicko getting off with a candy cane while watching some elementary kids playing! Oh, and not to mention cruelty to animals, this pedophile uses 12 reindeer to fly his heavy ass around. Why won't he just use the damn airlines? Another thing, this man has got to be on some kind of drug. There is no way in hell that coffee can keep a person up while traveling all over the freaking world! When a human being can make a 24 hour trip across the globe, while 12 reigndeer pull his ass, then I'll praise Bush! AND another thing, doesn't it seem like the dude should be locked up, seeing on how he is breaking and entering houses, While everyone is alseep! And the thing is, NO ONE CARES! Their okay with some fat guy crawling down their freaking chimney in the middle of the night and drinking up all their damn milk! Why is that? Oh, because he bribes them with gifts. "Hey what the hell are you doing in my hous--OH MY GOD IS THAT A PS3?!" The thing is that while you're drooling over your gifts, the basterd probably stole some of your more useful items! And then, again, he gives his victorious shout by calling every a whore while flying through the air. Probably going to a Whore house because he damn sure ain't giving any to his wife!
So when my Step-sister asked me if I knew where he lived, instead of ruining her false, perverted fantasy, I walked away.
I do know one thing though, I am not going to feel my kid's minds with that BS. So I want to know what you opinions are on Santa.
 
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MegaFlare

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Watch the language, both of you.

Also, you don't quite understand the concept behind the subject, so you turn it into a twisted, pessimistic point of view. Well done on that.
 

Mythological Omega

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Sorry about the language. Anyway, Santa's just a made up figment that's originally designed to enchant young children with dreams of a jolly fat man coming into their house and leaving them presents. If you look at it from an older person's point of view, he's some fat guy that breaks into your house every year. They don't see the "Jollyness" that's intended for them to see. That's what I believe, anyway.
 

Enchanted Rose

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unknown_boy said:
Okay, by now we should all know that the ol' fatisn't real and if you still believe in him then you got some issues
Your rant revolves around the supposition that Santa is real.
....issues indeed.

Just for the record, Santa > You.
 

scubasteve

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To Unknown_Boy:

I know what you're getting for Christmas- a big lump of coal.

You fail like hell. Do you even understand the concept of Santa Claus? Well, take that back, because the way you act, I doubt you know anything. There's more to him than just a symbol of jolly good times and happiness.

Okay, by now we should all know that the ol' fat isn't real and if you still believe in him then you got some issues

Wrong.

One's beliefs =/= Issues

Santa is as real as the next guy, as long as you believe in him. And if we want to get technical here, he is based off of a real person, but I highly doubt you knew that.

But something came up in mind when my prissy little step-sister came up to me and asked if I knew where Santa lived. Now, at that moment, boiling rage filled me.

You got mad because you're sister believes in jolliness and happiness? I think you are the one with issues.

I have a thing against the whole idea of Santa.

So you're against happiness? Hmm, again the issues thing you mentioned is clearly beginning to backfire, ya?

Basically it's a lazy fat guy, that sits on his bouncy arse and works only once a year.

No, he works all year. He prepares for the holidays all year, while you just take him for granted.

Not only that but he has midgets, oh sorry, "little people" doing manual labor! He doesn't even pay them, he just wiggles his obese arse over to them and calls them a Ho in a clever way.

They do the work because they want to, not because Santa forced them to. Again, they too do this to appreciate the holidays.

No, he doesn't let them have what they sweated over, He takes their sh*t and gives it to the some supposedly "good" children.

Again, they do it to see every child happy at least once a year.

And another thing, He knows when you are sleeping and he knows when you are awake, DOES ANYBODY ESLE FIND THAT SOMEWHAT PERVERTED?! The guy is literally stalking kids! I can just picture the sicko getting off with a candy cane while watching some elementary kids playing!

He's magic, that's why. Again, it's not crazy if you believe in it.

Oh, and not to mention cruelty to animals, this pedophile uses 12 reindeer to fly his heavy ass around. Why won't he just use the damn airlines?

haha, the airlines. I can just imagine him carrying all those gifts. It's obvious he doesn't want the stewardist to check his bags. And besides, the animals are loyal to Santa, and they're magic, as well as Santa. Reindeer also like to see happiness in the eyes of children.

Another thing, this man has got to be on some kind of drug. There is no way in hell that coffee can keep a person up while traveling all over the freaking world!

Again, magic. The man knows what he's doing. Keep in mind he's preparing for this day all year, so he knows how to handle the situation.

When a human being can make a 24 hour trip across the globe, while 12 reigndeer pull his ass, then I'll praise Bush!

Well, hello there fellow Republican.

AND another thing, doesn't it seem like the dude should be locked up, seeing on how he is breaking and entering houses, While everyone is alseep!

Again, Santa is the symbol of happiness, and he's helping bring happiness to the world, so why should he be locked up for doing something he has permission to do? I mean, my god, we leave cookies for the man, so I think that's a well enough invitation.

And the thing is, NO ONE CARES! Their okay with some fat guy crawling down their freaking chimney in the middle of the night and drinking up all their damn milk! Why is that? Oh, because he bribes them with gifts. "Hey what the hell are you doing in my hous--OH MY GOD IS THAT A PS3?!"

Refer to my last post. And besides, I think you answered your previous question.

The thing is that while you're drooling over your gifts, the basterd probably stole some of your more useful items!

Yeah, because the symbol of happiness, and someone with magical powers, has to take someone's television.

And then, again, he gives his victorious shout by calling every a whore while flying through the air. Probably going to a Whore house because he damn sure ain't giving any to his wife!

Yeah, now your just being angry, because Santa doesn't do that. Again, as I've stated many times, he is the symbol of happiness. And how do you know he isn't giving anything to his wife? So, you're an expert on Santa's life now, when you hate his very "false" existence?

So when my Step-sister asked me if I knew where he lived, instead of ruining her false, perverted fantasy, I walked away.

False? Perverted? Again, it's not false if it's something you believe in. That's like saying believing in God is "false." It's true as long as YOU believe it. And, explain to me how it's perverted.

I do know one thing though, I am not going to feel my kid's minds with that BS.

Refer to my last post.

So I want to know what you opinions are on Santa.

I'm quite certain I made it clear enough.
 

Iwrestledabearonce

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I think Unknown_Boy is a False, Perverted Fantasy.

I bet you get off to Pre-School kids.

Oh yeah, I went there.

By the way, you seem hell-bent on turning Santa into a bad person.

He's awesome. I've lost all respect in you, though, in truth, I never had any to begin with.
 

Carbunkel

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Santa > You.
EMPHASSSSIIIIISSS


Santa is the magic man. DON'T MESS WITH SANTA


Now then, I suggest you remove your self from the premises and visit a doctor ASAP. Looks like you've got a major case of faggotitis.


Seriously, you've got issues.
 

Genocide

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Okay, by now we should all know that the ol' fat isn't real and if you still believe in him then you got some issues that I don't want to know about. But something came up in mind when my prissy little step-sister came up to me and asked if I knew where Santa lived. Now, at that moment, boiling rage filled me. I have a thing against the whole idea of Santa. Basically it's a lazy fat guy, that sits on his bouncy arse and works only once a year. Not only that but he has midgets, oh sorry, "little people" doing manual labor! He doesn't even pay them, he just wiggles his obese arse over to them and calls them a Ho in a clever way. Then he takes all their hardwork away. No, he doesn't let them have what they sweated over, He takes their sh*t and gives it to the some supposedly "good" children. And another thing, He knows when you are sleeping and he knows when you are awake, DOES ANYBODY ESLE FIND THAT SOMEWHAT PERVERTED?! The guy is literally stalking kids! I can just picture the sicko getting off with a candy cane while watching some elementary kids playing! Oh, and not to mention cruelty to animals, this pedophile uses 12 reindeer to fly his heavy ass around. Why won't he just use the damn airlines? Another thing, this man has got to be on some kind of drug. There is no way in hell that coffee can keep a person up while traveling all over the freaking world! When a human being can make a 24 hour trip across the globe, while 12 reigndeer pull his ass, then I'll praise Bush! AND another thing, doesn't it seem like the dude should be locked up, seeing on how he is breaking and entering houses, While everyone is alseep! And the thing is, NO ONE CARES! Their okay with some fat guy crawling down their freaking chimney in the middle of the night and drinking up all their damn milk! Why is that? Oh, because he bribes them with gifts. "Hey what the hell are you doing in my hous--OH MY GOD IS THAT A PS3?!" The thing is that while you're drooling over your gifts, the basterd probably stole some of your more useful items! And then, again, he gives his victorious shout by calling every a whore while flying through the air. Probably going to a Whore house because he damn sure ain't giving any to his wife!
So when my Step-sister asked me if I knew where he lived, instead of ruining her false, perverted fantasy, I walked away.
I do know one thing though, I am not going to feel my kid's minds with that BS. So I want to know what you opinions are on Santa.

My opinion on Santa is a high one. I recognize the fact that he's not real.
My opinon of you however, is pretty shoddy.


1. Your theory is based upon the chance if he is real.
2. The only thing I don't have a gripe with is the sees you when you're sleeping thing. es that is kinda creepy.
3. From how you're talking you have a lot of pent up aggression. Probably from not getting what you want. Here [gives unknown boy a ps3.] Have a happy holiday scrooge.
4. When he says ho, it's him being merry. For someone who is supposed to be picking out his faults, you sure are doing a poor job.
5. Coming into my house. If Santa were real, I'd trust him with 17 Million dollars AND expect for him not to steal it. Why? Because if he were real, he'd be the ABSOLUTE richest person in the world. Why would he need just some random crap from our houses when he has money and can buy 17 of those things if he wanted. He could go to Sony and buy the freaking company and keep the PS3's for himself. So Santa cam come into my house and give ME free PS3's and other free stuff, you just go and be a scrooge.
6. If he used the airlines, he'd be arrested for B&E. Not to mention no plane could go that fast. Think guy.
7. I think you're a spoiled brat that NEVER got anything you ever wanted. So you come on here and bash one of the few things that keeps us together as people. You are a sad excuse for a person. You are such a warmongering, fascist. I hope you o'd on flinstones vitamins. Go kill yourself. And since you're so intent on a ps3. Give me your mailing address, and I'll GIVE you my ps3. The act of giving. That's what Santa would want. You are far beyond help, and I can't deal with your idiocy anymore.

Merry Christmas...Scrooge [Throws a lump of coal at unknown_boys's head


Here is my christmas present to you:
http://lovedungeon.net/humor/misc/santa.html
 
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Shadukai X

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^POST IS WIN

Honestly unknown_boy, this isn't your best thread.....Try to be more original if you want to be funny....
 

Chris

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Raped by Cursed Rebellion.


If you have enough time to make that rant, your parents obviously don't love you and let you believe there was a santa until...yesterday, persay.


Misconception sure can come from being raped up the ass one too many times.



faggotitis.


that has faggot and tit's in it.
 

Chris

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In conclusion, unknown boy is a trap. Run.


Would a barrel roll be more effective as to dodge any onslaught, or should I merely do a somersault to get behind him?
 

Carbunkel

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Would a barrel roll be more effective as to dodge any onslaught, or should I merely do a somersault to get behind him?


Interesting point, good sir-ah. Come, let us attempt such a feat. Though, keep in mind, there's no flippin' way I'm gonna do anything : /
 

Ulti

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A fat man comes into your house to give you gifts that all together cost thousands of dollars and he only asks for cookies and milk in return. Don't bash him.

Lets start MY rant, shall we?

1. Who says Santa works once a year? He works every day making toys.
2. They are called "elves" and they work for five lollipops and two candy canes a day. That is..like $50 an hour.
3. So what if he knows I am awake. So do you guys. You aren't pervs(as far as I know)
4. Why pay for some cramped airline with stale peanuts when he can use his reindeer? And if you haven't guessed, they are MAGICAL reindeer who travel 249360469045 times the speed of light!
5. I say again. The reindeer move 249360469045 the spped of light. Santa gets the job done in a few hours.
6. Santa doesn't "break in". It is Christmas and everyone wants him in. If he is going to leave presents, why not?
7. They leave milk out. He doesn't steal you twit.
8. He leaves you presents! What is not to like?
9. ....There are things more useful then a PS3?..
10. I don't ever recalled Pre-Christmas alarms sent in about missing objects before.
11. Only a perv thinks "Ho ho ho" is anything but jolly.
12. Santa>You
13. Santa started out as a man who made shoes for poor little kids. Why do you have to go and ruin the idea of giving?

Point, Set, Match. Game over.
 

Lost Memories

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Okay, by now we should all know that the ol' fat isn't real and if you still believe in him then you got some issues that I don't want to know about. But something came up in mind when my prissy little step-sister came up to me and asked if I knew where Santa lived. Now, at that moment, boiling rage filled me. I have a thing against the whole idea of Santa. Basically it's a lazy fat guy, that sits on his bouncy arse and works only once a year. Not only that but he has midgets, oh sorry, "little people" doing manual labor! He doesn't even pay them, he just wiggles his obese arse over to them and calls them a Ho in a clever way. Then he takes all their hardwork away. No, he doesn't let them have what they sweated over, He takes their sh*t and gives it to the some supposedly "good" children. And another thing, He knows when you are sleeping and he knows when you are awake, DOES ANYBODY ESLE FIND THAT SOMEWHAT PERVERTED?! The guy is literally stalking kids! I can just picture the sicko getting off with a candy cane while watching some elementary kids playing! Oh, and not to mention cruelty to animals, this pedophile uses 12 reindeer to fly his heavy ass around. Why won't he just use the damn airlines? Another thing, this man has got to be on some kind of drug. There is no way in hell that coffee can keep a person up while traveling all over the freaking world! When a human being can make a 24 hour trip across the globe, while 12 reigndeer pull his ass, then I'll praise Bush! AND another thing, doesn't it seem like the dude should be locked up, seeing on how he is breaking and entering houses, While everyone is alseep! And the thing is, NO ONE CARES! Their okay with some fat guy crawling down their freaking chimney in the middle of the night and drinking up all their damn milk! Why is that? Oh, because he bribes them with gifts. "Hey what the hell are you doing in my hous--OH MY GOD IS THAT A PS3?!" The thing is that while you're drooling over your gifts, the basterd probably stole some of your more useful items! And then, again, he gives his victorious shout by calling every a whore while flying through the air. Probably going to a Whore house because he damn sure ain't giving any to his wife!
So when my Step-sister asked me if I knew where he lived, instead of ruining her false, perverted fantasy, I walked away.
I do know one thing though, I am not going to feel my kid's minds with that BS. So I want to know what you opinions are on Santa.

o_O... it was funny till you started getting all twisted with your post.

Part of the reason for santa is to try and make all the kiddies behave themselvs and to make it easier for the parents..hence the whole "be good or santa will give you coal insted" thing.
The presents are to help make every one happier and to forget thier worries for a while.
I hate being surrounded by incompetent fools...
Im not going to get into a rant fight so you prolly wont see me in this thred again!
 

scubasteve

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Unknown Boy has yet to retaliate with a post because he has nothing else to say. He's failed miserably, and deserves to jump off of a cliff.
 

Aucune Raison

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I actually smell copy-pasta, don't you?

And btw, time zones are a huge factor in Santa's travelling. =-P
 
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