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Help/Support ► So I just cut myself



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Vossler

I'll Be His Successor
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Is this is over a girl...

Dude, I don't care how much you loved her, you are 18, your life has just started god willing.

Move on.
In a sense, but I was pretty much over her, till she told me she was dating. I had a very particular routine(that was working) on getting over her. I was just shutting her off, she wanted to be friends, and I couldn't handle it. So I just stopped talking to her, then the other day she sent me this huge 3 page text on this amazing guy she met. I told her that I didn't want to hear it, so that didn't make her happy, so she now has to try and remind me everyday what he is doing.
 

Phoenix

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I have thought of it, I guess I need to just get the courage and go do it. I blocked her on facebook. That was a big milestone.

Make no mistake, you will move on. It'll hurt like a motherfucker for a while, no doubt about it, but this pain isn't permanent, so force your brain to believe that.
 

Vossler

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Make no mistake, you will move on. It'll hurt like a motherbonker for a while, no doubt about it, but this pain isn't permanent, so force your brain to believe that.
What do you mean make no mistake? Are you saying that I just need to go off my intention, and it won't be a mistake?
 

Marly

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Make no mistake is just an expression, he's basically saying, there's no doubt you'll move on eventually.
 

Phoenix

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I know, it's annoying to hear you're only 18... but you are. One day you'll be 28. And 38. This won't be on your head. This pain, however much it hurts, is temporary. Believe in this.
 

Vossler

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I know, it's annoying to hear you're only 18... but you are. One day you'll be 28. And 38. This won't be on your head. This pain, however much it hurts, is temporary. Believe in this.

Thanks Pheonix, you are really helpful. This was the first person I thought I actually loved. Whoever said love concers all is full of bullshit. T just want it to go away. I'm just a fucked up human being. That is what I feel like at the moment anyway. I want this to get back on track already.
 

Phoenix

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I understand. And believe me, you will love again, and you will be hurt again. It's the nature of it. Sometimes it sucks, it's horrible and you just want to die. But you can't, because the next one might really be the one you were looking for, and then how would you ever find out?

Acknowledge your pain, acknowledge that it's killing you. Cry, scream, punch, break. And then breathe. And then go look at funny youtube videos, or play video games, or talk to friends. The pain won't go away instantly, but you'll feel it less and less as time goes on.
 

LongLiveLife

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Trust me, cutting won't help for long. Everytime you cut yourself that sensation you get is a type of chemical compound produced in the brain that is taken in by a certain cell receptor, every time that cell grabs that chemical its receptor gets smaller and smaller, thus making you need more (aka addiction). /lol look im longlivelife. . . bad time?

Very close! Addiction is due to the internalization of receptors (i.e. the cell sucking the receptor back in), rather than receptors decreasing in size, per se.


Because Marly has more or less covered the neurochemical aspects of cutting -- I could throw in a prolix exposition on the endorphin and serotonin pathways implicated, but I doubt it will change your perspective on the matter -- I'm going to talk about hypovolemic shock. This is when your organs cease to be perfused because your blood volume is depleted. It only takes a loss of 20% (about 1 liter) for you to experience the symptoms, which, in addition to the risk of multiple organ failure, includes severe anxiety from all the adrenaline pumping out of your adrenals and your sympathetic nervous system kicking into high gear. Not going to help your emotional pain now, is it?

Now I assume, save for cutting yourself, you're an intelligent person, and you won't sit there watching 1 liter of blood drain from your wrist and do nothing about it. So let's say you control how much you bleed. You're still losing blood. And what happens when you have chronic bleeding? You lose more red blood cells than your body can replace, and you develop lethargy, fatigue and breathlessness -- symptoms of anemia. Kinda makes the situation worse than before. Not only do you have all the shit that made you cut yourself in the first place, you now also have to deal with this overwhelming sense of perpetual tiredness.

Sooner or later the tiredness compounds and the cutting doesn't quite distract you from your emotional pain like it did when you first started. So you'll decide to go all the way. This time you will enter hypovolemic shock, this time you will severely bonk up every system in your body, maybe even permanently, and this time you might actually cross the threshold and lose consciousness.

Except you won't die. By some stroke of a miracle, someone notices that you've been in the bathroom for over an hour without the sound of running water. They break in to find you sitting in a pool of your own blood, they dial 911, and they'll rush you into an ambulance. When you reach the hospital, you'll be given saline to bump your blood pressure, oxygen to aid your anemia, continuous arterial blood gas monitoring to make sure you don't enter a respiratory acidosis or alkalosis, a blood transfusion once you're found a tissue match, and piles of medical attention. All of which you could have done without. All in all, you've made a doctor's job one patient more difficult than it has to be; diverted medical attention away from where it should have been given -- to people who have genuine, nonself-induced emergencies; and stressed your family and everyone who loves and cares for you beyond all reconciliation.

The worst part is that you'll likely do it again.

Stop the cycle early, face whatever problems you have, and move on. Talk to someone. Anyone. Tell them how you feel. Tell them how you want to feel. Tell them everything. Sometimes just vocalizing your problems is the way to fix them, but more often, the person you tell will say something that resonates with you on such a level that you look at your problems in a new light, with new insight, and you'll leave the past in the past. And move on.

I recommend that you watch this. It's an all-round interesting video about happiness and how we create it, which I feel might benefit you.

YouTube - ‪Dan Gilbert: Why are we happy? Why aren't we happy?‬‏
 

Vossler

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It happen again this morning. I tried to do some tagging instead, cause I had an urge. It was going good for awhile. Then it kept fighting at me, like it did when I was a heavy chain smoker. It got to me and I cut again this morning. These ones bled more too.
 

TheMuffinMan

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Psychological studies show that the majority of people who are genuine cases of cutting (see: not attention) are because of inability to feel emotion, rather than escape from emotion. Legitimate cases of cutting come from the sense that you feel so little, that to be able to feel anything at all is progress

So, the whole "IT DISTRACTS ME FROM ALL THE EMOTIONAL PAIN I FEEL" probably means that you're a hormonal teenager and should just suck it up and stop it.
 

Zen

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Instead of cutting yourself, try exhausting your body by running or working out excessively until you're too tired to even want to lift your hand to injure yourself. Trust me, that sort of pain is much healthier.
 

Tenyas

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Really, instead of telling us about it, find anybody you even remotely trust. Do you have any relatives you can see about this? Perhaps a doctor? Or, if you still go to a school of some sort, a councelor? My grandmother works for a suicide line, and there are many people willing to sit and listen to anything you have to say.

Also, get rid of anything within your proximity that you can use to cut yourself if possible. Keeping away objects that remind you of the temptation can help. Perhaps heading out of the house for a while can help you. Are there any places you can walk to in peace and relax for a while? One thing I find is that if you stay away from enclosed areas you feel a bit better.
 

Reflection

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Psychological studies show that the majority of people who are genuine cases of cutting (see: not attention) are because of inability to feel emotion, rather than escape from emotion. Legitimate cases of cutting come from the sense that you feel so little, that to be able to feel anything at all is progress

So, the whole "IT DISTRACTS ME FROM ALL THE EMOTIONAL PAIN I FEEL" probably means that you're a hormonal teenager and should just suck it up and stop it.

not really helping like
at all

if you're looking into psychological studies, maybe explore how to react to this kind of situation, instead of making assumptions and spamming my facebook statuses!
 

Bear

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Maybe they'll break up soon and she'll move on to her next victim.
 

Ehres

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Vossler, you can stop this. I went through eight - nine years of horrible shit and used to self-harm a LOT. As a result I'm scarred to bonk and it isn't pretty, but as someone who's been to many dark places and has sought comfort in most things, let me tell you that once you have firm footing, cutting yourself doesn't seem so appealing.

I don't think you really want to do it. I think you just hurt so much at any one point in time and go to hurt yourself.

Psychological studies show that the majority of people who are genuine cases of cutting (see: not attention) are because of inability to feel emotion, rather than escape from emotion. Legitimate cases of cutting come from the sense that you feel so little, that to be able to feel anything at all is progress.

This is true.
 

Vossler

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Really, instead of telling us about it, find anybody you even remotely trust. Do you have any relatives you can see about this? Perhaps a doctor? Or, if you still go to a school of some sort, a councelor? My grandmother works for a suicide line, and there are many people willing to sit and listen to anything you have to say.

Also, get rid of anything within your proximity that you can use to cut yourself if possible. Keeping away objects that remind you of the temptation can help. Perhaps heading out of the house for a while can help you. Are there any places you can walk to in peace and relax for a while? One thing I find is that if you stay away from enclosed areas you feel a bit better.
See that is the thing I don't really have anyone. I have a friend, but he would kick my ass if he knew I would do this. Skar(I probably know you by a different name, but as of right now I don't know who you are.) Also it is hard to get anything out of my reach for temptation, cause everything reminds me of her.
 

Ehres

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I know it is, but you have to learn to do other things. She will occupy your every thought and the only way to escape that is surrounding yourself with people who distract you. Do fun things, hang out and be silly. The pain can hit a fever pitch or you can find other ways of coping. Right now you are making every excuse under the book to not deal with it because it's hard and you're hurting, but it really is the only way you're going to heal.
 

Tenyas

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Tbh, having someone willing to kick your ass about it is better than most anything else, because it shows that they're willing to step in and stop you before you do some serious damage.

Since this was caused by a relationship of that nature, I don't really know how to help you on forgetting her, but I think the best thing to do is start thinking of the fact that you didn't really need her before, right? You likely lived an okay life before you met this girl, so why let her leaving ruin everything about you? You shouldn't let anyone hurt you to the point that you believe you should harm yourself. Because you really don't need to. Okay, it hurts like hell right now and you probably think that holing yourself up and bleeding is better than anything else, but the truth is that you can get past it.

Dude, I'm younger than you and I'm surrounded by people with shitty lives. When you surround yourself with bad things, you feel bad, right? Go tell your one friend and get your ass kicked. It'll hurt for a while, but, guess what? He's likely stopping you from ending up as another broken sob story who was never able to do much with their life because they focused too much on that one glassy hill they had to climb and ignored all the wonderful meadows ahead.
 
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