Help/Support ► so I'm atheist/agnostic now, and

[Lifes.Lover]

It's really great that you finally had the courage to stand up and say what you believe to your mother, who sounds like she's one of those Super-Believers!

I've never had to deal with that, to be honest. I'm an atheist myself, only because I don't feel the need to believe in any religion. What's the point? It's only there to give balm to a wounded soul, and to believe that there's something better out there than our meaningless lives going to and from work every day.

But, even though my mother is a Baptist, and my dad is 'who gives a fuck?!', I've never really had to deal with religion growing up. My mother isn't a true 'practicing' believer, and she's very accepting of what her children believe, want, and are. Hell, if I told her that I was a lesbian, she would probably say 'what a waste, but do want you want, honey'.

I know that it hurts her, that I truly do not believe in God, or any higher entity, because she feels that I won't go to Heaven when I die, and that I won't be there with her. I feel bad that she feels this way, because I don't even believe in an afterlife, but I'm very glad that she still accepts what I believe.

I am very lucky, this I know.

Hopefully, your mother will truly come to understand that you don't need religion in your life to feel fulfilled, and that you are still her child.

Also, even though I'm not religious, I still celebrate Christmas. I don't celebrate it as the birthday of Christ, especially considering that he wasn't born on the 25th of Decemeber, but as a holiday to celebrate all of the things that we are given. Sort of a... Thanksgiving, but not really giving thanks. I consider it a time for family, and traditions, and to actually love being near one another. Even if you don't believe in God, or religion, then you can still celebrate the holiday, for what I think is its true purpose, beyond being his 'birthday'. Not that the presents really matter, in the long run.

 

[Dogenzaka]

You can't be Atheist and Agnostic lol.

What's the point? It's only there to give balm to a wounded soul, and to believe that there's something better out there than our meaningless lives going to and from work every day.

K no one asked for a philosophical view on religion buuuuuuuuut,
Christianity isn't for the "bawwww weak and wounded", it takes a great deal of strength to believe in something when people all around you want to tear you down.
And if you certainly want to believe that the cruel irony to living is dying with nothing but a numbered, expendable purpose, then by all means go ahead. lol.

My mom through a motherfucking hissy fit at me when i told her that i was an atheist and that it had been a couple years since i had believed in god and then i couldn't fight off laughing, even though nothing was funny, when she started yelling and preaching at me with my dad. I told them to suck it up and i walked out, because i don't take shit from my parents about my beliefs. Religion sucks in my opinion, but that's not why i'm an atheist. Good for you, coming out about that to your mom.

Wow, good thing I'm not religious then.
Though, I don't think you understand what it means to your mother. To your mother, it means you are going to hell, and she will be eternally separated from her child. She's not upset because she's stupid or stubborn, she's upset because she fears for her son.

Just thought I'd say that.

 

[▽]

My country is more tolerant (but the christian parties are starting to look totalitarian and screw everything up), so i haven't been through the same thing. Hope that your parents will stop being stubborn.

 

[Dogenzaka]

My country is more tolerant (but the christian parties are starting to look totalitarian and screw everything up), so i haven't been through the same thing. Hope that your parents will stop being stubborn.

Uhh...how are they being stubborn? Like they don't believe their child has gone atheist or agnostic or what?

 

[MasterHearts7762]

my mom took it better than I thought. She's only very disappointed when I thought breaking the news would result in my flight from my house.

Upon hearing this, my mother asked me what she did wrong. Because, you know, I became atheist to punish her. /sarcasm

later, as i expected, she played the christmas card on me. She told me that since I didn't believe in Jesus anymore, I wouldn't get any presents. because Jesus leaves the presents under the tree, not santa my parents. /more sarcasm

She later played the guilt card on me, telling me that I should believe in the (virgin) mary, and jesus when I've heard nothing but good things about them.

Thing is, as I get closer to being an adult, I feel that I've been Catholic all this time because I felt i HAD to, not because I wanted to. Not to mention that the Church as an organization has had some shady dealings.

despite being an atheist, I'm willing to accept that there's a higher power. I'm just doubtful that there is one.

p.s. if you're wondering why I said agnostic in the thread title, it was a (futile) effort to soften up the news to my mother.

Meh, well at least you're being honest about what you feel. Good for you, having the courage to actually follow what you believe. And as a proud and strong Christian, i'd like to say that's exactly what God wants us to do.

 

[▽]

Uhh...how are they being stubborn? Like they don't believe their child has gone atheist or agnostic or what?

Because they don't accept it, that's just stubborn.

 

[Lifes.Lover]

I wasn't trying to go into a true religious discussion, or anything of that sort. And I most certainly wasn't trying to force on others my reasons for not believing. It was more of... my reason for not believing, though I realize that I probably shouldn't have added it here. Those sort of things go under the religious discussions. So sorry.

 

[Dogenzaka]

And as a proud and strong Christian, i'd like to say that's exactly what God wants us to do.

I'd like to know where you get the merit to say God wants people to have the courage to follow what they believe, even if it's atheism? lol

Because they don't accept it, that's just stubborn.

Uh no. People don't accept different things for different reasons. I'm sure you wouldn't accept another guy fondling your balls and sucking on your nipples (well, you might). Does that make you stubborn for not being okay with that?

God forbid certain people have standards or differences about different things. I mean, that doesn't make them a stubborn person.

 

[Trag]

There's a difference about being stubborn about someone's beliefs and being stubborn about not wanting to commit homosexual acts when you don't want to.

 

[Dogenzaka]

There's a difference about being stubborn about someone's beliefs and being stubborn about not wanting to commit homosexual acts when you don't want to.

They're both beliefs.
I wouldn't call you stubborn for not wanting to participate in homosexual acts.
I wouldn't call the mother stubborn for not wanting her son to be atheist.

They're just beliefs you agree or disagree with :v at least that's the way I see it. Whatever.

 

[▽]

Wait, you compare sexual abuse to a difference in opinion, how clouded is your view?

 

[Dogenzaka]

Wait, you compare sexual abuse

How is what I said abuse?

to a difference in opinion, how clouded is your view?

Maybe it was a dumb example, but it illustrates my point.
You can't call someone stubborn simply because they disagree with something.

 

[▽]

You clearly described abuse, and it is stubborn. Instead of converting and indoctrination they could just accept it and focus on their own lives.

 

[Nyangoro]

While I don't deny that what Dogenzaka said may have come out wrong, I'm sure that he was merely referring to Homosexuality vs Heterosexuality as a comparison to Agnosticism/Atheism vs Christianity/Theism (not some kind of sexual abuse). He is merely saying that different beliefs result among different people (for a large variety of reasons).

and it is stubborn. Instead of converting and indoctrination they could just accept it and focus on their own lives.

I truly don't think it's a terrible thing to try to convince someone of what you believe (although, I'm not a fan of indoctrination, as that usually brings in EVERY aspect of the culture from the particular country/people group). I mean, I suppose you could go with the whole "they shouldn't be dogmatic" route; but really, if they weren't dogmatic about their beliefs, then what is the point of having those beliefs in the first place?

 

[▽]

That is something i can't see in his description, even while trying to.

 

[Nyangoro]

That is something i can't see in his description, even while trying to.

As I said, it came out wrong, but the fact that he says that you could or could not like that is implying (based on what he said after his "example") that it wouldn't make you stubborn either way.

 

[▽]

True, having a different opinion isn't stubborn, forcing others that opinion is, even when they show no intent to change it, stubborn.

 

[Joy]

You can't be Atheist and Agnostic lol.

K no one asked for a philosophical view on religion buuuuuuuuut,
Christianity isn't for the "bawwww weak and wounded", it takes a great deal of strength to believe in something when people all around you want to tear you down.
And if you certainly want to believe that the cruel irony to living is dying with nothing but a numbered, expendable purpose, then by all means go ahead. lol.



Wow, good thing I'm not religious then.
Though, I don't think you understand what it means to your mother. To your mother, it means you are going to hell, and she will be eternally separated from her child. She's not upset because she's stupid or stubborn, she's upset because she fears for her son.

Just thought I'd say that.

You do realize that most christians don't even think about this, right? Please don't tell me you're that ignorant to believe they'l actually think like that.

 

[Dogenzaka]

You clearly described abuse, and it is stubborn.

You're not even worth talking to if you think nipple-sucking and ball-fondling is abusive. lol!

While I don't deny that what Dogenzaka said may have come out wrong, I'm sure that he was merely referring to Homosexuality vs Heterosexuality as a comparison to Agnosticism/Atheism vs Christianity/Theism (not some kind of sexual abuse). He is merely saying that different beliefs result among different people (for a large variety of reasons).

Pretty much.
I'm not stubborn for not wanting to kiss a guy; I don't think the woman is stubborn because she doesn't want her son to be atheist. We all have wants/dislikes agree/disagree on things. To say she's stubborn because she disagrees with her son's choice is not something I agree with.

Sorry if it came out..err..wrong.

Instead of converting and indoctrination they could just accept it and focus on their own lives.

Well she has to accept it one way or another, of course.
Regardless, what you don't understand is that one of the callings from God as a Christian is to witness to the unbeliever, and when a Christian sees that their family member is not saved, to THEM they see that that person is going to be in eternal separation from them and God, which is very painful to think of.

So obviously, I don't think you understand that it's not necessarily about being right or wrong or accepting or whatever for the mother, it's the idea that her son won't be with her after she dies.

if they weren't dogmatic about their beliefs, then what is the point of having those beliefs in the first place?

This, and if nobody was dogmatic about their beliefs/disbeliefs, people would never change.

You do realize that most christians don't even think about this, right? Please don't tell me you're that ignorant to believe they'l actually think like that.

Think like what?
Like I say her mother must be thinking right now?
Sorry, but considering I hang around Christians who actually read the Bible and know their stuff, and have a lot of family members who are not Christian, I can safely assume that Christian parents fear for their children who are not saved.

Otherwise, what do you mean?

 

[Angel]

My mom either forgot about the Christmas ban, or realized it wouldn't work.

Today at dinner I was whining about a hard-to-find book, and my Mom suggested that I ask for it for Christmas.

I didn't ask, since I didn't want to look the gift horse in the mouth.