• Hello everybody! We have tons of new awards for the new year that can be requested through our Awards System thanks to Antifa Lockhart! Some are limited-time awards so go claim them before they are gone forever...

    CLICK HERE FOR AWARDS

song i wrote



REGISTER TO REMOVE ADS
Status
Not open for further replies.

IF_IL_II_IP

killer card thrower
Joined
Sep 21, 2005
Messages
1,973
Age
33
Location
in place of broken hearts and shattered dreams...
k so at the moment i dont have a beat so its more of a poem but once i get a beat it'll be a song. and its not completely finished yet so i'm still working on it

=========================================================
Loving You More Then You’ll Know​

That smile, that beautiful smile on your face.
Every time you look at me with that smile my heart quickens its pace.
Every time I look into those deep, knowing eyes
I see barriers against anyone who tries to get close
Weaken those defences and let me get closer to you.
What could happen? Take a risk, see what happens if do.

Why do you shy away from the people who really want to get close?
Why don’t you let me in even though you know you’re the one I chose?
I want to be with you. Can’t you see that?
I’ve made it obvious to the world I would even wear your name on my hat.
The feeling I get when I’m holding you here in my arms.
I would stay here forever to protect you from any type of harm

I sit here looking at you, wondering when will I get my chance?
Wondering when I can hold those small soft hands
I’ll sit here waiting as long as it takes
To get you here in my strong eternal embrace
When we grew apart and didn’t talk, I thought our friendship would crumble
Every time I tried to talk to you my words would falter and stumble

I remembered we the promise we made: no matter what happens between us We’ll always stay friends,
And I realized I had to keep that promise till the end
I was truly afraid that our friendship would end
So I summed up the courage to talk to you again,
Please don’t let it be too late,
I hope how long I took wasn’t the extent of your wait

There’s nowhere else I’d rather be then by your side,
There’s no reason to run, no reason to hide,
Will you let me in, will you let me close?
Everyday I’d love to just give you a rose,
I can’t stop looking at you, I can’t stop staring,
I can’t stop looking at you, I can’t stop wondering,
Will I ever be with her? Will she ever be mine?
I guess I can only be patient and stand the test of time

Sometimes the time will put out the fire in me that was lit,
But I know that in the end everything will be worth it,
When I finally have you here in my arms,
Hugging you tightly, keeping you warm,
Kissing you softly, with no other care,
Then being by your side and always being there,
Holding your hand, holding it tight,
I’ll never let go, I’ll make sure with all of my might

I’ll always be there, wherever you are
Watching over you like every single star,
Under the moon I’ll tell you I love you and kiss you goodnight,
I’ll tell you I’ll see you at the first crack of light
 
Last edited:

IF_IL_II_IP

killer card thrower
Joined
Sep 21, 2005
Messages
1,973
Age
33
Location
in place of broken hearts and shattered dreams...
Glad you're getting responses there Oli!
thankies bridge =D well i g2g bye peoples thanks for the comments

===============EDIT===========
back
It's pretty i like it a lot <3 It sounds like you should be singing it outside of a girl's window. teehee how cute
lol not exactly how i was planning to serenade her but thats interesting
 
Last edited:

IF_IL_II_IP

killer card thrower
Joined
Sep 21, 2005
Messages
1,973
Age
33
Location
in place of broken hearts and shattered dreams...
i added some more

====================================

What if it’s not meant to be?
Then I’ll never have you here with me,
Just the thought of us never being together,
It’ll break my heart and never mend, ever,
Just the thoughts, the feelings, going through my mind,
The thought that I’ll never be yours and you’ll never be mine,

I’ll never get to hold you here,
It just brings to my eye, a tear,
I’ll never kiss you, or hold those hands,
It’ll mean there was never a way, never a chance,
Then everything I’m doing now is for nothing,
But I can’t, I won’t, I’ll never stop fighting,
 

var1ables

Play hard, go pro.
Joined
Dec 14, 2004
Messages
5,854
Awards
3
Age
32
Location
Chillin' in mid
I have one problem with it, the rhyme sceme is alittle off, and you force some rhymes, besides that it's good.
 

IF_IL_II_IP

killer card thrower
Joined
Sep 21, 2005
Messages
1,973
Age
33
Location
in place of broken hearts and shattered dreams...
edited the first 2 lines of the last paragraph i posted and i added another paragraph

===========================================

I’ll never get to hold you here in my arms
I’ll never get to hold you or keep you warm
I’ll never kiss you, or hold those hands,
It’ll mean there was never a way, never a chance,
Then everything I’m doing now is for nothing,
But I can’t, I won’t, I’ll never stop fighting,

So I’ll ask you this question just one last time
I want to be yours, but do you want to be mine?
Can I have a straight answer? That’s all I ask,
A yes or a no, I know it’s no easy task,
But no matter the outcome, I know it’s for best,
Because you’ll be happy and that’s what I want above the rest,
So answer my question and answer it true
No matter what happens I want you to know that I love you
 

marshallmathers

New member
Joined
Oct 4, 2004
Messages
286
Location
El paso, Texas
uhhhhh alright i guess.....good enough to be a poem, but it wouldn't work as as song, the lyrics are too simple..overused phrases you'll find on every other weak "love" song...
 

billabong

ain't yo granny's
Joined
Aug 21, 2004
Messages
949
Website
facebook.com
I think that when you say "a song I wrote," you should record it and post. Otherwise, it should go in the Literature section and be considered a poem.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top