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Fanfiction ► Tale of Oblivion



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Chaosmax

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CH.16: DOUBLE TEAM PART 1

Cloud quickly ran at Mickey with bursting speed, he grabbed the king and tossed him into the wall. Leon parried his gunblade at Neo, but quickly overpowered him and forced him to his knees. A shot of pain went up through him as Leon used a thunder spell, he cried out in pain. Neo jumped back and fired multiple light bullets, he forced Leon down.

Suddenly Cloud came behind him and swung his blade at Neo’s neck, Mickey quickly came to the rescue and block the fatal blow, he then used his pearl attack and Cloud went crashing through the wall. The two breathed heavily.

“This isn’t going to work, they’re too powerful” Neo said gasping for air. Mickey shook his head. “We have to try” they sighed and readied themselves. Cloud sprung out first through the air and slammed his blade into the ground, Neo and Mickey were forced back, then Leon popped behind them knocked hem high into the air.

Neo fired a huge light wave and sent them crashing into the ground; Mickey then flipped over Cloud and knock him under his feet. Leon summoned a huge amount of darkness and fired a dark sphere at Neo, he blocked the blow and the two lunged at each other. Leon raised his blade high into the high and slashed at him, Neo then dodged the attack and jabbed him in the chest; as soon as he jabbed Leon in the chest he fired a huge light bullet and knocked him unconscious.

Mickey ran over to Neo, the two looked at their defeated opponents; Marcus snickered as he watched atop of a house still intact.

“Pathetic, well maybe they just need something extra” He muttered, he summoned a dark sphere in his right hand and sent it flying at them, the orb split in two and went into Leon and Cloud. They shook furiously; Neo and Mickey gasped at their new enemy, his hair turned silver, his eyes burst golden, and he carried the gunblade in his left hand and the buster sword in the right. He frowned at them, his eyes blazed with anger; Marcus smiled.

Try beating them now that they’re combined Neo he thought.
 

Reverie

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I'm quite behind on chapters, but you're doing a nice job. The only problem I really have is the grammar. Like for example, in Chapter 14:

“Leon don’t do this we’re your friends” Mickey pleaded, he shook his head. is actually suppossed to be written as “Leon, don’t do this we’re your friends” Mickey pleaded; he shook his head.

Watch where you put the commas. Some of them need to be replaced with semi-colons.
 

Aria

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Cuaght up! I'm just confused about who combined though, was it cloud and leon?
 

Ventus Air-Man

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I like it so far. But, the only problem I have is your grammar:

Originally Posted by Chaosmax
“This isn’t going to work, they’re too powerful” Neo said gasping for air. Mickey shook his head. “We have to try” they sighed and readied themselves. Cloud sprung out first through the air and slammed his blade into the ground, Neo and Mickey were forced back, then Leon popped behind them knocked hem high into the air.

"This isn't going to work; they're too powerful," Neo said, gasping for air. Mickey shook his head. "We have to try." They sighed and readied themselves. Cloud sprung out first through the air and slammed his blade into the ground. Neo and Mickey were forced back. Then, Leon popped behind them, knocking them high into the air.

(I highlighted in bold what I fixed.)
 

Chaosmax

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I'm sorry for all of you who were reading my story to do this 2....I won't be able to continue due 2 my cp having virus problems. So that was the last chapter...and this is my final sign on, goodbye every1 :(
 

Aria

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I'm sorry for all of you who were reading my story to do this 2....I won't be able to continue due 2 my cp having virus problems. So that was the last chapter...and this is my final sign on, goodbye every1 :(

... you're not pulling a Zero on us are you? ;)

if you're not then :(((((((((((((((((((((( i hope your cp gets better
 

Chaosmax

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Yay good news bad news moment, the good news is my cp is a little bit better and now I can get on again....bad news...it won't let me access Microsoft Word so I can't type up new chapters for now :/
 

Chaosmax

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Sorry for the double post, just wanted to let you all know that my word program is finally back up and new chapterz shall come this weekend^_^
 

Chaosmax

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Sorry for the triple post just putting up the new chapter(kind of weak but it'll get better).

CH.16: DOUBLE TEAM PART 2

Anger ablaze within Dark Cleon’s eyes, due to the darkness and their fusion; their appearance had changed drastically. He now was 6 foot with long sliver hair barely past his shoulders, his eyes were gold, and he carried the buster sword in his right hand with the gunblade in his left. His outfit was a dark armor with a lion's head on the right shoulder.

They readied there selves as their new opponent charged at them. With bursting speed he swung the buster sword at Neo knocking him hard through the wall; Mickey managed to dodge his next attack and stabbed him in his chest. “That tickles” he muttered and grabbed Mickey by the throat and slamming him hard into the ground. Neo ran out rescued Mickey from a fatal blow. Light tipped from his keyblade as he shot multiple bullets of light at him.

Dark Cleon summoned a dark shield and blocked the attacks. After Mickey recovered, they attacked simultaneously and forced him back against the wall. They slashed forward but he dodged and knocked them hard in the stomach forcing them both to their knees.

Dark Cleon knocked Neo into the air and rapidly fired dark/fire bullets from his blades then he teleported behind him and knocked him back unto the ground knocking him unconscious.

Mickey ran to him “Cure” he shouted, but he remained unconscious. Marcus laughed darkly as Mickey readied himself for his biggest battle yet.

I have to hold him off until he wakes up mickey thought as the two warriors lunged at each other.
 
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Dawn Rebirth

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Sorry I didn't notice this sooner, that tickles? He's that powerful? I think for epic or touching sequences there should be a music to play through one's head while reading that part of the story and I think Terra's theme would be best suited for this, keep going with the story Max.
 

Aria

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Yay update!!! I think you should make the chapters longer though, there was really no reason to split the chapter up into two parts.
 

Chaosmax

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Moved kind of fast with this one :/

CH.16: DOUBLE TEAM PART 3

Cleon lunged at Mickey with great speed forcing him to the ground. Mickey recovered and lunged at his chest but it only tickled him once again. Marcus laughed on top of the rooftops.

“This is just rich, princess got knocked out and now little Mickey is left alone against that beast.” He chuckled at the horrific sight. Mickey quickly flipped over him and attacked his back this time Cleon felt the attack and lunged at Mickey.

He flipped backwards and a tip of light shone on his blade, figures began to form around him and two Mickey clones formed; Marcus frowned.

“Didn’t know I could do this did ya?” Mickey said harassing Dark Cleon, he growled and dashed towards him. Mickey and the clones began to shine brightly as they dashed at a fearsome speed towards Cleon knocking him hard into the air. “Now delta formation” Mickey commanded as they circled around Cleon. They floated in mid-air as a line of light connected them and Cleon was frozen in it. He struggled but there was no escape. Marcus had enough of this and got up, but was quickly stopped in his tracks.

“No where do you think you’re going?” He turned around to see a conscious Neo standing with his keyblade ready. Marcus also summoned his keyblade as the two fired a beam of light and darkness at each other. The beams erupted ferocious power and suddenly time stopped. Neo glared at Marcus thinking it was one of his tricks but even he didn’t command such power.

He gazed around and even Mickey and Cleon were frozen in the air, Neo turned to see a man wielding a wand in his right hand. He was black with silver hair, white eyes, and wore a black jacket with the yin-yang symbol on the back, white shirt underneath, and black pants. He also had black and white sneakers.

“Are you ready to face your darkness young wielder?” He questioned, Neo frowned.

“My darkness, what are you talking about?” The mystery man pointed at Marcus but Neo was still puzzled.

“The day when you finally confront your darkness is both far and very near. Whoever wins the battle shall change the balance forever.” The man then faded away before Neo could ask something else.

Just who are you Neo pondered
_________________

Fight shall conclude next chapter
 
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Chaosmax

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I know I zoomed by with this one :/ oh well enjoy.

CH.17: FAREWELL

Neo wondered what the mystery man meant when he had to face his darkness but as time flowed again so did the battle. Marcus leaped high into the air and rained down dark energy lances at Neo, he pointed his keyblade at the lances and a light shield formed and blocked the attack. Marcus wasn’t giving him a second he spun his keyblade using his keychain and threw it at Neo barely dodging it.

“Come on is that all you got?” Neo questioned smiling, Marcus frowned and a dark aurora formed around him. His eyes flared gold as he slammed his keyblade into the ground causing heartless to appear around Neo, he quickly fired light bullets at them then used his light whip and stole Marcus’s keyblade from his hands. He danced around with the two keyblades quickly slashing at the heartless.

Marcus let out an angry sigh and put forth his hand calling to his keyblade. The blade responded and reappeared within his left hand. He pointed it at the sky and the dark clouds somehow grew darker, they were now within pure darkness and Neo could barely see; the only thing he saw was Mickey still floating in the air with dark Cleon and Marcus’s cold eyes. He swung around his blade aiming for Marcus’s chest but then he vanished.

“Why did you stop time? What did you tell him?”

“I told him the future you both hold. One cannot live without the other for the day will come when you both shall be whole once again and when that time comes the balance of the worlds may pay the price for it.”

Marcus hesitated “How do I know you didn’t tell him who I truly am?” The man let out a chuckle “He shall find out one way or another”
Neo pointed his keyblade at the sky sending a powerful beam of light into the clouds, the wind whistled, the moon hung over the destroyed town, revealing light once again but Marcus was no longer there, he quickly turned his attention back to Dark Cleon.

He aimed at his chest and fired a combined elemental attack knocking him down to the ground; Mickey also fell but Neo caught him. Dark Cleon recovered outraged and went berserk. His hair now showed black streaks in it and his eyes ablaze black. He grabbed his falling blade and lunged at the two.

Neo ducked from the swing and jabbed his keyblade into Cleon’s chest at the moment it hit his chest the blade fired a powerful beam of light sending Cleon down for the count. Cleon separated back into Cloud and Leon as they lay on the ground. Cloud coughed up blood as his suit went red, Leon remained silent.

“Great job kid you did the right thing” Cloud muttered as he coughed some more, Neo used a cure spell but it was ineffective. Cloud smiled for once and shook his head. “No use, it’s over. You better go the world is going to destroy itself any moment now”

The ground shook wildly and lava spurted around the town, Leon became engulfed in flames and cloud as well, Mickey now awoke put out the flames with magic. The world shook even more violently and the town’s buildings began to crumble. Neo grabbed Leon and Cloud as Mickey prepared the gummi ship.

___________

The sun set within the balance, winds quietly swept over the land. Yuffie, Tiffa, and the other gazed at the gravestones wishing it were a bad dream. Mickey let out tears and fell to his knees at the gravestones while Neo tried his hardest to hold back his tears. Memories flooded into his head.

You now hold the key to the world’s survival

The keyblade chose you for a reason kid; you’re the hero that will save us all

Thank you for all of what you’ve done. I promise to avenge your deaths and stop the Dark Ones at any cost!
Neo thought. He walked to the gravestone and placed the blades on them, he bowed his head, put his hands together for prayer and finally let out the tears.

Marcus, how could you?
 
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