xD Thanks for the comments everyone!!
And I am glad to inform you, I managed to have the third chapter finished already. And I have made it extra long this time, for your reading pleasure! Behold!
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We had left off, where the princess and the young pr0n writer just escaped a near death, at the hands of Square Ninja...
Trying to make sure The Ninja would not follow them, the lovely princess and the young pr0n writer ran deep into the woods, deeper and deeper, until there was no sign of life left behind them.
"I think we’ve lost them." the young man said, while trying to catch breath. His life had always been this easy, he just sat in his boat all day, writing his pr0n. And now he was suddenly being hunted by the royal guards, and one of evil King Kira’s loyal apprentices, The Ninja. For certain he considered himself doomed. He could already see himself on the executioner’s stand.
"What to do, what to do?" the young man sighed. ‘I don’t have any more pr0n to defend myself with, and The Ninja is most likely still around my shack. We are for sure doomed if the evil King Kira sends more guards after us!’
"Would you stop complaining and get me something to drink? I am thirsty, and I have just broken a nail. Prove your worth as a man, and take care of me like a gentleman should." the princess arrogantly commented, as she sat down on a pile of leafs and pondered about how she could patch up her poor broken nail.
"A broken nail?" the young man replied. "We have just escaped a near death at the hands of evil King Kira’s bloodhounds, and you dare to fret about your nail?"
"I’ll have you know that it cost a fortune to maintain this beautiful set of nails, we cannot let all that go to waste."
Just when the young man was about to reply to the young girl’s infuriating comment, he heard a noise in the bushes.
"Who goes there??!" The young man exclaimed. Readying his fists for another battle, he was prepared to fight to the death. He still had so much he wanted to achieve in his life, so many pr0n stories to write. Surely, he was not going to give it all up easily.
"Who goes there?!!" He yelled once more. At that, the noise came closer, and closer. The lovely princess clung to the young man’s legs as if her life depended on it. Which it did, again.
And suddenly, a face popped out of the bushes, right in front of the princess’ face. She shrieked loudly, and lashed out at the poor creature with her broken nail.
The creature fell back on his tiny bum, and desperately attempted to defend himself with his tail.
"A... monkey?" The young man said, surprised as he was, and lowered his fists. As soon as the monkey saw that he had no reason to be afraid, he quickly climbed up into one of the trees, and smacked both the lovely princess and the young man in the face with his tail.
"What the-" the young man said, as he lashed out and tried to grab the monkey’s tail, however to no avail.
"Who are you, oh malevolent creature?!" the princess yelled. "Get down from there! Apologize to your nation’s ruler right this instant!"
The monkey lowered himself by his tail, stuck out his tongue, and quickly ran up the tree again to avoid being caught by the furious princess and the young pr0n writer.
Sitting on a branch, he introduced himself.
"I, ish the monkey, Master of the Woods!! Skilled and deadly, I ish!"
"O RLY?!" the young man said, still frustrated by the monkey’s mockery.
"YA RLY!” the monkey replied "but joo can call me, monkee."
"What ish joo doing here in these woods, I ask?" the monkey asked the couple, and came down from his tree.
"What is it to you, creature?" the young man replied.
"IT ISH TO ME BECAUSE!" the monkey angrily shrieked while his head turned red, shaking his little fists.
"Oh fine!"
The young pr0n writer started explaining to the monkey how he was minding his own business one day, writing his pr0n, and suddenly the princess crashed through his boat, and how they were pursued by Square Ninja, and the royal guards ever since.
Then, the monkey explained to the two that they were in the same boat. For a long time ago, evil King Kira had destroyed monkee’s village, in an attempt to rid this land of monkee’s people. The people of Monkopolis frustrated him, angered him, for the monkeys were evidently smarter than evil King Kira. Hence, the evil King Kira had send out another one of his loyal servants, one perhaps even more powerful than The Ninja. A certain bird, which could destroy everything in its path with sacred flames. Monkee was certain he would run into him again soon.
Thus, when monkee heard that it was evil King Kira who was after the princess and the young pr0n writer, he insisted that he’d come along, for he had a score to settle with evil King Kira himself, and King Kira’s pet bird.
"I come with joo, yesh?" the monkey asked and flipped around a branch using its tale. The young man stood up, ready to continue his journey to wherever fate might take him this day.
"No." the young man replied. "I have a feeling our journey back to the castle will get much more dangerous, and you’d only be a burden to us."
At this, the monkey again started shaking his fists, and shrieked;
"I COME WIT JOO YESH!!"
The young man, exhausted as he was from the great escape, didn’t feel like arguing any further.
"Do as you like."
The monkey happily danced around on his branch, grabbed some fruits from the tree, and whacked them at the princess and the young man.
The princess stopped fiddling her nail, and looked up.
"What do you think you’re doing!?"
"Eat, make joo strong yesh?" the monkey replied. The young man picked up some of the fruits, and put them in his pocket. He ate one of them, and gave one to the princess, after which the young pr0n writer reached out his hand to the princess, to get her to stand up.
When she held his hand and stood up, and looked into his eyes, the young pr0n writer felt something he had never felt before. Whether the lovely princess was the cause of it, the rotten fruit that his stomach tried to digest, or the pile of animal faeces he just stepped in, he could not make out, but it was truly something amazing.
The monkey jumped on top of the young man’s head, bent, grabbed his face and stared right into it.
"What ish joo name?"
"Yes" the princess said "What
is your name?"
At that, the young man remained silent for several seconds.
"My name is… Jonathananian Ryukojee Prondanamanias. But my friends call me; Ryuko."
At that, the lovely princess didn’t say a word.
"Shtoopid name." the monkey said.
"Oh hush." Ryuko wiped the dust off of his pants, and looked around.
"Where shall we go? We’re completely lost!"
The monkey swiftly climbed up into a tree, and after a couple of seconds, came crawling down as easily as he went up.
"This way yesh? Me know the woods like outside in!"
"… why obviously." the young man sarcastically replied.
The young man and the lovely princess stared at the monkey. The monkey’s awkward language and peculiar behaviour were quite new to them. Neither of them had seen such peculiar behaviour ever since the last time evil King Kira his favorite “Ban Jesus!” boxer shorts flew off the roof while he was hanging them to dry. Boy, was evil King Kira infuriated that day.
As the monkey hopped from tree to tree, in a direction unknown to either the princess or the young pr0n writer, they followed the monkey. Having faith in the monkey’s tale and his knowledge of the woods, they were certain he would bring them to evil King Kira.
In the meanwhile, as they were walking, the lovely princess explained to the young pr0n writer that she had been locked up for many days, and that she was the lost heir to the throne that everyone had been looking for, as she had been lost.
The young man had trouble believing any of the young princess’ stories. A lost heir; the mysterious deaths of her parents; the pink dress she got off a sale. He never had to do with any of these complicated matters, his life used to be ever so simple. All he knew for sure at this point, was that the evil King Kira was after him, and that he would be hunted down, if he did not stop the evil King.
All of a sudden, while the lovely princess was still ranting on to the young pr0n writer about hundreds of trivial matters, the monkey came rushing back, his face as pale as death.
"Go back go back!"
"What, why? What’s going on?" The young man and the princess asked surprised.
"GO BACK NOW YESH!!" The monkey shrieked once more, overpowered by both rage, and fear of whatever it was that he had seen. He clung onto the young man’s leg, shaking, seeking some sort of protection.
"What the- get off! Let go of my leg!" the young man yelled.
However, before the young man had the chance to struggle with the monkey even more, he got interrupted by a loud roar he had never heard before. Not even old grandfather’s snoring during the night, echoing against grandmother’s broad back, had ever made this kind of noise.
As both the young princess and the young pr0n writer looked up, they saw a great creature overshadowing them. Truly fearsome it was, it had great wings, and was completely covered in bright flames. And by god, it flew! It was hovering high above them, spitting fire in all sorts of directions. The young princess pointed upwards. "Look!"
They could see how the great creature was not even focusing on the fellowship beneath him. Instead, it seemed too occupied with flaming several little innocent birds, who all had dared to make one Christian topic too many. Inexperienced and innocent they were, no chance they had, in standing up to the great creature.
"No..." the young man whispered. "This cannot be…"
"IT CAN SO!" the monkey replied, still clinging to Ryuko’s leg for his life.
"Is that… The Phoenix?" The young man commented, and right at that moment, upon hearing its name, the Phoenix looked down, and noticed the three creatures beneath him. Swiftly, it dived down, making a direct attack. Nothing could stop the fearsome creature, and nothing could keep the threesome from utter obliteration…
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The great and fearsome Phoenix has discovered our favorite fellowship!
Will this be the end of our heroes?
Will the little monkey ever be able to wiggle its tail again?
Will the Phoenix send our friends into oblivion?
Will the lovely princess ever get her nail fixed?
Find out, in the next revelating chapter of:
Coming soon!
