Help/Support ► The total agony of being in love

[Marly]

Oh KHInsider how I have missed your profundity. Help me, if you can.

Now, like all great stories, or problems, or anything of that sort, mine is one of love.

His name is Taylor and it was his eyes that did me in. Like beautiful polished mahogany they are. Deep, and fathomless, full of emotion, like a window to him and when you lock eyes with him, you are immersed. <3

No, but seriously, his name is Taylor and I hate him, I hate him because he is gorgeous, and because he is so sweet and nice and I can never have him. ;~;

He started at my place of work about two months ago, and instantly I knew I would spend far too much of my waking thoughts on him, because I just swoon and lust and pine like that. Immediately upon his hire I sent out my trusty coworkers to do my snooping.

Yes he had a boyfriend. Naturally, isn't that always the way? But hope still remained, said boyfriend lived in Arkansas, which is more bum-diddlying-egypty than Kentucky, so I was a little excited. Alas, after further prying I come to find out he is moving to LA next month (how freaking fabulous).

I found this out about a month or so ago and I knew the consequences behind getting to know such a person and knowing that he would soon be gone. And at first I was good on it, I kept my distance, I reminded myself that to get too involved would only leave me hurt and much sooner than I would hope.

However I got to know mister Taylor and come to find out, we were much more terrifyingly compatible than I ever could of dreamed. People at work scoff at me when I tell them that there's something between him and I, cause they know how easily I fall head over heels. Not to mention they wouldn't want to believe it because everyone there wants Taylor--though who can blame them?

Admittedly, yes, I do fall fast and hard for lots of people, but I know this is different, I have more confidence than I have ever had, and I take note of how we interact and I just know that if I'm feeling something this strong, then surely there must be some reciprocation right? This is different goddammit no matter how much people around me want to say otherwise.

I feel fairly certain he has some feelings for me, just the way we look into each other's eyes when we talk, and he always seems to be incredibly close to me. For example, I will be checking out the work schedule and he will come up behind me and kind look over my shoulder, but he'll all be up in my personal space and shit. Obviously I welcome it because he looks and smells so good. But no one has ever just meandered up to me and been that close to me like that so I'm convinced it just some part of flirting or sign that he's attracted to me, is this a silly thought?

So yea, I've reasoned--and this is where I will ask for your words, whether I would want to hear them or not--that I should just toss down the walls and let my emotions and feelings simmer in the sweet bitterness of unrequited love because I only have him for a month, I think I can prepare myself for his departure, I mean, I must for my own emotional stability. Is this too dangerous for me? I've pretty much just postponed bothering to get to know any other prospects because Taylor is just constantly on my mind. But is that alright? I know nothing will come of Taylor and I, but, I just want to enjoy the time I have with him. And I still tell myself that I will be okay when he leaves, but am I lying to myself?

I've kind of been just telling myself that yes I do really like him and yes him leaving will be incredibly sad, but I think I'll still be alright, my confidence is already climbing steadily just knowing that I could possibly attract someone as beautiful and sweet as him gives me hope for future suitors.

I dunno KHInsider, I just do not know. Console me. . . or something.

 

[Ruran]

Being of troglodyte nature I'm not good at these things but I'll try my best.

The first thing that popped out to me is that you mentioned that you fall hard and fast. I can go the cliche or romanticized route and tell you to go after your man because you need to be honest and all that good stuff, but it may be a matter of infatuation. I don't know you enough to make a certain deduction, but now that we're living in the information age I'd say to abstain from confessing. For now. I assume that you two can still keep in contact via e-mail, phone calls, text, etc so while you won't see each other face-to-face it's not like you'll be out of each others' lives forever.

Perhaps time away from each other is what you need for some clarity. The way you are now you can't sort out your feelings properly and Taylor's presence may be affecting you judgment in a bad way. Wait and after he leaves see if after a while you feel different. Maybe your feelings will simmer or you'll experience the "absence makes the heart grow fonder" phenomena.

Or if he really feels the same way than perhaps he'll confess to you soon enough, he too must realize that your time together is short.

/2 cents

 

[iWin4Prep]

No matter.

Just talk to him or forget it. Best to just forget it and move on. Don't get tied up with the whole moving thing, just have some fun with the other 7.2 billion people on this planet.