"Thou Shalt Not Facebook"

[MomentoMori]

Pastor to church leaders: Thou shalt not Facebook - Technology & science - Tech and gadgets - msnbc.com

NEPTUNE, N.J. — A New Jersey pastor is telling his married church leaders to delete Facebook or resign.
The Rev. Cedric Miller says much of his recent marital counseling has included infidelity stemming from the social-network website.
The leader of Living Word Christian Fellowship Church in Neptune says Facebook is reigniting old passions. His plan was first reported by the Asbury Park Press.
Miller already had asked married couples among his 1,100 congregants to share their Facebook passwords with each other. He says the reaction to that request was mixed.
He says on Sunday that he will also "strongly suggest" that all married parishioners give up Facebook altogether.

He *is* aware that there are other sites out there aside from Facebook, right?

 

[Dogenzaka]

It's absolutely stupid to make every married couple in the congregation give up facebook. Period.

If infidelity is the problem, investigate what's causing it and stop it. If infidelity is directly happening because of facebook, then yeah, that husband or wife should probably get rid of his/her facebook if it causes him/her to sin and be unfaithful to his/her wife/husband. If he/she can't use it properly, he/she shouldn't be using it.

But that doesn't mean everyone in the congregation, particularly all married partners, should give up facebook. That's ludicrous. Some people use Facebook for inherently noble things, like communicating with distant family members and sharing pictures and stuff. Some even use it for their ministry and organizing church events!

A medium of communication cannot be innately evil. It's a mode of communication.

Though I'm surprised the married couples had "mixed" responses to sharing each other's facebook password. I don't really see what you would have to hide considering they are your spouse, and it's a good way to keep each other accountable, I suppose.

 

[MomentoMori]

If people want to cheat, there are other avenues aside from Facebook. The pastor may as well ban them from using the Internet altogether.

A medium of communication cannot be innately evil. It's a mode of communication.

I agree with this. It's not the mode of communication itself that's evil. It's how you use it. This may come as a novel concept to the pastor, but people *are* capable of restraining themselves. Just because he couldn't doesn't mean everyone in the congregation has that issue.

 

[Bukkake Sensei]

Miller already had asked married couples among his 1,100 congregants to share their Facebook passwords with each other. He says the reaction to that request was mixed.

No no no no no no no fcuking no.

I know that on a superficial level it seems like an act of trust and transparency to share your passwords with your partner, but I can say from experience that it is an absolutely terrible idea. Relationship experts line up overwhelmingly on one side of this issue -- you just don't do it.

 

[Professor Ven]

This is why America has a "separation of church and state"...


Silly pastor, tricks are for kids!

 

[Dogenzaka]

thats a pretty bad idea... thb, thats like the equivalent of exchangin social security #, pins, and bank accounts such a bad and horrible idea

How the hell is that comparable to your spouse knowing your facebook password LOL. One involves harmless communication with your friends and family, and the other involves money that pays for your bills and your identity as a human being in this country. Having said that, your spouse probably knows your social security # already, or at least has access to it, and probably shares a bank account with you anyway.

This is why America has a "separation of church and state"...


Silly pastor, tricks are for kids!

"Separation of church and state" has nothing to do with this thread

 

[MomentoMori]

One involves harmless communication with your friends and family

It won't be exactly harmless if your spouse logs into your account and posts something on your wall that could possibly get you fired or in trouble with other family members or friends.

 

[Dogenzaka]

It won't be exactly harmless if your spouse logs into your account and posts something on your wall that could possibly get you fired or in trouble with other family members or friends.

Why the hell are you married to such a little bitch, then?

I hope I'm not the only one who sees something wrong with this.
They're not a third-grade brat, or a gossipy tween, they're your spouse. Someone you promised to love and honor exclusively in a vow. They shouldn't treat you like that, and vice versa you shouldn't expect to be treated like that, either.

Spouses who seriously care for and understand their spouses don't do that to each other.

 

[Urbane]

Why the hell are you married to such a little bitch, then?

I hope I'm not the only one who sees something wrong with this.
They're not a third-grade brat, or a gossipy tween, they're your spouse. Someone you promised to love and honor exclusively in a vow. They shouldn't treat you like that, and vice versa you shouldn't expect to be treated like that, either.

Spouses who seriously care for and understand their spouses don't do that to each other.

This is the U.S. we're talking about, you know.

 

[Bukkake Sensei]

Why the hell are you married to such a little bitch, then?

Why would you be married to somebody that had so little trust in you in the first place?

Marriage is not supposed to be the end of all autonomy.

 

[Dogenzaka]

Why would you be married to somebody that had so little trust in you in the first place?

Well adultery is a skyrocketing statistic these days.

 

[Bukkake Sensei]

Well adultery is a skyrocketing statistic these days.

Absolutely, but feeding each other's paranoia is not the way to salvage a relationship.

 

[Dogenzaka]

Well the church believes in accountability being a strong way to prevent sin. If you know someone other than you has access to your Facebook, you won't be tempted to begin communicating with another woman through it that you shouldn't be. So I can see why they suggested that married couples share that with each other, though it's not in any way something that needs to be "enforced", especially if neither of you are cheating on each other through Facebook, lol.

 

[MomentoMori]

Why the hell are you married to such a little bitch, then?

I hope I'm not the only one who sees something wrong with this.
They're not a third-grade brat, or a gossipy tween, they're your spouse. Someone you promised to love and honor exclusively in a vow. They shouldn't treat you like that, and vice versa you shouldn't expect to be treated like that, either.

Spouses who seriously care for and understand their spouses don't do that to each other.

Spouses do shit like gossip about each other and cheat on each other all the time. Vows don't mean anything anymore; they're like terms of service agreements. You just say 'I do' without reading the fine print so you can get to the fun stuff.

especially if neither of you are cheating on each other through Facebook, lol.

Because as we all know, there aren't any other ways you can cheat on your spouse over the internet.

 

[Eyesore]

Facebook is reigniting old passions.

What the pastor doesn't know is that people like me are counting on that.
Being the unmarried person in an affair has to be the hottest thing ever.
But yeah, stupid rule is stupid. People will cheat, regardless.
What's best is for the couple to work through that themselves.
Deactivating an account on a website does nothing.

 

[MomentoMori]

Exactly. Hell, there are even sites that married people can sign up for to find other married people to have an affair with (there was one recently that was all over the news, but at the moment I can't recall the name of it). The pastor may as well tell these people to stop using the Internet altogether.

 

[Gram]

haha! religious figures and their hate.
little by little they lose respect.

 

[tangerine]

Spouses do shit like gossip about each other and cheat on each other all the time. Vows don't mean anything anymore; they're like terms of service agreements. You just say 'I do' without reading the fine print so you can get to the fun stuff.

That's a pretty gross generalization, unless you meant it as an exaggeration. Some couples are completely devoted to each other, not even wanting (even being put-off by the thought of "someone else") and wondering (or fantasizing) about anyone other than their partner. Vows mean a lot to many people. I feel sorry for you thinking that you'll never be able to experience that, or I'll be happy for you once you do and you stop thinking so naively.

 

[MomentoMori]

That's a pretty gross generalization, unless you meant it as an exaggeration. Some couples are completely devoted to each other, not even wanting (even being put-off by the thought of "someone else") and wondering (or fantasizing) about anyone other than their partner. Vows mean a lot to many people. I feel sorry for you thinking that you'll never be able to experience that, or I'll be happy for you once you do and you stop thinking so naively.

And as for my "naive thinking," I don't know, maybe the fact that several family members, both male and female, were caught in abusive marriages has something to do with it. Or the high divorce rate. I have no desire to get married, and I have a negative view of marriage, because I saw the hell my family was put through as a result of those abusive marriages when I was growing up. So if that makes me naive, oh well, I'm naive. I hope I never get married, because I would sooner throw myself off a cliff than go through the same hell my mom, great grandmother, aunt, and uncles went through.

Not every couple is completely devoted to each other. Spouses cheat, lie, and gossip about their husbands/wives all the time. They frame their spouses, they sue them, they abuse them. I never once said that every single married couple does that, but you can't ignore the fact that there are couples out there who cheat on their spouses and stab them in the back.

 

[Solar]

And as for my "naive thinking," I don't know, maybe the fact that several family members, both male and female, were caught in abusive marriages has something to do with it. Or the high divorce rate.

It's like puberty all over again, "Gahh she doen't like me therefore love doesn't exist and I probably will never find it."

/angst

A lot of us have presumably been there, right? That's a light-hearted way of saying personal experiences =/= everyone.

There's always hope, you know?