Help/Support ► Torn by religion

[*~NeoAdamus~*]

So i've known this Moldovian girl for about 2 years now, and ever since i've been writing to her. Every now and then we glance at eachother. We had our distance though, and i use to question it allot, but I couldn't really receive an answer. Then there was a moment that she dated this guy but it wasn't really that close of a relationship or at least i think it was her first and you probably wouldn't believe by the way she looks but apparently distance was her thing. You could pretty much guess how i felt, that feeling as if everything you've done for someone was really nothing at all. But in time she didn't stay with him and the distance was still apparent for me and her. I probably should have ignored her and i did for some months but it wasn't in my heart to do so. There was something that gave me this strong feeling about her and it wouldn't go away. She'd always tell her friends of the letters i write to her, and her friends tell me she reads them very often which i found pretty surprising. I guess the thought of this had me somewhat scared for the fact that my bad luck with women was usually the fact that i was shy, or that the girl was into the nasty if yaknowzwhatimean. For once i felt this comfort for a girl that shunned all that had made me shy. Just recently in March i wrote her a letter, and when i saw her after gym she was laughing but not in a humiliating way. She was blushing and she kept staring at me but she didn't want to get near cause....you know distance and all. I told a friend of her that i was going to buy her flowers, and finally in the end i find out that she likes me, but she cant date me because upon Moldovian religion, Moldovians can only date other Moldovians, and somewhat fine if its a white male, but bad for me seeing as im black and hispanic. This was the answer to the distance factor. Religion has no boundary for love but this is as far as it gets. I'm not exactly sure how to feel......

its kind of depressing

 

[Bukkake Sensei]

Regardless of how she might feel about you, if her religion prevents her from establishing a relationship with you and she chooses to honor her religion, there isn't a damn thing to be done about it.

Why would you want anything to do with a girl who was so narrow-minded that she'd choose to only date people who follow her exact beliefs in the first place? Or a girl with religious beliefs that prevent her from dating men of certain races, for that matter?

If she truly believes for whatever reason, religious or otherwise, that she should only ever date Caucasians, she is dense and not worth your time. Move on.

 

[*~NeoAdamus~*]

Regardless of how she might feel about you, if her religion prevents her from establishing a relationship with you and she chooses to honor her religion, there isn't a damn thing to be done about it.

at this part your right, fighting a religion is something too big and complex for me, and im still young. The problem is not that she's narrow minded she's liked plenty of other of guys of race as i've of heard from her past, and she keeps distance of relationship. I dont stand tall on this matter for not only does religion put a wall between us, but it's also a family matter. It's kind of hard.............

 

[Bukkake Sensei]

Then, from the sound of it, she's only holding off dating you to please her folks. Can't blame her for that, either. If it comes down to a decision between you and her family, she will inevitably choose her family, and so my advice to you is to avoid picking a fight that you can't win.

Aside from that, it really doesn't seem like you have a chance with this girl. Religion won.

 

[*~NeoAdamus~*]

hmmmm.....your right, as i said i cant take on religion even if i tried, and as of now im just too young. But it doesn't mean i dont have to like her either. By the time she is an adult she has the time to make her own decisions but that cuts off allot obviously. I understand your statement of this matter. I'll have to think further on this matter, for some reason, allot of intel thinking puts me at ease

 

[Lycanthrope]

As of now, just be friends. Talk to her about it or something. But as SoS said, she would likely pick her religion and family in the long run. He may be right that you should move on.

 

[Tyler Durden]

Aside from what Sam said (which I completely agree with), I have a little bit to add; change that font color. It's too hard to read what you are typing.

 

[Ysu]

If you care about her as much as you say, you shouldn't let anything stop you from trying. If she likes you enough, then religion and family will be a bump you'll have to go over together.

If you do go into relationship, go into it knowing your going to have a very hard time. You have to decide for yourself if its worth it.

 

[*~NeoAdamus~*]

If you care about her as much as you say, you shouldn't let anything stop you from trying. If she likes you enough, then religion and family will be a bump you'll have to go over together.

If you do go into relationship, go into it knowing your going to have a very hard time. You have to decide for yourself if its worth it.

thought about that too......

here's a story i found to be very interesting

There was this girl who was Christian and this guy who was Muslim they fell in love. They wanted to get married and live their lives together. Then Religion was brought into the relationship. He told her that if they got married the kids would have to be his religion. She quickly responded that she wanted her kids to be Christians. There was an invisible wall put up between them from that moment on. Her love for him grew strong and she even thought that maybe she could change him or find a way to persuade him that it could work. But this thought of how much she loves Jesus kept coming into her mind and that her kids would not be able to feel that love from Jesus or for Jesus if she was marry him and have kids with him. He was also very concerned if he would marry her about the fate of their children’s soul. He told her that if she could not agree that the children would be Muslim then they would have to end the relationship.
Many nights she cried herself to sleep over this situation then one morning while crying her heart out to Jesus she heard a very stern voice. The voice said, “My plan is greater than your plan, you asked me to bring you a husband that you can love with all of your heart and he would love you with all of his heart and I did, do not make this complicated don’t allow your differences to destroy a LOVE that has come from above.”
She wasn’t sure on how to interpret this voice her heart was telling her to be with her true love but the pressure from what she learned through her religion and society was also preaching at her.
Well, they separated he went his way she went her way. They often thought of each other and prayed for each other and the thoughts filled with that burning love would flow in the wind across oceans and deserts reminding each that they still exist and that they were each others true love. She soon married and man who was Christian and who loved her dearly, and she gave birth to a handsome boy.
He married also to a beautiful woman who was also a Muslim they tried to have kids but later found out he was not able to give her children.
Years passed by her son grew older she was please that she had the chance to bring her child up in the church and teach him about Jesus and his love.
One day her world came crashing down around her. Her handsome son returned home from college and he was a changed man! He told her about this religion that was introduced to him and how it touched his heart so deeply and he knows that it is right for him. Her son had converted to Islam.
~ The End~

 

[one wing angel]

look im going to be perfectly honest here. you love her right? so what if religions are different so are races. in the end you will all die. what goes into a person's soul is what decides his fate not some teachings that no one can verify. don't let something as petty as religion stop you from doing what makes you happy. you only live once. if there is a god he would want you to be happy right? if it is so wrong to like her do you think your god would have made her so appealing to you?

 

[chaywa]

look im going to be perfectly honest here. you love her right? so what if religions are different so are races. in the end you will all die. what goes into a person's soul is what decides his fate not some teachings that no one can verify. don't let something as petty as religion stop you from doing what makes you happy. you only live once. if there is a god he would want you to be happy right? if it is so wrong to like her do you think your god would have made her so appealing to you?

You're assuming male dominance can win her over, which is laughable given the circumstances at hand.

There's not much you can really do about it OP, the decision lies with her, but Sam pretty much hit the nail on the head.

 

[Bukkake Sensei]

If you care about her as much as you say, you shouldn't let anything stop you from trying.

That would be a perfect philosophy to follow if he lived on the set of a romantic comedy.

look im going to be perfectly honest here. you love her right? so what if religions are different so are races. in the end you will all die. what goes into a person's soul is what decides his fate not some teachings that no one can verify. don't let something as petty as religion stop you from doing what makes you happy. you only live once. if there is a god he would want you to be happy right? if it is so wrong to like her do you think your god would have made her so appealing to you?

...except that people have a lot of control over their beliefs, and no control whatsoever over their race. That comparison sucks. I don't see why you feel the need to remind him that he's going to die, how death is relevant to this situation at all, nor do I see where you get off referring to religion in general as "petty".

Actually, from now on, why don't you just not speak?

 

[one wing angel]

teh i don't really care if you can understand it or not. i have my thoughts and i spoke them im 17 freaking years old mom. think i can have an opinion on religion. ppl have waged wars over whose god is the right one. when in the end it won't matter because we probably we all go to the same place therefore it is petty if you follow it and are miserable. negitive think you may call it but eh IDC. i say he should try it anyways.:closedeyes: ill talk when i want try to stop me

 

[*~NeoAdamus~*]

well to clarify this, bumping over a religion isn't so easy without getting lynched by some of those more serious believers or her parents themself. If she was catholic, jewish, islamic, bhuddist, then hey it'd be easy for me to convert or her to convert, of course not for the right reason but plenty of ppl do that the only problem here is that the Moldavian religion requires that Moldavian girls date other Moldavian men, not some guy from the carribeans which would cut her off from her family, not to mention she's the same age as you and has plans she cant refuse without her parents, just like me. When she is an adult maybe it would be different idk, because you see sites where there are European women who date American men and so on but not all of them are part of a religion. None of this has to do with whoevers God is right its the strict rules within the religion which have to do within culture of a race of ppl.

ITs much, much more difficult then what you're saying here. I'll talk to her and see what she says. It's the better action

 

[Bukkake Sensei]

teh i don't really care if you can understand it or not. i have my thoughts and i spoke them im 17 freaking years old mom. think i can have an opinion on religion. ppl have waged wars over whose god is the right one. when in the end it won't matter because we probably we all go to the same place therefore it is petty if you follow it and are miserable. negitive think you may call it but eh IDC. i say he should try it anyways.:closedeyes: ill talk when i want try to stop me

Except that your thoughts are incoherent, flawed, based on assumptions, and in the wrong thread. Besides, convincing Adamus that the girl's beliefs are "petty" isn't going to get anything accomplished.

Why don't you go here:

Religious - KHInsider.com Forums

Argue theology all day long; this isn't the place for it.

 

[one wing angel]

it's not theology it's just a thought okay. >_> im saying if someone would rather be miserable following a religion then there is something wrong anything becomes petty when it comes between what makes you as an individual. i actually have the same thing going on right now with a girl who likes me but religion comes between. i told her if i make her happy it shouldn't bother her.

 

[Ysu]

That would be a perfect philosophy to follow if he lived on the set of a romantic comedy.

Ah of course, because we live in the real world, where light bulbs that run on hope are nowhere to be found.

You could both be Atheists. Problem solved. That might be putting it too bluntly though, but it works for me.

 

[*~NeoAdamus~*]

it's not theology it's just a thought okay. >_> im saying if someone would rather be miserable following a religion then there is something wrong anything becomes petty when it comes between what makes you as an individual. i actually have the same thing going on right now with a girl who likes me but religion comes between. i told her if i make her happy it shouldn't bother her.

same here, but i just have to talk her more about the situation

 

[Ysu]

Wait . . . theres something I completely overlooked. Theres no such thing as Moldavian religion. Its called Orthodox Christianity. What your fighting is culture boundaries. Just had to clear that up.

 

[Silent Killer]

why must everything be seperated by religion? i mean come on... seriously... it is human nature to occasionaly want those unattainable but if its because of religion come on. if your God loves you that much he should not care who you fall in love with. but thats just me