((I do not own KH or Ansem or any other characters.))
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Hello. If you are reading this, you have accepted darkness. If your before-heart was strong, you shall be able to control mindless, idiotic, creatures, called "Heartless."
If your before-heart was weak, then...
GET THE F*CK OUT OF HERE. YOU DON'T DESERVE CONTROLLING HEARTLESS.
Anyway, let us get started!
The Ingredients To Controlling Heartless.
If your before-heart was weak, then...
GET THE F*CK OUT OF HERE. YOU DON'T DESERVE CONTROLLING HEARTLESS.
Anyway, let us get started!
The Ingredients To Controlling Heartless.
1. Sticks. If you're heartless group does not listen to you, poke them to see if they are still alive with a stick.
2. Cookies. Heartless lurve their cookies. So keep lots of cookies on hand. Or else your Heartless will start going loopy like Ryuk the Shinigami from Death Note when he doen't get his apple.
3. A keyblade. If your Heartless still does not listen to you, it either has better things to do then listen to a pansy, or it is just retarded. So just kill it. We've got plenty.
4. Hearts. Obviously, if you haven't played Kingdom Hearts 1, you wouldn't know why a Heartless needs hearts. It's as simple as jumblin up Xemnas' name to make Mansex.
And Finally... 5. Darkness. Heartless hate light. So you can say all Heartless are racist, since they hate white and love black... Oh, God! I got to write that down for my Comedy Skit at Castle Oblivion!
2. Cookies. Heartless lurve their cookies. So keep lots of cookies on hand. Or else your Heartless will start going loopy like Ryuk the Shinigami from Death Note when he doen't get his apple.
3. A keyblade. If your Heartless still does not listen to you, it either has better things to do then listen to a pansy, or it is just retarded. So just kill it. We've got plenty.
4. Hearts. Obviously, if you haven't played Kingdom Hearts 1, you wouldn't know why a Heartless needs hearts. It's as simple as jumblin up Xemnas' name to make Mansex.
And Finally... 5. Darkness. Heartless hate light. So you can say all Heartless are racist, since they hate white and love black... Oh, God! I got to write that down for my Comedy Skit at Castle Oblivion!
The Process Of Taming Heartless.
Now, read below, as my servant Riku shows how to tame Heartless.
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Riku: *Pokes Heartless.* Dead. *Pokes Heartless.* Alive. *Pokes Heartless.* Dead.
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Riku: *Pets Shadow* Aw... Who's a cute Heartwess? You are! You are! :3 *Gives Shadow a Cookie*
Shadow: *Is on a collar, noms cookie*
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Riku: DAMMIT, SIT!!! *Smashes Heartless with Way To Dawn*
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Riku: *Shows a picture of Sora* His heart is as good as a cookie!
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Riku: *Takes out a picture of Obama and a picture of George Bush*
Heartless: *Tears apart the George Bush picture, leaves the Obama picture be*
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Riku: *Pokes Heartless.* Dead. *Pokes Heartless.* Alive. *Pokes Heartless.* Dead.
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Riku: *Pets Shadow* Aw... Who's a cute Heartwess? You are! You are! :3 *Gives Shadow a Cookie*
Shadow: *Is on a collar, noms cookie*
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Riku: DAMMIT, SIT!!! *Smashes Heartless with Way To Dawn*
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Riku: *Shows a picture of Sora* His heart is as good as a cookie!
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Riku: *Takes out a picture of Obama and a picture of George Bush*
Heartless: *Tears apart the George Bush picture, leaves the Obama picture be*
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Congratz. You are now a Heartless controller. Now go and kill Sora!
P.S: While you're out, get me a medium coffee at Tim Hortons. Hollow Bastion's coffee taste like shit.
P.S: While you're out, get me a medium coffee at Tim Hortons. Hollow Bastion's coffee taste like shit.
